I left Christianity. Is it worth it?

[anon25356116]

That I offered God to take away all my magic and block all my chakras😂. The way he ignored my requests to rid me of magic, and the fact that in His opinion I had to cope on my own.
Im also asked to remove kundalini and so on
In fact, I still don’t know why kundalini appeared in me until the end

I have many times offered the Christian God to kill me while I still believe in Him and repented, but for some reason he did not, at least I listened to a couple of hour-long videos about exposing Christianity, as well as read the Oxford Annotated Bible, so many interesting things compromising Christianity

I also often offered my soul and body and everything else to the Christian God, because I thought it was necessary

Now I am haunted by the thought that not everything is so rosy in the whole Bible and Christianity in general so this topic is about my feels and how I left Christianity, my experience

[anon25356116]

What happened when I was still at university :

I took communion as real flesh and blood, not even as symbols, I believed that in this juice and in this bread (or cookie) the real dna of Jesus

I also left the university because I was extremely lazy and because I thought that was what God wanted .

I considered myself an extremely sinful person and extremely spoiled , extremely worthless and incapable of anything , I thought that I was not fit for any business at all , I thought that death was better

a lot of bad descriptions about myself came to my mind at that time

By the way, as I recently learned, it is written in the Bible that pagans are not capable of anything , they cannot do anything good and they cannot do evil

As if the Bible is a cultivator of worthlessness and submission

That’s how one of God’s great novices, King David, used to say, “I am a worm.”

this is how submission and obedience are cultivated: “Do not bend to your mind”

Every day I felt more worthless and pathetic, and every day the depression became stronger

I felt so bad that I was ready to commit suicide, but decided that I needed to repent of my error, (lol, I just broke away from the Baptist teaching then) I was in another teaching according to which you can talk to God using imagination (you imagine that Jesus comes to you on a bench, something like meditation) and you can use the method of divination from the Old Testament, the same communion that I described was from this teaching, also according to this teaching you could talk With the saints.

And so when I repented, it really didn’t help for long.

at that time, I felt these strange energies, vibrations in my body (I didn’t know then that it was kundalini lol) I asked, I begged God to remove these demonic effects (lol, I thought it was demons that manifest themselves that way), but I didn’t get any help from God, I stood in prayer for an hour, I only began to feel these “demonic effects” more strongly

I thought it was a test from God, I thought it was a sacrifice for the unrepent spirits

I voluntarily agreed to suffer for these souls , I felt worse and worse

I prayed for Trump, for Putin, for Obama, for Kim Jin-in

by the way, when I was in that teaching where it was possible to talk to God, I really got into a conversation with Him

I felt extremely sinful in front of Him, my whole heart trembled with his love for me, but I felt so sinful and worthless that I could not open my eyes when he said to open them to see Him

and so maybe I abandoned this teaching because the Baptist egregor began to act on me, fearing that I could actually get in touch with Jesus, were they afraid of what I would hear?

And so after I was in that teaching, calling for the help of the archangels and so on (lol, it turns out this teaching is better than the others that exist in current Christianity)

I continued to struggle with these “demonic manifestations” and in the future

I thought that I was possessed by someone and that the succubus was torturing me.

I asked God for deliverance, but there was none.

nothing that I asked God for did not come, not healing, not the power to heal others, did not come in a dream to talk, did not come a vision, there was no answer

[Satanalash]

Christianity is just a poor copy of the message that Jesus Christ wanted to convey.
It’s just money and brainwashing.

People can’t cultivate with these things.

That’s a fact. That’s why I don’t respect Christianity. There are indeed some things that may be authentic, but it’s like searching for pearls in a dumpster. I can respect what works.

I think Christ is okay, but mixing him with Christianity is profanation.

[anon25356116]

And so some time later, about when I wanted to return to balg, for some reason magic began to pull me back, perhaps it was because I expected help and an answer from God, but he never came, I wanted his guidance for this life, but nothing more than read bible I did not receive
I expected a miracle from Him , but later I even refused a miracle , I wanted to feel better, I wanted him to guide me in this life, who knows, maybe his answer was that it was necessary to study at the university , but is this the answer to how need live my life

Do you want guidance, do you want healing, do you want deliverance? These are all trials, my friend, you are not allowed to have miracles in your life, this is arrogant and excessive pride

Live like everyone Christians , but serve me too , we 'll talk there in paradise

I initially repented for fear of death, not so long ago I got into the astral, you could read it in my topic, and I was so scared of the astral, I felt very bad, as if I was about to die, and I repented so as not to go to hell, but later for some reason realized that maybe I I felt so bad because of illness and lack of sleep.

Not so long ago, when I completely left Christianity, I heard the answer to my question in a sermon

“I will not take you out and your condition, you need went there yourself, you need go out yourself, you also do not expect me to fix your situation soon”

“since your sin is extremely sinful, you are to blame for your situation, you yourself are coming out of your state of semi-death, you yourself must leave the magic”

Im asked before this day that my sin be forgiven and help me get out.
I am also said what I can’t wait long , because I 'm obviously going back to magic.
im also said what better im die tonight, While I’m still repenting

[anon25356116]

In short, I am still afraid of the current state of affairs , in general Christianity still has some influence on me , but I do not think it will last long, but the fear of hell will follow those who have left the faith for a long time
also, in general, a bad self-image can form, a narrow outlook, fear of all practices such as Kundalini, yoga, meditation, we consider it a sin and from the devil
also, in general, it is not so easy to completely leave Christianity, you are just attracted back there like a magnet, you are afraid of everything, a rocket flew by recently and in your mind you immediately need to repent, and what if you die and go to hell? But I did not repent

[Satanalash]

There is nothing to be afraid of.
You can always become a mystic. You have access to the astral door. One mystic is worth more than 100 priests and 1000 sermons.
Just throw away this garbage and approach life normally. The purpose of life is to ascend.
Forget about this religion maintained by psychopaths and start experiencing God personally.
You look at Jesus from the perspective of religion and religion creates mental illnesses.

Many such people are in psychiatric hospitals. Throw away the poison and experience truth, then you will stop being afraid of death and hell.

That is my opinion.

[Satanalash]

People are afraid of what they don’t know.

You have no choice. The work must be done, otherwise the fear will never leave you, never.

Thus you will grow old and die miserable in fear of hell.
A wasted incarnation, similar to the life of a dog on a chain.

You have the choice, what will you choose?

[anon25356116]

Of course, I could return to a boring Christian life that brings me nothing but suffering, but I don’t want to, I’d rather go the way of changing myself and with magic

[Angelb1083]

Nope, I was at work and haven’t practiced anything in a while but please don’t try to come in people’s spaces un invited.

[anon25356116]

yes, so I didn 't do it with the intention , so that’s why I apologize if I inconvenienced you, I was just thinking about your profile
so, just in case, I put a shield from myself on the balg forum
so I don’t think I entered your house, I think I could just find out something about you a little bit, but not that I would do it on purpose

[Angelb1083]

Honestly, you found nothing because it’s literally known that I practice herbalism. But no matter not just don’t. If you don’t have control over your senses, definitely don’t even do that because it’s not cool when somebody doesn’t consent to something and you do not have my consent. You can run into people wards and that could be super dangerous.

[anon25356116]

I didn 't know you were into herbs, lol

[Angelb1083]

You said you were on my profile….

[anon25356116]

Yes , I was just looking at your profile , the way this witch is sitting with a hat , I was just thinking about that , but dont see herb in ur profile, but later when thought come , im see again and see herb

[Angelb1083]

Three lockdowns is literally a post of mine about herbalism… anyway you don’t have my consent and causing harm to a Mod isn’t allowed or any member to be honest.

[anon25356116]

Yeah , you can see for yourself what a strange situation I 'm in .

Anyway, I was just thinking about the profile, and not doing magic intentionally.

if it makes it easier for you, then please Mulberry make some protection for the participants from accidental influence

[Mulberry]

@Angelb1083

please don’t try to come in people’s spaces un invited.

@anon25356116

I didn 't do it with the intention

If you had said this was intentional you would be banned by now.

Just so you are aware, doing magick on forum members without persimmon is against the rules and a bannable offense.

As far as I can tell, all this is in your imagination, you are being somewhat over emotional and it may be a better idea for you to take a break and get grounded. Fear and anxiety are bad emotions to operate from magically, you will only attract parasites and issues to yourself.

Get a hold of yourself, man. You’re self sabotaging and letting your emotional body twist you in weird directions, and in this sate you can’t do magick reliably anyway. After that, no harm no foul. You couldn’t harm me if you tried, and you didn’t try.

I have removed the post claiming you attacked me as it is against the rules. Enhance your calm and carry on.

[anon25356116]

yas it’s was in imagination, really

[kiss-lamia-lilith]

@anon25356116 If you’re serious and are looking for advice you can use, try the search function and look up banishing, spiritual hygene and grounding techniques. These will be useful things to learn.

[anon25356116]

I already use the method of solar grounding and expulsion, I also call the Luna to purify space, I also create mental defenses , and defence raziel sigil also use