Yep. It’s the same with everything not just magick it’s the use that makes it evil or good (in other words what ya do with it that counts).
So @Nocte_ac_die any further revelations to share today? I’d love to hear them.
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no new revelations. Just usual stuff I guess, trying to keep it positive and all.
Saw and heard a sign, a girl Ive talked to before was waiting at the bus stop, and started to do small talk, and asked if anything big went down since last time we talked, and she got excited and too dme her daughter won a couple beauty pageants.
Then during the bus ride saw this huge billboard that was blue with a sunflower.
I then said :Thank you Tzadkiel" quietly.
I think this was actually meant to be a journal post, but maybe it will help someone else. I can’t erase people perceptions of me without help, so just try to remain positive and let jerks be jerks (like the construction goldbrickers staying at the hotel while building the other hotel), other than that was a positive day.
Perhaps my revelation is angels do exist. Or my will works.
Also got a heads up about a new job possibility working with a friend.
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Spirits are funny. So truth be told, I dragged my feet on the Enochian Tablet, because I guess I want it to be perfect, and dont have a ruler.
So when my browser starts up, it pops up a window not touched that deals with Enoichian.
I swear to God its true.
Speaking of God, some people can’t understand, their eyes and minds blinded by trauma, in the temporal sense but under the impression its eternal. But they lose sight of the message behind it, much like a Grimms fairy tale, there is a point to any story,
The point is to live love, truth, compassion and kindness.
A Principled, value centered life. This is what every executive that follows Covey is supposed to do.
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And Im up wide awake at 3am. Okay, guess its time to do the Tablet without a ruler.
Due to lack of sleep and energy, no rituals done last night aside from the QC/LBRP/QC.
Im going back to forgetting about sexual possibilities. Dipping my feet back into it, nothing has changed on my side. Therefore, magic is my only relationship now.
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Fuck it, Im done offering my two cents to ungrateful people. Whatever, you do you. Im sure with popular consensus that I anti shit probably won’t be noticed.
Oh well. Might as well learn the law of silence, I guess I have.
Okay, calmed down, back to the enochian board. I found (oddly enough there it is waiting to be found) a piece of white cardstock among a few pieces, and colored cardstock paper.
Now to figure out the colorings chem and overall design, spacing for the letters and so on.
Tuesday 3/22/2022 )13=4, Order and sight). Ruling Planet: Mars. Color of the Day: Red/Scarlet.
Sleep/Dreams:
The usual.
Moon phase:
Waning in Scorpio, good time to learn baneful magic, aim for the reproductive systems and nose simultaneously,
#Weather:
Getting nicer, still cold.
Mood:
Grouchy but trying to remain positive and helpful. Going to go 100% on my studies, speaking of which, need to register for classes.
Diet:
Eating better, still not at a four course meal level.
Exercise: Get off your ass and do:
30 Jumping Jacks
30 Situps
30 Pushups
30 Mountain Climbers
30 Burpees
30 Crunches
30 Deck Squats
I am increasing the count by ten until I get up and do them, in which case it drops back to 10 to train the will and stamina.
Physical notes: None. Usual growing pains and problems from not keeping up with responsibility of the body. Do need to shed probably 20 pounds and build muscle. Simply to feel good about myself, and no other reason.
Mental Notes: Some people aggravate me, yet I see myself in them, and they will experience what I experienced if they try to grate my nerves once. Shunned.
Construction people get on my nerves, as apes with a skill generally, some smarter, some actually dumber. Yet they feel they are gods gift to everyone and expect to be worshipped. Not something to glorify. You’re not exactly engineers guys, Its not their intelligence that annoys me, nor their ignorance, but their complete and total lack of sensitivity or manners. Im speaking strictly of the ones that grace my every workplace for some reason.
Adorations:
Morning adoration after midnight, at 4am.
Morning Lord of the Universe adoration.
Rituals:
QC/LBRP/QC
Still battling darkness in my mind, but forcing myself to see the lines and finished product, even mirrored in external perception out of the corner of my eyes, and seeing the colored robe of each archangel. Still feels unnecessary except a test to focus concentration on intent and will.
Tarot Contemplation Ritual: I The Magician. Mercury.
I noticed that the Magician is alone like other characters, but this one is also joined with eternity unlike most others. Yet he is getting his results by doing the work. Focused concentration.
Shem Angel of the Day:
Sitael. Angel against adversity.
Reading Resources and associated work there of:
Still in Christophers Earth material, but feel like I skipped reading in Neophyte, and words are put in a book for a reason. So back to Neophyte I go, read thoroughly, reflect, put into action. Record in offline journal and keep workings private. Practicing Silence exercises.
Novena
Private. Will experiment with Pumpkin Chai in relation to ideas as an oil, that of plenty harvest and spirit. Earthiness. Use with Green and white candles. Patchouli as incense.
Shem Working: Work through method in 72 Angels of Magic and lodge paper. Read and thoroughly understand before applying. And a robe and belt is probably required.
I think I will wear martial arts belts as my grey robe belt.
Mental note: Go out and buy a Green-White, solid Green, and Green-Black belts, as well as Brown-White, solid Brown and Brown-Black belts as alternate Earth Belts. White possible. Symbol of entry level in the belt system. Start with robe and white belt. The belts listed to buy were grades not obtained. If Im going to be a solitary Ninja again (self retrain in katas and fundamentals), then the belts will be necessary. Symbolism and recognition of element grade.
Mental note: Is it enough to use oils in the water cups, or is a diffuser necessary? Is oil necessary if candles are not being used?
Mental note: After creating the Enochian Tablet of Earth on cardstock, how to consecrate, charge and use, as well as open and close it properly?
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"Using a compass and ruler, draw the sigil and the outside of the large rectangle first, in pencil. In the sigil, sketch the carefully planned equal-armed cross, as it is shown. On the edge of the rectangle, mark the points where the grid intersects it, and draw in the grid with ruler and pencil. Make sure that it is as perfect as you can muster, and don’t be afraid to start all over if your erasures are damaging the look of the tablet or if your measurements have errors.
Now paint the shaded areas of the grid black. Black is the main color of earth. It may require two coats to make the paint completely opaque. Paint the ring around the seal black as well. Paint the arms of the cross citrine (top), olive (right), black (bottom), and russet (left). These are the colors ofMalkuth in Briah, the World of Creation.
Next, use pencil to sketch in the appropriate letter for each square. Be sensitive to the space in the square, making sure that all of the letters look comfortable and of equal proportion.
Next, paint the letters in the following manner (notice how the tablet is divided like the Jerusalem Cross into four quadrants containing lesser crosses):
Portion ofTablet
Black squares, upper left quadrant Black squares, upper right
Black squares, lower left
Black squares, lower right
All the white squares in the tablet
Color ofLetters
Yellow (color of air)
Blue (color of water)
Green (a color of earth)
Red (color of fire)
Black (contrasting color of Spirit)
Clean up any stray marks by drawing in the grid lines with a high-quality black marker and a ruler. You can also retouch the squares with black paint to clean up any smudges from the colored letters. When your tablet is as perfect as you can make it, frame it."
So a small undertaking. I guess I need to visit OfficeMax or something of the likes, unless I find a ruler and compass elsewhere.
A great book is called Magic:Black and White by Carl Nagel. It looks like it was produced in the 1970s, but still solid incantations.
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I realize squinting isn’t supposed to be part of it, but when your eyes are closed, and you can’t see a light, try tightening your forehead by squinting.
That is how I was able to do my Qabalistic Cross rituals this morning. The LRP I had to force seeing the lines, and remembering the previous ones drawn are around me.
It got easier calling the archangels, seeing color dots peripherally as it were.
Ive noticed eyes open I can still see the drawn pentagram lines.
I have an idea for the dark recommended to me elsewhere to visually see it in the dark, by using a lit clear white votive candle. Interesting the color of the pentagram when drawing it with the white candle in the dark.
I have seen some versions where the sign of the enterer is done followed by the sign of silence, which I typically do not include.
The Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram is still a bear for me, knowing how to draw the lines. Its easy because its two triangles, but there are still other steps. The goal here is to get to planetary and zodiacal magic. This is the entry level step.
Tarot Divination (Split Hexagram Spread)
Greater Spiritual Influence: XX Judgement. Elemental Fire.
Lesser Spiritual Influence: XIV Temperance. Sagittarius.
Spiritual Advice: IX The Hermit. Virgo.
Unconscious Desires: XVIII The Moon. Pisces.
Conscious Desires: II The High Priestess. Luna.
Practical Advice: 0 The Fool. Elemental Air. Uranus.
Final Outcome: I The Magician. Mercury.
Top of Deck: III The Empress. Venus.
I believe what the spread is telling me, is that as Shin is the first path on the Pillar of Severity, that is the greater influence. Samekh, or Temperance, is from Luna to Tiphareth, the Middle Pillar, the Pillar of Mildness.
Practical Advice, however, points to the Pillar of Mercy, and at that, Chesed.
Thank you Tzadkiel!! 
Unconscious Desires, here we see The Moon, the first path on the Pillar of Mercy.
The High Priestess, again, from Tiphareth to Kether shows the Middle Pillar, the Pillar of Mildness.
But, Practical Advice says the Fool, again, the Pillar of Mercy, but Choikmah to Kether.
And in that, I gain I, Mercury, Beth, Binah to Kether.
And the Empress is the path over the abyss along with Gimel. Daleth and Gimel, that will be interesting.
It clearly shows purse the model of the Kircher Tree, and climb the Tree of Life. That is what will occur.
Yeah, I already screwed up the dimensions and lines, even the dots were jumping.
Yep, I will need a compass and ruler/TSquare when I get paid to continue attempting an Earth Tablet. Using Feral Scorcery, I will see what I can find, empty pill bottle for the top symbol of the Earth Tablet, and cereal box for a makeshift ruler. The columns might be scrweed, but the rows should be solid. Might work. I might as well fuck it up as close to perfection as possible, then see what I need to adjust. Using cut corner tarot cards was not a tasty option, though it is interesting to note on the sketch pad, four tarot cards side by side exactly fill the row. Not high enough for four cards though. Three maybe,
Started anyway, its not perfect, I expected it not to be perfect.
Eleven minutes later … mostly done.
Do I have the paint required for this? Nope, lets go with watercolor pencil.
Do I want to do 40 exercises tomorrow morning? Or do I want to do 30 today and have them drop back down to 10 tomorrow? Then again, do I enjoy looking down and seeing nothing but my spare tire? Or my flabby sagging moobs? Do people respect me more upon sight of men, especially in shirts or pants that show my actual size and shape? Or is it laughter and disdain? Hopefully at least a mixture of the two. 40 it is.
Looked at 101 Curses. Had to drop my rage and think a minute, as there is no reversing them, unless a spirit intervenes. Plus who’s to say one isn’t their patron, this makes perfect sense to me now even thinking of that just now. I could get the return to sender at the least. That would not be pleasant.
Perhaps my best revenge is to continuing to work on myself, and my magick, and become competent in something, and paying my way rather than being a person acting through learned dependance.
That is the best revenge. Knowing they couldn’t handle what I went through first and foremost, then living well.
Then again, perhaps I should go ballistic on the person, they deserve it. They truly do.
Then again, the Pillars of Mildness and Mercy were shown to me in divination. RHP in other words. Or not necessarily, I could still do the middle and right pillars in there, on the Sitra Achra. And at some point, yes, I will probably engage myself in it, once my mind is unclouded and am able to restfully sleep and dream again.
Mundanely speaking
I will try to keep the Hotel Dinner Attendant job, but the FG job may be going away if the new job hires me. That would be helpful to me, will apply tonight and try to call tomorrow for an interview, otherwise next week in the mornings. Pancheros, the third job, went bye. I may pursue Speedway as well. They need my deli cafe help badly.
Classes. Register for classes. Get all necessary info and commit to it. Study hard and do well.
Certification - Security+. Network+, LPIC (Linux SysAdmin), AWS, Cloud. Look into pricing.
Art – Keep going.
Magick – Keep going. Climb the Tree of Life via path workings from Scrying The Tree of Life.
Pandie - Needs a groomer or vet appt to get the deep mats out that I can’t get out of her fur. Do healing on her.
Work – shower soon, get dressed, do your best and manage time and dishes well. Deal with the construction guys in a civil, professional, polite manner. You already run that show yourself, now show the professionalism. Its cold today which means colder tonight, dress appropriately, with hat and gloves. Hopefully this horseshoe is over in a week and people can start dressing in shorts.
Women and Sexuality – Well, they’re missing out. If they can drop the act, it would be worth their while is all this middle aged man can say. I may not have the stamina of a 20 year old, but plenty of personal experience, some slightly hardcore. All XXX though.
Im not the best catch these days, not to my own liking however. Hence the petition party. I should probably work on myself, be kind, and look and smell my best at all times, and dress sharp. Upgrade your life with or without them. Look into a trailer or condo or something for a house. Get a better job and dont quit climbing again. Use your experience to deal with troublesome young bucks including cursing. Let them experience my trials.
Dressed, showered cologned and ready for work.
Pretzel Bites and Pigs in Blankets night. And queso dip.
Lots of prep and cooking time.
Petted my kitty a bit, going over the Tablet colors in my head, with what watercolor pencil hues I have.
Do laundry and exercise before bed, then do Middle Pillar right before bed.
So, action plan on Temple Supplies. Half goes toward trips, and I spent seven, the seven of tips I had, as well as the other savings 7. So, with what I have, I will plan shopping at Dollar Tree and the Food Coop to get the herbs and spices and supplies for making oils, and make my own oils, if I can get ahold of all the ingredients. Black candles are near impossible to find in my town, at least last time I checked. So maybe try Black Arts oil ingredients and see what I can find.
I simply suck at saving money. I think I have guilt in earning my own money, maybe because Im seen as more fortunate, or suffering people exist everywhere. That was a great insight, and I bet it is solid.
Back to the Journal and off my thought train a minute
SAMAEL INVOCATION-
Tuesday- Day of Mars
+
In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of ELOHIM GIBOR , who governeth the sphere of Geburah and Mars, I call upon SAMAEL , Venom of God, the Archangel of Death. Form us unto completion through energy, courage, and loyalty as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Samael, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Mars. Rid me of impulsivity, cruelty, anger, and hate. Inspire me with proper motivation, assertiveness, vitality, the ability to calm my inner conflicts, and the endurance to overcome enemies both within and without.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
Every time Im getting irritated, I need to come back to read and remind myself of this.
Practicing the Middle Path … A topic for me to dwell on tonight while working since I work solo.
The middle pillar is simply the equilibrium between those of mercy and severity.
Like a balanced scale.
I don’t see any reason to attribute the pillar of severity to the other side of sitra Achra.
Doing so creates an unbalanced view of the tree and misses the balance.
It just seems so neutered.
“Severity” is a dynamic, active principle at work all around us in one way or the other, and a part of this universe.
The scales may tip, but the balance will return when equilibrium is returned.
Every action has its reaction, and then a sum total or balance is concluded.
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Well, I didn’t dwell on the Middle Pillar, but thank you @crookedpathfinder
What I did do is not try to get upset with the construction guys/drinking party. I just made plenty of food, anticipated them all raiding the food while I was in the kitchen. I wasn’t going to get shut down by these clowns, instead I did my job and kept my emotions and professionalism in check, even got tipped by one party! Thank you Khamael/Samuel/Samael of Geburah and Mars
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Cause its coming in a few hours …
Wednesday- Day of Mercury
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In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of ELOHIM TZAVAOTH , who governeth the sphere of Hod and Mercury, I call upon RAPHAEL , Healing of God, and Divine Messenger. Form us unto completion through the learning and disbursement of Truth as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Raphael, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Mercury. Rid me of confusion, anxiety, distraction, indecisiveness, and overanalysis. Inspire me with reason, coordination, clear understanding, versatility, and concise communication.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
I always feel drained, Gee, I wonder why this is. My pet is now suffering because of it, that is, she is feeling ill, and I cannot help her at all. Nice folks to worshipful they really seem to care.
Okay. Sick kitty. Not much I can do, except hope that she pulls through and feels better. But I need to work with her on her weight, which is severely unhealthy at this point. So, she may not like it, but one food choice has to go, probably;y the wet and treats. So, not sure what t do except hope.
Okay, I need help out of my mess and nobody here can resolve the issues.
So, I need to think my way through and out of this crap.
First thing, need immediate pay and benefits. Now, one Greek restaurant is a possibility, and then there is the gas station.
Second thing, need to get my cat to a vet and groomer, only I dont have pet insurance and can’t get it because of my credit.
Third thing, need to get into psychotherapy and see my neurologist, and a doctor for a physical.
Okay, some of the topics here are getting out of control in terms of why read them, so perhaps back off reading anything and just do my shit and comment in my journal.
Therapy. That and aikido lessons might do wonders for my self worth, which will tank if my pet goes seriously ill or worse, she is my one tie to sanity.
I owe my self 40 of each exercise, plus, need to do adorations and a LRP.
Need to find a new job today that either pays well to my liking, or at least has benefits.
There is no sinking in quicksand any longer, its been a titanic disaster again in financial terms.
I have no literal idea on how to recover my life. Ive had small wins, but no epic saving grace or mountain mover. For gods sake, I can’t even visiualize a pentagram any longer when trying to do the LBRP. Its like some huge joke to see how someone can push me into being homeless.
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