How to act after the love spell, contact spell starts working?

Love, Sex Magick & Relationships
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Feel free to add this to another thread if its already been answered!
I really couldn’t find the topic mentioned but in some posts in threads. I feel like it might help the other solo hearts on here

Hi BALG members,

What are some things that help continue relationship building?
Is there a specific way to talk or behave, in your experience, for reconciliation?
How do I keep empowering the love work done?

The significant other, SP, used to be my ex. The person finally feels comfortable texting with me, and I think I am as well to keep things light. My goal is to get the SP to be an available option.
I want to avoid being in the situation that ended up in being ignored, blocked or upset. After all the progress I have made, with spells, time, space and working on myself… it would be so silly to get sad and obsessed again.

Starting off, the biggest lesson is to avoid desperation, emotional triggers and stay in the present.
Communication and time spent on this should not be hard or waste my time and energy.
It’s also a little bit of the LOA mindset with staying in the “end”. I also started reading into the draconian path. Basically this tradition says, the negative emotions and thoughts are helpful source of power and guidance. Things will have to be destroyed to continue growth. I don’t care if they come back or not, because I am happy.

With all that, I would like to do the right things to get my goal…

Things I worry about…maybe the nervous energy is a sign I shouldn’t communicate back.
How should I message? The frequency?
What are some topics to bring up or avoid when beginning the path back to reunion?
I am trying to think its like being cool and communicate with my ex like its any new person I am getting to know, idk. I am still close to the time of the heartbreak, so its harder to just not give a shit like with other exes who try to reconnect with me. In those situations, I know how to act because I am not as emotionally invested and usually the ex is more desperate to talk.

Anyways, thanks!

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Leaning into LOA (Goddard/Murphy) might be helpful here.

Or if you’re looking more at rituals, then perhaps some inner work to deal with any nervousness or blockages you might feel.

I don’t want you to take this as discouragement, because it’s definitely a normal/human reaction to feel nervous, but we want to get past this stage asap.

Keep focused on the “end” and remind yourself that it is already done. It doesn’t matter what you do here, as long as you keep focused on the end, so don’t overthink it. You can time your responses if you want to, or you can reply right away. You can avoid certain topics or you can say whatever you’d like. Do whatever makes the most sense to you, just remind yourself that everything you do contributes to a successful outcome, no matter what.

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There’s a few good dating coaches on YouTube that specialize in getting back with an ex. These tend to be the best dating coaches in the business since it’s significantly harder reconciling with an ex than starting fresh elsewhere.

Look up Clay Mathews his main strategy is about building an emotional connection with whoever you want to date. It works on ex’s and it works on new relationships.

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Ill have to look more into it, because yes the nervous thing is preventing me from really feel calm and being in the mindset of how my end result is.
I did do some meditation and visualing last night.
So far, i haven’t been apply to reply back because of im worried about the outcome.

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I cant find his pages. Its not the football player right lol. I definitely agree its harder to reestablish a relationship after a falling out.

I know that the attitude of being too distant is just as bad as being too needy.

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Oh jeez I had the wrong last name it’s ‘Clay Andrews’ he actually has a few books on kindle unlimited I can read for free too I just noticed, which probably goes way more in depth than the channel does.

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I started watching some of his videos. It’s pretty good. Easy to watch and also he listed everything in playlists.

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Yeah I like how he actually helps people learn meaningful relationship skills instead of pick up artist techniques that can’t be sustained long term.

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So far, my ex has been messaging back at consistent rhythm. Im pretty sure im in the phase of the SP trying to trust me again and feel comfortable.

I think right now mixing LOA practices, for self love and being in the end with love is helping me stay calm.

I reallly like clay andrews advanced relational skills!
I’m just kind of bummed i haven’t really studied these topics before I was IN the relationship.
Yes the other person might have had issues, but i definitely had emotional baggage and unhealthy patterns to change.
He’s got such good insight for free.

I’m wondering how you encountered him and have you saved a relationship?

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I went through a rough break up years ago. Made all the classical mistakes. and then started researching where I went wrong to never make the same mistakes again.

Love magick and love is the one area I’ve always struggled with as a weakness. I will continue to work on it until it becomes a strength.

I’ve helped a few people reconcile their relationships. It’s way easier before post-break up damage happens. As far as I know they’re all still together.

Clay offers probably all of his information for free on the channel just majorly spread out through hundreds of videos with bits in each video. His last birthday stream was like an hour and a half. I’m going to read his books on kindle unlimited after I finish a magick book I’m invested in.

Oddly, the ex of mine that set me helping others with this, Contacted me this morning we’ve remained friends… so maybe someday :joy:

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This is always so far my downfall

I get too comfy and go back to old patterns when the going gets good and I get back in a relationship with so far my exes

Or just can’t be arsed with the magick side of things at that point

I have no regrets, I realised it is actually myself not them and often give myself another hurdle… I’ve done it on the same people actually several times… split, back, crash, split, back, crash… Heal…next target and same

Almost like I subconsciously want the challenge of it, perhaps I do…

Yeah, focus on maintaining yourself as an interesting person with a life that doesn’t need them, but is happy they’re around

And what’s been suggested already

Live in the end

Next time round I’m in a relationship I hope to break my cycles and use Magick continuously to improve my relationship, my ability to maintain one healthily and not duck out of continuous spiritual and magickal practice just because the going gets good

Currently going to use it to be a little more cautious and considering my own desires from a relationship at the outside instead of diving in and not wanting to get out even when it’s perfectly obvious I’m incompatible with a personality but enjoy their attention and I guess yeah I think I do have a subconscious desire for the challenge of love magick yet a subconscious way of making it impossible for myself to return once I figure out I don’t want THAT person back after having done it several times

Avoid my pattern I guess is my point! :laughing:

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I totally can relate to going after a challenge. The satisfaction of turning a bad relationship around for better is always nice.
But it doesn’t last long if there isn’t true changes in ourselves. Im dealing with that.

The insecurity and emotional dependency towards this specific relationship drove my ex away away.
The cycles can end, im sure there are patterns you dont do from ten years ago.

Today i texted my ex asking to video chat, mainly to get more connection and see if he was comfortable, and he rejected it. Saying he wasn’t comfortable, and i responded said i hoped hed trust me again… And he said dont count on it, he only wants to text occasionally.

It definitely hurt my feelings, which is a bad sign that i might not be ready to talk to him.
I really shouldn’t be bothered anymore.

I had feelings of panic, so i decided to meditate after that conversation exchange and deleted the skype chat off my phone.

Im not sure if i should continue the conversation today or even the next couple days because it hit a cord.
Clay andrews mentioned that when your ex pushes back, it shouldn’t be taken as complete “no hope”. He says the ex might need time to feel less resentment.

Ugh, idk, im a little bummed out now hours later truthfully. I am trying to practice living in the end, so it stings less.
I really hope it is a shorter path to reconciliation, but that text shows a blockage.

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I find cord cutting meditation really helpful at this point

I’ve been there, several times over - still eventually got them back and sometimes much faster than I expected from that point of oh shit I thought I was making progress here :sweat_smile:

Ignore his words. Don’t contact him. You can’t argue someone back into trusting you

You can on the other hand cut the cord, and put yourself back in the position of power where he is wanting you and you are his goal not the other way round

Feels a damn sight better too

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Yeah i think ill do that right now. I’m not in control of the situation.

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This!!! :heart:

Trying to get myself to this point too!

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It’s not hopeless, boundaries are just up. Having some contact gives you something to work with.

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Doesn’t cutting the cord eliminate the possibilities of a future with whomever you cut it from?

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Nope

Just gives you a clean slate really to work with

You let them go completely… to detach, to free yourself

continue manifesting your intention on the clean slate. You just stop feeling drained and pining anxiously for them

They start wanting you… nobody likes having admiration withdrawn, like taking a toy away from a baby.

Person senses that you detatched and comes after you usually wondering where the energy went, they start seeking your admiration.

Persuing you… You’re now pulling them

When before you were repelling them with a needy dependent energy

But I’m in the place of power then when they come looking for what they now miss, I can take them or leave them :rofl: … I become their goal

I can let them win me or not. I’m the damn prize!

has looked like the point of no return before but it never has been for me

Of course if you believe that you have completely severed all your hopes for good from a cord cutting meditation, that is generally what you’ll experience. So I would caution anyone not to do it if they believe that is the effect it will have. Start deciding you’ve cut it for good between you and manifesting that instead of them back and you will. Like don’t do it a zillion times might be sensible. Then you’re energy is on manifesting the cut cord more than the person clearly

But meh, create a new cord without the shit :woman_shrugging:

OR try a different method for detatching. It’s just something I have used and helped me. It’s not a compulsory technique

It’s never hopeless! Unless you think it is… and even then… just carry on hijacking/hacking your own subconscious with living in the end and it’s possible again. Simples

It’s simple tho following through till the end result, takes as long as it takes you

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This might be the missing step I failed to take at getting back with my ex, or even finding someone new with general lust magick…

I just set a reminder to come back to this tonight so I can look through my books to find a ritual I click with. I thank you🙏

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I haven’t done a new cord method, but it might be good to try when the relationship is at a better place.

For me right now, i want both of us to be healthy.
I definitely think slowly building the relationship back to comfortable levels is better than the chasing.

I noticed that he started messaging me on from the skype app on his phone versus the computer. This means he wants access to the conversation.
Sometimes i delete a response… i have a tendency to overthink things and just delete it cuz i dont want to wait for a message, and figured i wouldn’t talk to him today, and he messaged back saying if i said anything this morning.
Its all steady paced movement.

Outside of the texting back and forth, the LOA practices are so important to me now.
I’m dealing with on and off depression from pressures from college. I have hard classes and have bad anxiety.

Self love is something i don’t think i truly have. My inner dialogue is very poor. I grew up with really insecure and argumentive family.
I recommend anyone to work on affirmations daily, script and living in the end.

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