A few days ago I entered into a pact with Lucifuge, and part of my contribution is sharing the work and successes I am having on my path, both for giving the merit this entities deserve, as well as for helping anyone who is stuck in situations like mine, and may find some of this rambling helpful.
Why is this a contribution? Basically I have always been afraid of sharing my experiences with others, and I think that this can be useful for my personal growth.
I feel like it has to be retroactive, so I’ll start with how I got here (not very far, but still progress, lol), once finished, I’ll just keep journaling periodically.
I’ll just give some introduction to who I am
As briefly mentioned in the introduction, I was raised by a Christian family, and only in 2020 was I able to free myself from the influence of that religion (I’m still in the process of reprogramming, but it gets better by the day!).
Prayers never helped me that much, and I always felt in a position to doubt and discuss every rule that was taken for granted, which was not very well regarded in the church where I was. (Let’s say that I did not like it in general when someone gave me orders from the top of an authority that I did not recognize as such, that’s all).
From 15 and up, he discovered a great life partner: metal. A musical genre recognized as malignant, wrong, corrupting … but that still made me feel great in any situation, especially around people I didn’t like (and who I didn’t like, especially). It kept me company … helped me overcome many things.
However, I was afraid of the power that resides within it, I wasn’t consciously aware of what it was, but that instrumental power, those lyrics … they were alluring, and I felt wrong for wanting them.
Fortunately, that phase passed, and slowly I grew spiritually, not being afraid anymore.
As for my current situation, my current job requires that I leave the house at 7 am to catch the train, and for the same reason I return home at 7 pm, so my practices are concentrated in the morning (I get up at about 5:30, to be able to meditate ) and at night, after dinner.
I will divide my Journal entries into various posts, so as not to make the reading too long and boring, maybe putting some video of the music I normally listen to, to make the topic less boring (if you like what I listen to of course, lol ).
As the first song, I will leave one that I know from the release, but whose meaning, for me, is now worth more than ever.
My descent is the story of an everyman, I am hatred, darkness and despair
See you soon!