LONG POST AHEAD
Over the course of my life I’ve been indoctrinated with the belief that “Demons” are “evil” and “Angel’s” are “good”. My family has had a long and complicated history, of paranormal and what some may call “Divine” or “supernatural” interventions, it started to happen to me, when I was a child (about five or six years old).
I had dreams of an unintelligible figure shrouded in darkness, watching over me (often times, in the beginning, I would try and communicate with this being). Everytime I would acknowledge “It” or “Him”, I felt a heavy weight over my entire being (on what I now perceived to be an astral form) and in this “dream” I never felt afraid, just weary of the current situation (due to the deep connection I felt everytime we would interact).
It wasn’t long after that, this same figure would visit me at night (physical manifestations) in my early teens. Standing or hovering just at the edge of my bed. Slowly over the course of a few years, “His” form would become more defined and detailed (in an unwelcomed and terrifying way). These encounters through out my home would increase / intensify and I thought I was going MAD!
It wasn’t until I was face to face with this entity (“It” / “Him” on top of my chest, breathing the same life essence as myself), that I felt an unnerving fear and bewilderment of emotions towards these encounters, for I was unable to react in any physical or mental form.
I stared into the face of this being, for what seemed like hours on end. I felt as though I was staring into, what I would best describe as, the void, totally vacant but at the same time filled with unintelligible amounts of knowledge, I could not and cannot (yet) understand.
It wasn’t until I was in my mid to late teens, that these manifestations or meetings would become more and more frequent / visceral. At nineteen the dreams came to a halt.
please note
Up unto this point I have never had any psychic or verbal communication with this entity. (To the best of my knowledge).
Fast Track
I had just turned 21 and after a few years of not having any encounters I had almost forgotten about the years prior. Knocking it up to anxiety or depression, perhaps some other kind of mental obscurity.
BUT, to much of my excitement and trepidations, we met again (under the influence of natural hallucinations), this time at what is best described as the gates or precipice of “Hell” and it was the first time I had heard this entity speak. He told that he was my “Guardian Angel” and that he was here for the purpose of preparing me for a journey of “Self-Enlightenment” and “Rediscovery” (shocked and slightly afraid, I journeyed with him silently).
This time around, he no longer had the form(s) in which he had previously shown to me, (which was that of, twisted, gnarled and broken or a vague indistinguishable darkness).
He appeared as a dark figure cloaked in a tattered shroud and bound by chains that have been long broken (although never revealing the face beneath the darkness).
Over the course of several nights this entity and I would traverse the inner layers of what I perceived to be “Hell”. After my third night I had many questions, but limited my self to one.
I asked “Who are you?”
For the first time ever, I got a direct answer, He responded,
“Azazel, Keeper of the Gate and your Guardian”. Since this dream I have yet to have another.
It wasn’t until now that I met another entity (name and origin unknown). She appeared as a beutiful older African woman, with eyes as bright and orange as the Sun.
The dream started with me being taken through a deserted swamp or bayou, I can still smell / taste the enviorment and life around me as I write this.
The Ferryman brought me to an elaborate wooden home in the middle of the bayou / swamp with nothing and no one around it.
Her and I, we had a discussion of life, death and the journey that is to come. Unfortunately, I did not write the details down in time to remember all the specifics of our conversation.
She did however, mention the name of the deity that claimed to be my “Guardian” and then informed it was time for me to “leave her domain and travel back to my plane of existence” before my time ran “thin”. The last thing this entity / “She” told me is, “We’ll meet again soon”.
After this encounter, I was looking for anything that would give me some kind of lead or starting point for developing an answer to a life long list of questions.
Then, I stumbled upon Become A Living God and their publications. I have done thorough research and from what I’ve seen, all (majority) of the grimoires, text books, doctrines, etc. Involve binding these entities / spirits to the practitioner with the powers of celestial or “Divine” beings. I do not believe this is what is intended as my path and I refute the idea of further indoctrinateing myself to the false and common beliefs of the modern age.
I’ve purchased several books from BALG, looking for guidance, to obtain the information I seek about questions and answers on my journey. As I wait their arrival, I ask anyone with the “true and accurate” knowledge to aid me on my path of “Self-Enlightenment and Rediscovery”.
If anyone has advice or ways of furthering self development along this path…
Your ideas, suggestions and comments are immensely and truly appreciated!
If you’ve taken the time to read this in its entirety, thank you and may the blessings of those you seek, be with you.
C.A.