Hi everyone. My given name is MacKenzie, but I think I want to go by Quinn (my middle name) in magickal circles. I’m a 24 year old trans girl. Stuck in rural Utah for the moment, but making plans to move to Colorado. You may be interested to know that I’m a revolutionary anarchist-communist, and that I 100% agree with all your criticisms of liberals (albeit coming from the other side, hehe).
So… not quite sure where to start. Well, I’m a demon, but let me back up. I grew up in a extremist, fundamentalist christian cult (the mormons, if you’re curious). I’m also a domestic abuse survivor; that’ll be relevant later. After breaking out of that cult I became an atheist for a while. But during a prolonged health crisis, I found myself needing a spiritual support system to, well, avert suicide, and something drew me to witchcraft. I’ve been practicing for about 9 months now, at first with the typical Wicca bullshit, but even then I felt an inexplicable pull to the left-hand path. Just didn’t know how to start practicing it safely. I eventually stumbled into the otherkin community. Now, there’s a lot of people in that community who are doing it to feel like they belong, or as a coping mechanism (not that there’s anything wrong with those things); there are also people there who are the real deal.
Two of those people in particular have had a significant impact on me so far. One of them, who I’ll call S, is a love interest of mine. He so happens to have a demon trapped in his head who we’ll call D. D and I hit it off poorly (I disliked him so much that I tortured him 13 times, and he took it out on his host). But we eventually realized that we had misjudged each other, made up, and started a working relationship. I was later instrumental in freeing him from his imprisonment inside his host. Now, up to this point, I was aware that I had a mental block over the abuse that had happened, which I chalked up to PTSD. D, however could see some of what was behind the block, and told me at my insistence (I had to threaten him with bodily harm).
From what D said (and I believe him), my abusive biological father is not human. He is a type of demon called a Gluttonous (still unclear on exactly what that is; he described it as “like an incubus but worse”). By extension, that would make me some sort of half-demon. He wasn’t able to see all the details of what happened to me, only the “lighter stuff”, and even that was horrendous. Ritual abuse, rape, beatings, the death of a brother I didn’t know I had. He also revealed that the block I have over those memories isn’t PTSD-induced. I was a child sorcerer, and as a defense mechanism against the horrible things done to me, I sealed those memories (including my knowledge of magick) away, and infused that seal with a great portion of my magickal potential. He was able to restore that lost potential to me, and I’ve been working with other demons to dismantle the seal entirely.
The other significant person I met through the otherkin community is an incarnate succubus named G. G reached out to me because I seemed serious about being what I claimed to be, as a half-demon. She shared her knowledge with me, and also introduced me to a demon named O. I ended up making a Contract with O, D, and Lucifer to make me into a kind of experiment demon, combining attributes from different types of demons into a unique hybrid. I’m currently in the middle of undergoing that process. It is both physically agonizing and a disconcerting mental trip (you try having your entire ethical foundation rewritten under you). As part of that I’ve become vampiric: sanguinary, psychic, and soul. One other notable trait that I’ve received courtesy of Luci is that I’m now also a Wendigo. That’s a very recent change, so I’m still coming to terms with exactly what that means for me.
In terms of my practice, I’m still very much throwing things at the wall to see what works. I think because of my literal demon blood, I work differently than a lot of people. My magick relies on intensive use of personal power. Ceremonial or ritual magick feels… wrong, for me personally. I get the best results by getting a clear idea of what I want to have happen, and then improvising a “ritual” using personal power that instinctively makes sense for me. My main interests right now are blood sorcery and necromancy. On an interesting tangent, I opened a Portal over my altar by accident (mostly) the first time I bled myself on it. Three Disincarnates came through and are presently haunting my apartment, though I allow their presence.
That pretty much summarizes where I am now. Although bearing in mind that most of the above events happened over the course of the last 2 months, I’m sure the roller coaster ride is far from done. I am open to private messages; in fact, I would encourage you to message me, especially if you have any questions, or if you have any insights to offer me.
Welcome.