I really enjoyed reading your DMT experience…thanks for posting it!
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Hey thanks for reading it. It was one hell of a trip. Pun intended.
Stencil attempt #1
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Catchup from Thursdays meditation.
This ended up being another bathtub meditation. I really am enjoying using the water to pull in energy. I feel like its some kind of affinity to either water or heat. Maybe both, probably both.
So I got in and turned on my legend of zelds lofi sound track. I used my iron box where I throw all my worldly troubles and body. This time instead of using adamthoths staircase to sink down Into myself. I tried another method of falling that very familiar with.
I saw myself up at the the stratosphere getting ready to jump from some kind of low orbit space ship. I jumped and could feel myself free falling toward the planets surface. I fell and fell and fell and fell. Feeling myself fall deeper and deeper into my trance(100% will use again). Once I felt I was deep enough into my trance I pulled my rip cord and deployed my chute.
Once under the lift of the parachute I began to survey the area I was in. The sky around me was shades of pinks and purples. It was a developed land. I made my plf (parachute landing fall, more of a myth than most gods.) Into the hard and rocky ground.
I was in some kind of commercial city like new York. It was deserted and covered in a layer or soot, ash or dirt or something. I wrote hello dad on one of the abandoned windows and went to explore. It was really hot and I was dripping in sweat, but felt comfortable. I noted how much I enjoyed the heat and how comfortable it was. I took a moment to just soak in the environment.
Next thing I’m just chatting with myself internally. This is where shadow work started itself. This has been happening all the fucking time recently. I start getting visions of my life and how good things are going. Im giving myself ammo to fight this crippling depression thats trying to loom over myself. So as I said I see all the good things. I have a very well paying job. I have a huge house some would consider a mansion. I have the awesome kid and amazing wife. My life isn’t nearly as bad as this depression is trying to tell me.
I have a wife who will stand by me through everything. Ive been shown these things. She will be my rock no matter how broke I may see myself as. She’ll just stand there with a brush and glue ready go put the pieces together. I understand how lucky I am to have this support and how much it pushes me to succeed for them. I really wish everyone gets the opertunity to find someone as lifting as I have. You all deserve this and my wife deserves more from me. She’ll get it.
At this point I sank all of my body under water except for my nose and lips. I just absorbed the energy in.
A last note is a comment on the other post I linked in here earlier. Still unsure what is going on with the weird energy settling in my jaw ans mouth. My lips feel tingly and electric. No fucking clue whats going on.
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I’ve been on a small break. Finally losing the sensation of energy being trapped in my jaw. I took me also a full week to finally figure out exactly what this sensation reminded me of.
If you were to go outside in an extreme cold without your face covered. Stay outside long enough for that chill to seep into the bone. Then go inside and stand next to a fire.
If any of you have done that. Then the numb feeling of that deep cold being assaulted by the heat of the flames. Leaving you with that numb tingling sensation on the skin.
That is what has been happening all week. So ive not done much energy work this week. My face is finally starting to feel like normal again.
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Really love reading what you post! Keep it up, glad your back into things.
Also your art is amazing. <3 It reminds me of this stuff.
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Thanks I appreciate it. And yes the recent paintings have been acrylic paint pours. Lots of fun to make. Ill keep updating with the new ones I make.
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Ok so this is the third time I’m writing this post. Not sure if interent or balg issues but I’m gonna fail this test of patients if this fails a third time.
So recently I’ve been working on dream recall recently to learn to lucid dream. I picked up Exploring the world of lucid dreaming from @Faustus recommendation. Ive read through the first chapter and am working on the exercises it recommends for dream recall. Im trying not to read ahead so im currently on the part of creating a dream journal of at a minimum of 12 dreams. Ive been a failure so far. Ive woke up in the middle of the night twice with fragmented memories of my current dream. My issue is ive been to lazy/stupid to write them down i instantly. By the morning they are gone.
The book explicitly states not to do this and write them as soon as you wake. I know my issue and im going to work on fixing it. I know I have issues with falling back asleep if I wake up too much. But this just feels like an excuse as I tell it to myself. But in the 2 weeks ive had this book ive remembered not writing down a remembered dream 3x so far. So I know the methods of dream recall they are asking me to do is working. I just need to follow the fuck through.
I bought a new journal just for this thanks paperblanks. Ive got it sitting next to my bed i just need to utilize it.
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Kinda late reply but …
I see energy , or that’s the feeling it gives me very energetic
You very talented keep on going
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Get a voice recorder, and place it beside your bed. When you wake up, grab it and describe the dreams. You can then go back to sleep and transfer the dream to your journal later.
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I should do this too, that’s my worst thing. I miss a lot of the random just dreams, though the ones with messages usually still stand out, or I’ll repeat it to myself as I fall back asleep and it does seem to help me remember, actively going over the details before I pass back out. I think the reason I only realize I’m dreaming and don’t gain lucidity though, is my failure to record the normal dreams. I only tend to record the ones that are significant. 
But my iphone has a voice memo app, and I sleep with the phone right there- so that would be super easy if I could go over feeling ridiculous lmao.
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Just ordered one. Amazon will deliver it tomorrow.
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You would love this I think.
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Oh yeah thats awesome. Ive seen people use a similar method to transfer patterns to helmets and guitars and stuff. But never seen someone make their own design and transfer it. Thats really really cool. Thanks for sharing.
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Sorry if this is hard to follow gonna word vomit today
So today started out really bumpy for me. I got woke up at 5:30 by my dog constantly smacking her lips like she hasn’t touched water in 3 days. I woke up angry and not just unhappy angry but I want to break something angry. I laid there for about 30 minutes trying to go back to sleep but every little noise pushed me deeper into that rage. Eventually I said fuck it and got up. It took me almost 3 hours to find any semblance of peace in my mind. Totally uncharacteristic of me. Im tnt, I go off big but am instantly burnt out.
So I decided to get into a hot bath meditation. Suuuch a good idea. I had such an amazing session, I had probably 3 large revelations and one epiphany.
Let’s start with the epiphany. I started out with this meditation having no real direction. I just wanted to get my mind off being angry. So I was talking to myself. Im not 100 on what the subject was I was going on about. I just focused in on the fact that if I sit and monolog with myself and actually pay attention to the shit that I answer back with is good fucking advice not to be pushed aside. Something ive really been learning the last couple years.
So there I was really listening to myself mentally work through some minor things that have been bothering me. So im talking to myself and im pausing to stop and mule over the responses I get back. Thats when I start to notice that I’m no longer talking to myself. These answers are external. Im only thinking through half of the responses. The other half are not coming from me.
I get a somewhat sarcastic congratulations from the peanut gallery that I’m mentally talking with. We continue to converse back and forth as im being lead further down this train of thought and realizations. The voice points out that if I keep paying close attention I will notice other differences. Thats when I could notice that whoever was answering my questions didn’t quiet sound exactly like I did. If I didn’t pay attention I could easily not notice it. But when focusing it was clear as a bell different.
The next revelation I had dealt with testing to validity of the voice. And by this I mean to be able to differentiate between internal and external. I found its soooo much easier than I would have initially believed. For me I just needed to poke the voice. Now let me tell you what I mean by that.
I found that if I question the the incoming dialog for being real or not. If it was fake it instantly crumbles like a house of cards. A true external communication will continue on. I was then congratulated again on my success and was told this. The reason my internal dialog falls flat like a house of cards when simply questioned is because it is me who is doing that processing power to created those thoughts. If I start using my brain at the same time to start poking at that. It diverts my processing from creation to inspection and the thought falls flat. If the dialog is external it will proceed through those simple checks because it is external.
Probably not making a lot of sense but it was a breakthrough for me.
I also thought up something im gonna call a pocket world. Ill do a write up on this hopefully tomorrow. Its a long one. I had some long convos today.
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