I really like that top one. I like both, but really like the top one. This was mom’s thing you did with her that one time right, is she proud of you for falling in love with it? It seems like a good… stress reliever for you to be creating.
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Yeah, we send each other pictures of what we create. Except for the ones with sigils. I don’t share that with her lol. Here’s the one I made today.
I have small groves cut into the bottom of the cup so it can slowly leak out the bottom. The only color I added silicone to (that gives the cells) is the base color of neon green. Once its all leaked out and the paint is somewhat even. Then I start to tilt and let the paint roll to the edges.
And I got this. Me likey.
Oh yeah. I also hit the paint with a blow torch once I’m done to pop air bubbles and create more cells and lacing.
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Todays entry is gonna be a little weird.
Spiritual baths are the practice of cleansing negative energies from the body. Recently I’ve had the idea of spiritual urination or bowel movement. While the physical body is eliminating some of its waste, why not do the same with the energy body. You do this multiple times a day. Why not utilize it get ride of some of that spiritual funk you carry around too.
It would become like second nature every time you have to take a trip to the restroom you’d shed some negativity.
Idk weird entry but hey. Join the fucking club.
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It looks pretty cool.
I struggle with clouds, so I only do sunsets😆
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I havent finished it because I wasn’t expecting them to be so hard. Im gonna have to youtube methods. I have a tendency to see something and just try it without knowledge on how to do it.
Usually turns out in complete disaster like those clouds did. The shading of the nights sky turned out good but the clouds are straight doodie.
Now this one first a first time let’s just try it.
Im happy with
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Tried a new method today. One is a white base and the other is a black base.
I like how the white base turned out because u didn’t let the paint drip at all. Lesson learned.
But the black reminds me of a portal or a gateway swirling in free form.
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I think your attempt at clouds was pretty good! I almost never draw them or backgrounds for that matter so I can relate. I find its best when I start something new like that, to build up my visual library, just before. Look at clouds online or outside, like really reallllly study them. Take about 10 to 15 mins of tracing each line and noticing each color used… Then paint! It might help and wont take too much time away from art. 
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I will get back to it. Im letting it sit and think about its actions before I start attempting again. Hopefully next time the paint will do what I say. I will give your method a try. Im going to look for a cloud painting tutorial on YouTube and see what I can scrounge up.
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Welcome back myself!
So I have taken a short break. Ive just been working on my self in meditation thats been going really well imo. And also working on a dream journal. Ive not wrote down just as many dreams and then forgotten them as I have wrote down. Im at 8. But for me thats a major success. I had trained myself not to remember dreams. So its been a struggle to get them back and im hyped to start seeing them roll back in.
Some of them have been fun as fuck and some of them kinda make me worry about myself. BUT each one has been amazing shadow work. Ive learned and accepted… quirks, yeah let’s call them quirks in myself.
I’ve been working on a lot of understanding myself. Why I react a specific way to certain situations. Why I get so angry so fast. And really figuring out what it is that makes me tick. The mindfulness I get from meditation really is an impressive tool and so very very multifaceted.
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In my recently recollections I’ve come to the understanding that I am currently living a somewhat blessed life.
My depression is trying its best to put a haze over all that and construe the facts to make my situation look bad and get me down. Well fuck you depression.
The things that I keep reminding myself to help fight depression back into whatever hole it dragged itself out of.
My life goals I have met almost every single one and the ones I havent met im not far behind on.
I’ve been happily married for over 10 years.
We have an amazing son that I would kill any of you fuckers for lol
I am very well payed in my profession. And if I were to leave and get a new job I would almost double my salary.
I’ve gotten almost all of my debt outside of home and car loans.
I have a big house with land
I’ve created all this from nothing, I didnt have parents with money I came from a poor family that tried to act middle class.
I went straight into the military out of high school. After I got out I put myself through college where I met my wife. She then supported me while I finished college.
Every job I’ve had I’ve gotten because of someone else and they’ve all just lined my path to where I am. It seems like somebody I know recommends or gets me in at all the places I’ve worked. Due to this I have a good resume that checks a lot of boxes.
By society standards im running a good race. Idk its just…
Its a weird feeling when your plans change from this current life to planning for the next, or Infiniti.
These are all the things I try and use to remind myself of how I’m actually doing when depression sets in.
Let’s hope it works.
TLDR:
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You forgot to say how absolutely badass you are at art!
If I’m depressed art is the one thing in the world that I know can get me out of it. Creativity helps the mind stay focused.
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I’ve been on a bit of a break while I try to collect myself and figure out where to go from here.
I’ve been considering doing the 5 month long kasdeya rite. This is a not something I can start and not finish so im hesitant. Also I feel like its a good step for me. But I still worry due to my bad habits of starting shit I don’t finish.
This ritual is extended but also isn’t strict on what each day is about. Its got a general flow but is very malleable so I could start it directed toward breaking a bad habbit of not following through.
If I do commit to this I’ll start a journal specifically for it.
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Another thing to note,
I’ve got that random energy collection happening in my mouth again. This is happening numerous times each hour basically. Its been growing in frequency here lately. If someone is trying to get my attention they have it. Please deliver the fucking message.
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So ive been doing a bunch of reading from S Connolly. Ive decided to do the ritual in the book of Agares. Im waiting on the journal im going to use to create my book to arrive. Since this ritual is used to create a book of manifestation and record your own will. I went ahead and got a nice paperblank.
My wife had the perfect little mirror to use in it. Basically the only other things I need are 3 gold candles, gold ribbon/cord and a soft gold cloth to wrap the book in. And finally the herbs to make the oleums for anointing of the book and its pages.
Speaking of S Connolly and herbs.
I am going to be picking up wortcunning here soon. My herb game is weak af so I plan on giving it an overhaul. My wife is getting into gardening and just growing plants in general. So we plan on using this book to learn to grow, keep and dry herbs ourselves for ritual. I dont have a very green thumb but I am excited to learn a new skill and implement it into my praxis.
Im also looking into Connolly’s Kasdeya ritual too. This one will take a shit load of pre planning before I even 100% pull the trigger on. For those not familiar. This is a 5 month or 20 week long blood sacrifice ritual. Each of the 20 weeks is broken down into a different demon and to work on specific parts of yourself each week. Only the first month is structured as to what rituals you do for said demon. These first 4 weeks are used for balancing ones energies. Then basically the hand holding stops. This is all the structure you have left.
Day1 raise energy
Day2 manifestation
Day3 offering
Day4 scrying
Day5 magical rite
Day6 ascension / pathworking
Day7 balance / meditation
5 months straight, day after day after day. I need to start small and work up to this as i gather all the supplies.
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