Having trouble with Visualizations

Ok: So I’ll try to be more orderly here in my thought so others can follow along. :sweat_smile:

I’ve been trying, for a long time to visualize certain colors & energies during meditations
(such as Gold/Solar/Divine Universal Energy) in various forms instructed & suggested to me (e.i. a golden orb of light above your head bathing you in Golden energy & so forth).

Yet, that’s about as far as I get because while it starts out all well & good, when it comes to breathing in the gold light it turns into the visualizations of me breathing in what seems in my mind to be “dark matter” or “(black) void” sparkling with gold flecks, like you may see in certain mineral deposited.
It’s then that I’ll hold my breath, become annoyed, open my eyes & give up entirely.

I don’t want to visualize that: I don’t want to breath in black.

Some times I try to visualize the basic chakra colors within the chakra points & I keep getting mental images of black within the colors also.

I know black & void can mean many things & isn’t necessarily bad: sometimes it just means something hidden. But, I’m worried that it could mean some negative/toxic energies are lingering in my energy bodies/fields… which ironically only makes for more negative emotions.

I do my best to apply the teachings of one of my teachers (“it’s not a matter of good verses evil, positive against negative, but a prosses of big syblings taking care of little sybling”).

I try, but I feel like such a failure.

I figure I just need to ignore it & work on basic color field visualizations to sharpen & strengthen both my strength & skill in this area.

I don’t know: Comments? Suggestions? Perspectives? Anyone?

Thank you for suffering through my babble. :sweat_smile::pray:

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Your post is everywhere xD I’ll try to give a response. There is a lot of worries coming from here.

The first thing I thought is that it might be a ‘focus’ issue. I am not sure how advanced a practitioner of meditation you are, but I would advise practicing on something that will focus your mind and attention to one point. Like just breathing. In and out. No need to hold your breath or do a certain count. Dont worry about energy work, or seeing colors. Just feel the breath and focus on that. See if you can do that, just breathe, for 5 mins. Then move to 10. If you don’t want to focus on your breath, you can use an external object as well. IE- a candle. Just watch the flame. The point is to train your mind and your ability to focus.

Getting frustrated is not going to help. You should be gentler with yourself. In my training, I was not even introduced to applying color to chi until the very end of my second year. Colors are powerful. A lot of people have trouble with visualization and holding specific visualizations for a period of time. Things warp and change because the mind is not stilled.

Before you start some energy work, it may help to have a ritual to cue your Sub-C into what you are going to do. It could be something as simple as taking three deep breaths, or putting on a certain track of ambient noise, to having a cup of tea (which can be charged to help cleanse and clear your physical and energetic bodies). Just be sure it is something you can do every time before you practice. You will find having a ritual will allow yourself to get in the groove and fall into an altered state more quickly because your waking mind and unconscious mind both are in agreement as to what is going to happen next. Its like priming the pump.

Everyone picks up psychic shit all day. Its part of being alive and human. Impurities exist within us all, even the most dedicated practitioners.

At least you are recognizing the negative feedback loop you got going for yourself. You’re eating yourself xD So stop it.

That aside, I think you should take a step back and just breathe. Literally. There is a lot of anxiety and perfectionism gleaming through this post. You are being too hard on yourself. Visualizations are not perfect, but they only get better with practice. Having a sharp mind, hence the meditation I suggested at the beginning of the post, will help you get the colors right.

You may even want to try some basic visualization exercises, such as picturing an apple in your head for 5 mins straight. Basic fun things. Have fun. Don’t give into frustration. Give yourself a chance. Then even more chances. You’re worth it, as is your practice.

This may be boring advice, but I try not to look too deeply into things (OMG its black!!) especially when you are just beginning a practice. A lot of the times, the practitioner is their own worst enemy, and that can be compounded by other feeding into that belief as well.

If you are interested in energy work, there are ways to do it without working with chakras or colors for that matter. A practice I greatly benefit from, and I advertise like mad on here, is qi gong. Specifically the zhan zhuang style (though there are hundreds of different ones and each have their own quirks. I have too many books xD). It is easy to learn, works the entire energy (and physical) body, you picture balloons (how fun!), and you will be able to feel the effects of your efforts within 40 days of daily practice. Its simplicity is what makes it great.

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“At least you are recognizing the negative feedback loop you got going for yourself. You’re eating yourself xD So stop it.”

Lol: I know my mind was like…aaaaaahhhh :tired_face:… And I do eat myself often. I’m an old habit at perfectionism. It’s not healthy. :mask:

I’ll try your methods & do my best to be gentle & kinder to myself… And not read too much into such things (if at all). And I know all about psychic slime (as I like to call it). Perhaps attempting these excercises when I’m tired, worn & drained isn’t the best idea to start out with.

Thank you so much
:pray:

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Learn to do this and apply it during meditations. In fact, apply it as much as you can during the day.

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Also work mostly on the ‘feel’ rather than see…

Example… Get a, plain paper. Paint it orange… Get to your meditation space… Focus on the colour… Notice any feeling you have towards it… Try and capture it in your minds eye… Then when you, start, meditating on your sacral chakra… Try and replicate that… Also try and scour YouTube… For meditation music… Esp the Hindu ones… I like sadhguru mantras… That are nice.

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Perhaps consider that, rather than forcing yourself to do something exactly “by the book”, you could let your subconscious guide you. The things you visualise are imbued with the meaning that you yourself give them.

Work with your vision rather than against it. Perhaps it is only a matter of deciding that what you see is useful and to your own benefit. Or in other words, instead of thinking you’re not seeing things the “right” way, and becoming discouraged, change your thinking so that you feel the rightness of whatever it is you see. Let it happen, work with it, and simply alter your perspective.

Instead of:

Maybe try: I welcome the black of the primordial void. I breathe in the essence of formless creation, the eternal wellspring. I imbue myself with the potential of all things yet unrealised.

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:thinking: yes this is annoying! Try it under the sun! You will feel the light burning your head! The visualising and feeling both works! It helps when you feel it physically and then replicate it! Also meditating under the shower helps too! Then when you meditate you can just replicate that feeling from the sun shining on you or the shower washing you! Then take that feeling to the chakras you want! Not by visualisation but by feeling the movements, sensations, temperatures, and muscle tensions! With each breath you feel it not seeing it!
If its the visualisation colours that’s bothering you ignore your mind and ask your body how it feels? Tummy ache? Heartburn? Headache? Thats how you can tell what chakras out of balance!
Working on the heart center can feel like you are having a panic attack until you feel an explosion and everything goes away! Dont fight the feelings but go with them unless its too painful to handle then you know something is off and you need to ground!

:thinking: try repeatedly the statement of what you are doing while doing it! If the image isn’t what you want then repeat your statement again! “I am breathing light”! Statements help directing your naughty mind :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Hope this helps and good luck

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