I think that’s a pull toward parsimony, ie. it’s a complex view to hold and it probably takes a fair amount of processing - which is expensive, especially if it involves not doing fast-track things that a pure materialist might do or taking up exercises that seem like they yield little return on investment.
I never felt that pull to write off really unignorable experiences in my memory banks more than when I was still holding the popular white light Victorian New Thought flavored idea of this stuff that being a good little boy is what makes the Cosmic or my HGA pleased in me just to then walk out my front door and see that people hated each other and by the same token hated me (and the idea that these are just ‘benighted souls’ starts to break down if those people started crushing me in survival games because I hadn’t been practicing that skill set). Part of why I’ve done so much digging I suppose was that I’ve wanted to lower the cognitive dissonance cost and have a foundation I can keep for the rest of my life, even if that means regrouping and starting small again.