Just a rant about how much I’m stressed. If this doesn’t belong here or if it’s too annoying feel free to remove it but I don’t have another community that can understand . Nothing I do with my magick really works. Nothing impressive has happened anyway, maybe some odd pleasant coincidences and small easy things I’ve asked for using sigils , but nothing crucial to the significant things I need to move certain life circumstances where I want it . It feels Unbelievably crushing and makes me hate myself . I’m working now with the Demons of Magick from Gordon winterfell and for all the prep and pomp you have to do to initiate that magic I still have Jack shit.
I don’t understand how this magick is supposed to work for something you actually need and therefore can’t permanently put out of your mind , look away from and forget about long enough for the supposed powers to rearrange reality for you . It doesn’t make sense If I’m supposed to “become a living god” with the power to call things to me I need and I am asking for reasonably attainable requests ( nothing unrealistic and fantastical)
why can’t it just . freakin. work?
I’m furious and miserable and I can’t just turn the disappointment off.
Does anyone have stories of success for things that didn’t work at all at first or came to a halt bc you were trying so hard but then released/picked back up again for you?
What did you do to help?
You’re not the only one, pushing through it will get you there. I would suggest switching tactics and refocusing on magickal self development before turning back to magick to affect your environment.
You might also want to recalibrate how long it takes to make it work when you have not developed your psychic senses and meditation abilities to a good level first. For some it takes years. I started with qigong 30 years ago.
This might be interesting for you:
And this brilliant quote from an old member:
If you haven’t spend much time browsing the 10 years of threads here, I do recommend it, there’s gold in them thar hills. Throw the question out to the universe, how to I make this work, and start researching, here and elsewhere, find anew book and pathwork it cover ro cover, you will be led to your answers. This is a fundamental for the magick student.
Thanks so much for this insight and these stories from other people. I do like the idea of being a continuing student and honing my powers over time to gain real muscle. I’m in this for the haul, but until I’m there I wish I could not be so demoralized by failure.
You are not the only one.
My conclusion is:
If you want a pleasant life, go to the angels.
If you want to strengthen your character, go to demons.
Everything takes time. I’m beginning to understand that all the power, all the essence of infernal magic resides within a human being. He is the alpha and omega. If you keep looking outside, you can be very disappointed.
Lust for results is REAL. When they say that you must forget about your magick/target, after you finish your rituals… it’s not a mere statement… you gotta really forget about it, like it never existed, never happened… like you don’t give a flying fuck anymore… and then out of nowwhere the magick will happen. It can take years to manifest… or months… it depends on the operator/magickian/practitioner.
You could imagine yourself not having that need, therefore releasing yourself from the anticipation or anxieties. Need is like a friction but if you don’t have a need then you are at ease about it all, it either happens or it doesn’t.
Think of some things that have come to you when you weren’t bothered either way, simple things like a surprise outcome, some lucky turnaround that you have experienced and transport your thoughts into that frame of mind. Yes you have desires now but with magick we have to actually use the mind in particular ways and know what and how thoughts make a difference.
It’s a bit like play acting and being serious about the outcome yet easy either way, while holding your preferred outcome overall and seeing the events change behind the scenes even though to anyone else that reality stays static. But you know different, you know it’s changing.
Try to pretend that you don’t need whatever it is, what would it be like to be happy without that need and see how your thoughts change.