Fallen_Human's Magical - Journal

His last post on his journal

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May 16th

Day 1 in my initiation in the Qlipha; Nahemoth. First called on King Belial, then open the sigil channeled by Vk and started reciting the incantation to initiate.

No notes as of yet. Looking forward to my dreams tonight except;
While doing the initiation, the bottom of my spine went fire. I saw figures on my wall. A dragon figure.

Side note: I know people call the first sphere lilith, but I felt it was confusing and I know its also named nahemoth; thus i went with that. I am also planning on going to stay in each Qlipha for 3 to 7 days: depends on how I intuitively feel. With that said, if yall think i should use the name Lilith of the sphere instead of nahemoth please feel free.

Your thought are highly appreciated @DarkestKnight @Onion <3

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Use whichever name you prefer. If you intuitively feel Nahemoth is the correct one for you, then trust that.

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Thank you, I really needed to hear that because I was worried I needed to re-do the intiation ceremony.

I am also not sure If i should keep using Nahemoth in the next days and if I should change it back to Lilith. Although as you said Nahemoth is more appealing to me.

Again, thank you for your quick response and comfort.

Day 2 after initiation [Nahemoth] Dreams:

When I first woke up, I took my journal and stated that I had no dreams, I was still tired and time was around 7AM so I was like I am going to sleep for another hour. However while I was between woke and sleep state, I saw a bloody gut in the shape of cross (christ cross- note i never was christian ) floating in the area where I conduct my rituals.

1st dream: I dreamt that i was back home, in this poor neighborhood engaging with people and watching kids play soccer. Behind me there was 2 Indian men, old ones. They were talking about me in their language. I didnt understand it since i dont speak it, but I knew it was about me. Suddenly when i am about to leave, I decided I will go to this minimarket few steps away to buy something to drink. I chose Vimto (a pink-red color drink).

Anyway, I went back to the cashier who is one of the 2 indian guys that implied that I was rich to his friend whenn we were outside, by asking me to pay more than what the item is worth. At least thats how i felt. I then started to say to him how could you act this way when indians are smart, got culture and honor and knowledge. Basically I was implying that he should be a good representation of his people. Anyway, I then said, do not be like the Egyptians and betray your country (I swear i love egypt and its people - its just a dream).

While journaling the first dream, I started remembering the other dreams.

I had 3 other dreams that I am not going to share

Note: from these dreams I can see how they are basic nightmares. Also, one of which has a test for me and I believe I passed the test in it, or at least thats what I felt. I also had a 3rd dream before these dreams (which is 1st) but I cannot remember it. I know since when I was journaling the dream i got flashes of it but forgot it too. Also how this type of nightmare (fear based) dream is associated with other people’s experiences when they initiate in the first sphere “Nahemoth”

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Extra notes on my first initiation ritual

So after I got my ritual done and I want to do something mundane. I usually cook or surf my phone to go back. I open my instagram and this is what I first see:

“What you want, Wants you
It will reach you. Give it time, prayer,
and gratitude while it’s en-route to you”

Note to give a little context: my main goal(s) in initiating through the Qliphoth: Rising Kundalini, Merging with the source, Meeting my Shadow self or Daemon, Inheriting the power of each sphere so i may utilize in my workings.

Thought I should document this here: for future reference.

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Day 2 initiation [Nahemoth]

I opened King Belial sigil, and told him I going to do my 2nd initiation into the qlipha and therefore I asked him to come and guide me. I then opened the universal sphereworking sigil channeled by Vk and chanted the initiation incantation.

After it was done, I sat for a bit meditating while my eyes closed. I saw a cave like shape. It was really dark. I saw a lot of eyes looking at me. Then I look down and I see the ground very black but there is lines in all over the ground that were red but not just in color but as if it was burning volcano that was cracking the ground and i could see it. While at this point, my partner parged in the room and closed the door right away once saw me doing a ritual. I got so furious and distracted. I then punished him by sucking his energy to regain focus. As much that sounds bad, I felt good about it. I felt disrespected and got paid for that.

Thats all what I can think of as of now. Looking forward to tonight’s dreams. So its done.

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Day 3 after initiation [Nahemoth] Dreams:

I am having headache since last night. Its mainly focused on the front of my head.

Dreams: I know I had a lot of dreams, but I am unable to remember with this headache. I feel like there was something important in the dreams. Ugh, Im mad now.

Visions : I have been getting a lot of flashes of images. One of which, it was like I was looking from a third person perspective and saw what appeared to be me get stabbed in the back.

Feelings: 2nd day I was full of energy and ready to go, 3rd day I feel drained and wanting to throw up.

I have been feeling like I should have this day as last day in this Qlipha of Nahemoth, but I am not sure If i am supposed it to move forward. I do not know if its my ego, or that I am supposed to move to the next.

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May 18th 2022
Day 3 initiation ritual [ Nahemoth ]

I brought my circle, my cup, my book of shadows. I decided I will take a shower today before the ritual. Then, I felt inclined to do it naked. I called upon King Belial. I used VKs incantation to initiate into the Qlipha. I asked using my pendulum to be 100% correct, if I shall pass to the next Qlipha tomorrow. It swing circles (which is yes) very hard and fast. I wanted to test it, so I said what about after this ritual. It changed to right and left swing (no) then I said okay tomorrow it is and it went back to circles.

Its been a pleasure and honor passing and entering through Naamah’s Qlipha. She definitely showed me some of my truamas and fears, especially through my dreams. I am grateful.

Feelings: Calm and relaxed. While doing the ritual the bottom of my spine was burning.

*After the incantation and projecting to her realm I felt so inclined to soldify my astral form first, so I did. I felt really good and was able to observe more since I did that. I think she helped me solidify the connection more, with higher-self in the astral.

Thats it for now and looking forward to tonight’s dreams.

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Stay hydrated, get enough carbs and rest. Also do a bit of grounding when things get really wacky. It’s easy to feel ground-less in a way in the qliphoth, in my experience at least. I used to get very hungry and combined with the heat here I could hardly sit up straight on some days. A rose quartz also helped me.

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You just explained how I have been feeling. I feel like I want to keep eating and always hungry. Thats actually good advice. I am going to use the crystal or keep it with me when i am doing the rite. Thanks @Onion

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Day 4 after 3rd initiation into [Nahemoth] - Dream:

I do not remember all my dreams, but I remember one. I can’t share it with BALG since I am really ashamed of it. I thought those type of dreams were supposed to come when I initiate into Gamaliel. Maybe the intention of doing it tomorrow (which is today) already started the process. Hmmm.

I am going to do the intitation rite into Gamaliel same way as i did the previous Qlipha but I will do it on the hour of the moon instead of Jupiter. Note: i did Jupiter since King Belial is associated with it.

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welcome

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May 19th 2022
Day 1 initiation ritual [ Gamaliel ]

I sat down in my circle, naked, called on king Belial. Once he was here, I started the initiation rite into the Qlipha Gamilel.

Feelings:
In the first qlipha I felt a burning sensation in the bottom of my spine. In this qlipha It felt really cold and it went upwards towards the lower part of the middle of my back. I also felt cold and tingling sensations in my left and right sides (from front of my body) where my kidneys are. I felt calm and relaxed.

Visions:
I saw a female figure at first her face was not clear, but I saw her middle body i.e breast, belly, and got darker near the genital area. [So I said, I am married and with respect I decline to have sex and wish to stay true to my partner]: got no response but nothing sexual happened.

Then I saw another female figure, one side of her face was beautiful and human, and the other half was like someone who been dead for so long and dark.
Then I was walking and looked up, the clouds were pitched black but i can see them clearly and the moon was black but i can see it as if there is dark light shining through it. I am not sure how to explain this one.

Then, I intentionally wanted to find the elixier or the magicians stone. I visualized the stone but then it looked like a chalice. I took it and drank from it. Thats when sensations of tingling started around my kidneys.

Pendulum questions:
Was I successfully initiated into your Qlipha? Answer yes.
Did I drink from the elixier which everyone talk about? Yes.
Does this mean I passed? I felt like someone was laughing and then i got Not, yet. and heard, your trial just began.

There I concluded and ended the rite and thanked Queen Lilith and my patron King Belial.

Side note:
(A) After ritual I open my insta and first thing i see is an AD for animal rights by seeing a guy on the beach picking up a black spider. Like whaaaat :crazy_face:
(B) I saw something about 369 being the key to the universe. I think I am guided to work on each Qlipha either 3 or 6 or 9 days. Also there is some relation to this number to the word AUM. Maybe I need to meditate more? Hmmm!

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You initiated a process that’ll unfold over time.

Beginning in Gamaliel and carrying over into the next spheres.

It’s a twofold process in which you’ll be purged of some things, and other things will be nurtured, strengthened, etc.

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oh great to know, thank you for the confirmation.

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Extra note on the initiation: After i did the rite and it was time to project to her realm. It started raining so hard that i can hear it hiting the ceiling. Note: it always rains here and it never sounds like this.

Why did i just remember this, I was watching a video on lilith and got to know her name means storm. Very interesting.

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May 20th 2022
Day 2 initiation ritual [ Gamaliel ] & Dreams

Dreams: I believe I had some, but I didn’t record them as soon as I woke up and forgot them :l

Feelings: Energetic, blessed.

Changes: Since I started working on this Qlipha me and my partner are having lots of romantic moments and our sexual intercourse is more on fire :stuck_out_tongue:

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Today’s Initiation: Mother Lilith showed me a type of meditation I should follow to drop into trance and use to astral project without needing to go to sleep. Note: I am not good at this and she is teaching me the first steps into mastering this skill.

1- She asked me to focus on my inhales and exhales
2- while inhaling she made me see this white lighting striking me from above (crown) down to the root and going into earth
3- Then while exhailing it came back up filled with darkness (black color) up to the sky through my chakras.
4- after that I was looking at myself looking at my third eyes while doing this whole process.
5- and then I started to see dark clouds and it was like they were moving (one part to left and one part to right) making way for me to see what’s behind, and there i got lots of image’s.

I figured some and there some that I’m still trying to figure out.

After that: we talked and she told me I was doing well and I should keep focusing. I asked if she thinks I am passing correctly and she assured me that I am but that there is one more thing I need to focus on, which is to drop all desire to control and that I need to learn to let go and relax and trust the process.

Oh one more thing, I had amethyst, tiger eye and quartz in my circle. She asked me not to use the tiger eye or the amethyst in my next rituals but its okay to use the clear quartz.

Thats it for now… Be blessed

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Quick note:

Lilith been pushing me to call on Abaddon. I am not sure why yet, but I know it involves my Qlipha working or at least thats what i think.

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May 21st 2022
Day 3 initiation ritual [ Gamaliel ] & Dreams

Dreams: I had a long dream, I journaled it in my physical dream journal due to privacy. Lately my dreams are kind of hard to share on the internet :stuck_out_tongue:

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Today’s Initiation: I brought the circle, sat naked, called on the amazing and powerful king Belial. Once there. I brought my book of shadow, today i added a tea-light candle, my wand, and then did the meditation showed to me by Mother Lilith. Chanted the initiation incantation. After it was done and it was projecting time, I found myself calling on other demon Kings and Dukes: Samael, Azazel, Lucifer, Abaddon, Astaroth, Beelzebub, and Belial was already there. I have no idea why I suddenly did that, but I did or at least felt guided too.

I then felt guided to use a verse from the Muslim Quran which is used in the arabian magick culture to infuse the opening of your astral sight. So if you can see 70% it increases it more. I do not want to give an specific number because that would be wrong, but just wanted to convey the idea.

After doing that, my body started to shake. Felt tingling all over my back, especially my left side. It felt soo cold. Nothing I experienced before. I also got a lip-kiss from mother Lilith. I didn’t see that coming, but I totally moved and said with all due respect I am married. Then continued to meditate for a bit and ended the ritual.

End notes.

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