Journal of Nocte ac die

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
161

MONDAY, 3/21/2022 (12=3 - Multiplication, reproduction, fertility). Ruling Planet: Luna. Color of the day: Silver

Sleep/Dreams:

Minimal, but at least I got some sleep as opposed to the night/morning before. No dreams recalled, no recall of any name symbol, dreamscape or the likes.

Moon/Transits:

Moon currently 87.5% Waning Gibbous in 12 degrees Scorpio

Moon: 87.5%

Waning Gibbous

Current Time: Mar 21, 2022 at 8:58:31 am
Moon Direction: 245.55° WSW↑
Moon Altitude: 3.77°
Moon Distance: 230,922 mi
Next New Moon: Apr 1, 2022, 2:24 am
Next Full Moon: Apr 16, 2022, 2:55 pm
Next Moonset: Today, 9:24 am

horoscope-chart8-700__radix_astroseek-21-3-2022_12-57
horoscope-chart8-700__radix_astroseek-21-3-2022_12-57700×1100 130 KB

Next full moon will be a Pink Supermoon in Scorpio
Current trine with Luna, Lilith and Saturn.

Weather:

Feels like 31°
High / Low 56°/33°
Wind 10 mph
Humidity 87%
Dew Point 35°
Pressure 30.01 in
UV Index 0 of 10
Visibility 10 m

Mood:

Dep High Anx High Mood Mid

Diet:

Tasty O’s cereal, pesto bismol and coffee.

Exercise:

20 Jumping Jacks
20 Situps
20 Pushups
20 Mountain Climbers
20 Burpees
20 Crunches
20 Deck Squats

Mental Notes:

Physical Notes:

Haven’t been doing exercise or laundry or my enochian board. Just had very little concentration or energy.

Adorations:

Liber Resh Vel Helios AM x APM x PM APM
Lord of the Universe. AM x PM

Rituals: (daily in order)

Tarot Contemplation Ritual - VIII Strength. Done.
Body Awareness/Controlled Breathing- Sore legs/ankles, slight sprains in low and middle back. Teeth. Done.
Empty Mind Meditation-
Relaxation Ritual- Doing
QC/Invoking Four Powers of Earth/QC- ADONAI HA-ARETZ, ADONAI.
Ascent into Cube of Space-
Rite of Elemental Equilibrium-
Rising on the Planes Exercise-
LRH, Venus invoking- YHVH EOLAH VE DAATH, [Sol] ARARITA.
Rite/Novena-
Middle Pillar Exercise-
QC/Banishing Four Powers of Earth/QC-

Invocations:

Oratory Prayer
-ORATORY OPENING-
​Angeli ad extra, Christus ad intra!

Supreme Architect of the Universe,
Grand Eternal One, under whose Sovereign rule all creation thrives,

by Thy Light shall every being shine.
Thou who art the true Supernal Brilliance of the Cosmos, “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

Oh Thou who dwellest on the Limitless Horizon,
keep far from me all evil passions and cleanse my heart.
In Thy glorious Light shall I dwell in Truth, Righteousness, and Peace, “For Thou art my lamp, Oh Lord; and the Lord will lighten my darkness.”

Unto all those who share in the Divine Devotion,
Lord, guide us with Love towards Virtue and purity of heart. “Behold how good and how pleasant it is to dwell together in unity.”

-ORATORY CLOSING-
In humble gratitude to the Infinite do I dedicate my devotions, and in whose endless glory does every heart rejoice,
In whose Name do I now close my sacred prayers.
As the rays of Light continually flow from Omneity, stretching to the confines of space,
from Crown to Kingdom and Kingdom to Crown,
and as all the stars and planets reflect the Light of the Sovereign,
so may I ever strive to reflect the Light of Wisdom that I receive. ​

Angeli ad extra, Christus ad intra!

Planet of Day- Sol
Planet Invocation:
THE INVOCATION OF THE SUN
"Indwelling Sun of Myself! Thou Fire! 0 six-fold star!

Initiator. Compassed about with force and fire! Sun-Lion- Serpent

Hail! All Hail! Breath of my Soul! Breath of my God! ADONAI! ABRAXAS! SABRIAM! These are thy names; begetter of all beings: Soul of all Souls!

High in the heavens you are fixed in the midst of the twelve great destinies of Man! On Earth you are Light itself! And the shadow of thine Oak is long upon the floor of the valley! Star-Serpent, you are extended upon Earth in LIFE, for you have wound yourself about the roots of the Oak, as ON surrounds AD. And the mystery of your sacrifice is revealed in the scream: AI! IHVH! EHEIEH!

"Innocent Babe! Seed most wise!
Inviolate Maid! Lord of the Skies!
0 thou Angel of God, arise thou in me!
Stretch forth thine arm and devour me, devour me!

Revolve thou, and whirl, wheel of life; Everborn!

Lead me through the gateway of night to the dawn!

For thy virtue is strong - of the Crook and the Flail! Lord of Spirit; of Light; of the Elements: Hail!

"Eternal One! 0 thou synthesis of duodecimal splendour: Thou the All-seeing; Illuminator of the pathway of Wisdom!

0 thou RA! AHA THOOR! TUM! KHEPRA! Descend upon us and Illuminate the beauty of existence!"

Planet Archangel prayer- -MICHAEL INVOCATION-
Sunday- Day of the Sun
+
In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of YHVH ELOAH VE-DA’ATH , who governeth the sphere of Tiphareth and Sol, I call upon MICHAEL , Who is Like God?, leader of the host of the celestial armies, prince of the first rank, protector of God’s children. Form us unto completion through integrity and devotion as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Michael, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Sol. Rid me of pride and arrogance. Inspire me with harmony, balance, peace, and strength of equilibrium in all my aspirations to succeed in discovering my true identity and purpose.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.

Shem Angel invocation-

Shem Angel of the Day:
2nd – JELIEL. His attribute is “Helpful God”. He rules over Turkey (these people give God the name of Aydy). His ray begins from the 6th degree until the 10th inclusive, corresponding to the influence of the angel called Asican (see the Sacred Calendar) and to the first decade. He presides over the following days: 21st March, 1st June, 12th August, 23rd October and 3rd January7.
One invokes this angel to calm popular sedition, and to obtain victory over those who would attack you unjustly. One must pronounce the request with the name of the angel and recite the 20th verse of Psalm 218: “But be thou not far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me” (Tu autem Domine ne elongaveris auxilium tuum a me ad defensionem meam conspice). The favourable hour begins at 12:20am up to 12:40am.
This angel rules over kings and princes, and keeps their subjects obedient; he has influence over the generation all beings which exist in the animal realms; he re- establishes peace between spouses and maintains conjugal fidelity. Those born under this influence have a cheerful spirit, agreeable and genteel manners; they are passionate in sex.

THE INVOCATION OF THE MOON

"The Moon waxes! The Moon waxes! The Moon Waxes! And behold, a mist lies on the face of the waters. This is the veil of Night and of Time and herein are contained the mysteries of virtue!

"A virgin dances upon a lake of tears, where nenuphars pallow the glory of the sunset! But herein, is there no joy? Is there no ecstasy? Verily, the waters that are upon the Earth are moved by Her joy; and the heavens cry out with Her gladness! And the shifting reflections of the starlight in Her eyes are met in the minds of men!

"0lambent flame of twilight song, bend upon us and fill our minds!

“Behold, the Moon stands in Her fbllness on the hilltop, and Maid and Wight lie entwined upon its slope. This is the first of the foothills where Diana and Priapus hold sway. For this is the place of the guardians of the ark of the mysteries of Silence!”
"A leopardess roams in a glade of lilies, tending to Her young and the little flowers. And the mysteries of Her generation are contained in the logarithmic spiralling of its limbs!

"The twenty-eight mansions of the Hermit are Her foundation, and Her blessing is manifest in the solitude of Spirit. And Her passion and her strength are met in the very souls of men!

"0lambent flame of twilight song, bend upon us and fill our minds! "

The Moon wanes! The Moon wanes! The Moon wanes! And behold, a stillness lies upon the face of the waters. For this is the design of fulfilment, and herein are contained the mysteries of Knowledge."

"A woman, old and wizened, sits upon an ivory throne; and the Knowledge of both sadness and joy is within Her mind and Her soul.

But therein is there calm and equilibrium. The Scale of Adjustment and correction is given to Her, and Her power is contained in the wealth of power of the mighty sword with which She is girt!

"0 lambent flame of twilight song, bend upon us and fill our minds!

"Lady of Night and of Eventide! First Guardian of the Higher Light! Mirror of Truth! Spouse of the Sun and Mistress of the Serpent Flame!

Illuminator of tranquil pathways and healing streams!

KHEP-RA! Eternal Scarab!

" 0 lambent flame of twilight song, bend upon us and fill our minds! "

-MICHAEL INVOCATION-

Sunday- Day of the Sun

In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of YHVH ELOAH VE-DA’ATH , who governeth the sphere of Tiphareth and Sol, I call upon MICHAEL , Who is Like God?, leader of the host of the celestial armies, prince of the first rank, protector of God’s children. Form us unto completion through integrity and devotion as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Michael, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Sol. Rid me of pride and arrogance. Inspire me with harmony, balance, peace, and strength of equilibrium in all my aspirations to succeed in discovering my true identity and purpose.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.

-GABRIEL INVOCATION-

Monday- Day of the Moon

In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of SHADDAI EL CHAI , who governeth the sphere of Yesod and Luna, I call upon GABRIEL , Strength of God, trumpeter of Judgement, and Angel of the Annunciation. Form us unto completion through trust and independence as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Gabriel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Luna. Rid me of idleness, fickleness, and delusion. Inspire me with true initiation through the discovery of personal strengths and weaknesses through introspection and reflection upon inner truths revealed from within.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.

Prayers- Lords Prayer/Prayer of David

Meditations

Peace meditation with white pillar candle- Done early this morning.
Meditation on Luna and Water glyphs, as well as Cancer and Pisces glyphs-
Meditation on point and line, salt cube-

Tarot:

Tarot Contemplation Ritual - VIII Strength
Split Hexagram Spread- tonight
Celtic Cross Spread- tonight

Psychic Testing:

LG5 -
GTT -
MCM -

162

Saw and heard a sign, a girl Ive talked to before was waiting at the bus stop, and started to do small talk, and asked if anything big went down since last time we talked, and she got excited and too dme her daughter won a couple beauty pageants.

Then during the bus ride saw this huge billboard that was blue with a sunflower.

I then said :Thank you Tzadkiel" quietly.

163

I just realized that magic is not evil, others the foundation of JCI would be evil. The three ago supporting Mary and Joseph, would have setup a foundation of evil if they were evil. Or Melchezidek, who pops up out of nowhere supporting the children of Israel with miracles and blessings. The twelve tribes describing the zodiac sign houses, etc.
Its not evil, because it has foundations of magic.
So thats my realization in this hour of the Sun, that and I should get up and do my adorations and LRP.

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164

Magick was never evil. It depends on how you use it and what for. Even when working with demons. You can kill someone or turn their life from shit to hit.

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165

Yep. It’s the same with everything not just magick it’s the use that makes it evil or good (in other words what ya do with it that counts).

So @Nocte_ac_die any further revelations to share today? I’d love to hear them.

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166

no new revelations. Just usual stuff I guess, trying to keep it positive and all.

Saw and heard a sign, a girl Ive talked to before was waiting at the bus stop, and started to do small talk, and asked if anything big went down since last time we talked, and she got excited and too dme her daughter won a couple beauty pageants.

Then during the bus ride saw this huge billboard that was blue with a sunflower.

I then said :Thank you Tzadkiel" quietly.

I think this was actually meant to be a journal post, but maybe it will help someone else. I can’t erase people perceptions of me without help, so just try to remain positive and let jerks be jerks (like the construction goldbrickers staying at the hotel while building the other hotel), other than that was a positive day.

Perhaps my revelation is angels do exist. Or my will works.
Also got a heads up about a new job possibility working with a friend.

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167

Spirits are funny. So truth be told, I dragged my feet on the Enochian Tablet, because I guess I want it to be perfect, and dont have a ruler.
So when my browser starts up, it pops up a window not touched that deals with Enoichian.

I swear to God its true.

Speaking of God, some people can’t understand, their eyes and minds blinded by trauma, in the temporal sense but under the impression its eternal. But they lose sight of the message behind it, much like a Grimms fairy tale, there is a point to any story,
The point is to live love, truth, compassion and kindness.
A Principled, value centered life. This is what every executive that follows Covey is supposed to do.

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168

And Im up wide awake at 3am. Okay, guess its time to do the Tablet without a ruler.

Due to lack of sleep and energy, no rituals done last night aside from the QC/LBRP/QC.

Im going back to forgetting about sexual possibilities. Dipping my feet back into it, nothing has changed on my side. Therefore, magic is my only relationship now.

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169

Fuck it, Im done offering my two cents to ungrateful people. Whatever, you do you. Im sure with popular consensus that I anti shit probably won’t be noticed.
Oh well. Might as well learn the law of silence, I guess I have.

Okay, calmed down, back to the enochian board. I found (oddly enough there it is waiting to be found) a piece of white cardstock among a few pieces, and colored cardstock paper.

Now to figure out the colorings chem and overall design, spacing for the letters and so on.

170

Tuesday 3/22/2022 )13=4, Order and sight). Ruling Planet: Mars. Color of the Day: Red/Scarlet.

Sleep/Dreams:

The usual.

Moon phase:

Waning in Scorpio, good time to learn baneful magic, aim for the reproductive systems and nose simultaneously,

#Weather:
Getting nicer, still cold.

Mood:

Grouchy but trying to remain positive and helpful. Going to go 100% on my studies, speaking of which, need to register for classes.

Diet:

Eating better, still not at a four course meal level.

Exercise: Get off your ass and do:

30 Jumping Jacks
30 Situps
30 Pushups
30 Mountain Climbers
30 Burpees
30 Crunches
30 Deck Squats
I am increasing the count by ten until I get up and do them, in which case it drops back to 10 to train the will and stamina.

Physical notes: None. Usual growing pains and problems from not keeping up with responsibility of the body. Do need to shed probably 20 pounds and build muscle. Simply to feel good about myself, and no other reason.

Mental Notes: Some people aggravate me, yet I see myself in them, and they will experience what I experienced if they try to grate my nerves once. Shunned.
Construction people get on my nerves, as apes with a skill generally, some smarter, some actually dumber. Yet they feel they are gods gift to everyone and expect to be worshipped. Not something to glorify. You’re not exactly engineers guys, Its not their intelligence that annoys me, nor their ignorance, but their complete and total lack of sensitivity or manners. Im speaking strictly of the ones that grace my every workplace for some reason.

Adorations:
Morning adoration after midnight, at 4am.
Morning Lord of the Universe adoration.

Rituals:

QC/LBRP/QC

Still battling darkness in my mind, but forcing myself to see the lines and finished product, even mirrored in external perception out of the corner of my eyes, and seeing the colored robe of each archangel. Still feels unnecessary except a test to focus concentration on intent and will.

Tarot Contemplation Ritual: I The Magician. Mercury.

I noticed that the Magician is alone like other characters, but this one is also joined with eternity unlike most others. Yet he is getting his results by doing the work. Focused concentration.

Shem Angel of the Day:

Sitael. Angel against adversity.

Reading Resources and associated work there of:

Still in Christophers Earth material, but feel like I skipped reading in Neophyte, and words are put in a book for a reason. So back to Neophyte I go, read thoroughly, reflect, put into action. Record in offline journal and keep workings private. Practicing Silence exercises.

Novena

Private. Will experiment with Pumpkin Chai in relation to ideas as an oil, that of plenty harvest and spirit. Earthiness. Use with Green and white candles. Patchouli as incense.

Shem Working: Work through method in 72 Angels of Magic and lodge paper. Read and thoroughly understand before applying. And a robe and belt is probably required.

I think I will wear martial arts belts as my grey robe belt.

Mental note: Go out and buy a Green-White, solid Green, and Green-Black belts, as well as Brown-White, solid Brown and Brown-Black belts as alternate Earth Belts. White possible. Symbol of entry level in the belt system. Start with robe and white belt. The belts listed to buy were grades not obtained. If Im going to be a solitary Ninja again (self retrain in katas and fundamentals), then the belts will be necessary. Symbolism and recognition of element grade.
Mental note: Is it enough to use oils in the water cups, or is a diffuser necessary? Is oil necessary if candles are not being used?
Mental note: After creating the Enochian Tablet of Earth on cardstock, how to consecrate, charge and use, as well as open and close it properly?

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171

"Using a compass and ruler, draw the sigil and the outside of the large rectangle first, in pencil. In the sigil, sketch the carefully planned equal-armed cross, as it is shown. On the edge of the rectangle, mark the points where the grid intersects it, and draw in the grid with ruler and pencil. Make sure that it is as perfect as you can muster, and don’t be afraid to start all over if your erasures are damaging the look of the tablet or if your measurements have errors.

Now paint the shaded areas of the grid black. Black is the main color of earth. It may require two coats to make the paint completely opaque. Paint the ring around the seal black as well. Paint the arms of the cross citrine (top), olive (right), black (bottom), and russet (left). These are the colors ofMalkuth in Briah, the World of Creation.

Next, use pencil to sketch in the appropriate letter for each square. Be sensitive to the space in the square, making sure that all of the letters look comfortable and of equal proportion.

Next, paint the letters in the following manner (notice how the tablet is divided like the Jerusalem Cross into four quadrants containing lesser crosses):

Portion ofTablet
Black squares, upper left quadrant Black squares, upper right
Black squares, lower left
Black squares, lower right
All the white squares in the tablet

Color ofLetters
Yellow (color of air)
Blue (color of water)
Green (a color of earth)
Red (color of fire)
Black (contrasting color of Spirit)

Clean up any stray marks by drawing in the grid lines with a high-quality black marker and a ruler. You can also retouch the squares with black paint to clean up any smudges from the colored letters. When your tablet is as perfect as you can make it, frame it."

So a small undertaking. I guess I need to visit OfficeMax or something of the likes, unless I find a ruler and compass elsewhere.

172

A great book is called Magic:Black and White by Carl Nagel. It looks like it was produced in the 1970s, but still solid incantations.

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173

I realize squinting isn’t supposed to be part of it, but when your eyes are closed, and you can’t see a light, try tightening your forehead by squinting.
That is how I was able to do my Qabalistic Cross rituals this morning. The LRP I had to force seeing the lines, and remembering the previous ones drawn are around me.
It got easier calling the archangels, seeing color dots peripherally as it were.
Ive noticed eyes open I can still see the drawn pentagram lines.
I have an idea for the dark recommended to me elsewhere to visually see it in the dark, by using a lit clear white votive candle. Interesting the color of the pentagram when drawing it with the white candle in the dark.
I have seen some versions where the sign of the enterer is done followed by the sign of silence, which I typically do not include.
The Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram is still a bear for me, knowing how to draw the lines. Its easy because its two triangles, but there are still other steps. The goal here is to get to planetary and zodiacal magic. This is the entry level step.

Tarot Divination (Split Hexagram Spread)

Greater Spiritual Influence: XX Judgement. Elemental Fire.
Lesser Spiritual Influence: XIV Temperance. Sagittarius.
Spiritual Advice: IX The Hermit. Virgo.

Unconscious Desires: XVIII The Moon. Pisces.
Conscious Desires: II The High Priestess. Luna.
Practical Advice: 0 The Fool. Elemental Air. Uranus.

Final Outcome: I The Magician. Mercury.

Top of Deck: III The Empress. Venus.

I believe what the spread is telling me, is that as Shin is the first path on the Pillar of Severity, that is the greater influence. Samekh, or Temperance, is from Luna to Tiphareth, the Middle Pillar, the Pillar of Mildness.
Practical Advice, however, points to the Pillar of Mercy, and at that, Chesed.
Thank you Tzadkiel!! :slight_smile:

Unconscious Desires, here we see The Moon, the first path on the Pillar of Mercy.
The High Priestess, again, from Tiphareth to Kether shows the Middle Pillar, the Pillar of Mildness.
But, Practical Advice says the Fool, again, the Pillar of Mercy, but Choikmah to Kether.

And in that, I gain I, Mercury, Beth, Binah to Kether.

And the Empress is the path over the abyss along with Gimel. Daleth and Gimel, that will be interesting.

It clearly shows purse the model of the Kircher Tree, and climb the Tree of Life. That is what will occur.

Yeah, I already screwed up the dimensions and lines, even the dots were jumping.
Yep, I will need a compass and ruler/TSquare when I get paid to continue attempting an Earth Tablet. Using Feral Scorcery, I will see what I can find, empty pill bottle for the top symbol of the Earth Tablet, and cereal box for a makeshift ruler. The columns might be scrweed, but the rows should be solid. Might work. I might as well fuck it up as close to perfection as possible, then see what I need to adjust. Using cut corner tarot cards was not a tasty option, though it is interesting to note on the sketch pad, four tarot cards side by side exactly fill the row. Not high enough for four cards though. Three maybe,

174

Started anyway, its not perfect, I expected it not to be perfect.

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Eleven minutes later … mostly done.

IMG_20220322_112914
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Do I have the paint required for this? Nope, lets go with watercolor pencil.

Do I want to do 40 exercises tomorrow morning? Or do I want to do 30 today and have them drop back down to 10 tomorrow? Then again, do I enjoy looking down and seeing nothing but my spare tire? Or my flabby sagging moobs? Do people respect me more upon sight of men, especially in shirts or pants that show my actual size and shape? Or is it laughter and disdain? Hopefully at least a mixture of the two. 40 it is.

175

Looked at 101 Curses. Had to drop my rage and think a minute, as there is no reversing them, unless a spirit intervenes. Plus who’s to say one isn’t their patron, this makes perfect sense to me now even thinking of that just now. I could get the return to sender at the least. That would not be pleasant.
Perhaps my best revenge is to continuing to work on myself, and my magick, and become competent in something, and paying my way rather than being a person acting through learned dependance.
That is the best revenge. Knowing they couldn’t handle what I went through first and foremost, then living well.

Then again, perhaps I should go ballistic on the person, they deserve it. They truly do.

Then again, the Pillars of Mildness and Mercy were shown to me in divination. RHP in other words. Or not necessarily, I could still do the middle and right pillars in there, on the Sitra Achra. And at some point, yes, I will probably engage myself in it, once my mind is unclouded and am able to restfully sleep and dream again.

Mundanely speaking

I will try to keep the Hotel Dinner Attendant job, but the FG job may be going away if the new job hires me. That would be helpful to me, will apply tonight and try to call tomorrow for an interview, otherwise next week in the mornings. Pancheros, the third job, went bye. I may pursue Speedway as well. They need my deli cafe help badly.
Classes. Register for classes. Get all necessary info and commit to it. Study hard and do well.
Certification - Security+. Network+, LPIC (Linux SysAdmin), AWS, Cloud. Look into pricing.
Art – Keep going.
Magick – Keep going. Climb the Tree of Life via path workings from Scrying The Tree of Life.
Pandie - Needs a groomer or vet appt to get the deep mats out that I can’t get out of her fur. Do healing on her.
Work – shower soon, get dressed, do your best and manage time and dishes well. Deal with the construction guys in a civil, professional, polite manner. You already run that show yourself, now show the professionalism. Its cold today which means colder tonight, dress appropriately, with hat and gloves. Hopefully this horseshoe is over in a week and people can start dressing in shorts.
Women and Sexuality – Well, they’re missing out. If they can drop the act, it would be worth their while is all this middle aged man can say. I may not have the stamina of a 20 year old, but plenty of personal experience, some slightly hardcore. All XXX though.
Im not the best catch these days, not to my own liking however. Hence the petition party. I should probably work on myself, be kind, and look and smell my best at all times, and dress sharp. Upgrade your life with or without them. Look into a trailer or condo or something for a house. Get a better job and dont quit climbing again. Use your experience to deal with troublesome young bucks including cursing. Let them experience my trials.

176

Dressed, showered cologned and ready for work.
Pretzel Bites and Pigs in Blankets night. And queso dip.
Lots of prep and cooking time.
Petted my kitty a bit, going over the Tablet colors in my head, with what watercolor pencil hues I have.
Do laundry and exercise before bed, then do Middle Pillar right before bed.

177

So, action plan on Temple Supplies. Half goes toward trips, and I spent seven, the seven of tips I had, as well as the other savings 7. So, with what I have, I will plan shopping at Dollar Tree and the Food Coop to get the herbs and spices and supplies for making oils, and make my own oils, if I can get ahold of all the ingredients. Black candles are near impossible to find in my town, at least last time I checked. So maybe try Black Arts oil ingredients and see what I can find.
I simply suck at saving money. I think I have guilt in earning my own money, maybe because Im seen as more fortunate, or suffering people exist everywhere. That was a great insight, and I bet it is solid.

Back to the Journal and off my thought train a minute

SAMAEL INVOCATION-

Tuesday- Day of Mars
+
In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of ELOHIM GIBOR , who governeth the sphere of Geburah and Mars, I call upon SAMAEL , Venom of God, the Archangel of Death. Form us unto completion through energy, courage, and loyalty as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Samael, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Mars. Rid me of impulsivity, cruelty, anger, and hate. Inspire me with proper motivation, assertiveness, vitality, the ability to calm my inner conflicts, and the endurance to overcome enemies both within and without.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.

Every time Im getting irritated, I need to come back to read and remind myself of this.

178

Practicing the Middle Path … A topic for me to dwell on tonight while working since I work solo.

179

The middle pillar is simply the equilibrium between those of mercy and severity.

Like a balanced scale.

I don’t see any reason to attribute the pillar of severity to the other side of sitra Achra.

Doing so creates an unbalanced view of the tree and misses the balance.

It just seems so neutered.

“Severity” is a dynamic, active principle at work all around us in one way or the other, and a part of this universe.

The scales may tip, but the balance will return when equilibrium is returned.

Every action has its reaction, and then a sum total or balance is concluded.

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Well, I didn’t dwell on the Middle Pillar, but thank you @crookedpathfinder :slight_smile:

What I did do is not try to get upset with the construction guys/drinking party. I just made plenty of food, anticipated them all raiding the food while I was in the kitchen. I wasn’t going to get shut down by these clowns, instead I did my job and kept my emotions and professionalism in check, even got tipped by one party! Thank you Khamael/Samuel/Samael of Geburah and Mars :slight_smile:

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