Your magick name: Natasha Despoina
Photos if you’re comfortable:
Kinds of magick you like: I don’t know any magick. I am new to everything and here to learn. But after studying and walking on a leftward path the past few months and dealing with things I didn’t know existed and people who are barely able to call themselves people anymore, and walking and exploring alone, I was…visited and recognized two nights back by someone divinely feminine. The sheer awesome righteousnessas (as those words apply to the Almighty) if I am slightly better able to understand what it was like for these beings to have been in God’s presence and favor, and (again, slightly) more understanding of how devastating the fall was. The experience is still hard for me to comprehend, but I feel lifted and on a definite path towards enlightenment, as both east and west define the term.
Tl;dr that section: With that in mind, I would like magick that focuses and channels Her energy, and that would honor Her independent traits. Protection and invisibility from those that would disrupt my life or the lives of those around me, which includes being protected from those who may have good intentions (family) or took an oath to be on the side of good (police) but are way too often ignorant of the power they hold over people’s lives when they come after them for a non-public matter and throw them into the system.
Current ambitions: Continue receiving Lilith and her energy and wisdom. To conquer my sexual limitations. To find a partner as willing to push boundaries as I am, a person who we can nudge each other to jump into whatever we’re trying to face down. To explore the concepts of temptation, corruption, and transformation in both myself and others; being around them when they are facing something tempting or something they have been curious about. Give them whatever facts I know, but not just the bad like most people do. I would talk up the good. The pleasure. And it is their choice whether they want to experience it or not. And remain silent so they only have thier thoughts. Watch them as they struggle, argue, justify, and give in…and if they do, I’ll make sure they can get as much as they want, well into their addiction before letting them deal with those sinful things in the real world.
Current struggles: I am a trans woman. I started my transition a few years ago. About a year or so into it, I had a choice to make between continuing my transition or this other thing. I chose the other. I don’t regret it, and I will always believe it was a right decision, but I have since lost most of the progress I had made. I am 6 years older now, and it gets both harder and easier to justify every year. I wish to start up my transition. I wish to get over hangups I have about getting with some of the guys that find me and try to chat me up. I wish that I could focus on getting on a specific medication that would alleviate a lot of my fears about getting with guys (sorry for the code, I don’t want a type of predator to keyword search and see this). I want to be able to fully embrace the feminine, and while it is by far my dominant side, be able to find balance between it and the masculine.