“Dumb” things you thought as a newbie? Thread

I thought after I was initiated, I could lose my eye prescription and have 20/20 vision. It didn’t happen, I was very disappointed.

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I have attempted to use magick to cure my partal blindness. It never seems to work though

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I used to think as a newbie that calling a demon, meant that at night when everyone else was asleep, they would just show up in my room or just chill outside my bedroom window until I noticed them, like those scenes in True Blood

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You can do that still, you will just have to get the physics straight in your ritual. You would have to channel the spirit through a live actor or a robot.

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@MountainGod I am afraid of offering my mind.

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Have you tried sand and spittle? Just watch out for cornea abrasion.

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I can understand that reservation.
To be entirely honest, I was terrified of doing it too.
But the one time I did undergo a possession rite, it was a really good experience, actually.
It was with Azazel, and he was incredibly “gentle” about how he did it (I guess my anxiety was particularly obvious :sweat_smile:). He didn’t assume full control over me (closer to 60/40), and mostly spent the time in me telling about how I could better myself and my understanding of the Spirit world.
I forget if he told me this, or if I read it somewhere, but what you said brought to mind a quote that I like a lot.
“The left hand path starts with domination, but ends with submission.”

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Franz Bardon’s son Lumiar (I think that’s how his name is spelled) published a hermeticism experiment that he used to cure his near sightedness. And I know of another hermeticist named Martin Faulks (he’s got a YouTube channel) who used hermetic methods to cure his myopia.
So maybe it is actually possible, and you just haven’t found the right tools?

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My experience has been that they actually do show up and hang around more often than not. When I was new it was more about my inability to see and hear them versus them not posting.

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It’s a freakin trip the first few times you hear a demon talk in your head w/ astral hearing. I was like “fuck- that wasn’t my voice in there!” It overran all my thoughts and was in a deep yet tinny sound with a little reverb." It was the Dutchess Gremory and she said “I can do that for you.”

It was so clear and obviously not me.

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2016, as a newbie, after summoning Andres by mistake, he pinned me on my bed and almost rubbed the skin off both arms, No lie. It was terrifying.

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I thought that Thelema was the next religion and Aleister Crowley was great. Problem was, I couldn’t understand Crowley. Later on, when I started to understand Crowley’s Magick I realised that it wasn’t worth the ritualistic effort and all the special (northern hemisphere) ingredients. And everything was complicated.

Then I thought that if I could get one of those rare, eye wateringly expensive, limited editions of Austin Osman Spare, somehow that would help me.

I thought that if I had my own altar, in my own temple…

Al.

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I thought I should trust people’s “expertise” just because they came across as knowledgeable and were all over the forum or YouTube with their views and opinions, when in fact their path has nothing to do with mine and I’m supposed to figure out for myself what’s what. It’s fine to take others’ ideas and opinions into consideration on a factual level, but beware of trusting others more than yourself. I’d advise my newbie self to be critical and not to be intimidated by elaborate word salad and grand posturing.

A looming thought was “What if it’s all in my head”, which isn’t dumb per se. I think it protects you from getting inflated ideas about your abilities (usually when you haven’t developed any yet), and can be a good thing to keep you grounded. But past a certain point, when the messages you get are confirmed by others over and over, you need to start trusting in your ability to discern.

At the very beginning, I thought “what if the bible was right and demons are evil”. :woman_facepalming: However, I’m glad I never fell for the fluffy demon buddy bullcrap and always approached “demons” with respect and later, thankfully, with a healthy dose of confidence.

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I have tried to find objective gnosis over the years. So far I have failed spectacularly

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Yes, I have come to learn this too, I meant that I used to think they would manifest in human form ahaha

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I thought “Olympic spirits” was another way of referring to the Olympean gods. :woman_facepalming:t3::see_no_evil:

I thought mental projection/remote viewing was the same as OOBE/astral projection.

Probably plenty of other dumb things but those are the two that immediately come to mind.

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Same

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Since I have not yet done either one. What is the difference?

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[cringes at past self] :grimacing:

I’m sure people have their own definitions and will gladly argue with me on this but… for me personally:

  • mental projection is being in deep trance, usually eyes closed and shutting out any external noise, while strongly imagining your consciousness being present in another place. It is largely dependent on your continued focus/concentration and your ability to imaginatively fill in the details of the space you’re inhabiting.

  • in AP/OOBE you are fully “awake”, aware, eyes open, all senses engaged. in some cases it is almost exactly identical to the real world, to the point where you will question whether you are actually awake in the real world or not. you can interact with the environment and with other objects, animate and inanimate, and the environment/objects do NOT rely on your focused concentration to maintain themselves in the space. seemingly contrary to what I said about it being difficult to differentiate between AP and actually being awake, there is usually a dreamlike element to the experience, like the environment might be totally fantastical, or it might be an amalgamation of different places you have been to before.

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I was raised going to church and believing in God, as lots of people have. However, I personally took an interest in mythology. Greek, Norse, Egyption, Hindu, Japanese. Mostly Norse. I was an avid fan of anime, especially Digimon and Yugioh. As well as anything fantasy. I also had a strong imagination that loved coming up with its own stories. I especially took an interesting in the darker figures of mythology, because villains always looked cooler than heroes. However, I was constantly told that none of this stuff was real and that I needed to “Grow Up.” I fuck’n hate that phrase. It was basically a form of harassment.

In spite of this, I was still dragged to church each Sunday, made to pray before meals, forced to go to bible study, barred from anything “Too Vulgar”, all while being raised to believe in God, angels, demons, and prophets. Once again, this is very typical for most kids growing up. But to me, being told that one magical thing wasn’t real but that another was was extremely insulting. Especially when believing in anything like that was considered “Immature”.

I “believed” in God because I wanted something magical in my life, and that was the only magical thing I was allowed to believe in. I still had my interests, but my family allowed it under protest, hoping that one day I’d abandon them and “Join the real world.” I still hated going to church because it was boring.

Around 8th grade, I started to lose faith. Once again, I was told through out my life that magic wasn’t real. I never told anyone, but I still was doubting. Then after graduation, the Summer before highschool, I found a section on the occult in my local library, where I got my books on mythology. I began to see that it was all real. I not only gained faith in the gods I loved reading about as a kid, but my own faith in the Christian God. In fact, I began to catch that some books on magick involved him, so I thought that all magick came from him. That, I’d say, was my mistake as a newbie.

Over time, I accumulated negative experiences in my teenage years. Eventually, I got to the point that, to survive, I needed to develop a way of thinking that made me superior to others. I decided to believe that I was persecuted because my autism made me closer to God and that the neurotypical world was by nature wicked and sinful. I adopted esoteric Christianity, scorning all other gods, the ones I once loved as a kid. I also vented my frustration by willfully segregating myself from others. This is something I’m not proud of, but I understand it was a necessary action at the time. I was motivated to think this way because I saw myself as an outcast.

As I got to college, I continued down my path. I noticed that the Christian doctrine became more and more alien. Once again, I saw myself as an outcast. Once I became aware of the persecution caused by the Christian faith, I grew to hate it and its god. So, I turned to Norse Paganism. However, I kept to my old Abrahamic beliefs, but attached them to Paganism.

Over time, I embraced Satanism, then Luciferianism, then Demonolatry, then Hermeticism and ceremonial magick. Over time, I began to not see the world in an us vs them stance. I know that me being autistic doesn’t make me any more or less moral than anyone else. If anything, my condition is at best an advantage, but at worst a disadvantage. I’ve abandoned all concepts of collectivism, and instead adopted individualism as my main philosophy.

Essentially, keeping to Christian faith in spite of the existence to other gods (who I had a better relationship with) was in my opinion my biggest mistake.

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