Hey, man. I appreciate the advice. I already do some basic asana in my morning calisthenics, but I’m looking to take it up a notch or three. Thinking about adding the 5 Tibetans aka the Five Rites of Rejuvenation.
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Man, I had such a huge sigh of relief. I’m literately emotional over here cause my heart is breaking for you and the struggles you’re going through. I’m happy you’re at least not homeless, though it sounds like maybe it’s not too great of a place to be.
I will say it sounds like a community of people rallied to support you magically, and I’m so happy for that. I’ll continue to read your posts, and sending all sorts of good energy your way! Good things will come, I’m sure of it.
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18/11/19
I realised something today: My magick always works.
Looking back on the last five years of my practice, it occurred to me that almost all of my spells and rituals have had results. Some have not had full results, but most have had at least some kind of outcome manifest.
Love and Lust spells? Check.
Glamour Magick? Check
Manipulation magick? Check.
Baneful? Check.
Short term money spells? Check.
Servitors? Check
Sigils? Check
The only rituals that don’t seem to manifest for me are those workings for long term wealth and general prosperity. There appears to be a ceiling for me in this particular area. I can keep myself going, bringing small amounts of money when needed, but I am unable to go much beyond a basic survival level of material goods it seems.
My recent experience after the fire is a good example. None of my attempts to manifest a new home worked, and I think it was because I was looking to “upgrade” from the place that burned, and thus hit whatever ceiling I have on what I am “allowed.” Even Lucifer and Yechuiah were unable to break through.
Recent divination has pointed to some forces at work behind my life. Whether actively against, or at the very least, interfering with, my prosperity work, I do not yet know.
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DK - Well I’m glued to your progress. You deserve your best life so i’ll leave it there for now…
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31/12/19
I haven’t posted in this journal for quite a while, as I haven’t had much to detail, but, with the new year dawning, I have decided to dust off the cobwebs and undergo a sort of magical intensive for the next 100 days, and write about it here.
I’m still trying to figure out what these mysterious forces are that are moving in the background of my existence, and what they mean for me, but I’ve received hints (thanks, Eva!) that they may be Enochian., or possibly something alien. For now, though, I’m going to focus on other stuff. I’ve got the rituals for members of the forum to keep me busy in January, and I am going to work some body magick.
Awhile back, a few readings done for me by @Eye_of_Ra, indicated that I should learn to have more fun with my magick, and not be so serious about it all the time, so, even though I have these big forces doing whatever it is they are doing, I’m going to try to work some fun and maybe a bit of joy into what I’m doing.
Stay tuned.
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1/1/20
Something really weird just happened. I was in the kitchen making lunch, thinking about the rituals and readings I will be starting for members here, and singing to myself, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a tall, pale form walk past the doorway into the living room.
I naturally assumed it was my roommate, as he is tall and lanky, but I went out to say hi and there was nothing there. It wan’t even like he had walked past and had returned to his room. There was no sound of a door closing, or anything to say he had even been there.
Now, I don’t get spiritual visitors. I have shielding put up by my Higher Self that is essentially a permanent 9 foot magical circle around me so uninvited guest are exceedingly rare. Whatever this thing was, it was very pale, the kind of white that glows in the dark, and it was thin, almost cadaverous. I didn’t get a good look at it, as I only glimpsed it out of the corner of my eye, but it was by far the clearest impression of something I have ever had. I could have sworn it was an actual physical person, that’s how solid it seemed. It wasn’t an indistinct shadow like I usually see.
That’s another thing I haven’t thought to mention. I’ve been seeing shadows out of the corner of my eyes a lot lately, especially in the last month or so. I don’t get any impression of threat from them, but when I’m watching a movie or something, I’ll see a flutter of movement, and glance up to see a willowy shadow, barely discernible against the ambient light, for a moment before fading away.
It has never been like this for me. Something’s going on.
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Just want to mention that I’ll see shadowy figures from time to time as well. I believe they are demons that I have summoned making their presence known to me. Often they will appear while I am thinking about a situation I’ve done magick to progress, especially after receiving a bit of insight.
I’ve also seen an angel appear in my apartment for a very brief moment before. It was very tall (going up to the ceiling) and wearing slightly off-white colored robes. I was undergoing the Omnipotence Transformation and was in a state of pretty intense despair. My coffee carafe fell on the floor and shattered, and I turned to see it behind me. It was a reminder to trust the process.
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I love when demons get acoustically solid. Muggle visitors hear my familiar meowing and ask where is the cat.
I think that if something is there despite your security system, it’s because it must be there, maybe to teach you that you need more security
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4/1/20
I started using my Invocation of Eternity this morning. It’s sort of a combination of a banishing ritual and @Lady_Eva 's Invocation of Inner Divinity. It calls down Celestial and Infernal energies to gestate and open the Divine Seed within in what I conceptualise as a type of alchemical process to awaken the Sleeping God.
As mentioned elsewhere in this journal, I’ve had a hard time choosing a path to focus on. I dance between the angels and the demons, never really committing to one current or another for any length of time. The Invocation of Eternity came to me when I was trying to decide on a banishing ritual to do daily that didn’t call on any particular beings.
It is still in the testing stage, and I may add this or that to it, but if it actually accomplishes something, I may post it to the forum for others to experiment with.
I’ve come to realise I’ve neglected the art of projection in my practice. I’ve been so focused on evocation for the last ten years that my skills in soul travel are, shall we say, mediocre to non existent, so I’ve committed to working through EA’s Mastering Soul Travel course in my 100 day intensive.
I have also decided to once again commence my aspect operation with the 72 Angels of the Shemhamforash and the 72 demons of the Goetia. I didn’t get very far into it the first time, only completing the first six angels and demons, so I am going to start over from the beginning.
I owe Belial a commitment as well.
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13/1/20
Today I experimented with @Lady_Eva 's “If I was a Living God, and could make things happen by thinking about them, then…” technique.
I wanted a specific flavour of cider, but the last time I went to the store they were all out, so I decided I would try the technique. I took three deep breaths, and said out loud, “If I was a Living God, and able to make things happen just by thinking about them, as long as they were believable to myself and others, then I will find my favourite flavour of cider on the shelf.” I briefly visualised it and then let it go, and went to the store.
The flavour I was looking for wasn’t there. I looked on all the shelves, but didn’t see it anywhere. I asked the guy at the front if they had any left, and he wasn’t sure, but he went into the refrigerated section with me, and lo and behold, found the last remaining bottle hidden behind three rows of a different flavour in the overstock.
Not a bad success. It certainly happened in a believable manner. I will have to experiment more.
I’ve been a bit lazy with my rituals, and find myself falling back into old habits, so this week I will try to complete the forum offerings. I have five rituals and one reading left to do.
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This morning, I read this, and it helped, so I wanted to thank you. I was having a lot of anxiety but was able to meditate anyway, which is a big achievement for me. Right at the end of my meditation, I remembered what you said here. Since I knew that a lot of my anxiety was because I was going to have to deal with my bank (I’m an American, but I live in Russia, which means I have to speak Russian at the bank, and even though I’m okay at it, I stress…), I decided to use this technique and said, “I’ll go to the bank, they will be pleasant, and the problem will be resolved.” Now, the people at the bank are usually pleasant enough, so it wasn’t necessarily anything unusual. However, it gave me the energy and calm that I needed to go and deal with the problem. It was resolved quickly, and everyone was nice, as usual.
I also had called on Buer to help me master my anxiety. While I can’t say that either of these actions actually changed what would have otherwise happened, they did produce the end result that I wanted, which is enough. So, anyway, thanks for sharing your experiences.
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16/1/20
I feel something big heading my way. I don’t know what, or whom, but yesterday in meditation I intuited it, and again this morning. I don’t think it is associated with the forces at play behind my life. It feels…different. I can’t tell if it is something with ill intent or not, but regardless, I’ve stepped up my game, and started drilling my basics hard. Just like in martial arts, its the basics that will cover your ass in times of trouble. I’m also adding some new magical tech to my arsenal.
I’m beginning to get the impression that Something has taken notice of me. My magick is mainly concerned with improving my material life, and I make it a rule not to go around poking things in the dark with a stick, so I don’t know what’s going on, but I am getting more spiritual activity than ever before, mainly shadows flittering around.
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I am looking forward to your thoughts on the course itself, and seeing you progress through it, what challenges you face from the teachings, what you found easy vs what took a bit of work, etc.
I just thought I’d chime in and let you know that, since my support of your endeavors have been mostly silence and nods thus far. When I read that you were working through it, I got a bit excited xD
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17/1/20
I tried another experiment with the “If I was a living God…” technique, but this time it failed. I was trying to manifest a letter that a friend had sent me back in December that seems to have gotten lost in the mail, but no luck.
It’s not the only thing that seems to have gotten lost during delivery. A book I ordered from Finbarr International never arrived either. I wonder if Belial might be able to help 
I’ve decided to take the First Flame of the OAA at the end of the month. I’ve been wishy washing about it for years, but now I think its time.
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20/1/20
Woke up late. Didn’t do my one pointed meditation until 130 PM. The physical stillness of the exercise is easy; I can sit, stand or lie for 30 minutes with no twitching or adjusting without trouble. The inner stillness is more difficult. My mental chatter wouldn’t quiet down today.
Worked my chakras with EA’s exercise at about 530 PM. Became quite tired suddenly afterwards. Was almost nodding off while watching some cartoons.
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Try taking note of what comes up, and do this without judging or even reviewing your notes for a few sessions, later see if there’s a pattern to this.
And remember meditation is about observing the mind, not necessarily controlling it as such, so as long as you know it’s mental chatter and don’t mistake it for “zomg this urgent and amazing thought even though I’ve had it a billion times before needs action NAOW!!1!” - then, you’re actually winning the game. 
A concept from the god-tier book Getting Things Done is that there’s no need to have the same thought more than once, unless you enjoy having that thought.
(This is linked to, “if you think it, ink it” - as in, when a bright idea occurs, get it OFF your mind and into a reliable system, such as a notepad you carry with you, so you can action it.)
This releases mental runtime to be creative, as opposed to handling dudgery like reminders, and “to do” lists etc.
You MAY already have this aced, but you can double-check by seeing what recurs over the course of a few days’ meditation. 
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21/1/20
The inner stillness came easier today. My mind chatter settled down fairly quickly and I was able to focus on the candle for thirty minutes with only a few thoughts popping up.
Lately, I’ve found myself more tired than usual. I’m not sure why. I wake up alright, and do my exercises, but as the day progresses I start yawning and getting more and more sleepy. I went for a walk after doing EA’s chakra exercises, and when I got home, i had a glass of cider and fell asleep.
My magical intensive isn’t turning out to be very intense so far.
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But where’s the fun in that? 
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24/1/20
Yesterday was a strange anniversary of sorts. It marked exactly one year since the fire that made me homeless for 8 months and, in a very freaky coincidence, I found the person responsible for that fire on the back deck right outside my room. It was not a very good start to my day, and I hope it is not a herald for things to come.
The guy was out of my life, and I thought my baneful work had taken care of him, so his sudden reappearance makes me wonder if my work failed, or if it is one of those “life gets better before it turns to crap” kind of deals.
So far, my daily practice includes:
Depth relaxation upon awakening
Meridian tapping to “wake up” my energy system, followed by some basic yoga and Dr. Death’s Badass Brain Scrub.
Invocation of Eternity and banishing
OAA exercises
In the afternoon, I do one pointed meditation and the preliminary exercises from the Soul Travel course. Depending upon the rest of my day, I do either evocation or chanting in the evening, and wrap up with my Invocation of Eternity and banishing before bed.
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26/1/20
I have been able to maintain silence of the mind for at least ten minutes of my daily 30 minute one pointed meditation which I think is great progress. I think the brain scrubbing helps.
I’ve been noticing some activity in both my Muladhara and Ajna chakras. It feels like a light tingling and buzzing, and becomes more noticeable when my awareness is placed on the area. I have also noticed an increase in libido directly after my chakra exercise.
The shadows that had been flittering around me seem to have disappeared. I haven’t been seeing them out of the corner of my eye for several days now. Perhaps whatever was attracting them is no longer of interest, or maybe my Invocation of Eternity is clearing them away.
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