Well I’m here to present myself with my case…Yawn… Yeah, I know. Another newbie case!
I am here with the many common issues as most of the fellow newbies. With an exception, I am “gravely sick” according to the medical community. I put this in quotes, because I know it’s a fuckn lie. If I keep going the path I’ve been following, with great probability, I will have a couple of limbs chopped off. From then on, most likely I will face death.
FYI, I am not 100% new to magick. I started dabbling in magick over ten years ago. I started with Bardon’s Initiation Into Hermetics, as well as some Chaos magick. I was able to manifest one big ass situation I was craving for… and when I got it I dropped it like a hot potato. I was baffled and scared. Thinking I didn’t deserve it, and that I should go back to Christ!
OUCH!
Long story short, I have been incredibly frustrated and unfulfilled for the last 6 years. And three years ago I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that may lead to (some) amputation(s). I have been playing (and doing a great performance) the role of Sorry Ass Victim. Pathetic.
That will change now. Well, it has begun already. I plan to recover my health and strength. And I am reclaiming my very own Personal Power. Whether I live a long life or not does not matter to me anymore. If I can live only one year of Real Powerful Life, I am fulfilled and can leave this physical plane with no worries. Give me Real Life or nothing! I will not settle for anything less than that.
Well, I am aware that what I want will not come in easy. I will have to work hard for that despite my current illness. There is a lot to be learnt. There are a lot of sacrifices ahead of me. But I am sure I will make it. Knowing there are communities of like-minded people is certainly welcomed. Having the back up of the BALG forum community is reassuring. Thank you for reading! And may my life-long journey begin.
Best regards,
Chostard
Note: I am not disclosing my illness. I want to avoid anyone (or anything) planting (consciously or unconsciously) seeds of doubt in my mind. I am hoping everyone may understand. If it is imperative for you to know my illness you can pm me and will certainly reply.
Hey, congrats on starting magick again, its hard start back up again, i should know, but ive been doing energy work while i stoped with spirits, but im back on the horse too.
If you need anything pm me and i can help to the best of my abilities
Yes, congrats on getting back into it. I myself had taken quite a hiatus from doing real practice and work. Now that I’m back into it, I am determined to take it to fruition this time no matter what.
Brother, or sister, whichever you may be. You’d be amazed what some of these Spirits can do. Give them a chance, take the leap, and see what happens. You want Miracles, you came to the right place.
Oh Florry, thank you for you encouraging words. I will certainly keep you in mind for this long journey!
FWIW, I think I will get back to the very basics, with Bardon’s “I. i. Hermetics” as well as William Walker Atkinson’s “Mind Power”. Concentration and meditation seem to be the basic foundation of any Magickal Path. I started with D. Brand’s “72 Angels of Magick” back in March, and G. Winterfield’s “Demons of Magick” just last week. Well, this last two books at least reminded me how real and powerful Real Magick can be.
I am convinced this will give me very basic but sufficient foundation to then take it where I want. I am seriously considering LHP. Very interested on some of BALG’s products (courses & books), especially Eric’s work as well as A. Mason’s work. My initial plan is to get proficient in basics, and then go with Lucifer and maybe Lilith too. Oh Lilith, so delicate and feminine, yet SO powerful and fatal! It’s so much attraction and respect that I feel for this spirit (I am a male, if it makes any difference).
Anyway, I am certainly open to suggestions and opinions on how to follow my path.
Siconyte- Thank you. Yes, I am a 39 y/o male and in a few words YES, I am here to work a miracle or at least die trying. I have nothing to lose, since I already lost a lot over this past 6 years. I am definitely in the right place.
Hey veneficus,
It’s great to know people are really Waking Up. Everybody deserves to have a meaningful and empowering life. I guess it’s just up to the individual. Congrats on your comeback!
Thank you luxfero. Yeah, I apologize. I just made a post on that specific thread linking it to this one. I should have been more careful when trying to follow etiquette.
I’d suggest getting in contact with Marbas and/or Belial soon.
Especially Marbas. I got an intuitive impression he would be interested in working with you on the illness and other things (couldn’t specify what, gonna have to find out with him), and Belial to help you live to the fullest, and with getting back in touch with yourself.
Wow… didn’t really thought of it that way. LOL…(I didn’t meant to be too pedantic or anything of that sort).Thanks.
I’ve always considered Magick to be a means to Personal Power. Ever since reading Carlos Castaneda 20 years ago, those two words just stick to my mind.
Yes, yes, I am thinking on Marbas as well as Haagenti…
Like I mentioned, first came my dissatisfaction, anger and frustration and then came the illness. I’ve no doubt in my mind that my emotions and weak mindedness manifested in my illness. Perhaps I was so emotionally and mentally vulnerable that maybe some negative entities took advantage of my situation.
So thanks to this awesome post I am thinking to start with Haagenti, so he can help me strengthen my mind and emotions, and ask Marbas to help my make physical changes on my body to regain physical strength. Both mental/emotional and physical strength should go together (I believe). It will be then and only then, that slowly but surely I may start to get my physical health back.
Just like on that “Playboy” post, the easiest most intuitive choice would be to call on someone like Sitri or Sallos. But if you have the social skills of a flower pot, well, you may be likely to manifest squat. So start with what is required to get to your goal. Start with the basics, be diligent, and don’t despair (easier said than done-I just bit my tongue).
Just last week I called on Great King VINE. I did it with the purpose of having him help me improve my magick. I believe that this is where we should all start (right?). That is why I’m here. At the very least I am having a tremendous change in energy and mentality in the form of enthusiasm and physical energy, just this last three days. Coincidence? Not likely, for this last 3 years I’ve been nothing but a ‘dead body’ alive. Just taking enough painkillers to sedate me and have me bedridden with the purpose of staying away of reality and the world. So like I mentioned, I realize again that Magick is real, and what I didn’t realize was how these spirits can work so fast and powerful.
I will keep in mind your suggestion of Belial too. Thanks bro.
I can feel the strength of your intent with your declarations.