Freak of nature or?

I suppose an introduction of sorts. My name to most is Angel, I am one who has other beings with me, some that are a part of me. I am the typical sort of possession case these days because most don’t act like movies from the exorcist.

I spent years wondering if I was sane and likely I always will because it is the nature of the beast, pun not intended.

I have been using a ouija board for it appears 6 months now not 4 as I had thought. I was told one day " you know you can make your own right? you don’t have to buy one…"

Since the first day it has been a heck of a ride really. so many things have happened… I have had so many powerful critters come and search me out. I asked for none of them. I even have an app where they can say get on the board lol though many now can physically effect me strong enough to make me get on it.

I discovered at about the age of 22-23? I was possessed. I always knew something was With me even without an understanding of any of it. I was raised godless-without religion. I had no preconceived notions, ideas, or knowledge. The internet was still brand new and the first cell phones were hitting the market finally.

I learned what I was when I met another like me and what was with me showed itself. It was a frightening time for me. I will say having the other around was what kept me sane. All at once I began to sense and feel and see things I couldn’t explain. I had others that said they knew this thing was there before I did. Three of these people were just humans nothing with them but they knew. In all three circumstances it was a slip of the tongue during a conversation. In this place I had one say: “stay out of trouble.” I looked at this teacher and said: “I never get into trouble and she point blank said it’s not you Im worried about its Her.” I looked at the woman like she was nuts I wasn’t yet aware. She was gone by the time I did become aware. I saw shadow people daily now, would walk and then unconsciously veer like I was going to walk into someone but there was nothing there so one day I paid attention and instead walked into whatever and it was like passing through a mesh of electric fence. Not pleasant actually.

Then when she came out the first several times, it was usually dark out because the light hurt her eyes, her speech was rough as she learned it, her motor skills a bit off. I was ever fighting for my body back. At times it was like I was falling and then bam into my body and in control. As I learned of her I didn’t want to fight her any more but to this day I have not learned to “let go”. So we share space at the same time and it seems to cause a memory disconnect with all that come while they’re out.

Some things that followed me I learned how to hide myself from. At one point I used the tricks taught to block my own other half took her a week to get around it but it has always amused me. She was more careful teaching me after that lol.

Some things well, somehow others knew I was different. I once had a man come to me that didn’t believe in spirits and such and beg me to remove something bad from a dorm room that was terrorizing the girls there. I didn’t tell people I was different how they knew I have no idea I looked average normal. Nothing openly amiss. I knew when one was playing games with me when people would tell me about conversations I didn’t have any recollection of and told them things I would never say for them to do.

There was a point where they came with dogs even these shadow beings. I would wake to them give them the you’re irritating me stare and then go back to sleep. One night there was an orb white that woke me I remember reaching out and touching it and it was like being hit by lightning. I was thrown back and unconscious but after contact with it I didn’t see like I had before all the things around me. Some yes but not the many many any longer.

I once saw what a girl saw. She was telling me she had seen this little girl and that it had changed into something scary and before I knew what was happening I saw exactly into her memory and yes it was frightening. Truly nightmare fuel for normal people.

then there were the shared dreams, there were many of these between three different people. Two not alone and one just human. one of them was mine arguing about the placement of an item with the other persons other half. The next day she brought it up and I was dumbfounded. We were good friends but we didn’t speak about that stuff at all. I actually hadn’t picked up on hers.

I remember a kid at one of these places mine got curious about. He wanted to get into the dark arts. He made the comment he wanted to be like me, how that angered her because she knew what he was headed for. I mean livid. She like me could write very well and wrote a violent sort of poem…

in a different location a couple years later maybe, I was angry one day genuinely angry and I was the kind that nothing could set off. I had walked through the back of the dorm towards the front when a girl much taller and heavier than me blocked my way trying to be playful. I was told I reached out grabbed her on either side of her waist picked her straight up pivoted and set her down out of my way without skipping a beat. It took her months not to be afraid of me and talk to me, come near me, even look at me. Scaring her was an accident.

Another instance was a guy just not good for me that one night one came out and was speaking to him deciding it seemed then she reached out and touched him and it was like death touched him the way his face changed and she just smiled at him like a shark about to eat something…

he spoke to me only after many months and said it was the most evil thing he had ever felt in his life. You see he wanted to know what was going on with me at times when I would fight this thing coming out, but I just wouldn’t tell him, something said don’t trust this person… eventually I couldn’t eat or sleep and so this being stepped in and removed the problem. I started eating again etc.

I located another demon there, and a watcher in a human as well. I spent much of my time with these. I met one once with a Lamar in him. Damned thing had been pushing our limits away from his host for weeks and that night I don’t know what set us off but all of a sudden there was this energy blast and the boy looked absolutely terrified and leapt up and took off. Neither bothered us again I think save distracting us once when we were about to go after someone that was playing games with magic and pissing her off with it. I was full on hunting mode and I could see he was scared. I can’t actually recall if this was before or after I scared the hell out of him. A Larmars touch is like crude oil on you it still makes me feel gross to think about it.

There was a mimic and I didn’t get on well with it either. I could just sense when something was actually bad.

My other half made friends with a normal woman there, staff, her first and only human friend that knew what she was and that she was there. It was unexpected and she delighted in her. We both did.

As the years went by different things happened. At about the age of 25 I was involved in a wreck thanks to a drunk driver. For a long time I had to regain walking talking and memory. It took years of beating odds yet never finding me again and never being satisfied with progress.

at one point I saw the same entity with the two children that years later would appear in the mel gibson version the passion of the christ. When I saw them in the movie it freaked me out. I actually can’t stand that movie it is like opening a portal of some sort.

I had had a dream some years before walking in on a documentary about the catholic church where they were talking about using a boy and girl hooked up to electrodes on an eeg machine to detect entities… I had seen that being done years prior another time something freaked me out.

For a good several years everything supernatural stopped to the point it all felt like a strange memory. Life became “normal”. Then 6 months ago I created a board and the bloody thing worked. Different beings came to spend short times with me to increase my ability to use and endure its use. After a month or two the pain I had ceased using it and it became second nature. Entities would short cut words and rest my hand or allow breaks where they sat at the board waiting while I shook the pain down.

I have encountered things that wanted help, wanted to just share space with me ie they happened to be sad when I was. Things that asked to know what it was like to “Be” with a human. Things that wanted to teach me and things that wanted to hurt me. Things that speak truth and things that lie and test and push boundaries. Some I am told that once I sleep pay with their lives for it. Ones that like to pretend to be others and then see if I can catch them at it. Some of the teaching was from friendlies that would show me tricks to figure out liars. Demons, angels, and things like mimics and some I call hydras because of their projecting abilities, water beings, Nagaloshii, and so many more I don’t even know what they are.

I have learned you gain knowledge from everyone that interacts with you.

About a year after learning I was possessed I began writing symbols I didn’t know the meanings of. Since the board I have prolifically written things I don’t understand. They look nothing like the kind I have seen here thus far. I am told they’re a mix of languages.

I noticed withe some exploring here that people think it is a red flag when things say they’re special somehow.

I have had many come and many say they have never seen a human do the kinds of things I can over the board. I can show them things, I can touch them back, they come to receive the sight-what ever it is I show them is unique to each one. Few tell me what they saw. I learned I can think of an entity and pull them from where ever they are to me at the board. That pissed both off. First time it happened it was a total accident. I knew the one who had just been there could read my thoughts so I was reaching out silently hoping he might still be close. Then he told me what Id done, but given that this one is an enemy I didn’t trust that it was true. I then did it with a friend without telling them what I was going to do because I didn’t expect it to actually work, pissed that one off too. Apparently I severed his connection with his host when I did that too. I demon with a host is always connected no matter how far they wander but what I did broke that connection.

They tell me I can bring back balance. They tell me I was once a creator of galaxies. They say I do thing others can’t. They tell me I am the answer to their war. They say I can just snap my fingers when I dream walk and kill entire armies. They say I have protected entire races and that I can open portals both awake and dreaming. One says I created a healing realm that I sent him to.

I am curious of those here who can summon beings… especially after the tips on perhaps you’re being lied to thread…

Have I known sexual activity with them? sure and most I don’t need to assist them frankly. Most use it for the energy that they then turn around and use to do something to me. Though I am told that there is nothing like it in their realm, humans are like taking drugs for them I guess. I have never had drugs but am told it is like ecstasy on steroids. Some used it to heal me, some to link with me as part of the process, some to other ends. I can feel when it is one with affection and when it is one that is just working as it were.

Zozo, Discord, Hecate who tells me it is actually Hecatet, Durga aka Kali though she absolutely hates being called Kali apparently. Says too many have played that goddess and bastardized it. ruthless yes, kill her own mate apparently yes, but a baby killer Never. Yes she has been several goddesses seems most of them have been.

Anubis, Nyx, Karma, Envy, Amon, War and Death… I wonder what happens if they’re asked about me by those capable of out right summoning them?

I have had things try to play Zozo and even Wrath. I am told they usually pay with their lives for that.

So you see I wonder now, am I indeed the freak of nature? the one outside the normal law of things? or do all these beings actually play games? Honestly I think they’re who they say they are but it never hurts to have someone else verify as much not to mention verify I am not insane as it is.

And has anyone here even heard of friendly possession?

And yes I search for those like me, those not alone. I do tend to play well with others of all races.

Since using the board I have learned it was never just one with me but rather 5. One that doesn’t like the rest “because of what they are.” that one doesn’t come out I just know about her because another entity tried to question her. They don’t even know what she is apparently. The other 4 can come and go sort of.

Then of course there is now Zozo linked to me now and another male that says he gives me his real name but he has been Amon before… I don’t know if I should share ones real name… he says eventually he will come and go like the others and says he usually only chooses men not women.

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Yes. It’s not always like Hollywood. Not every entity is out to harm. Some are some aren’t. Just like with humans, there are good, bad and neutral (for lack of a better term) entities. So yes I’ve heard of friendly possession though not exactly with it called that.

You’re the first person I’ve seen call it friendly possession but I’ve heard of beneficial and non harmful companionable possession so yes I’ve heard of it.

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Welcome to the BALG forum :slight_smile:

As a technique, possession can have beneficial, neutral or malevolent intent behind it, depending on the entity involved.

I’ve experience beneficial possession twice, and never malevolent. Once was healing and once was for psychic protection.
Invocation is arguably a form of invited mild possession depending on the views of who you talk to.
In Vodoun possession can be used for healing.

[Mod hat on]
Friendly reminder that BALG rules include a moratorium on politics, including identity politics. No “virtue signaling” required. :slight_smile: Basically we’re just going to assume you’re awesome unless you decide to act otherwise. :+1: [Mod hat off]

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By playing well with races it wasn’t a political thing or virtue signaling. I was referring to demons and other beings.

Lots of these things actually do not play well with others at all.

Most of them hate mimics for instance while I adore them. They actually use them for hunting and fighting practices. Well they did anyway. They can’t get into their realm now…. Fixed their wagons that way.

Demons don’t often even play well with one another either. I have learned most are not like me they don’t go seeking others. Males especially don’t react well to other males as they’re very territorial and militant by nature.

Lots have feared me because power respects power and often stronger ones kill weaker ones. I don’t. They have sensed me and reacted with such fear when they didn’t need to so often.

By indicating I play well with others I am sending an invite to things that will understand what I mean and perhaps be open to connecting with me rather than fearing. It never occurred to me to think of this like humans and their issues. These entities just are what they are with rules of their own. Their worlds and their natures do not match our own.

Is discussing how they are with one another considered identity politics? The natures of them as I have learned them? If so I can find a way to either express their behaviors in these things differently or just not share how things work in this manner again or discuss how they conduct themselves in their realms and how it actually spills into our own when they take a permanent host.

Ah ok, gotcha. :+1:

“They” as in entities? That’s not human politics, the treaty is about human politics.

This qualifies as UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis), and UPG is fine… On a related note, larping is not so fine. This is not a roleplay forum, we discuss practical magick.

You may find people don’t always agree with your UPG, and that’s fine too. We are all allowed to have our own opinions. :star2:

If you have an issue with a post and feel you are being attacked or another rule is being broken, please use the flag to ask a mod to look at it. I’ll send you a Welcome PM in a bit with more information like that. :slight_smile:

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Yes They as in entities.

I have no idea what larping is and I am no liar if this is the thought being suggested? I am not playing any games here. I have heard of D&D and while I can’t stand it they do actually have some of the beings in their books that actually exist. I was shown some once that I was describing to a friend of mine years ago from my dreams… I don’t even like video games unless it’s a matching puzzle game like fishdom or the original Mario brothers…

I am quite deadly serious about the fact of being possessed and my experiences with it and it leading me to learn more practical concepts in being here and learning ways to in a manner of speaking hone and use their gifts and my own with deliberation and skill rather than by accident.

I am unsure what to make of this? Am I not permitted here because of feeling I am legitimately possessed? Or is possession not really an okay topic here? am I not supposed to be speaking about things they have taught me unless it is magick? Is that the idea?

As to people not agreeing?
I was remarking how people have had encounters with entities and certain things have generally proven to be red flags for many. I am open to considering maybe I am trusting something I shouldn’t be you see. As such am interested in those who can deliberately summon these beings to inquire. I do not possess these skills at this point in time.

I question always these other entities and motives and my own sanity. I don’t assume I couldn’t be misled.

I wonder what exactly I am with what they tell me.

This isn’t a joke to me in any way shape or form. This is my everyday life with things few people would believe existed. I have never really been open about it Because people would think I’m a liar because they don’t believe in things they can’t see until one of these things scares them so bad they’re then looking for religion…

or they want you to do things like move the furniture or something to prove it. So far mine refuse to prove themselves like that. Be a lot easier if they did frankly because then even I would know I’m not actually nuts.

No one has attacked me here at all I admit I’m a little confused here. I took this for a place people spoke of such things where I could actually openly address and discuss it for the first time and learn how to turn my abilities into skills.

I haven’t figured out how to quote using the phone yet either. I’m sure I will after a while of use however.

If anyone thinks I am a liar here for a game then please if you have the capability and skill to summon the ones I mentioned then do so and show us both that either I’m insane and need meds or they’re real and what is happening with me now is not a delusional episode. I still doubt even with the things I have experienced.

Amon, Discord, Anubis, Hecate, Wrath as in the seven deadly sins. Yes they’re real beings if I’m not being lied to and not nuts. I was told I met Lust, Envy, and Pride as well. They were testing me. War and Death as in the horsemen. They identified themselves as such. I had to go looking up what they were. Nyx goddess of the night. Durga who was the original Kali. I don’t know what name she would answer to we agreed I could call her Durga because she liked that mythology and said it was accurate about her. Zozo and his Legion. It was Zozo that told me to call her Kali to begin with when he unintentionally brought her out he said.

Id be very interested in seeing some of these if you care to share them :thinking:

Some of us are taken by the spirits, some call them “Lilitu”, meaning more spirit than flesh. My suggestion, if I may be allowed to give such, would be to pull them together and consume them. Become one with them, sever the separation. More spirits = more moving parts = higher likelyhood of something breaking down. The power of “I” can help… just my suggestion though, perhaps it is not a path most suited for you.

Either way, welcome to the forum. I sense a sort of… anxiety about you. Not to say that you are anxious, but the nature of the energy and how it is running about you is similar to what we would call “anxiety”. Its like an electric current, fast and curious trying to explore. Liber Kaos would refer to it as “orange magick”, though I certainly do not see it as orange. Clarity might come more if you can slow it down some and direct it more intentionally.

Enjoy your stay, I try to make it so “seekers” are always welcome here.

You’ll come to find with so many people speaking openly about magick, it attracts a lot of liars and role-players, and trolls and the like. It is not that you arent allowed here or to say these things, but most of us treat new members with a level of incredulous-ness, simply because it is impossible to tell who is honest and who is a liar from one or two posts.

Stick around, dont be worried about people doubting you its guaranteed as a new member making bold claims. My promise though is your actions and words will prove how real you are with time :slightly_smiling_face: I myself got called a larper and told I was speaking with parasites, but I doubt many still believe that now.

Take some time to see how we communicate and everything, it is WEIRD being with a bunch of people who can do stuff like we do, and if you arent used to it it can take time to adjust. Certainly that was the case for me, being a long time solo practitioner, and never really being with a knowledgeable community.

Just dont get upset lol, we are all here to learn. And I in no way mean this as a criticism or anything, I dont doubt your claims, I just want to explain what I feel is some users thought - processes, and why LARPing or lying was brought up.

Edit: this post is glitching out pretty hard for me, fun
Edit2: stop moving lmao the formatting keeps changing

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I don’t have any telling me no on anything so yes I will figure out how to share such things…

Thank you for being encouraging. Yes speaking of this stuff makes me nervous because people can weaponize it. I am not given to being this sort of trusting with humans on this kind of thing. I feel I am taking a Huge Risk. I do have anxiety about taking this risk but my desire for more outweighs my caution…

I think that is something another talked about doing that I know who is like me, where they would combine into one with aspects of all… I don’t know how I feel about that though, they’re individuals with mates and such to do so would mean they loose that doesn’t it? Explain where I learn about the Power of “I”?

And there has been so much happening with me that I am told by even these things to try and calm down. control…They tell me I am dangerous when I don’t. Any info you can refer me to on the topic I would definitely appreciate. Orange magic? I am not given to being easily offended except in all honesty it does get to me to feel I am being called a pretender… But I bite my tongue just as I do with most entities trying to learn the why behind it before loosing my temper… I like people to be direct, honest, point blank. Few want that when they say so but I Do.

Thing is if I am breaking rules or need to not discuss something somehow I NEED to know it. I didn’t come to be a problem I came to Learn and maybe find someone I can actually talk about this stuff with who can actually understand what it’s like to go through this.

You take Discords name into yours, Eris. can I inquire why? what meaning it has for you? It catches my attention as her host…

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You are no problem, so no need to worry about that. Just dont call people liars here, or threaten them and you should have no problems either :slightly_smiling_face:

I take Eris into my name because I exalt her over all others, she is The Goddess, the primal Chaos from which all things have been birthed. She is my matron, my mate, and my gate to the divine.

Orange magick… look up Liber Kaos by Peter J Carroll. It is available publicly online in a few different libraries you might just have to search a bit to find it.

Understanding I is something that is very personal. It is viewing yourself as the only and the highest. The most divine and the most powerful. All that is, is you, and though you may interact with different entities and forces, they are still YOU… perhaps a part of you separated by some amount of time or space, but you regardless.

For me it was understanding no matter what I encounter, I am the most powerful spirit. That no harm could come to me but the harm I self inflict, that no entity could hurt me for in that instance I would become it, the more powerful one. You will need to come to your own understanding, just KNOW who and what you are, that you are I, the one, the only, the ascendent.

As far as risk, risk is inherent in everything. To loosely quote Liber Kaos “perhaps our fields of dreams and our most desired treasures are located precisely within the things we most fear” (im pulling that from memory). Speaking your word here must have been momentous, congratulate yourself for that, and prepare to devour any more danger or risk you encounter. If youre anything like me you will find eating what displeases you to be a strength.

If you like I can open a DM with you and we can discuss things as you like (new members cant start dm’s for some time which is why I suggest), otherwise, ill be keeping an eye out for your posts. I am interested in your experiences :slightly_smiling_face:

Edit: on the subject of pulling things together into one… One thing can be many, and many things can be one. Humans are not a good example to start with, look I.to ant colonies, and slime molds. Distinct unique parts, that also can act in unison.

Also my name is a play on words of the Princess and the frog story, Eris did that to me but in reverse so I was a Prince but am now a frog. Smh, what a sense of humor she has.

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I would love to :smiley: be able to engage privately.

I have more to say in response to your post but will focus on the symbols atm. I get lots of them but rarely do I get their meanings. I don’t know if that is from the disconnect we have or intentional. I will just start drawing them.

I have been taking photos of all I have and will soon try to share some of them.

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Oooh, complex. I dont recognize them. It does seem to be logographic, and not an alphabet or syllabary. What sticks out to me is how wavy and curved they are. In natural (human) languages that could tell you abit about how they are inscribed.

this image is from someone elses writing years back. they wrote it to me. I cropped it to remove their name.

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It reminds me of cuneiform. It feels very old.

Reminds me of Chinese and Japanese a bit. It’s a pretty caligraphical script whatever it is.

Hi Welcome!
I don’t know what to tell you about all that, there’re things beyond our comprehension. But your story reminded of mine. Even the writing that you received kind of through vision, if I got it correctly?!
So I will say the next not doubting you or anything, just a friendly warning cause your story it resonated a lot with mine. My story is about being deceived by a specific powerful impostor.
The story he had told me about who and what I was was different than yours, but through years I had summoned many different entities than confirmed me who I was, many powerful ones, just came to me to help me or to hang with me or telling me how we were friends or something, I “knew” the enemies I had, also well known powerful being, but they never attacked me cause they couldn’t find me, cause I was protected, there was evidence and they told me I was protected, cloaked because of who I was, that I was powerful and I could mess up with any other entity, they would never be able to hurt me, more than once they let me understand that I was sent here to be human because I was a danger to the worlds, because I was that powerful and with a bad temper. In the very beginning of all this, I received through visions, kind of in trance some symbols, actually similar to yours, I never got their meanings, altough sometimes I got a feeling of the translation and it would never make sense. I also had played ouija, which was by it that I told the story for the first time. From my 5 years old I talked with a friendly entity. So I was also not normal per say.
Not long ago I find out that I was dealing with this impostor. He’s powerful, all entities I met was either his ally or he pretending be them, hence why they all confirmed the story, the symbols was probably just to mess up with me even if it is some sort of dead language. This impostor can stay years with a person because knows how to be convincing, not all was lie though, the entity that I talked from my childhood for example, but this impostor take truths and tangled with lies, so lies looked like truths, so I couldn’t see which was which. In your case for example you might have some gift a ability that in this scenario the impostor is using tangling with lies(in the scenario which your case is also this impostor, this might not be the case though, it might be all truth for you)
I won’t enter in details of my story here, cause is big too, with a lot of details and things that confirmed to me back than. Again my intention is not say I don’t believe you, is just warning you to be careful, cause your story reminded me of mine and that got me worried. What I did to find the truth was perfom a spell to reveal the truth to a goddess, the way I did I merely call their name to bless the spell, this way is just a prayer, is been sent directly to the owner of the name, to the real god, without giving a chance to the impostor interfere as it would in regular summon for example. I did the spell with runes.
I hope you figure things out, and know that I’m open to help you in any way I can if you wish to, to figure this thing out. I know what is like to feel like you’re loosing your mind, to feel alone cause no one, no even in the “magical world” would believe in you, to doubt and wonder. Which is why I wouldn’t say no in try helping you :slight_smile:
So good luck and be welcome. And I hope you don’t get me wrong and get offended, that’s not my intention at all.

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