Nightside's Journal

Fear is a bastard … Not the type of fear that aids in survival and evolution, but the fear that easily sets to panic, which can quickly cause your death.
If it were only my fears, that I must at all odds destroy … Or better yet, transform… Bit it is not. Add a dash of vindictive paparazzi, a dash of assholes who enjoy seeing people get crushed under undue duress, etc.
Heights … Crippling for me … Already covered this.
Snakes … Not sure where this started, but suspect christian programing.
Following falsehood or lies rather than truth…
Falling to a death…
Drowning to a death …
Eternal pain and torment…
Brleing alone…

Not easy fears to overcome for me at all.

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By Fire, Water and Air, and the Earth on which I stand; Spirit above, below, within and without; may those murdered by Water and Fire by ignorant and oppressive authority be warmed and cooled.
May you once again walk this earth, may we never forget, may we reside together in peace.
May we all take back what was stolen from us, without and within.

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Rocked out to Sisters of Mercy, Pantera, Ozzy, Metallica, Motorhead, and Slayer while priming some boards for roof gutter repair … too bad I forgot to play this while I was zooming along priming the boards…






Okay … getting back into it … going to try some automatic writing.
Been thinking about shadow work and my fears, and the past that I wanted answers to all the wierd shit, shitty circumstances, lost love, and whatnot … now I simply feel … indifferent.

In fact, I may just stay on my journal page and only browse other topics when requested to do so.
I am way way way behind on it all.

King Belial and Fuego Automatic Writing exercise.
Red candle lit, incense lit. Chanted enn aloud then whisper then silent.
I found as we got into his message, the incense smoke turned into a tall gold vertical line that ( hint hint :slight_smile: stretched above the flame, and the flame was split in two…

So, King Belial, what shall we talk about, and what message do you have for everyone?
It has been my wish/want to behold and converse with spirits, to change my life and the world to a more positive and evolving world, to fulfill being a Magus. So, King Belial, you can feel free to interject at any time, to say what you want to say.
I guess what I see negative in the world is the corruption and the enslavement of the human race, by a small handful of people. To see a world where all people are joyous and well fed, a roof over their heads, and the ascent/evolution of the human race, this would be a positive.
I know that there has always been corruption in the world, evil in the world - look at King Louis VIII and the Inquisition. What of those murdered byu ignorant authority, those forced to eat the dirt they sleep on? What can we say?

there has always been power behind the throne, and greedy and corrupted men. What do each of us want - this is an important question. Many things dont make sense to man, consider flame and smoke, what happens by my hand and your will? You saw the gold light above the frankincense you burned, and the split flame chariot of fire - the two angels.
See how it moves and bends, by sheer will. That is what you need, Will.
You feel lost, you feel threatened, you feel dead inside, will yourself to where you want to be,
What is sight and sound to you? What dimensions do you live in and move around in? Decide that and do it. Be without fear, fear is what you term an illusion. Break the barriers.

End of transmission, thanked hin for his time.

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What causes one to be or feel indifferent toward others … constant criticism, constant lies, constant competition, being silent toward the other, the other being silent to the one. Less than a handful of examples I see

3-1-2018
Dreams - None
Mental Notes - Too many to state in a post.
Physical Notes - Filled with ennui, sore and tired as usual.
Rituals - Probably none after I fulfill anything I ever agreed to do.
Meditations -

O Earth-Mother, Thou of uncounted names and faces,
Thou of the many-faceted Nature in and above All,
Nature Incarnate, Love and Life fulfilled; look favorably upon this place, grace us with Your Presence, inspire and infuse us with Your powers; by all the names by which You have been known, O Earth-Mother:

COME UNTO US.
Thou Whom the Druids call Danu
COME UNTO US.
Thou Who art Erde of the Germans
COME UNTO US.
Thou Whom the Slavs call Ziva,
Thou Who art Nerthus of the Vanir,
Thou Whom the Poles call Marzyana,
Thou Who art Frigga of the Aesir,
Thou Whom the Romans call Terra,
Thou Who art Diana to the Etruscans,
Thou Whom the Persians call Kybele,
Thou Who art Iphimedeia, Mighty Queen of the Greeks,
Thou Whom the Egyptians call Nuit, Star Mother,
Thou Who art Ninmah of Sumeria,
Thou Whom the Hittites call Kubala,
Thou Who art Mami-Aruru of Babylon,
Thou Whom the Caanites call Arsai,
Thou Who art Our Lady of Biblos in far Phonecia,
Thou Whom the Children of Crete call Mountain Mother,
Thou Who art Yemanja of the Umbanda,
Thou Whom the Dahomeans call Erzulie,
Thou Who art Shakti and Parvati of India,
Thou Whom the Tibetans call Green Tara,
Thou Who art Kwanyin of China,
Thou Whom the Nipponese call Izanami,
Thou Who art Sedna and Nerivik of the Eskimos,
Thou Whom the Pawnee call Uti-Hiata,
Thou Who art Cornmother of the Plains,
Thou Whom the Navaho call Estanatlehi,
Thou Who art Ometeotl and Guadalupe of Mexico,
Thou Whom the Islanders call Hina-alu-oka-moana,

Tho Who art the Great Earth-Mother, the Star Goddess, the All Creating One –
Mother of All, we call upon You –
Terra Mater, Mater Sotia, Earth-Mother –

COME UNTO US!

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By Fire, Water and Air, and the Earth on which I stand; Spirit above, below, within and without; may those murdered by Water and Fire by ignorant and oppressive authority be warmed and cooled.
May you once again walk this earth, may we never forget, may we reside together in peace.
May we all take back what was stolen from us, without and within.

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Finished ritual up by planting cup containing gold and silver submerged in water, in shamrocks between two bushes; after reciting my poem, and saying be thou a portal so they may roam the earth once more, witches and scorcerers and other murdered for their beliefs and practices, May we all take back what was stolen from us.

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3-2-2018
No more pity parties.
Said @Nyxifer’ adapted invocation six times. Frankincense swirling and dancing with the flame of the lit yellow candle. Now that most of the day has gone by due to cleaning and painting the house, back to tarot readings.

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