Parasites donāt just feed on fear they make you create more, and you have come from one of the most parasitic religions that exists to feed on fear. I suggest trying to work through Robert Bruceās book about this and trying some new cleansing techniques.
Forget and HEAL One way to look at this is your psyche has been damaged by mental-emotional abuse, so you need to heal from this abuse. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, research the psychology of narcissistic relationships and find your way out of this mindset.
OK, perfect I have to go through it tonight and write all the names down that were left.
It can be hard I come form a fundamentalist Christian background and the brainwashing was real. I still have moments that fall back into the fear that was drilled into but the. I remember according to my own Religious background. Iām not going to heaven because I am female and Iām not married to a worthy male so oh well at least I can chose the hell I am going to
their paradise with eternal singing to God is a very tempting place)
In the Old Testament there is no concept of hell, hell = sheol , means death and the grave, only later in the New Testament it was given the meaning of eternal torment
Congrats on leaving the faith, that might not have been easy.
You might benefit from something that is called a āblasphemy riteā in satanism.
In short, you ritualize acts of blasphemy against your old beliefs and previous gods in order to loosen the bonds any old beliefs have on you, to show yourself that nothing bad happens when you do that and eventually to make sure the old beliefs donāt control and influence you anymore. Leaving you free to form new ideas.
If that is a step too far. At least examine your old beliefs and how they influence you (either by still kinda believing them and trying to push them in other forms or by doing nothing other than proving the exact opposite for yourself) What I read now seems the result from someone that has been dominated and traumatized by religion. I donāt have a degree in psychology, so for you that is just basicaly an opinion from a guy on the internet. But examine yourself and see if I might be right.
If you donāt address that trauma first everything spiritual-ish you do now is going to be out of some sort of trauma response. Either making you run towards anything that just feels like the exact opposite or towards anything that just feels.safe and similar. Neither are helpful in freeing yourself from your bonds and making decisions as a free, healthy and sovereign person.
Take a breather. Maybe become an atheist for a while first and try to form your own opinion about things while using only basic and tangible scientific facts.
Consider the ways in which the bible contradicts itself.
Consider that we donāt need a god telling us what we should and should not do. We are group animals, living in groups instinctually tells most of us what is right and wrong.
Consider that christian religious leaders learn things in āSeminarā that they can never repeat in front of their congregation, or their churches would be empty.
Consider that a connection to the divine is between you and the divine alone.
Read some gnostic texts or watch some vids about them. The gnostic texts offer some wild and brilliant alternative views to the teachings of christ. Sources like āEsotericaā and āGenetically Modified Scepticā are awesome for this. That last one might just be of extra help, because itās from an ex-evangelical turned sceptic.
Or any other ways in which you can soak the bandages of your faith loose first without it having too much residue left behind.
Above all remember that it is absolutely fine and healthy to adjust your opinions and beliefs all the time as you discover new evidence, contradictions and considerations.
the fact that I made this topic I blasphemed a lot , as well as the fact that I am on this forum I also blaspheme , so the fact that I listened to the opinion of scientists about the books included in the Bible was also blasphemy
