I don’t necessarily think of it in terms of “before and after.” Occult knowledge and practice, to me, can be a fluid and ongoing process.
I was quite interested in spiritual matters as a kid, and that included things outside acceptable mainstream thought.
The occult changed my life by opening up certain levels of awareness. I found the occult early, or perhaps it found me. Because of that, I knew that there was more going on than the mundane happenings in my hometown and its local religious groups.
The occult led me to ask, “What else is out there?” That’s an important question, especially if you live in a restrictive society.
There’s always something else just beyond the fringes of what you currently know and accept. To me, that’s where the occult leads. Some paths will lead nowhere at all, or to idiotic and fanatical theories, but some can change one’s life for the better.
It has helped me work through my own barriers and helped me gain confidence. Both emotionally and physically. I’m a lot less vulnerable than I used to be, and I’m not too scared of the unknown now. It has changed my life completely and although I still struggle, I’m in a much better place. I wouldn’t change this for anything.
Magick fucked up my life. I should have been a two or three times divorced, wealthy, principal solicitor in my own boutique law firm, with child endowment to avoid and a drinking problem. I used to into keyboard music. Whilst other young teen guys were fucking and sucking I was alone, going through eye-wateringly expensive, imported grimoires. When I wasn’t actually doing Magick (1995 to 2000) I realised too late that I was, but by then my life had been destroyed. And Aeonics! Of all the Magick to get sucked into!
I can’t really remember a “before”, and looking at other people my emotions are mixed. I have for many years thought that I’m…lucky, not sure it is quite the right word, privileged is not quite right either, but both express a bit of how I have felt. However, the price for all these perks are so high that I bloody deserve all of it. I do recall early childhood as perhaps being normal but everything started so early that it is impossible to remember. So, my answer would basically be : It changed my life, surely it must have, but I think it is just amped, like most people have good and bad things in their life but with the occult it is amplified.
I was an anxious loser. I had so many opportunities afforded to me, but I felt so guilty and angry at myself all of the time that I wasted my youth by letting them pass me by. I have gotten a grip on myself now and I am now living the lifestyle that I want to live. I undid a lifetime of damage in about 18 months. My mental health is also much better. I am more organized and I am able to take care of myself and live on my own (that was not the case before.)
I’ve always believed there was more to life than what we can see ourselves and had a strong interest in the paranormal, I really had my eyes opened by receiving some readings that turned out to be uncannily accurate and started exploring further. I’ve experienced great personal growth with invocation overcoming issues that other methods couldn’t erase, along with seeing how quickly both myself and others can be healed (thanks to Marbas).
Some of the posts on this forum have been life-changing too in helping me attain results and in the experiences I’ve had. Getting Asmodeus to ‘turn up’ was an unforgettable experience and helped fuel my interest in evocation, I wouldn’t have done it without the knowledge I found here.
It simply changed me drastically for the better. Seems like if I’d never would have gone into the occult and started searching, preparing, practice after practice before doing anything, witnessing my own results I wouldn’t have such a clear mind today. Seems simple as hell as to have a clear mind but I had a lot of shit that came my way over the past year that we’re heavy on me. Finding back my self love has been the biggest thanks I’ve got back from such an amazing work experience with Lilith. To think demons no matter what will always have your back at the least time you would probably ever expect it. Kinda wish it could be same for so called old “friends” that fortunately for me are in the past now thankfully.
All of my spirits that I worked all took part into getting me where I needed to be today. Here we are in June going into summer and even have the ability of having an option going out on a vacation a couple of friends and I are planning in mid-June. With everything that I learned over the past year I was blessed to have found another similar job I had before after COVID had fucked everything up last year. Everything since then has just been the same as it was way before…“normal” But a far far better "normal" than ever before if that make sense in a way. I could finally get out of the damn bed and look foward to all days that came foward. Been this way ever since. I’m honored to have worked with such amazing entities and still do to this day in my own spare time.