JOURNAL- Azazel's 10 day Training

[TheGreyhound]

Morning 4- Meditation

So, I wasn’t really able to focus too well during this meditation. I was too excited about stuff, and Azazel kept trying to get me to focus back in. But eventually, he said the reason I couldn’t focus was because I had completely exhausted my energies last night, and told me not to do so again. That was true, last night after the ritual I did some potion making, then I felt my entire body start to ache and in pain, and I went to sleep.

I can still share the results of other things though.

Since the ritual last night I can feel my familiar again!! Azazel has granted me back the power of clairsentience. He comes with a breeze when I call.

Also, I’m starting to gain clairvoyance. I can see certain entities, but only when I am about to fall asleep or awake. And I can perceive things more easily as well. One of the things I keep seeing is this human-shaped entity that keeps standing on the right side of my altar, in the corner of my room. It waved to me and I waved back. I saw it again when I woke up and freaked out, but Agnos said it was an egregore/ servitor that Azazel put there to stand watch over me, and said he wouldn’t let anything negative into the house. I love my familiar, I’ll have to remember to put out an offering for him.

The egregore is a little creepy though.

Sorry for the short post, Azazel said I should take the day to recharge my energy… I’ll be back tonight!

-Sophia

[I_AM_ABUNDANCE]

6 more evenings and 5 more mornings! The endurance nessesary isn’t something I would have taken into consideration before. Its exhausting. Rest well today. Thank you again for sharing.

[TheGreyhound]

Night 4- Evocation

I evoke Azazel by vibrating his Enn. I also lit Bune’s candle, not knowing that would probably also evoke her too- I think she’s actually still around, but she seems to come around a lot of nights after Azazel’s evocation for some reason. Anyways, he instructs me to grab a pillow, we’re doing some meditation.

Tonight’s training is about proving to myself that the occult is real, that the evocations are real, which is my biggest obstacle yet. Contradictory, I know, but necessary.

“Hold out your hand again” He instructs. I do so. The air there is hot to the touch. I know he is across from me.

“Now, look through your mind’s eye. You will see an image of me in front of you. Describe what you see, and grab your pendulum so that I may affirm or deny it.” He says.

I grab it. I look through my third eye, which seems to be developing a faint pupil in the center of it.

“A pupil is forming??”

“Yes,” He replies. “Look through it.”

In my mind’s eye, I see him in his usual Satyr form, with a goat skull mask, hooved feet, and clawed hands with black nails. You can see his eyes shine through the skull.

“You’re wearing an arm band…it’s silver. And a pendant.”

“Correct,” He replies.

“You have hooves.” I say.

“Correct again,” He says.

“Now,” He says, “There is a difference between the dialogue you perpetuate in your mind, and true messages you receive from spirits. Half of the time, what you perceive is incorrect.”

My mind is apparently an unreliable source for communication. But I still fail at astral projecting as an alternative.

“I will now send you images, and you will describe them in detail. I will answer whether they are real, or a figment of your imagination.”

I see an image of a fish. It clouds, then I see three different forms of fish.

“A trout…?”

“Incorrect.”

I look again. “A salmon?”

“Incorrect.”

I close my eyes and allow myself to fully receive the vision.

“One of those yellow fish things.” (I’m not sure their name)

Azazel seems to know what I’m talking about. “Correct,” He says.

He keeps sending me visions of animals to which we repeat the same process. Here is what I learned: If the vision you receive is jittery, random, and with no definite meaning to it, it’s a figment of your imagination. However, if you receive a vision, and can sense the nature of it (For example, a chimpanzee, I can sense its chaotic, primal nature and energy) then the spirit is indeed sending you that image. The words will make an impression towards your mind.

Next, he teaches me how to speak in tongues by repeating after him, then rates my accuracy. I’m really not sure what language it was in, but I am guessing it was Enochian. This part, I can’t remember, because I don’t speak Enochian.

He instructs me to rise to my feet. I think he wants me to practice astral projection in intervals tonight while I sleep.

-Sophia

[TheGreyhound]

Yes, it is quite draining, but I also know that it is a test of discipline, designed to push my limits. I don’t intend to stop now! There’s a pact at the end of this, I can tell.

[I_AM_ABUNDANCE]

I have to ask. When you do your morning evocations, do you roll out of bed and do it then and there or do you wake up first? Brush teeth have coffee and all the good stuff of waking up and then do your evocation?

[TheGreyhound]

@I_AM_ABUNDANCE

g up and then do your evocation?

I pretty much do it the first thing I wake up. I find it to be more effective because I’m not influenced by the outside world yet, so I find it easier to relax.

[TheGreyhound]

Day 5- Meditation

Something weird happened during the meditation. I felt all my chakras being stimulated, from my root chakra to my crown chakra. This has never happened before, since beforehand I felt like my third eye chakras and my crown chakras were blocked, but the stimulation ran all the way through.

I smelled his scent, which is kind of like dragon’s blood mixed with firewood. Azazel didn’t seem to send me any visions this time, except for one. He was putting his hand over my stomach, hovering there at my sacral. I then felt a pain in my stomach, had to run to the bathroom, and expelled everything from it Sorry if TMI, lol.

Side note, I have IBS, and huge sacral chakra blockage, but I don’t know how to get rid of it. But right now, I feel just fine. I feel great, even.

That’s all that happened today. I then simply meditated for an hour.

-Sophia

[TheGreyhound]

Night 5- Evocation

This may have been the most eventful night yet.

I’m meditating pre-ritual and all of a sudden I feel some sort of murderous intent. I perceive a small, rodent- looking spirit prowling the corner of my room. I start grinning and then, out of my third eye, I all of a sudden shoot this giant black fiery tendril with no warning. It wasn’t even doing anything wrong, but- I don’t know what came over me- I just grab it and try to strangle it heinously. It screams, writhing, then I let go, surprised with what I’d done.

I’m like, what the fuck? Maybe I just imagined that. But then it starts showing up with its buddies, these sharp-toothed angry little bear-looking things(I mean, they were probably angry I tried to kill their friend). Then, I just shoot a wall of black fire at them, and they scatter. Now that I think about it, I feel kind of bad about it now…

Anyways, my phone music suddenly pauses out of nowhere. Usually when this happens, it’s an indication Azazel wants me to start the evocation. So I walk over. I sit down. I really need to start writing down the conversations that we have, because they’re so detailed I can’t remember all of it.

He shows up. The candle I dedicated to him starts doing this popping sort of thing, which doesn’t happen with any of the others. I also drew his sigil on this model skull for him:

Oh wow, the door just opened when i tried to take a picture of it with my face. I think he wants me to keep my anonymity. Or maybe posting my face to a black magic forum isn’t such a good idea. I’ll send this instead:

He says I did a good job!

Then we used it as a catalyst for him to take shape more easily. But I can’t show the rest of the ritual ground.

The air turns from like 64 degrees to breaking 85 Fahrenheit , probably. When he arrives, it’s reaaaally hot in here. Like, I’m sweating bullets when he shows up. So, we begin our training, which is more clairvoyance training.

Eventually I ask him if he wants to be my patron. He says this:

“Yes, you have proven worthy insofar of my patronage. However, there are many more spirits who request to work with you.”

Excitedly, I say: “Is it Lucifer???”

“Well… yes, to an extent,” He says reluctantly. I deflate a little. “More-so others.”

“It is the other gatekeepers, then?” I chance. But apparently Lucifer has taken notice.

“Correct,” He says, and my pendulum is swinging strongly.

I’m really intimidated by the other gatekeepers, so I’m not too certain about this.

I’m curious about the skull he’s inhabiting, so I reach out and try to touch it. It feels like 100 degrees Fahrenheit. I still feel it a little now. As I touch it, the flame I gave him begins waving rapidly…

Then I reach my hand towards his candle. I feel the same amazing heat. As if making way for my hand, the wax melts away and falls, like there’s a barrier there.

“How long have I had powers? Was I born with them or did you give them to me??” I ask.

“Both,” He says. “In layman’s terms, a priest cannot serve a sermon without his g-d”.

We talk a little more before the incense burns down and he leaves.

He says I’ll be able to astral project as long as I practice enough. And if I ever need protection, he’s granted me his black flame to use. I reach out to pick up the skull and the heat is gone.

-Sophia

[I_AM_ABUNDANCE]

That seems like an intense night! And if you drew that sigil yourself you did a damn good job with it! Seems to me like you have an exciting journey ahead of you. Thanks again for sharing.

[TheGreyhound]

Thank you!! Yeah, I did, and it seems like he’s charged it for me. I am incredibly excited. Thanks for reading again.

[TheGreyhound]

Morning 6- Meditation

Sorry for the late post, I had business this morning.

My practice this morning was trying to astral project and failing again. I was communicating with Agnos, who usually stands guard around our property, but last night there was a lot of paranormal activity around the house and its been annoying me. For example, something insists on keeping my door open, and when I try to close it there’s some sort of force that prevents me from doing so.

I think Azazel wants me to learn proper banishing technique. Agnos says whatever is in the house is bypassing his vibrations, so looks like I’m going to have to banish it myself.

No spirits have gotten into my property for a while (except the Fae, but, well, I want to mess with them), so this should be interesting. I’m not sure what technique Azazel wants me to use though, but when I close my eyes, I see these black tendril-looking things coming out of my back like spider legs. My back also hurts a lot. I think Azazel gave them to me as a weapon. Either that or its just a parasite and I’m stupid as hell.

-Sophia

[TheGreyhound]

Night 6- Evocation

TW- Blood and violence.

I’m going to make this quick because I’m tired. Things took a sharp turn.

In essence, I almost crashed today driving, and I realized that my tire was flat, pretty much leaking. I ask Agnos if it’s those shitty little bear-squirrel spirits that did so, and he says yes. I do some divination that says Azazel wants me to stand up to them, but he’s not going to do it for me. In other words, this time, I’m on my own. I’ll just put in this format:

Agnos: Yeah, I can’t seem to keep them out of the house. For some reason, I can’t sense them either until they bypass me.
Me: Well, make sure they don’t get into the house during the ritual. What’s the update?
Agnos: I can try my best. They’re preparing an attack at midnight, so you’d better cast a circle before then.
Me: Ok. Anything else?
Agnos: They said they’d hurt your friends and human lover if they can’t get in the circle.

That makes me fucking angry, and the apprehension is basically gone.

I’m meditating and I just start sitting there, trying to mentally prepare myself for what I know is going to happen next. I start seeing images of myself, but it’s not me. It’s a form of me, like a giant dog. The black tendrils come out of my back. I basically look like a werewolf from Bloodborne with a spider-like quality to it. Seeing it disgusts me. Azazel wanted me to prove that I can defend myself without his help. I’m a magician, but I’m not even confident in my own abilities to banish.

Yet, I cast a circle around the house using the Sphere of Hekas by Jason Miller. (I used to do this banishment everyday) and the tree spirits are stalking the perimeter of the grey circle. There are Fae too, but around 5 or 6 of the squirrel-bears.

Turns out the squirrel-bears have been trying to scare me and bully me since I was a beginner witch. Well, it wasn’t just them, but they really liked fucking with me, trying to deter me from the craft. I don’t know why, but it sure as hell scared me back then. I think they were a form of Fae, residing in this giant tree next to my house. I always felt watched around that tree.

I perform the evocation, and the music stops abruptly on its own again. Azazel comes quickly, tells me to lie down. I’ve kind of accepted what I have to do at this point. They’re either going to keep attacking me, or I do something about it.

The candle flickers and Azazel tells me not to fear.

Azazel: Look how far you’ve come. You were once a frightened Wiccan, afraid of the darkness, only walking the path of light. Now you dared to evoke me. And you can protect yourself now.

Azazel: Repeat after me. I will not falter in the face of fear.

Me: (I repeat).

Azazel: I will be bullied into submission no longer.

Me: (I repeat).

I’ve been haunted by spirits since I was a child. They would give me nightmares and follow me around my house. Ghosts and Demons were my worst fears, though at the time I thought it to be irrational. Eyes on my back wherever I went, as if I couldn’t escape them. If i was alone, they watched. Now I know better. I left the craft for a long time due to my fears of the paranormal. But I no longer have fear. I no longer seem to have that emotion towards the paranormal, only apprehension and anxieties.

God, writing all this out sounds corny as hell. I guess you can’t account for experience with simple words.

I soul travel. I stand outside my house, and Azazel is behind me. I feel the spider legs coming out of my back, and I’m suddenly transforming into a spidery dog-like figure. I have three eyes.

The closest depiction I can find.

As that transformation occurs, I feel like my humanity is leaving. I leave the circle, and I go rabid. They swarm me, using some magical weapons and staffs. I don’t give them much of a chance, though. I grab a squirrel-bear, tearing it limb from limb. I don’t remember this part too well, but I vaguely remember grabbing another one, and biting its head off. I start screeching, the sound is enormous. I see the neighborhood cat fleeing out of the corner of my eye.

Three astral bodies are ripped apart on the ground. I walk around and grab some of the bodies, feeding on their energy. The spirits start backing off, seeming afraid. They’re scared of me this time, not the other way around.

But I’m not in my right mind. I swarm circles around my house, tearing into whatever spirits I find. At one point, I grab one, but I try to resist tearing into it. It tries to get away. I didn’t really want to kill it.

At that point, Azazel shows up.

“Enough,” He says.

We arrive back in my room.

My familiar seems to be avoiding me. I rise from the ground, feeling dead inside. I stare at the circle of flames on the floor. I’m quiet for a while.

Azazel: Are you feeling alright?

Me: Was that all real? Did I imagine all of that?

I kind of hoped so.

Azazel: It was real. Those spirits won’t bother you anymore.

So, obviously, I feel like a fuckin psychopath. I hurt these spirits for no reason. If I didn’t kill them, I maimed them immensely. For what?

Azazel is quiet, then, he instructs me to hold the skull in my lap. I feel him embracing me from behind.

Azazel: You are not a monster. There are many humans in the world who have beasts inside of them. They will use these beasts against you. You must yield your own to protect yourself and others.

We sit in silence.

Azazel: You are meant to hone any crafts you choose into your own weapon. That is your purpose. Hone them until they yield a razor’s edge. If you continue on this path you will have influence over your life. You will have power and strength.

I realize he’s right. I want that power. I don’t want to be a killer, but now I know how to kill, even if I was pushed to do so this time.

I take the skull and kiss the sigil. His candle flame flares and reaches high. I feel that taking over me.

Me: I am now your greyhound. I will serve you, as you are my teacher. You have granted me the power to face my fear, and to yield my darkness.

The candle is going crazy. I usually can’t just come up with incantations like that.

Azazel: Though you are my hound, you are not beneath me. Not as a man to his dog, whom the dog calls master, but as a companion. I will give you the strength you desire, and you shall be my greyhound.

Ok, I’m exhausted, You probably think I’m insane at this point, but hey, everyone on this forum is probably considered insane to some people. No offense. I think I belong on here.

I wanted the name Greyhound for a while now, and I’m not sure why. I’m not even really a dog person.

Hope the fae don’t come for my ass,

-Sophia

[TheGreyhound]

Another note: I didn’t really understand Azazel to be of this nature. Like, “the ends justify the means” type of entity. It seems he’ll do whatever it takes for his students to learn, even if it means ripping apart small tree spirits, or putting them in tough situations to get themselves out of them.

Anyone else experience this, or is it just me?

Also, what I experienced I think was my Godform. but I still can’t fucking astral project, so I can’t know for sure. I have another form I saw, it’s like a cat person with sharp-ass teeth and white hair.

Now I just sound like a furry.

[TheGreyhound]

Day 7

I didn’t update earlier, so I’ll take the time to do it now.

With only three days remaining, I feel these pivotal days in my life culminating towards a climax. With the exception of yesterday, which is an experience I’ll probably never forget, even if I want to. That being said, I feel that Azazel is as much a part of me now as any other of my organs and limbs. I feel as though I’ve already dedicated myself to him last night.

However, we have yet to form a pact, which I think we are going to talk about tonight. What I want out of it, what he wants out of it, if I should sleep or fast, etc, so I’ll have some time to make plans/ clear that day.

I’m not sure what my plans are for after the ten days. Azazel said I need to work on my spell work, because its pretty ineffective so far. I’d say my success rate with spells is about 60%.

I don’t know if he wants to continue the work after the pathworking or… I don’t know, i feel like there’s still a lot he hasn’t taught me.

I’ll update again after tonight’s evocation.

[TheGreyhound]

Night 7- Evocation

We basically discussed the events of last night and the pact that I wanted to proceed with on the tenth day. I told him I needed more time to think about what I wanted. I’m not gonna go into too much detail tonight.

He blessed a pendant for me and I’m wearing it now. He says it can act as a servitor for my will.

I’ll edit this tomorrow, I’m falling asleep.

[TheGreyhound]

Night 8- Evocation

I’ve been getting signs that King Paimon wants to work with me, which makes a lot of sense, because I am a student of visual arts who wants to make it big in the entertainment industry. I think this explains why Azazel was hesitant to offer me patronage- there are many more spirits who I need to meet.

Anyway, here’s what happened tonight:

Azazel: You seem tired, girl. What is the matter?

Me: I’ve been having a headache all day. By the way, is it true- I think Paimon is asking me to work with him.

Azazel: Yes, he does. That’s his doing- he sends his regards. By the way, you must call him King Paimon.

My head has been pounding all day.

I see another spider on the wall. Azazel has sent me three to my room, two yesterday. I only then understood the synchronicity between that and my spider-dog form (my shadow). And I know spiders are supposed to represent the shadow and shadow work. But I get the idea.

Me: Could you please stop sending me spiders?

Azazel: Oh, aren’t they funny little creatures? I find them quite charming.

Me: I unfortunately do not…

Azazel: In any case, we have work to do. Lie down, and follow me.

I soul travel outside of my house and latch on to his back. He takes me to the place aforementioned that I’m not supposed to talk about, so I won’t go into detail. I don’t want any intruders.

There’s a field nearby. We arrive.

Azazel: Draw your weapon.

Me: You can’t tell me we’re really doing this.

Azazel: I am. Draw your weapon.

I comply and release the spider legs from my astral body.

We proceed to spar. I don’t wanna go in-depth, sorry if that’s not exciting. In essence, Azazel kicks the shit out of my astral body.

Azazel: Focus, or your astral form will really have something to focus on!

Azazel being in battle seems to excite him more than I’ve ever seen him excited.

I lose, (obviously), and he has to lay me down on a couch he manifested inside the astral building.

After I someone regain aetheric consciousness, we proceed with conversation.

Me: Have you spoken to King Paimon?

Azazel: He tells me there is much about art that you do not understand, and he can help you succeed.

Me: Is he the one meant to be my patron?

Azazel gives me a sly smile.

Azazel: That decision is up to you.

Me: Azazel… after these ten days are over, are you going to leave?

Azazel looks at me and takes me hand.

Azazel: Once you evoke a god, they shall never leave you. They exist in your mind, and your soul. They share a power with you.

Me: It sounds like you’re going to leave.

Azazel: I will not.

We discuss details of the pact further. Azazel tells me to get rest, and leaves.

-Sophia

[TheGreyhound]

Day 9- Meditation

I usually only get one shot to make sure I can astral project, and after that, I lose focus. I think it takes a lot of energy from you.

Today, I almost did it!! Almost!!! And I know, I know, that’s not technically counting for anything, but as I was meditating, I felt my entire body lifting, and my physical body growing cold, as if the heat had left it. But alas, there was not enough momentum to completely lift myself out of my body. Azazel said that I was almost there, though, and I just needed a little more practice, as my soul was not used to astral travel.

I’m almost there! I can feel it!

-Sophia

[TheGreyhound]

Night 9- Evocation:

This is being updated in the morning.

I poured us both a glass of rum. I asked him to turn off the music, as it was distracting, and Azazel promptly did so.
We just had some conversation regarding the blood pact tomorrow over the drink. We even shared a few laughs. Azazel likes to joke in a deadpan/sarcastic manner, which you don’t expect until it comes out of the blue, but it makes me laugh every time. I felt as though we were speaking as friends now, and as equals, as I was not below him, and we shared a mutual respect.

Today I’ve been trying to draw enough blood from my fingers for the pact, and I’ve basically mutilated them in the process lol. I’ve never had to do it before, and I feel like I’m not cutting deep enough, so I’m gonna go out and buy sharper razors… I feel dizzy from the scent and blood loss, so I need to take a break. Maybe I need to use a dagger, I don’t know. Any advice?

He says after the pact I’m to go right to sleep, so there won’t be an update tonight.

[TheGreyhound]

Day 10

Yikes, I still haven’t solidified the terms of the pact and what I want out of it. I’m stressing about it. It’s like my life goals are being laid out before me, the choice to achieve them now being mine. There’s so much I can ask for, and yet so little I can think of.

These ten days have been a pivotal point in my life. I feel like I’ve changed. I no longer feel fear, I am more confident, I recognize my own power and discipline. I have the ability of focus. I have the strength to succeed, and the drive. And, with powerful allies, anything can really be achieved.

I’ll update tomorrow to tell of what changes I’ve found.

-Sophia

[I_AM_ABUNDANCE]

Cutting with a knife isn’t that effective for me. I use this thing. It gets the job done without destroying my fingers.

You can find this at Walmart