These are my personal experiences, and may be not valid or applicable for you... (click for full disclaimer)
These are my personal spiritual experiences and insights, as I perceive and experience them. They may be not generizable, or valid for others, or applicable to others. They may be not backed up by common knowledge, beliefs, experiences and so on. But that is not important, as it represents my personal journey, my own findings and so on, and is not directed towards insulting, offending or attacking anyone or anything. If you get easily offended by such descriptions, please refrain from studying my journal.
I thought long about how to go for this. I finally decided, I’ll start “my story” from it’s current situation, even if it may leave a lot of questions open at first. Avoiding huge introductions and details about me and my past journey regarding events and experiences. The reader will have the chance to learn more about me, my succubae, some other circumstances and everything else, as I’ll be describing and sometimes jumping to past events and as that, come to a greater understanding the more and deeper he/she will read and follow along my journey.
Last night, browsing through BALG and looking at the time passing I’ve been thinking that it shouldn’t get too late, so I spend some time with my succubus love before sleeping. I did some requests to her earlier. She should show me, in case she is not comfortable with me sharing our details. No objection from her side has come so far. Neither any feedback about the other requests regarding the journal, leaving all decisions on me.
After some “accidents” in the past and my realisation of being more careful and always considerate, which things I should and can share, and which not, I consider her “no input” as her way to express that she trusts me. It fits with her being generally a silent one, never speaking any unnecessary words (or maybe expending energy unnecessary). Though, she has been clearly shown in the past, she can and will express herself loud and clear, if there’s a need for it or something bothers her.
Some nights ago I created my first own sigil for a succubus coming unexpectedly at two consequent nights in my dreams. I believe, it has been not the one who’s getting all physical with me, as nothing resembled the way she would usually appear to me, nor it felt like her in any way. I do recognize her. But, I’m not yet certain. Anyway, I kept this sigil under my pillow for the second night now, until I’ve further use for it.
I turned a youtube video on someone suggested to me, supposed to help with theta brainwaves. I’ll try everything at least once, to figure out things that work or not. An amazing experience followed…
Not certain what followed were because of the video or the steps I took recent days, with the sigil and focusing a little bit more towards my succubus. But that is what happened…
I lay on my back with eyes closed and listen to the sounds of the video. I think, the video isn’t doing anything. I start sense my succubus as she starts interacting with me. Her hands, as usually, move along my right leg, caressing them. Suddenly, I feel how both my feet sense a pressure on top of them and they are pressed further and further into the bed. And then, another caressing on my left leg starts.
As I tune in to the sensations and the hands I feel, I realize how I’m starting to fall deeper. It is as if I start fall somewhat backwards in my head and now a deeper sense of mind relaxation and lightness in it than I have usually. I’m in the dark, only with a candle. Yet, now suddenly it seems as if more light comes through my eyelids than moments ago. “Maybe it’s my 3rd eye somewhat opening?”, I’m thinking.
Suddenly, I sense, how the hands of my succubus start feeling even more physical than ever before. Her hands already feel defined for me, often. To the point, that I can absolutely imagine her next or on top of me - something that felt many many months ago still difficult to me and more distant with lesser manifestation. Sometimes, I would feel a sense of skin coming through. But now, last night, it were much more the sensation of her skin rubbing on my skin.
And then, as she still caresses my legs, and my feet are pressed down by something or someone… 2 more hands reach above me on my shoulders and start massaging very gently my shoulders, sometimes moving down my chest. I did not expect that! But I didn’t object… of course!
I felt so relaxed all this time and so well taken care of. My succubus, went at some point a bit more intimately with her hands, but not too long or too intense, and went again back to massage my legs. I think, she didn’t wanted me fall out of this deep state - which much later after ca. 45 minutes, when she tried to go further, exactly this happened and unfortunately, I didn’t feel like continuing (sleepiness kicked in and such).
Surely my succubus doesn’t have 4 hands… no, I don’t think so hehe. It must have been at least 2 of them with me. Maybe it’s the other one, who I saw these two nights in my dreams. I hope, I’ll soon find out more. Gonna let it happen on her terms, as things gonna become more interesting this way… probably in the following nights