25/4/19
Lucifer Meditation
I redid C. Kendall’s Lucifer meditation at my Dad’s, I’m feeling in more of an evocation-y mood again lately. Next ritual may be a seductive one. Maybe another to Lilith or some glamour-ish being. Aphrodite? Lord Lucifer’s energy is very rejuvenating and pleasant. My visualisations have a different feel to them now. Kinda subtle but at the same time my doubt about them is gone.
10/5/19
Love and Revenge and Lilith Evocation (?)
I don’t think I need to sit for any length of time and meditate to feel any of the main LHP entities. I was driving to work when I felt Belial offering to help me curse the person I made a sour jar for with Dra’talon. I respectfully declined because I suppose I’m not really in a rush. Dra’talon will do whatever he’s gonna do and I’d rather have Belial help me curse someone else when I get around to doing that.
I know who Lilith sent to me, it’s been confirmed by other people as well as my own intuition. However this guy’s been put off and is holding back, he may message me at some point or may not. The real issue seems to be balancing this with my target, who I used to want but now not really, and other options too, so a lot of stuff seems to be conflicting and in the air. Plus the guy Lilith sent to be my boyfriend seems to have a lot on his plate, and may not be able to give me the type of relationship I want anyway. I do hope he messages me though… This weekend I’m meeting up with a nice guy that I didn’t summon with magic (unless an entity hooked us up behind the scenes, it’s hard to tell). I’d have preferred a guy who lives close, like the one Lilith sent who now lives in my actual town. But beggars can’t be choosers. I’m impatient and things seem to be tangled enough as it is. I wish I could just cut through and get what I want now, but oh well.
I did some meditating then thought about my first ex, who is a soul mate. We were meant to be together, even if neither of us loved each other. I was supposed to chase him. I’ve felt and intuited all this. Anyway it was ridiculous how looking back our relationship was so one-sided. When I decided I wanted to make him have feelings for me I thought through the entities I know in my head and tried to feel out who’d be willing to help me. And Lilith felt like she’d be the most keen.
So I drew her sigil, red candle, incense and gave her some of my chilli con carne as an offering. Did visualisations to infect my first ex. He’s the type to get over people quickly and not care (or maybe it was just that way for me?) so I’m hoping this will make him see the value in me, which is what I deserve. Make him less stupid. Plus I’m bored being single and want more attention.
Improvement and my Incubus
The Meditations at this site are lit. I didn’t realise it was so important to close (hide) your chakras, I was getting leached off and now feel so much more focused. I’m advancing more and am going to try to connect with my incubus more than I have. Cause I’ve been slack. I really am improving and can sense him better though, can even sorta automatically see him in my minds’ eye without trying.
This newer, edgier you is a major turn-on. Whew! Be still my beating heart.
13/5/19
Psychic Improvement
I can read chakras now. Holy hell. I was with a spiritual friend and tried reading her chakras. Did nothing other than mentally flick through each one, could see her unhappy sacral and heart zones, and could even see her active crown chakra. I was able to scan my Mum’s too. I am able to feel, to intuit other peoples chakras just with thought. I really am progressing.
25/5/19
Sastan Evocation
I have evoked Sastan to assist me in improving my psychic senses. Primarily clairaudience, but also clairvoyance and my other clair-faculties. I’m trying to be more psychically sensitive and practice being aware of my surroundings as well. The Satanic Meditations I’ve found are all a great help.
The evocation itself was fine, didn’t last too long. I spent some time clearing off stress and getting in the zone. Then I had to catch myself when I started doubting. I needed to actively put my faith and trust in this demon, and my own personal power. I will be actively working toward being perceptive and sensitive in that regard.
27/5/19
Lilith’s Love Option
My personal life has been busy and shit is happening. While my stubborn target and Lilith’s option were probably tangling against each other trying to manifest into plausibility along with my energy and any other options (at least that’s how I’m imagining it)… I’ve removed him from social media.
Lilith found someone I asked for in weeks who fit the description of what I asked, recently moved back to my town and it seems like he is good-natured. However timing is not on my side with other things. And this guy’s life seems too busy for me as well. We only had one or two conversations. Maybe he would’ve come around, but I reached out again after say a month and have been ignored. I know I have more pressing life stuff that requires my attention anyway, but I can’t stand for him. I’m so done waiting on people and being ignored, I can see this guy was brought to me and it’s that combined with the fact that he’s ignoring me which makes this situation exactly the same as my target.
I’m not going through that again. False hope was my fuel for a while, but if I let it go on it becomes rather monstrous. So I’ve unfriended, unfollowed him. If I see this guy around town suppose I’ll just ignore him like what happened before. Maybe Lilith will send me someone else instead. Someone further away but who has the time and inclination to interact with me ha.
I’m not holding my breath for this guy. And I hate that I’m not too surprised this happened. He was also a Capricorn.
My Spirit Husband
For those wanting more information on my incubus husband, I’ve recently started a blog that can be found here.
27/5/19
Dra’talon and Belial Double Whammie
I have made another jar cause someone else needs to die. I actually drove over thirty minutes to a cemetery and pinched dirt off a freshly buried person, like that day. The jar also contained: lemon, three nails, vinegar, dog shit, photo with victim’s name on the back. The jar had Dra’talon and Belial’s sigils on it. I buried the jar next to my victim’s house. This person super deserves it and has even come after me with the law, so let’s see what happens!
I find it worth noting that Dra’talon didn’t even really want my wine. He just wants someone to kill. Belial liked my wine.
2/6/19
Love Jar with Lilith
I’ve waited much longer than I’d like for my third relationship. Things seemed to be okay and felt good enough with one boy I like, but he’s been busy with Uni. So I’ve done a love jar on him with Lilith because I’m leaving absolutely nothing to chance anymore. Hopefully this will quicken the process and lead to my target’s destruction. I want this to move again. The jar feels powerful. I hate how long I’ve had to wait, but when this pays off it’ll be worth it. I need to feel like I have an option (a real, actual option) other than my target, cause if he moves now it will be bad for me.
17/6/19
My Servitor Family
I’ve mentioned this in another post, but after researching thoughtforms and servitors people have made on here, like Beatrice, what I’m doing isn’t really that exciting in comparison. But it sure is fun! I have made four wards, four distinct Servitors that have unique personalities. Made them with the help of my incubus, Lucifer, Lilith and Belial. I’m actually in a romantic relationship with one of them. Didn’t mean for that to happen but it did.
Now my energy field is just full of sexual energy. Anyway I am describing my experiences with them in my incubus blog here.
Belial and the 2nd Curse Jar
As for this situation, I evoked Belial and asked about the person I set him and Dra’talon on to kill. The victim has some angelic protection, but they seem to be working around it and I may have my victory in a month/month and a half. I almost put just ‘a month’ now but I could feel Belial urging like “no more like longer” so my psychic senses really are getting better to feel these responses/comments, must be thanks to Sastan and the Servitors I’ve made.
And my chakra unblocking and everything else, I’m really coming a long way.
18/6/19
Servitor Teenage Rebellion
The good news, my four Servitors (completed and have a set of four wards now) are growing into their independence nicely. As I designed them to be fairly free and their own people, what has come of that is the natural testing of waters it seems. The natural rebellion of new spawn.
Nothing dramatic. I’d put in their programming that they can’t harm me and must be loyal to me. Buuut for a day or so I was having difficulty feeling them out. I didn’t push it, I didn’t think to, I just left it and then asked one of my Servitors during his power-up ritual.
Turns out two of them may be involved, romantically it seems, and my oldest was trying to keep me out so I wouldn’t meddle or pry. My only concern is that nobody gets hurt and that there isn’t any major discord. I am myself romantically involved with one of the Servitors. Totally wasn’t planned. Anyway the family stuff is getting written about in my blog, where I mention their names and info about the six of us.
My oldest was blocking my ability to sense them and the others were excitedly waiting around to see what would happen. Reminiscent of children misbehaving for the first time. I thought my incubus would be furious, but one of my Servitors went to him to explain the situation while upset, and I think that calmed him.
On an unrelated note I’ve been thinking of sex servitors. I know my incubus would like me to make some, or is at least very interested in the idea. If I make any more I’ll need to make sleep commands or some rule that’ll keep them away. Cause I don’t know how crowded things will feel if Servitors are running all over the shop. I’ll only make plans and focus on my astral world-building instead.
I designed a fairly basic house for my family of six on minecraft. Minecraft is good for getting the dimensions of things right.
30/6/19
Progress
So part of the reason I made this journal was to show newcomers a step-by-step progression of how a newcomer improves along this path. I started here with religious and spiritual experiences, but nothing to do with organised ritual magic.
I can now say that I no longer consider myself a rookie in anyway. I am not a beginner.
When it comes to expertise in the occult, I see that we have newcomers who “sorta” get psychic impressions. But have some if not a considerable amount of doubt that magic is real. On the other end, there are people who are actively communicating with entities effortlessly, actively reading minds without trying, constantly feeling saturated in the power of magic and watching things in their room float around. I was wondering what it’d be like to get to that in-between space where you cross the bridge into “holy shit this is tangible as fuck”.
Like literally “this can’t in any way be confused for the imagination”.
I really wanted to document that moment so that newcomers would understand what it takes to get there. Practice basically. But for me I’d say, the most important thing I’ve done to move away from being a newcomer and towards expert-dom is balancing my emotional-energy body. I think that when your emotional-energy body is unobstructed you become like a stream, you become more psychic and are introduced to the world that only psychically aware people can perceive.
Evoking beings, Evoking for psychic awareness, fixing chakras, releasing old emotional wounds, meditations, my incubus husband, and creating my Servitor family has been what has got me to this point now.
Some of you on here put up the most amazing and intelligent stuff. I will have to work my way there and learn all about these alchemical and occult principles. Perhaps I should start working with the Qlippoth, which I don’t know much about, or work my way through evoking the demonic gatekeepers. For the moment I am still doing the emotional-energy unblocking thing and making Servitors (which while being SO much fun, may actually be side-tracking me from a more serious magical goal, I dunno.)
I still haven’t left my body yet while awake. It’s something my parents were able to do years ago. It’ll also be an important milestone for me when I get there, and will even more so establish my place in the intermediate tier.
14/7/19
Man I have a lot of important stuff to update on, including my third kill, so I suppose I’ll just get into it.
Dra’talon Curse Jar Victim 1
I’ve not seen her around work, and heard that she’s in hospital with rib pain. I know nothing in detail.
Dra’talon & Belial Curse Jar Victim 2
A while ago Belial had confirmed it’d take over a month. At some point I’ll check in again and make sure this person’s angelic protection won’t keep her safe from the heinous death she deserves.
Clearing Out the Mess
It’s been intuited that the reason why I can’t bring my third relationship to me could be because I’ve evoked too many separate beings. That and my target, the possible-narcissist from my soul family who I have a karmic tie with, is in the way. I wrote down on paper my new plan which involves three rituals, two of which I have already done.
Ritual 1: Lucifer, Rosier, Sallos, Lilith & Furfur
I evoked these five at once and gave each two chocolates for their trouble. To Lucifer, Rosier and Sallos I presented the love jar I’d made for my target and told them the plan had changed, since my target would not come to me and because I have feelings for him (thus making him a threat to me) I decided he would have to die. I let them know of my intentions to kill him and clarified that I did not want him in my life, and I did not want anything to prevent me from getting into another relationship as soon as possible.
To Lilith I also reaffirmed this about my target. And spoke about the boy she’d sent to me (who fit the description of what I asked for), that since he was ignoring me and seemed unable to give me the relationship I wanted, that he be cancelled. And I asked that the love jar for another target I made with her who is also stagnating (even after I buried his jar properly) also not get in the way of anything coming to me.
To Fufur I asked that the boy he was sending me as a gift (someone who works closely with Furfur said so) not get in the way of anyone coming to me.
Basically this entire ritual was to ensure that all entities I’d worked with in the past understood that I want a longterm relationship to come to me as soon as possible, and that no one’s efforts thwart or get in the way of anyone else’s. I wanted everyone on the same page so that I can succeed.
I did this ritual yesterday, and finally buried my target’s love jar as well.
Ritual 2: Samael
I evoked Samael for the first time to kill my soul-mate. Dra’talon likes to torture his prey and I figured I just needed him out of my way and just don’t quite hate him enough to want him to go through that. Even though he’s useless. I gave Samael wine, and asked that my target be killed painlessly and quickly. As in, I want him dead soon. He’ll die loving me, which I find kinda sweet, and maybe that’ll be enough solace after this ordeal and all the lies. I only gave Samael his name but that should be enough - I’ve decided to put my faith in him. I did this ritual before work tonight.
Ritual 3: ???
I think I’ll evoke Lucifer again, just because he worked so well in bringing my last boyfriend to me so quickly. This time, I want a longterm relationship that will be clingy and sweet. With good sex. But it’s probably best not to specify too much. Speed is what I’m going for here.
In Conclusion
By re-evoking everyone and explaining my intentions hopefully everything can be direct, fast and clear. By killing my old soul-mate I’ve hopefully shown the RHP system that when I ask for a boyfriend, I don’t want a narcissist to ‘teach me a lesson’, I want a fucking boyfriend. Enough time has passed so I will continue to make ruthless and direct moves, and kill more people until I can have what I’ve always asked for.
16/7/19
Ritual 3: ??? (Lucifer)
I did the third planned ritual before work today. I did go to Lucifer again and told him about how the success of the ritual for my last boyfriend is what made him my patron and completely convert me to the LHP. I reckon he is fiercely moving now to do what I asked of him. I said I wanted a longterm relationship that’d last over a year, I want someone I have power over for a change, someone clingy and sweet, someone I’d be attracted to. Someone who will pursue me or match my efforts. I made some other comments but what is really important is just that it’s answered quickly again, so speed over getting everything I asked for.
I should’ve cleared everything out of the way and everyone should know that I want success and nobody’s working clashing against anyone else’s. Let’s hope it comes quickly again. I have complete trust and faith in Lucifer’s powers.
17/7/19
I bitched out of killing my soul mate, just thought you guys should know. Only cause I may be upset down the line. I also don’t think murder is a good punishment, it only hurts a lot of living people. And I do love him, as much as I hate him.
It was intuited he’d probably drink himself to death, and supposedly he has been drinking to ignore the feelings I implanted in him. The thought of him drinking himself to death over me (sorta like suicide) just sounded too sad. It’s better to find ways to torment/cripple enemies who are living instead of killing them. Thanks to Samael for being understanding, I gave him another glass of wine.
12/8/19
Up-diddly-date
I have made a curse jar for my second target’s husband (Dra’talon and Belial), made a love jar for my first ex to get back at him for being a douche (Lilith), made a curse jar for the dickhead crush I had in high school who cracked my heart (Belial). I evoked Lilith and asked her to help me get with this guy I’m talking to. Often love jars just make people react adversely, instead of coming toward you. So I asked Lilith to make this guy relaxed and chill, until he’s mine of course. Then I’ll devour him.
I’m hoping this will work. I’m not sure if Lucifer is going to send me someone, I think he wants me to consider my original target??? I hope I’m hearing incorrectly. Especially cause I know, and everyone else intuits, that he wouldn’t stay with me. Supposedly some blonde guy who is a soul mate is coming to get with me, I saw his profile pop up on Grindr on the last day of the month they said he’d come, but he isn’t messaging me. I remember seeing him a year or so before that and thinking he might also be from my soul family.
I have no time for people who won’t talk to me. I’m hoping Lilith can make this work with the guy I’m currently talking to. We have things in common, but I doubt he’s from my soul family. I think lately I’ve been attracting people who are similar to me in life ways, not that it’s helped.
26/8/19
Success!
I have a boyfriend again. This was very delayed, compared to the fact that the last time I attempted this it took days instead of months. I suspect my karmic connection with that narcissist was doing this though. Anyway I’m sure this is magic because interestingly enough, this boyfriend has a natal chart extremely similar to my last ex, though he is quite young, younger than me. But he lives close. And is very sweet.
I’m not exactly sure of which entity to thank yet, but when I am I will be sure to.
Revenge Business
My 2nd target and her husband are both resisting death due to their angelic protection. They are worms that really need to die, so I need to prioritize removing their protection at some point. To my understanding things have been ‘very delayed’ but not quite stopped, so I will need to just make sure that their heads get to that chopping block. I asked Belial and Dra’talon to do away with them both. Perhaps I should evoke King Belial again to ask for his opinion on what I should do.
16/9/19
Man I don’t update this for every little thing anymore. But I have three general categories that my magic is about.
1: Baneful (Revenge)
I evoked Glasya-Labolas to get target number 2 and her husband. They have angelic protection that seemed to be withstanding my evocations to Dra’talon and Belial and the curse jars I made for them. My first target has come out of hospital and is still alive. I’m thinking that maybe these beings are looking out for my best interests and considering that I may actually - hate to admit that this is possible - regret killing them one day? Christianity and the RHP will always be a part of me psychologically speaking. I was a teenager and young adult so those beliefs are ingrained in important developmental years of life. Try as I might, I’ll never be full dark or metal like some of you guys. But I do appreciate my light aspects.
Anyway, if I ever get overwhelmed by how far I’ve gone that percievably (but hopefully not, and not likely) could have me slingshot back into an RHP space.
2: Love (Necessary Manipulation)
My current boyfriend has also come from Lucifer. I evoked Lucifer today and made an obsession jar for him because he was misbehaving. I need him to stay with me for a few months at least to get to my target. But I do also want to live through the motions of love if it’s not possible in normal circumstances. Plus I already had to wait seven months so I can’t afford to ever take chances with anything it seems.
I wonder if the old Universe has a hand in this at all, or is perhaps pretending it does. I may still need to consider that Universe Banishing ritual someone put on here. Anyway, dating an eighteen-year-old is like living the teenage relationship I wasn’t allowed to have. And could they be trying to get me back karmically at some point for what happened with my last boyfriend Kai? Not that I reckon I was in the wrong but they have a very skewed view of justice. And were trying to cripple and destroy me in this lifetime because of their karmic agenda.
3: Other (Self-Improvement)
Still using tarot and swapping tarot reads with people on discord, I bought a Rider-Waite deck. Still creating my spiritual family, did a ritual for my latest servitor team member created with my incubus. Still focusing on chakras and balancing them - specifically my throat now (it’s still my weakest). I did a ritual to invoke the element Fire into me today because it’s lacking in my natal chart and I noticed I was lacking some of its positive aspects.
Keep working on your weaknesses and becoming strong everyone! No prisoners!
23/9/19
Power-Up Wards Ritual
So I realise I have a couple of hours before work tonight, so I reckon I should do magic. If there’s no goal that specifically requires a ritual I may as well go to default and power my servitors. My servitors are different in the sense that I created them to be my Spirit Family - you could find many sources of inspiration for this, I am a writer who is used to inventing fictional characters, or you could even consider that childhood show ‘Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends’ where children have the ability to create life (imaginary friends) as physical living beings. My servitors all resemble normal-looking humans and they’ve all been co-created with at least one other entity, though mostly it’s just with my incubus.
Getting off track a little. I have eight servitors now. Four are my psychic defender wards and the other four are Harems that function as sex servitors that can all have sex with each other (they still have distinct personalities and are members of me and my incubi’s family). I only powered the four wards before work tonight. I use three demonic chants, one for manifestation, for energy-building and for solidification and repeated each one thrice. I called on ‘the powers of darkness’ to assist me and that worked, though I do wonder who is actually answering when I’m asking for no one in particular. I don’t need to interact with my servitors from a master/boss/authoritarian standpoint because I designed them to care about my wellbeing or at the very least to take pride in their sense of duty to protect me.
23/9/19
’Outer Darkness to Converge Upon the Face of the Earth’ Group Ritual by C. Kendall
This was my first group working and most serious ritual, so I’m gonna detail my experience with it. The time for the ritual where I live was 12:33pm, I work night shifts so could do it.
At work the night before I printed out the Seed of Darkness symbol and made sure to set my alarm for 12pm, though woke up before it. Now I’m thinking I should’ve set it for 11:30am cause I didn’t have time to get deep into trance beforehand, I could take a few deep breaths and then basically I needed to start. After waking up I showered and dressed all in black, when walking into the bathroom I tried to sense C. Kendall and everyone else and I did feel tangible power come over me and heard a “welcome brother”. I got all my stuff set up for the ritual and began on time.
Most of the nine gatekeepers I’ve never evoked before, but I got interesting impressions from each that seemed to come from my past lives. I’ll explain…
Belial, I’ve already worked with quite a few times. He may be the entity I’ve worked with second to - or perhaps equal to - Lucifer.
Amaymon and Azazel are new to me.
Abaddon, I got the feeling that the only interaction with him may have come from a religious past life in which I may have scorned him once. Anyway I didn’t stop the ritual to apologise. Maybe I could’ve slipped that in, but at the time I didn’t think it’d be appropriate to stop.
Lucifuge Rofocale is new to me.
Beelzebub, now funnily enough I think there’s been some kind of sexual interaction in a past life. I dunno if he just came to me one day, since I don’t reckon I’ve had a black magician past life before now though certainly religious ones.
Bael I’ve not yet worked with, though I’ve seen him pop up in a dream.
Asmodeus I’ve done a ritual or two for and have felt a past life association to some extent. An experience of some kind.
Satan I’ve not formerly evoked, but I’ve had dream experiences as well as interactions with his Christianity version.
During the ritual when they were all around me I heard them say “Venus”. And I’m quite sure that’s because the energy I’ve been embodying as of late is Venusian and water energy.
I did the conjuration for water. I could feel C. Kendall and perhaps others and other entities giving out energy for us to channel and use. I could certainly feel it and can feel it now still, but if I’d had more time to get deep in trance I’m sure I would’ve had a proper bulldozer experience. I used a diabetic lancing pen to get blood for the symbol. I could feel the entities around and that they were distinct from each other. I could visualise the new, ideal earth quite easily.
The ritual took me 30 minutes, I lingered for another 10, just feeling and visualising. Anyway I’m happy to have contributed to this. I wasn’t so much ‘in the zone’ as I would’ve been with more immersion time, but I did this because I was sure me partaking couldn’t possibly hinder things, I’m sure I’ve helped even if just a bit.
I hope we all report on our experiences and whatever new revelations come to us about this ritual. I still feel the power from it, am still seeing repeating numbers everywhere.
26/9/19
Creative Writing and my Incubus
So it seems that not only does my beloved incubus want me to keep writing, but some other beings too. I wrote down a few ideas for a new story and could feel that my incubus was excited about my ‘teacher-student romance’ one. I didn’t end up going with that idea and started writing a few chapters of other stuff. But now I have started my teacher-student story and put the first chapter on WattPad. He seems excited. I need to check if my servitors also read my stuff. Anyway hopefully my incubus won’t be disappointed when my story gets as dark and twisted as it’s bound to get…
