I want to interfere for a good but selfish reason

[anonpdx]

I saw a post on here about how love spells can push the person you did it on into someone else’s arms, but I forgot what they said about that like, what type of person are you pushing them into the arms of? Seems like I pushed him into the arms of someone that to him was the perfect finesse and perfect for the time being.

I did a bunch of love spells while my ex was in jail as a baby witch, years have passed now(2) I’ve done a couple cleansing candles for us both and also went through the process of trying to undo each love spell I could remember that I did.

Backtracking, He got out of jail and came home to some ugly cross eyed woman that he is 100% using for financial security.

I want her to lose interest in him because she’s being used.
And I want him to stop wanting to use this woman, Like I want him to be like you know what all the shit that I’m dealing with is not worth it let me get my shit together and get my money up so I can get out of this situation.

I have written multiple complex petitions to multiple different demons to try to break them up, but they are still together because she is a ugly woman who has never got the time of day from a man that looks like my ex & my ex is willing to put up with whatever for the sake of financial security and being able to sit on his ass while this Lady pays all the bills and he gets a job here and there when he wants to & sells weed cocaine and guns on the side out of her house. The multiple spells in my mind was like me intensifying the energy and intention for them to break up but really I was probably making it weaker.

got a professional reading they said he doesn’t really like her and confirmed that he is in fact using her but also said he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
So he wants to talk to me because he likes me and enjoys my company and all that blah blah blah, but doesn’t wanna stop talking to or leave this woman because of whatever she’s doing for him financially.

I believe that this situation was pretty ideal for him at first a slow, dumb, ugly girl who isn’t really capable of leaving you for someone better, gullible easily manipulated has a lot of money and is willing to spend it on him.
I started doing spells to break them up and cause problems and it seems like things have gotten less ideal.

I get the ace of wands reversed(Among other cards) when I ask about how he feels to me it seems like he’s questioning what made him start talking to her and get in this situation in the first place,(the love spells I did perhaps idk but I don’t understand how and neither does he not sure if he even believes that the influence of magic is affecting anything at all ) he’s 6’4” smart very handsome, why am I talking to this ugly slow woman who doesn’t even want me to have female friends? Is what it’s seems like he’s asking himself, judging from the ace of wands reversed but I could be wrong with my interpretation.

She went through his phone & me and her had an exchange today told her I was his friend and she said he’s not allowed to have friends. I wonder if, because it seems like it, she is threatening to kick him out if he doesn’t let her go through his phone, she has kicked him out of the home that they supposedly purchased together b4 I think his name is on it. I’m not sure but yeah, she has kicked him out before.

I backtracked Im supposed to be 100% focusing on myself
I’m a little shallow him leaving me for such an ugly woman has really messed with my ego and self-esteem. And then she’s not just ugly. She’s mean she’s insecure literally told me I’m the only friend he needs when I lied and pretended to just be a friend.

Saw a post from him on Snapchat, Laying in the bed watching TV, not cuddled, but in the bed together, he’s smoking a blunt. He accidentally dropped the blunt and she starts yelling at him to stop moving… she’s ugly. She’s cross eyed. She won’t let him have any friends. Then he’s on Facebook complaining like “what do you do when your girl comes home and starts arguments with you every day after work ?” Told me before that he is depressed at the deepest level (looks like my previous hexes are working, I don’t feel happy or sad that they are just grateful)
It’s obvious he’s only with her for her money. And it’s like that’s what you left me for??
I’m sure things were better more fun less stressful before I started doing spells but still.

It’s hard to completely let him and this situation go when I feel like the main reason things went so left was because of me and all my TikTok love spells.

Literally fucking crying right now, man. I’m supposed to be completely unbothered and unconcerned living my best life going hard for myself but here I am concerned about why my ex left me for a cross eyed bitch trying to do spells to interfere in their weak ass loveless relationship.

I feel so fucking pathetic. I’m a boss bitch. This is so not like me

[anonpdx]

Toward the end before he got out of jail, he was talking about how I was holding him back(I promise you I literally wasn’t those damn spells was fucking with our ability to communicate with each other and causing miscommunication issues.
Me: The sky is blue
Him: it’s raining cats and dogs??
I would send him a long paragraphs and he would send a long one back completely misunderstanding it despite him being smart, having good comprehension skills being able to communicate effectively (sometimes) etc

Then you get out of jail just to start selling weed cocaine and guns??
Did the hexes I did assist with making him backtrack?
Well, he did have a really good job that he liked at first, I wrote a spell to two demons To cause problems in their relationship and make them break up, & she ended up sending in a resignation letter to his job. Was he selling all of that shit before/during the time he had this job idk. Judging by his open availability to hang out on different days of the week, don’t think he currently has one. He doesn’t have to work for real or at least not consistently. His ugly “girlfriend” only cares about him being with her and if he’s talking to other women.

Fuck man!
Part of me wishes I completely didn’t care about this or him and could completely stop talking to him and never look back.
The other part of me wants to get him back on track and if he does be in a secret relationship with him that I can’t tell anybody about because him getting out of jail and not being with me after I got his name tattooed without knowing his fate and just how he did me overall after he got out of jail is embarrassing.
Ugh man I’m tired of myself.

[theheirophant]

I mean, you can’t polish a turd, right?

Your love magick works pretty well. Why not use it to find someone better for you, or just a higher quality human being in general? At the very least, use your magick to give yourself another option so your ex has real competition. It’ll keep him honest about where he stands with you and force him to get his shit together.

[anonpdx]

I think I’m still experiencing some lingering effects from the love spells backfiring. Also, my goddamn ego.
An ugly cross eyed remedial bitch is on my line telling me that he’s not going anywhere and that I’m dumb. Why in the mutha fuckin fuck do I even care!!! Shit! My pride and ego is one of the main reasons I’m even still trying to talk to this dude. I also have this need/want to show him what he was missing out on. WHY? Idek man.

Well part of of it is me wanting to show him the connection and relationship he was missing out on is because I started researching the effects of love spells backfiring and have a slightly better understanding of the negative psychological effects they can have on both parties. He was head over heels in love and obsessed then I started doing spells to make him believe I wasn’t cheating at first then they became more and more selfish and unhinged like “ stop being attracted to fetishizing Asian women” spells started backfiring now here comes all of the miscommunication & misunderstandings

This tattoo was very serious to me. It meant no matter what through thick and thin. Half of me wants to get this shit removed and do exactly what you just said and the other Half knows how he really feels about me and hopes that he’ll do something significant to make up for everything he’s done like go get my name tatted or invest in one of my businesses or something.

I hit him with all the, “when these spells start wearing off your feelings are going to start going back to normal. You’re not gonna be so mad at me you’re gonna regret this you’re gonna feel stupid. And now that everything is playing out almost exactly as I said it was. It’s hard for me to completely walk away when I know how stupid he feels and how much he regrets how his actions.
I swear I’m not being delusional about a man that doesn’t want me but I do know that I deserve better and can attract better.

In my mind and heart I know that you’re right I’ll be better off doing self love spells, glamour, magic, attraction, magic, etc.
i’m irritated and frustrated with myself.

But yeah, I’m Finna fall back, though. I already started taking one of the moderators advice to help with my stagnant energy and just the stagnant way I feel overall.

I’ve done Hella cleansing, a black spellerbuster candle just stopped burning a couple days ago, two road openers and I still just feel sooo, not like myself.
Some self-love and glamour magic and some magic to attract love. I’m thinking would be a good step to take right now.

[anonpdx]

And when I say “get him back on track” I mean make the ugly lady fed up with him, not want to spend any money on him or do anything for him, make her and their relationship extremely unbarely. While also cleansing away the hexes I did so he won’t be depressed and doing something to make him feel better and build his confidence so he can leave. And some spells (sweetening?) to draw him towards me a LITTLE bit more.
I fucked him, his life, his self esteem and energy up good. Don’t feel bad about it all. I’m just over him feeling that. It’s getting in the way of his progress in life and our progress in our relationship.

I already did a “she’s completely fed up” candle spell, no wax left over herbs burned completely, tall flame, that’s going to work.

Reguardless of it we end up back together or not i don’t want him to continue to be taken care of by this women. I’m going to make sure she is on his ass “pay the FULL rent or get the fuck out!! I’m not paying all the bills anymore your the man it’s time for you to take care of me”
“Marry me or get the fuck out this house!!!”
He won’t like that very much.

She’s dumb but she’s not a complete idiot so I’m sure they already arguing about that type of stuff, the reading that I got said that was a possibility, money disputes, but clearly not enough for him to leave or for her to be done with him for good. I want to make that happen regardless of what happens between us.

Atm I have a “I want him to want me even if I don’t really want him” mindset

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

Why do you want to be with someone who treats you this way? The demon in me is already enraged at you for your thoughtlessness.

I don’t think anything you do will work because I am convinced that they want you to do better and so are literally going to fail every spell until you gather self-esteem and make choices that reflect the honor in which you should hold yourself.

[theheirophant]

@Post_lux_tenebrae

Why do you want to be with someone who treats you this way? The demon in me is already enraged at you for your thoughtlessness.

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying the same thing yesterday, after i clearly pissed off a mod. So i’ll let you tell it.

@Post_lux_tenebrae

I don’t think anything you do will work because I am convinced that they want you to do better and so are literally going to fail every spell until you gather self-esteem and make choices that reflect the honor in which you should hold yourself.

My view on this:

The guy is already an ex-con and a deadbeat. I’m not judging his record because people end up inside for all types of reasons fair or unfair. But records make it harder for you to make a living, and you have to double down on getting employment or starting a business to get on in life when you’re on the outside.

Furthermore (and unrelated to his record or priors), the man is a deadbeat and he’s very clearly taking advantage of another woman’s loneliness. That shows a lack of integrity or ambition on his part. Why are you making this guy your only option, @anonpdx? Most women run AWAY from guys like him but you’re acting like he’s the only game in town. I don’t get it.

Another question. Let’s assume your ritual works. Then he leaves the other girl and returns. Then he moves into YOUR house and YOU have to get another job to pay his way in life. Now he’s YOUR financial burden. Is that what you want?

Third question. How long do you plan to put up with his mooching before you lose your temper and kick him out?

Final question. When (not if, WHEN) you get fed up with his fuckery and kick him out, will he leave willingly or will it be drama?

What exactly is your end game in this? And are you really thinking this thing through?

I’m not moralizing here. I’m asking you What’s In It For YOU? I don’t see a reward in all this work you’re doing. All i see is struggle love.

I also see that the spirits you’re calling on aren’t going to do this shit for you because they already know when they help you get INTO the mess you’re clearly trying to get into, you’re going to run back to them to get you OUT of the same mess YOU created. I gather they don’t want you to waste their time on that kind of bs.

My original advice stands:

@theheirophant

Your love magick works pretty well. Why not use it to find someone better for you, or just a higher quality human being in general? At the very least, use your magick to give yourself another option so your ex has real competition. It’ll keep him honest about where he stands with you and force him to get his shit together.

Frankly, you’re doing this the hard way. Think things through before you do more magick, and Begin With The End In Mind.

[Mulberry]

@anonpdx

Part of me wishes I completely didn’t care about this or him and could completely stop talking to him and never look back.

Not for nothing, there’s techniques for that if you want to go there. Starting with cord cutting, though by the time people get on this forum they usually already tried those and they weren’t enough. I invented one of my own to nix an infatuation that I’ve used a few times since and works pretty reliably for me, it takes a little time to be gentle on raw emotions, but it’s never failed me. I’m cautious about using it as it kills everything even the desire to be friends.

Mulberry's "destroy an unwanted connection / relationship using a poppet" tutorial

The fundamental technique here is “sympathetic magick” also called low magick, this is feminine, emotional magick, you could consider it to be of the old ways. It’s freeform and not ceremonial, so there’s room to edit and make it yours. First of all, lets put this in context: This poppet spell was designed to kill the pain of a lustful attraction that was unable to be fulfilled, which could be seen astrally as cords between the lower energy centers of myself and the target, who was a former lov…

[anonpdx]

Sigh. I thought it was obvious that the problem here is my pride and ego.
“I don’t really want him” is how I ended it. I’m not a lame ass bitch wtf entire fuck do I look like letting this man move in with me ‍↔

My ego and pride is shot and I want to remove him from that situation not because I want us to get back together and everything to work out but I want to make that bitch feel stupid for thinking that he’s not going anywhere, and he already feels stupid for Leaving me for her, I wanna make him feel even stupider. We didn’t really get a chance to hang out after he got out of jail so he just feels stupid because of the situation that he’s in and the problems that he’s having in his life, but my ego wants him to feel even more stupid because I want him to remember how in love he was obsessed and infatuated he was with me.

The goal here is to feed my pride and ego by being around him and showing him what he was missing out on but like I said, I don’t really want him and feel like lingering love spells are still affecting me.
My ego is like yeah walking away completely would be a boss move, but you would feel even better if you made him leave that bitch and he fell completely back overhead in love with you and then boom I stop talking to him once my ego is satisfied. I think the lingering effects of love spells, my pride and my ego is keeping me stuck in this type of thought pattern of not wanting to just let this shit go.
Also said that falling back self-love glamour magic and focusing on myself completely was the next step.

It’s like you guys are completely ignoring the back-and-forth struggle that I’m talking about and only talking about the little parts that I said that I kind of wanna be with him lol

[anonpdx]

Man this is what I want. How I wish I felt. I WANT to have to desire to do a spell like this. I think it’s my pride and ego & lingering love spells that has me like ehhh.
I don’t want him. I don’t wanna be with him, but I want him to want me. I’m already the girl that got away And from readings that I’ve done he has a pretty healthy mindset. He wants me to be happy with or without him.
I think these goddamn lingering ass love spells is keeping me like “ yeah, that’s great. That’s a healthy way to think but fuck that. I want you to be sad and fucked up about me being the one that got away”
That’s really the only reason I want to remove him from the situation and bring him closer to me. He already feels like fuck why did I leave her? Why did I do this shit & Once we get around each other, he 100% is going to feel like A complete moron and think everything is fine and we’re to be happy ever after then BOOM I cut him off Block him everywhere and never give him the time of day again.

I went through a bad break up )diff guy) was fucked up for four months and those those four months when I started not be heartbroken anymore and stop giving a fuck, I still kept thinking about the dude even though I felt like I didn’t care so I decided like you know what let me go fuck him so I can see if I still have real feelings. Fucked the guy and completely realized that I don’t give a fuck anymore.

That’s kind of what I’m trying to do here.

But yeah, completely falling back and focusing on glamour, magic, self-love magic, and magic to attract a better partner is the next step.

[anonpdx]

Yeah, I agree. I’m not as focused on my end goal which is to boss up, better myself, not give a fuck and not give the time of day to a man like this again.
The goal I have currently is right now goal. It’s a goal fueled by my ego n shit In this post, I am struggling to let go of these right now goals for the ask of my own personal betterment cause I’m allowing my ego to run the show.

Hoping I feel less like this after some of these self love & glamour spells

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

Spells wear off. I recommend simply facing the parts of you you hate and allowing them to speak to you, shadow work. The conversation could be enlightening. The things in us we fear and hate lose power after being confronted and allowed to speak.

[Mulberry]

@anonpdx

It’s like you guys are completely ignoring the back-and-forth struggle

You’re talking to mostly problem-solvers, We are trying therefore to offer solutions to stop this back and forth struggle as “struggle” one way or the other as that is what appears to be the problem.

But for that you have to pick a solution and run with it. I’ve told you what I would do but I’m boring - I take myself out of the struggle by fixing the unhelpful emotions and walk away.

To which you said:

@anonpdx

I don’t really want him and feel like lingering love spells are still affecting me.
My ego is like yeah walking away completely would be a boss move, but you would feel even better if you made him leave that bitch and he fell completely back overhead in love with you and then boom I stop talking to him once my ego is satisfied.

Sounds like a lot of drama that could easily backfire in horrible ways tbh.

The poppet spell would work on negating/hex breaking those as well, but I fully admit, drawing a line under what doesn’t work but keeping the lessons learned it’s definitely a me thing.

I wouldn’t categorize myself as a “boss bitch” but I lead technical teams in the IT industry, and what I hear is you already weighed the pros and cons, intellectually made a decision, and are having difficulty aligning your emotional body with that decision.

At times like this I consider the primate I incarnated into to be more like a dog that I would be mistreating if I allowed it to just do what it wants, like eat cake all day, which his also emotional. It’s a little dissociative I know, but if my human animal making me miserable with it’s hormones and learned associations, then it’s my responsibility as the higher being in the driving seat to help us both, because I can and it can’t

@anonpdx

Part of me wishes I completely didn’t care about this or him and could completely stop talking to him and never look back.
The other part of me wants to get him back on track and if he does be in a secret relationship with him that I can’t tell anybody about because him getting out of jail and not being with me after I got his name tattooed without knowing his fate and just how he did me overall after he got out of jail is embarrassing.
Ugh man I’m tired of myself.

So there’s a meta decision to make - Do you want to spend some more time in this struggle state and let it develop and see if there’s a change? - I’m hearing “no”, because you’ve done that and you’re tired of it. But which decision is hard because the whole thing is a shit show and you don’t have clarity.

Do you want to be mind over heart, or heart over mind? How do you know which is which? Why can’t you have both and be aligned? I bet there’s a way… I would offer an idea, to try a solution in 2 phases to allow some clarity in for making decent decisions:

• First, run the poppet (or similar sour jar/breakup spell) twice - once of your relationship with him, AND once on the relationship between him and the ex, and also, run a hexbreak on you and he and undo all the negative parts. Let him get a good job and keep it, let him feel worthy of more… Then wait for 3-6 months and let the energies settle out and see how you feel with all the pressure off and any drama that comes out of him changing out of the way.

• Second, with the desks cleared of messy and confusing energy, and if you evaluate that it’s in your interests, THEN re-apply the love spells. If you still love him after the first phase, then it’s a deeper and genuine love, it’s not infatuation or wanting to win or wanting vengeance, it’s a clear and lasting loyalty, and worth fighting for, hopefully with a guy who is now also clear of messy influences and you both know what you really want.

But right now, you’re not clear, you’re conflicted, there’s a shit ton of wonky spell energy flying around making a mess, there’s a weird woman in the way, and he’s in a bad place with a risk-taking murky future in store. This is not a good time to be making life changing decisions. Hence, try a clean-up first and then decide with clarity.

[anonpdx]

Treat me what way? He texts and calls talking about how depressed he is and how he wants to move into a new place with me. We haven’t met up in person, but it’s very obvious that he is full of shame regret, and is embarrassed and depressed as fuck. Have done & gotten readings to confirm those things.

He’s currently not doing anything to me just distant and sad. He’s very open to conversation but is having trouble trusting me, understandable I’ve been talking Hella shit and telling I’m him I’m doing/have done spells. He doesn’t care about any of the spells I’ve done to cause bad things to happen to him. He feels like he deserves it.

And the only thing he was doing to me when he got out of jail, was ignoring the shit out of me, completely disregarding everything I was saying no matter how much sense I was making, it was completely unwilling to talk about anything, which was mostly coming from the love spells. Well not only lmfao but he has not physically disrespected me or said anything disrespectful to me, me on the other hand, yeaaa I’ve been disrespecting the fuck out of him. Not currently I was before though. For the most part all is forgiven on his end because he knows he fucked up and like I said he feels like he deserves The things he’s experiencing and the feelings he’s having.

He’s tall, handsome, smart goal oriented, reads books has big goals and aspirations, he’s diverse open-minded, self aware, has the desire to move his life forward in a positive direction and has many other good qualities. He is slightly narcissistic, but definitely isn’t a full-blown narcissist.

That’s why I was saying I wonder if some of the spells I’ve done has caused him to backtrack. Seems like life was pretty sweet for him and he was on the right track until I started interfering with magic, good job, nice car a dumb, ugly gullible, bitch incapable of finding someone better with a lot of money she is willing to spend on him.

His self-esteem and self-confidence is shot(Because of me) And tarot readings have confirmed That you are correct, he wants me to do better because now he feels unworthy, also said he’s content with settling for less.

I definitely agree that the spells that I was doing while he was still actively ignoring me weren’t working because like you said I’m not Honoring myself and giving myself enough self love.

I don’t completely not want to be with him, but like I said the goal here is not to get him back & for everything to be happily ever after the goal is to feed my pride and ego.

[anonpdx]

@Mulberry

you already weighed the pros and cons, intellectually made a decision, and are having difficulty aligning your emotional body with that decision.

This exactly I have I know what the better more self loving more boss bitch path is to take, but my ego is like mmmm nah we want to do that.

@Mulberry

I would be mistreating if I allowed it to just do what it wants, like eat cake all day,

In my mind, I’m just like OK this is just a right now thing. I’m gonna pursue the goals of my ego, then once I get what I want, boom, cord cutting and self love and block him forever and all that.

I know that I have pure love inside of me for him and so does he for me because despite me having mixed feelings and mostly being angry while doing them, love spells I’ve done since he’s got out of jail have worked, quickly and easily I might add.

We both were in different mental states when I was doing spells on him after he got out of jail to bring him back while he was actively deciding to ignore the fuck out of me. He was Fresh out of jail with a settlement. feeling his self with a retard, spending Hella money on him by his side, and I was sad, depressed, desperately wanting him back and feeling like everything was all my fault, well also being extremely angry and wanting revenge.

Some of the love spells and come back to me spells I was doing during this time got us back talking, but it didn’t last.
Walking away completely just doesn’t feel empowering atm but I’m definitely gonna take you guys advice.

Fall back, undo undo undo, space, time, self love, try to rebuild myself esteem, etc. etc. then see where I’m at, and how I feel in a couple months.

I don’t even want to do a spell to break them up anymore after reading you guys responses. I really just want him to feel confident and empowered enough to leave.

I mean he’s already depressed and wants to leave, but I DK what’s going on and why he hasn’t. Well, he did just lose his car a couple weeks ago and a good paying job he had a couple months ago (my fault i think from hexes, wasn’t specific when I was doing them just kept yelling and saying suffer, be depressed, be miserable, VERY bad things are/will happen to you)
Idk what the hell done happened besides those two things that’s keeping him stuck and stagnant, he’s currently too embarrassed to give details otp, but has said to me he put himself in a shitty situation & is open to having a conversation about everything now.

We were supposed to link up and talk about everything but then he got caught by Miss ugly that he lives with and said he wanted things to die down first.

But yeah, I’m gonna try to be strong and take you guys advice

[anonpdx]

Omggg shadow work is soooo hard for me I sit and look at shadow work prompts and my answer to most of the questions is, I don’t know so I always give up
well, not completely. I’m just like maybe I need to meditate more Consistently or something then I’ll be able to answer them.

[Post_lux_tenebrae]

It’s simple- What would you do if no one was watching when you are honest? Confront that and allow it to happen in vision and notice your response. No matter how horrible or beautiful. Don’t tell us, experience it for yourself and after that, talk to the aspect of yourself that went through the experience and see how they really feel.