If I may know what it looks like in one word
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Possessed? Like a jinn possessing your actions?
Any more symptoms? Then it must be just poor self control, lack of mental clarity and in need of meditation.
I don’t know if islamic magick had a sperate name but here some resources that you can read for more info
Oh, if it’s like that, I don’t need to be afraid of external control, right
thank you so much
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Damn!
Long time no see!
Operational update
Vine awaits…
Most accurately is to call him binaye btw 
I ain’t leaving beleth, berith or Gaap without knowing everything about them and writing the most complete tome about them.
This is the eighth month of my three month pathworking with Beleth 
More accurately bileit!!
Anyways, I been sucked into working with gaaps form as goap, the fiery king and his aspect as the zoroastrian div known as Vizaresh.
But aslo filling the watery aspect of this magnificent spirit known as elelogap.
I wrote an Incantation inspired by him, about the heavenly cleansing waters and translated into Ancient Egyptian which would make a lot of sense.
Rejuvenation , renewal with the heavenly waters
O heavenly waters, rain upon me
Fill my Charlie
So it may be shattered by thy Divine essence, so a god may rise
From the River
As ra rose from your river
I too shall rise from the river of the darkness of nun.
O mꜣꜣt nṯr, wḏꜣ ḏd mꜣ
ḏꜣ ḏḥwty mꜣ
ḏwḏ nḏt mꜣ nṯr, wḏs nṯr
Mꜣ ḏr
Kꜣ rꜥ ḏr nꜣ
ḏꜣ nṯr mꜣ ḏr n ḫꜣ ḏd
Phonetic Pronunciation:
O ma-at neter, wedja ded ma
Daa dhewty ma
Dewed nedet ma neter, wedas neter
Ma der
Ka ra der na
Daa neter ma der en kha d
ed
Sharing this because I am proud of it and feel the emenating power from it 
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Current set up
Funny looking but oh boy it does work like a mf!
It is my pyramid idol, with sigil of beleth’s aspect as balath, a distinct yet same character of the Central being of beleth.
Currently in a pretty bad period of my life, since I am in near constant pain in teeth and neck but due in cooperating within me the being of baal Berith, I serve the said mitzvahs and commandments without regard in so doing I reach the doint and being that I shoot for.
In so doing even in misery,I am silent and blissful. Dinstict from pain and I make sure to not interfere with my external duties. In so doing over the past week I wrote 5k words on a daily whilst doing more than expected in my daily study and work.
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Poetic way of thankfulness with some Solomonic and ancient Israelite way of thought.
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Update on the book
I shall.
This the probably the greatest thing I can offer to them.
Crazy to see how my individual worship and pathworking can rise to that or many. But this is of course for the ancient names…
Page: 460
But the daily mitzvah of the scribe is still not served till this hour…
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Operational Update
Yesterday, I was not in the ideal form even while i entered the second day theurgy in so doing my work was lacking.
I again directed myself into the Ideal state, in so doing I completed very tired the duty of the scribe that is 5k words a. Day by one in the morning while aslo prepping for my exams.
Today, I wrote another 5k before 2pm
As seen the photo reference which is before the 170k mark. Now it is170k. In so doing I am one step ahead from the pic.
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Maintained the same level of will, power, mood ever Since yet sometimes I even extended rhr standard and effort levels in so doing slowly i building higher and higher normals and standards.
Same work, and even more.
Didn’t fell into the non ideal nor undesirable. I embraced the flames of hellfire and instead in so doing from negative I preferred the effective path.
I am celebrating 15 days ever since, because I almost duplicated the contents of my book in two weeks rather than my usual on and off writing which I reached the half in like 8 months.
So in 15 days I almost did my usual 8 month work.
Plus, as you might noticed, I attainment stability even in the face of chaos.
This is what a consider, a soul lessons, a karmic lesson. A thing that is passed or attained that changes you forever, that changes the way of operation forever.
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190k words
Almost 560 pages
And on going…
I think I can truly revive their cults and demonically modernize them…
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Best feeling the world…
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If I ever compete my dreams of having a large scale temple, an improsived and bigger version of this will be made but not as a a jar put a pot, a vase.
Whilst an chalice of that contains fire will aslo be made - parralel to zoroastrians practices.
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800pages
300.000 words on beleth, gaap and berith.
Before shabbat that is initiated at tamid.
Personal work is still not finished. The reconstructed and demonised rejunivated temple practices still not. The spellbook of the marshals are still not finished.
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Reconsturction of Baal Berith’s temple in Shechem.
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Currently Writing
To Enter the Gate of Banaye, One must get the blessing Of Baal By Berith.
An Continuation of Subchapter Baal’Berith, - Balperit – Belfreth, With Focus On Belfreth.
which will stand as one of the most concluding chapters of: Myself, Pathworking and Demonology speaking as it Aslo clears the Way of King Paymon - Baal and the the interconnections between them. thus enter the gate into the infernal empire.
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New fav audio meditation.
Hits like a brick 
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thinking of rejuvenating my youtube channel.
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going biblical in this one!
very interesting to see what Kind of advancements will I gain upon change of leadership and covenant initiation with Sabnak.
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