Journal of Nocte ac die

[Nocte_ac_die]

Well, its likely I will be evicted. If I am homeless, there is the high potential of nice youths or fellow homeless people assaulting my unprovoked. So lets find me a job and immediate money.

My paycheck left me 160. I have to take my cat to the vet, and pay 140 for the visit alone. If she needs to be put down, I have no money to do so. If she needs care, I have no money to do so. So Im forced to do the bare minimum or sit here helpless as she slips further away from health.

I need a good job immediately.

And for what? Because I was forced to go back into the occult from a deliverance, in order to recover my life to no avail. Or because I am a Christian or want to work with angels? Of course, there is no harm at all in the other side, now is there?

Dont mind my madman rants and raves.

Okay, emergency is emergency, I have to spend nearly all my money to take her up the street to the vet. They will help clean her up a bit they said. They said it might be an infection, they are worried primarily about the nails on the paws. So, my rent is 850. I got paid 160 today. After taking her to the vet, I will have twenty dollars. Doesn’t all this seem ridiculous to you at all as a living human being?

The other option as a newbie to it, would be to OD on heroin or the likes to free me from it all. The problem with that “solution” is that it is not a or the solution. I had seriously contemplated that while walking home. The other option is to be homeless, and wander south state to state and possibly or probably be eaten by an alligator. The other option is to plan my life carefully as it seems anyone and everyone wants to immediately destroy it like it is a game. Its not a game, I didn’t consent to it, and yes I am miserable.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Thanks again Tzadkiel and Holy Spirit, a call to repentance, acceptance. Blessing, the blessing of Pandora recovering, the kind vet staff who gave me 30 cash after my account was drained for th minimum visit, and to the call I received letting me know the Greek restaurant is hiring me and wants me there at 3 tomorrow to apply. They pay every week, which will be nice. Downtown, near the bus, and working with friends.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Was sitting here about too get myself fucked up by reciting the keys without my knowing what Im doing, held off, and listened to the Bornless Ritual, thinking about how to merge in LKiber Samekh and Liber Israfel into my Archangel Candle Rituals.
Then got a kind letter from someone urging getting the mind sorted first, and then perhaps an OTO track, at least follow Crowley. I may just make that shift, as I have read Magick in Theory and Practice, Magic Without Tears, Vision and the Voice, Liber Al, Liber Samekh, Liber Israfel, Book 4, and started the big blue tome which I sold for gas money for getting to work, and then repurchase it when I can find it or have enough to buy it.
Now, merging Enochian, Liber Samekh, Liber Israfel, Archangel Calls, Candle Novenas, SRP, SRH, what power can I plug into …

A steady downpour and lightning and thunder boomed after getting home, luckily enough.
Still thundering and raining, cold. Weather is supposed to include snow again this week, damn the snow to hell…Then again, white as snow in the works I won’t deny.

So, the entrance into Enochian has begun for me. Maybe some shit can finally get done by my direction of it all.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Okay, full cycle adorations (LRVH Midnight, Morning, Afternoon, Evening; LotU AM and PM), QC, LBRP, QC … done. Visualization was okay until the west, where it became increasingly difficult to visualize/see the lines being drawn eyes shut. Simultaneously seeing pentagrams peripherally, and seeing the archangel sin their colors. Closing QC was better.

Will do BA/RR, MP, LIRP (Earth), IRH (Jupiter), Invoke Archangel, invoke Planet, state request.
Using Blue/Green candle and frankincense. Undressed, cat is ill and space is small.

Will try some advice recommended.

An interesting watch …

- YouTube

- YouTube

My apartment complex is on their bimonthly watch hunt, which this time is on noise complaints. So basically my rituals have to occur in the morning or early evening. Will have to be early morning. You wanted a quiet nights sleep neighbors, you got it!

Did 30 setups, 30 crunches. Given my rooms smell atm, refraining from more exercise tonight. Cleaning on the schedule tonight. Including bathtub laundry wash and hang dry a few outfits.

Good news via email, Kittys vitals mostly ok, big task is weight and fur management.
Going in for job interview 3pm tomorrow, from my other job unless I call off which I could do.
Got 30 cash as a gift from the vet tech, and 2 bucks from a customer last night, plus 40 I saved to pay for fronted weed (smoothed things over with him this morning).

Tarot reading:
How do I improve my finances/financial situations? - Celtic Cross

Significator - Four of Wands (Jupiter in Aries, Chesed of Atziluth), Victory, pure mercy and goodness, celebration.
Covers: Two of Wands (Sol in Aries, Chokmah of Atziluth), Dominion, surveying the world held in the hand.
Crosses: Six of Cups (Mercury in Taurus, Tiphareth of Briah), charity, good works, giving.
Crowns: Queen of Swords (Dont recall ruling signs, Binah of Yetzirah, Water of Air, A of EXARP), Stern but merciful force, quick and steady. Ruler of things air related from air and thought, but the wisdom of it.
Beneath: Knight of Wands (Dont recall the ruling sign, Tiphareth of Atziluth, T of BITOM), sudden and closing force, Air of Fire, a combustable or steady flame force.
Behind: King of Pentacles (Dont recall ruling signs, Chokmah of Assiah, A of NANTA), Stubborn, unmovable force. Man overseeing all earthly commerce. Fire of Earth.
Before: Knight of Pentacles (Dont recall ruling sign, Tiphareth of Assiah, Air of Earth, N of NANTA). A presenting force of things earthly.
Querent: Ten of Pentacles - Malkuth of Assiah, earth of Malkuth in particular, Mercury in Virgo - material wealth.
Environment: Nine of Cups, Yesod of Briah, Air of Water, Jupiter in Pisces. A man satisfied. Comfort.
Hopes and Fears: Five of Wands, Geburah of Atziluth, conflict and strife in other than earth ly realms.
Final Outcome: Page of Swords (Earth of Air, P of EXARP, Malkuth of Yetzirah, Sol in Gemini); a young man poised to fight, a sure and hurricane like force.

Top of Deck Page of Cups (Earth of Water, Malkuth of Briah, Mars in Pisces, A of HCOMA)
Bottom of Deck: King of Wands (Fire of Fire, Chokmah of Atziluth, I of BITOM) a volcanic force.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Time for a smoke break … might as well go pay the piper so to speak.
When I get back, time to review this diary of a madmand and all advice given.
It could be that my magick should work, that I may be doing things correctly (if not, tell me which layer and the operations I mixed order or out of order), but that I am bound useless by an entity. Like a monkey in the middle attack. In which case, I am honestly at a loss besides enflaming myself in prayer and evoking angels.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Awake in tthe midnight hours again … Silence, except for will do midnight and morning paired adorations shortly. Might as well do a LRP and MP as well.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Wedneesday 3/24/2022 (15=6, Beuty and harmony, balance). Ruling Planet: Jupiter. Color of the Day: Blue

Sleep/Dreams:

None/spotty and none.
The usual.

Moon phase:

Waning in Scorpio, good time to learn baneful magic, aim for the reproductive systems and nose simultaneously,

#Weather:
Getting nicer, still cold.

Mood:

Grouchy but trying to remain positive and helpful. Going to go 100% on my studies, speaking of which, need to register for classes.

Diet:

Eating better, still not at a four course meal level.

Exercise: Get off your ass and do:

30 Jumping Jacks
10 Situps
15 Pushups
30 Mountain Climbers
30 Burpees
10 Crunches
30 Deck Squats
I am increasing the count by ten until I get up and do them, in which case it drops back to 10 to train the will and stamina.

Physical notes: None. Usual growing pains and problems from not keeping up with responsibility of the body. Do need to shed probably 20 pounds and build muscle. Simply to feel good about myself, and no other reason.

Mental Notes: Some people aggravate me, yet I see myself in them, and they will experience what I experienced if they try to grate my nerves once. Shunned.
Construction people get on my nerves, as apes with a skill generally, some smarter, some actually dumber. Yet they feel they are gods gift to everyone and expect to be worshipped. Not something to glorify. You’re not exactly engineers guys, Its not their intelligence that annoys me, nor their ignorance, but their complete and total lack of sensitivity or manners. Im speaking strictly of the ones that grace my every workplace for some reason.

Adorations:
Morning adoration after midnight, at 4am.
Morning Lord of the Universe adoration.

Rituals:

QC/LBRP/QC

Still battling darkness in my mind, but forcing myself to see the lines and finished product, even mirrored in external perception out of the corner of my eyes, and seeing the colored robe of each archangel. Still feels unnecessary except a test to focus concentration on intent and will.

Tarot Contemplation Ritual: I The Magician. Mercury.

I noticed that the Magician is alone like other characters, but this one is also joined with eternity unlike most others. Yet he is getting his results by doing the work. Focused concentration.

Shem Angel of the Day:

Sitael. Angel against adversity.

Reading Resources and associated work there of:

Still in Christophers Earth material, but feel like I skipped reading in Neophyte, and words are put in a book for a reason. So back to Neophyte I go, read thoroughly, reflect, put into action. Record in offline journal and keep workings private. Practicing Silence exercises.

Novena

Private. Will experiment with Pumpkin Chai in relation to ideas as an oil, that of plenty harvest and spirit. Earthiness. Use with Green and white candles. Patchouli as incense.

Shem Working: Work through method in 72 Angels of Magic and lodge paper. Read and thoroughly understand before applying. And a robe and belt is probably required.

I think I will wear martial arts belts as my grey robe belt.

Mental note: Go out and buy a Green-White, solid Green, and Green-Black belts, as well as Brown-White, solid Brown and Brown-Black belts as alternate Earth Belts. White possible. Symbol of entry level in the belt system. Start with robe and white belt. The belts listed to buy were grades not obtained. If Im going to be a solitary Ninja again (self retrain in katas and fundamentals), then the belts will be necessary. Symbolism and recognition of element grade.
Mental note: Is it enough to use oils in the water cups, or is a diffuser necessary? Is oil necessary if candles are not being used?
Mental note: After creating the Enochian Tablet of Earth on cardstock, how to consecrate, charge and use, as well as open and close it properly?
[/quote]

Yeah, time to get the day going or sleep, one of the two.

[Nocte_ac_die]

A dream centering on Soomonic seals, their benefits and drawbacks. All I can recall.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Eve was a dumb girlie. Only in terms she was seduced by Samael, as a test of sorts.
Out of all the fruit in the garden you may freely eat, even the tree of life.
But you had to bite the apple.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Read and practice energy work and chakras today, as these are fundamental to magic.
Feeling dumb doing it but knowing some silly stuff has to be done to get somewhere, clapped my hands and rubbed them as if trying to be Mr Firestater, clapped again, and made fists, then slowly expanding and closing fist again, feeling the tingly energy, like static electricity but a much lower scale.
It is good to see that I recalled that I had a dream, it involved use of Solomonic pentacles as tools and gateways.
Thinking of using the Exile Key talisman to work with the summoning of angels/archangels.
Or, just follow the course and perhaps try it at a later time.
Chakras … last night, used a keyword for activation of the root chakra, seeing it red, spinning clockwise. Will try adding the Orange chakra right above and use that ones keyword, then the yellow, then green, then blue, then violet/indigo, then white. I think Om is the only keyword at the white chakra level.

So Christopher - Do all reading of neophyte material, make sure entire checklist has been done. Reconstruct Enochian Earth Tablet with proper shading and letter coloring, then do all Zelator reading and rtuals using the Earth tablet. Start planning construction of magical items.

Kuriakos, test all reading before use of chakras, then delve into chakra construction and energizing.

Astral Dynamics - Energy work.

OAA - all flame discourses up to use of chakras.

[crookedpathfinder]

@Nocte_ac_die

Eve was a dumb girlie.

I don’t necessarily agree with everything he says, but I think he’s got a pretty good take on the Genesis story overall.

- YouTube

Likewise, the rest of this lecture he did was pretty good too.

[Nocte_ac_die]

I slept a bit to get my mind awake, and no dreams recalled for the hour of sleep.
However, before sleeping I did die something else:
Drawing pentagram lines, intoning with each line a syllable - AH DO NY HA ARTZ
Drew Taurus symbol, intoned - ADONAI
Directly called archangels
Spoke as QC “For thou art, the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever amen.”

Having an Earth Tablet drawn makes it feel a bit more worthy, even as bad as the tablet may be drawn at the moment.
It leaves me feeling a lot better spiritually.

[MagnumOpus]

I cant understand what are you trying to achieve with magic. There are basic workings :
Spell, mantra, evocation→ Spiritual development and make things happen
Astral Projection→ Going other planes and realms
Divination → Seeing the future, conditions, hidden meanings etc.

This world and astral world is illusion, maya. You are divine being already, you dont need liber samekh, lapis lazuli, invoking the bornless one etc. These are just tools. Meditation is enough if you want to experience the true being.

You lost in the occult/esoteric mish mash I think.

" Osho : Rajen, there is no other life than this ordinary life. Because people are incapable of living this ordinary life, they invent esoteric things. These are the people who are incapable of living — they distract their minds and beings. All esoteric teachings and all hidden teachings and all those so-called mysteries are just mumbo-jumbo.

The mystery is here. The mystery is in the trees and in the rocks and in the birds. The mystery is in people — in you, in me. The mystery is in relating, the mystery is in singing, the mystery is in dancing, the mystery is in love, the mystery is in prayer. Avoid all that nonsense literature which goes on in the name of esotericism. It is pathological. These are the people who are incapable of tasting this life. They have to find some excuses, alibis, to avoid this life. They cannot enjoy, they cannot be passionately in it. They don’t have passion, they don’t have intensity of life, they don’t know how to live. They have forgotten all — how to be natural and spontaneous. Now they have to find some way to pretend that this life is not worth living, the grapes are sour — there are other grapes, hidden grapes, which only they know and their inner circle knows."

Osho on Esoteric Trips

[Nocte_ac_die]

Essentially, to rebuild a life worth having again, despite its illusionary nature, and to be a competent magician, to make a mountain move when I tell it to pop up. To commune with angels and demons in trying to understand their very creator. These are a few of my short-long term magical goals.

In the meantime, I have more mundane goals, and one is to work a book cover to cover. This I think is where it is exciting people the wrong way. This very mundane magical goal, to work it cover to cover is Kaballah, Magic, and the Great Work of Self Transformation. In the book, it utilizes standard GD/OTO implements, namely Enochian Tablets. Same as Self Intiaitian into the Golden Dawn Tradition. Until a formal Lodge initiation occurs, Im left as a solitary, and not the strongest one at that. I am still trying to understand to how I feel tingles when I clap my hands is doing something magical. This is first and foremost where Im lost, but working on it, as I am also working through another book to bridge the gap, A Complete Course In Magic. Short and to the point. Going back to the book by Christopher, I want to be performing the Zelator exercises, for this you need an earth tablet. I created one but its very rough, Im not sure if the spirits can be that anal retentive to be pissed off that Im using a rough draft. But so it goes, I get my ass kicked or dont and learn either way. This is in a nutshell what Im after, to rebuild my life which is a journey, not a week long ritual. This is long term but needs to be put together precisely.

I appreciate the advice and will use meditation for sure, and perhaps commune with nature, but this is first and foremost a will building process for me, a confidence building;ding process, flying a strong foundation for practice as opposed to the past. Many want to climb the Qlippoth, I want to try the other one first, so thats where my book being used comes in.

I know mediation works for me as a Qabalist, that as you go through the 231+ gates or prayer, many mystical /fortune cookie stories are meditated upon to open the gate. Indeed, the mystical path is lifelong. But so is the magical.

[Nocte_ac_die]

And I have the new job, starting tomorrow. This job pays weekly and is relatively simple, yet new to me, which means I will love it. Now to use this money wisely, getting myself out of the hole I dug for myself. And for savings for a future place.
Next goal now that the idea of housing has stabilized, education. Get all necessary info and enroll for next semester by end of the month, review courses and syllabi, download and study materials.
Then we review and see where we stand with the goals.
I think I will lookup the closest OTO and GD lodges and apply for initiation. If I were to go LHP, I would apply to Order of the Dragon Rouge, Temple of the Ascending Flame or Ordo of Typhonis (if I recall correctly); there is always the solitary path there as well using Kingdon of Falmes, Work of Darkness or even just OAA and Qabalah Qlippoth and Goetic Magic. But, I seem to be LHP with RHP leanings, so might as well explore this possibility.

[MagnumOpus]

All of these occult Kabbalistic qlipothic exercises need a minimum basic skills like evocation, calirvoyance etc. Can you do evocation ? Can you see “spirits” ? Are you sure about these ?

Maybe you just enjoy with these practices, but we should remember the one of the main purposes of magick : Creating change with will.
So, practicioner’s mental health, financial conditions must balanced, this is the proof of your power of magick.

Aim of first degree of some orders is just creating a healthy financial condition, for example. If practicioner is not grounded with this world, what is the difference between a mad person or new age charlatan and magician ? There are lots of charlatans, they are just trying to create cults, sell their books. If your religion (magical practices included that) exploit you, than there is not much difference between your practice and these exploiters.

My advice is healthy occultism, I want to goodness for you. This is why I’m repeating same things.

[Nocte_ac_die]

I appreciate it, I am working on myself, and will try to aim for balance all around.

[Nocte_ac_die]

People who use hard drugs often have such interesting stories … this one mentioned draconian and parasites, that parasites only affect mammals or warm blooded creatures, parasites largely do not mess with draconians. I dont know why we had this conversation, it felt like an abasement at one moment, but I had the point and realized the source.

[Nocte_ac_die]

Curious, so looking at Success Magic and the other Enochian magic books to see how they work their works. If there are simple rituals I can integrate that will make it more powerful but not making things too complicated or too much too soon.
Since Im up and awake, will read some Kuriakos and Christopher, and browse the enochian magic works. Had a slight nap but no dream activity recalled.
Thank you Raphael, for my kitty coming up to sleep at my feet for a bit. Less lethargic and more herself.

Magick That Works [Esoteric Saturdays]

[Nocte_ac_die]

Friday 3/25/2022 (16=7). Ruling Planet: Venus. Color of the Day: Green

Sleep/Dreams:

None/spotty and none.
The usual.

Moon phase/Transits:

Waning Crescent 47.4% in 7 deg Capricorn
Good time to learn baneful magic, aim for the reproductive systems and nose simultaneously,

Weather:

Weather Today in Ann Arbor, MI

31°Feels Like
High / Low 46°/30°
Wind 7 mph
Humidity 88%
Dew Point 33°
Pressure 29.72 in
UV Index 0 of 10
Visibility 9 mi
Moon Phase Last Quarter

Mood:

Diet:

Eating better, still not at a four course meal level.

Exercise: Get off your ass and do:

10 Jumping Jacks
10 Situps
10 Pushups
10 Mountain Climbers
10 Burpees
10 Crunches
10 Deck Squats
I am increasing the count by ten until I get up and do them, in which case it drops back to 10 to train the will and stamina.

Physical notes:

None. Usual growing pains and problems from not keeping up with responsibility of the body. Do need to shed probably 20 pounds and build muscle. Simply to feel good about myself, and no other reason.

Mental Notes:

Looking forward to the next month, to see after being able to pay rent again in a soonish fashion, and having money left over to do with what I will. 1/2 Temple Supplies, 1/4 back rent, 1/4 savings.
Within three months can be out of the fire and frying pan.

Adorations:

Morning adoration after midnight, at 6am.
Morning Lord of the Universe adoration.

Rituals:

QC/LBRP/QC
Still battling darkness in my mind, but forcing myself to see the lines and finished product, even mirrored in external perception out of the corner of my eyes, and seeing the colored robe of each archangel. Still feels unnecessary except a test to focus concentration on intent and will.

Tarot Contemplation Ritual: III The Empress. Venus. Creative Power.

Shem Angel of the Day:

#6 LELAHEL
His attribute is “Praise-worthy God”. He corresponds to Abgd, from the Ethiopian language. His ray begins from the 26th degree to 30th degree inclusive, corresponding to the third decade and to the angel called Asentacer. 1:40am to 2:00am. Ps 9:11 “Sing praises to the Lord, which dwelleth in Zion; declare among the people his doings.”
One invokes this angel to acquire knowledge and to cure illnesses, one should recite that psalm.

Orations

-HANIEL INVOCATION-

Friday- Day of Venus

• In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of YHVH TZAVAOTH , who governeth the sphere of Netzach and Venus, I call upon HANIEL , Grace of God, bringer of joy and warmth of the heart. Form us unto completion through integrity and responsibility and unselfishness as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Haniel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Venus. Rid me of vanity, overindulgence, and superficiality. Inspire me with love, compassion, sympathy, artistic expression, and provide me with healthy relationships; the means to maintain them, and the influence to facilitate them in others.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.

-TZAPHKIEL INVOCATION-

Saturday- Day of Saturn

• In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of YHVH ELOHIM , who governeth the sphere of Binah and Saturn, I call upon TZAPHKIEL , Contemplation of God, Archangel of spiritual strife against evil, and keeper of the Akashic records. Form us unto completion through silence, steadiness, and perseverance as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Tzaphkiel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Saturn. Rid me of inertia and self-destruction. Inspire me with patience, discipline, responsibility, wisdom of experience, meditation, and the proper management of all structure, limitations, and boundaries.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.

Reading Resources and associated work there of:

Still in Christophers Earth material, but feel like I skipped reading in Neophyte, and words are put in a book for a reason. So back to Neophyte I go, read thoroughly, reflect, put into action. Record in offline journal and keep workings private. Practicing Silence exercises.

Novena

Private. Will experiment with Pumpkin Chai in relation to ideas as an oil, that of plenty harvest and spirit. Earthiness. Use with Green and white candles. Patchouli as incense.

Shem Working:

Work through method in 72 Angels of Magic and lodge paper. Read and thoroughly understand before applying. And a robe and belt is probably required.

Mental note: Is it enough to use oils in the water cups, or is a diffuser necessary? Is oil necessary if candles are not being used?

Mental note: After creating the Enochian Tablet of Earth on cardstock, how to consecrate, charge and use, as well as open and close it properly?

Sigil Magick - Tutorial [Esoteric Saturdays]