Yeah, church is really boring because you know what is going to happen. It isn’t exactly an esoteric practice with lots of excitement to it. When I summon a demon, I don’t know how they are going to show up, or if I will even get any visuals at all. Even reading tarot cards is exciting, because I don’t know what cards I am going to pick or what they are going to say to me.
Fundamentally, church is boring because you know there is going to be the so called “miracle of mass”. Sure, it might be predictable, but that hardly makes it exciting.
Actually it was 2 hours just sitting around doing nothing but listening to the sermon. Plus Sunday school. Afterwards it was countless hours of errands. As a kid, I just wanted to stay home and watch tv. I can tell you I got anxiety from these trips. I can’t get into a car with a family member if I’m not driving.
When I returned almost 3 years ago in the occult and had lost my skills, i tried to use a pendulum but was a total fail. Tarot gave me more accurate answers but it was too cryptic and they already speak with riddles and metaphors so, lucky me, I was able to stop communication with divination tools rather early.
When I first started, I thought tarot was a silly card game you played at slumber parties or only true psychics could use them. So I disregarded the advice to do divination before spell work. After proudly manifesting a nice desk job in the middle of nowhere, I decided my clueless boss who everyone despised should find a new job. Five weeks after doing a spell, he was gone. Then all hell broke loose!
I thought I had no natural ability but after beginning tarot, I was astonished. I worked only with the major arcana for the first two months and could predict which card I’d pull. Glasya Labolas pounding on the doors or the crypt keeper showing up at the end of my bed didn’t faze me. Oh but those tarot cards and my own mind freaked me out! (And still do sometimes).
I started my journey at a very young age on my own. I did find some good sources of information. But at the time, my child mind was already polluted with shows like ‘Wizards of Waverly Place’. So for a short period of time, I deadass believed that just by making up rhymes, I could make something happen if put enough focus and energy into my desired outcome. Like, no joke, I’d really think saying “car up, car down, car fly to the sky like a butterfly” would ACTUALLY make the car suddenly fly
I thought that magic was a science ( it is but not like I thought). So I spent a lot of time studying “true” spells, as opposed to the modern ones that were obviously made up. I thought that I could find the patterns that made the magic work.
I also spent ridiculous amounts of time looking for the “true” meanings of the tarot. Another wasted pursuit. The fallacy is the thought that only the most ancient crap had any power at all. Thank goodness for LaVey
Actually, I would think that ancient stuff would lose its potency after a while. I mean, that is why people converted to shit like xtianity after all the ancient pagan religions got less popular. I mean, even the bible goes on about stuff not working.
I think a lot of people want to go onto the whole “its older, its better” but basically the whole structure of our society has moved on, and that is why a lot of current religions no longer work for a lot of people.
So, why would I bother, for instance, actually going to do the whole “complete and total possession by Asteroth” thing. I guess I figured so old myth about Ianna, Isis, Astarte etc no longer really applied, because they belonged to ancient civilizations that no longer exist, so I was right more or less. (the original goddess myth for instance, never mentions freemasonry, or a global order of programmers.)
That magick, low or high would not be diffuicult, or a path of hardship. Nothing is easy, there are rarely free things in life, and there are no shortcuts are what Ive learned.
“Oh, this reminds me of what my grandmother does. This is cool, I’ll try this out for a month or two before moving on to something else”
-almost fourteen years later-
In all seriousness, my biggest waste of time (and paper) was worrying about getting the “correct correspondences”. I ruined my first journal just on tables of that alone. The “correct ones” ultimately only matter in two contexts: if you are aligning with the specific tradition they come from and if they actual call to you in that way. The entire point of it is to help connect what you are doing to your mind to shape your reality, so ultimately figuring out what things such as colors and scents represent to you is a far better approach than copying lists
I thought that people would evoke spirits, and that when done properly and with enough force, the spirit would manifest physically. And, I was pissed off that I couldn’t make that happen, and that no one could teach it to me, since I thought that meant I was simply doing it wrong the whole time and was learning it incorrectly.
Welcome @marshsur It is a rule of this forum for all new members to properly introduce themselves, so PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practiced, areas of interest, etc:
