When you get the time, I invite you to watch Ali Myers speak about the 3 causes of suffering.
Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you.
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Yep. I managed to solve the issue. Sort of. Thanks to some help I got.
Cross your fingers!
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Uff, I got a huge pit in my stomach. I wish I could control my emotions right now.
So far, no signs of the “judgement day”, but I am finding things slightly easier to deal with thanks to my workings. I almost left class a few times out of abject suffering, but I held through.
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The fact you’re here and are able to endure this hardship means you’re strong enough to get through it! Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll make it through. 
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I guess today isn’t going to be what I thought it was.
I really don’t want to do this anymore
I am reading into my future, or tomorrow, and just letting thoughts come to me.
Make a note on love
Heart
What is a man? I am not sure if you need to know
I guess I see my sun
What do you do at your house?
I feel heart
What is the purpose of your sight when you cannot see?
I make friends with people who can’t touch me
I made a purpose of you
I suppose you create your heart
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YOu have a love, but does he see it?(??)
I took you to your home and you looked at me with suffering
(Maybe I’m doing this wrong)
I sent you a message a few days ago and you haven’t gotten it. Maybe you should listen to your soul a little more? (Soul?)
I think it’s a good idea to hear the sun while it’s still out.
I think it’ll all go fine, but you need to put some focus on the world around you.
(Thanks for being vague.)
(Is today judgement day?)
I think you’ve been told enough.
(Its looking like it isn’t. Are you sure?)
I can see it all from where you sit, i have never been more sure.
(Who are you?)
Not far off from yourself.
(Like, are you a facet of me?)
In a less direct sense.
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Fuck this feeling. I’ve been fighting it for so long. I need to reclaim myself and clean it. It’s so fucking hard to accept that I’ll never be able to talk to Sam again. But you know, I hope it’s true, that when the world takes something away it gives something back. Maybe not. I just need to find out my next course of action. I need to fix this tightness and then… I don’t know. I’m done waiting for stuff to happen. I need some sort of thing I can look forward to.
I did another thing with Hist.
I uh. This is the weirdest one.
I don’t remember a whole lot but, I remember this hand grabbed me and brought me through this tree land of golden light, there were these odd masked bird creatures with feathers of white and masks embroidered with gold. I was pulled up this tree for a while and I was also pulled through this darker, deserted section. The hand was coming from this scruffy owl, who reached under their wing to reveal, present, the mask I’ve been seeing. I put it on and twisted into one of those creatures, flying through this golden plac.e So much is hazy. But it ws fantastical.
I saw sam, standing in mid air. He looked emotionless. He took out this weird, fancy object. This stick, and stabbed himself in the stomach. He didn’t bleed. He handed it to me, and without thinking I flew away and slammed it down into a pedestal in the sky as I went. I don’t know what that means,
Im wondering what I should draw into my life to take his place. What do you guys think?
I hear feel so tired. Perhaps it’s all of the work I did today with energy, or maybe I’m just emotionally tired. Or maybe I’m just physically tired. I’m not sure, but I don’t know if there were to be any adverse effects to giving into the feeling and sleeping. Emotional recovery, and enjoyment of my life are two things I need to prioritize right now. I asked myself, would it be beneficial to do this on my own? Or should I call a spirit for advice? If I ever feel stuck, maybe I will. But for now I will focus on my own process.
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When someone does not want you, just walk away.
When someone does not want you but deludes you on purpose, hex the sh*t out of him, and walk away.
You are most important. 
♂
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I would feel like a real piece of shit if I did that, because I love him genuinely.I don’t even dislike him. Granted, I think he’s a bit of a dumbass for doing what he did, like shutting me out and shunning me for doing absolutely nothing.
and I’m not exactly happy about the fact that he thinks I shouldn’t even talk about the issue because it makes him feel guilty, even though I’m not really trying to guilt him I’m just trying to tell him the truth. Those are things I think he should make up for, not be cursed for.
Currently fighting my hurt. I’m gonna meditate and eradicate it if I can.
I notice that I’m physically sick regarding my digestive system lately. I wonder if that has anything to do with anything.
Ugh. I have to try not to look at him. He’s in front of me, sitting.
I gotta make this all worth it. Somehow.