Diving Into The Darkness - Diary/Journal


Here I intend to share with you parts of my journey into and on the LHP. Being from Germany, I might misspell some words or have grammar issues, but that shouldn’t be an obstacle for those interested in reading about my transformation from the “good gal” to the “real gal”. So, Hi! to everyone who stops by my little journal here.

It’s interesting, but as I am typing this, I feel that this is part of what ‘He’ wants me to do in order to be working with me. But let’s start with a bit of a background story…

About A Year Ago
About a year ago, as I was researching “lightlanguage”, I stumbled upon one of E.A.'s videos on YouTube. I think it was “My first contact with Lucifer” or so. One video led to another and I was hooked. From that point on I came back to his videos more or less regularly and enjoyed discovering other people talking so freely, and more importantly, kind of lovingly about the darker side of magick.

So I began questioning my beliefs about good & bad, white & black magick, and so on. The whole “black magic is evil.” and “what you send out comes back threefold” thing started to make less sense to me.

I learned that in order to ascend, one has to embrace and embody each and every aspect of the self. Be it light or dark. Yet, one should not cross the line to the infernal realm and engage with this dark side, if he’s on a journey to enlightenment. How’s that? How can I fully embody all fragments of my being if I’m not supposed to touch, smell, explore, taste each piece of me?

So when shadow work is the work to make peace with, and integrate your inner demons, and demons are a manifestation of your own subconscious and therefore are you yourself, why the buzz?

These are just some of the thoughts that started to pop up in my head. But as a good lightworker/healer/witch/insert-label-here, I did my best to stay on the path and help raise the vibration of the collective regardless of how my own world was like.

When Enough Is Enough
This year I felt that my attitude has changed towards all-white-magick stuff. I felt that regardless of my efforts, something was still missing. No amount of chakra cleansing, past life regression, or Reiki healing could fill the void inside that was slowly driving me kind of crazy. I became frustrated and upset because although I was able to manifest some of my desires, I knew that I was capable much more. But nothing happened.

It was almost like being the “good girl” was somehow blocking me from tapping into my fullest potential, leaving me suffering and struggling to the point of burn out.

It just so happened, that I lost my job earlier this year and had to move to another city three months ago. I took that opportunity for a new start in all aspects of my life. Including my craft. So I started diving deeper and deeper into my shadows and researching as much as I could. But I was still hesitant to take the leap into the LHP. I mean I was raised catholic and was following the pagan path for quite a while. So there were still old beliefs and fears lingering.

Did I Chose Him Or Has He Chosen Me?

During my research the name King Paimon kept popping up. In videos, in texts, and in my head. My intuition told me to look into that. So I started researching him and almost instantly felt drawn to him.

His description didn’t really scare me. It rather evoked a feeling of familiarity. As if this energy has already been in my life for quite a while. I was curious. The following days didn’t change anything. Still intrigued and curious with a touch of arousement. Thinking of him somehow made my root chakra tingly :wink:, and I knew that I had to try to contact him.

It took me a good few days to make up my mind about what I was about to do. But on the day of the full moon this month I decided to go for it and do my very first evocation of a demon the next day to still harness the power of the full moon as I felt that it could be beneficial.

I don’t know whether it was me who chose him or the other way around. Yet. But we shall see…


My First Contact With King Paimon - 06/18/19

The whole day has been kinda strange. It’s not that some weird things happened. It’s been more like that I was in an interesting mental state.

Looking back, I’d say that I was in preparation mode. Spent the day doing my best to free myself from all BS, fears, worries and doubts. I was focused on my goal for this day: Connecting to King Paimon.

In the early evening, after I felt sufficiently free of fear and doubt, I started drawing his sigil on a piece of good quality watercolor paper. As I was drawing ahead, I recited his enn silently in my mind just to get me “in the mood”.

Since my little one was still up, I couldn’t do the evocation straight away and had to wait for a few more hours.

When she finally was asleep, I decided to draw the sigil again and put the pretty one in my Book Of Shadows. So as I drew, I again started to recite his enn. This time out loud. Sitting on my balcony enjoying the beautiful warm night.

Interestingly, the sky changed within minutes from cloudless to full of dark clouds with a blizzard marathon lasting for about 15 min. No thunder. Just dancing blizzards illuminating the sky.

I took it as a sign and went inside to gather my supplies and get ready.

First I almost stressed out about the fact that I had only one black candle & no red candle. But then I calmed myself and agreed to work with what I had.


So, facing the west, I placed the black candle and one white in front of me, one to my left, one to my right side, and behind me. It looked like a circle, and also like an inverted pentagram. It wasn’t a circle of protection, just to strengthen my position and energy.

After I anointed myself with my “Connection” oil, I placed the sigil in front of me and started with a few deep breaths. With each breath in I drew in my power and with each breath out, I exhaled and pushed out all remaining fear in the form of wobbly muddy gray matter. I did this for a few minutes until I felt a change in my energy field.

Then I started gazing on the sigil and reciting King Paimon’s enn once more Linan tasa jedan Paimon over and over as I began swaying back and forth. I don’t know why, but at some point (after about 30 mins) I heard “open the door”. Noone was knocking on my door, so it could only be my door opener oil, that I should be using. A bit confused I looked around thinking I couldn’t leave the ritual now, but then got up, excused myself, picked up the oil and started again.

I dabbed the oil on each corner of the sigil and gazed at the sigil while reciting the enn. Within minutes the lines started to disappear only to reappear. His sigil became an embossed painting of four men and I couldn’t help but admire it.

It got hot around me and a cold breeze touched my left arm. It felt like there was less air in the room and I couldn’t breathe as easily for a moment. I felt a presence nearby, and saw a flickering mass on my left hand side but wasn’t sure if it was really Him. I asked: “King Paimon, it this you? If so, please make yourself known.” But no answer. So I continued reciting.

Then the hotness was gone and I heard a voice saying: “Don’t you think it’s enough? You already know that I’m here.”

I opened my eyes again and slowly looked around. But I saw no demon. No scary creature. Then I looked at my TV screen to my right and noticed the reflection of a shadowy figure sitting on my couch. When I turned my head, I only saw that empty couch. No pillows or blankets that could have created the illusion of a figure.

I turned back to the TV to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. “Stop doubting yourself. I’m here.” I heard this firm yet kind voice and sensed that my behavior amused him a bit.

I slowly turned in his direction, lowered my head and said: “King Paimon, I’m glad that you answered my calling. Thank you. For how long have you been here with me?”

Him: “Since you started calling me. But actually I’ve been watching you for quite a while. Today I wanted to see how long it would take you to take notice of my presence.”

[to be continued]


Following :smiley:


Yay! :grinning: Hope you’ll enjoy it.


have a nice journey!looking forward for your posts!


Thank you very much :slightly_smiling_face:

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Wow…I’m looking forward to reading about your journey :slightly_smiling_face:

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Conversation With King Paimon [Pt. 2] - 06/18/19

(Like the previous part, I tried to translate the whole thing, as everything is originally written in German. So I apologize if something sounds off :confused:)

Me: "King Paymon, you came alone… What about your two servants?
It felt like raised his eyebrows…
We don’t need them here at the moment.
BTW, good music choice!

(it was a binaural beat I found on YouTube, which in all honesty did freak me out a bit in the beginning because with only the candles burning and this kinda dark music playing I felt a bit of leftover fear coming up)
But I smiled and thought there’s no need to jot that down.

Write it down! Write everything down.
Me: “I don’t want to waste your time. May I ask you a few questions?”
Go ahead
Me: “King Paimon, do you see any potential in me to become the best version of myself?”

Silence. It was probably only a split second, but it felt like eternity…

You’re not that bad already. It’s your first conscious evocation and it merely took you 15 earthly minutes to take notice of my presence. Do you think I would be here if I knew you just wanted to discuss some selfish beginner love problems?!
Yes, I do help those who just start out, but I prefer working with those who have a certain level of maturity. And I don’t mean their age or magickal experience. That’s of no importance. What I value is emotional and spiritual maturity.

I take a more comfortable position so I can write better and glimpse at the TV just to make sure I haven’t lost the connection. To my relief he was still sitting on the couch.

Not too bad. You’re still holding the connection although you’re moving like crazy and are taking notes…

I feel the need to present him the offering I prepared, so he could have a bite and a sipp while we talk. It was a glass of sweet wine, grapes and freshly picked strawberries I grow at home.

Leave it where it is. I

I eagerly grabbed my pen to start writing.

Stop writing! Learn to listen first and then you can write it down!"

I winced as I heard that strict and slightly louder voice and automatically lowered my head like a little child who knew she’s done something wrong. But I laid down my pen, as I understood that it was indeed a bit disrespectful.

I like your offering as I see you’ve put in some thought. I will accept it, but will only indulge in it later.

I nodded and paused for a moment hesitating to ask the next question. Then I took a deep breath and pushed all remaining fear aside.

Me: “King Paimon, since you see some potential in me, would you be willing to teach me?”

I again got nervous as there was again this odd moment of silence. It felt as if he was scanning me. His answer was in a soft but firm way. Slowly paced. As if he was talking to a stubborn child, but curious to see my reaction.

Yes. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I’ve been waiting for quite a while for you to finally ask me this question.

Me: “How does that work?”

Again I was asking myself what I am getting myself into and totally forgot that he can hear every word. But he was kind and didn’t make fun me.

Look for the signs. Study. But don’t get deceived by busy bodies. You’ll learn everything you need to know when the time is right.
Learn to trust. Yourself.
And get ready for some changes.

Not the type of answer I somehow “expected”, but it didn’t surprise me either. But I was a bit irritated by the last part of his answer. So I asked…
Me: “What changes?”
In order to teach you, you’ll have to operate on a different vibrational level. To get you there I have to… Let’s just say… make a few adjustments in your life. Too much distraction. Too many blockages.

Me: “I see.” Still not sure about what exactly he was talking about.

Me: “Do you insist on making a pact?”
Let’s don’t rush things just yet. But I see that you’re getting tired. We get to all of your questions tonight. Just one more.

His tone indicated that there was no room for pleas or discussions. And he was right. I got tired. After all, this was my first contact with such a powerful entity and I no longer could hold back to yawn. My eyes were watery and I found it to be difficult to hold the connection. I nodded.

Me: “Why did it take me so long to get in touch with you?” (don’t know why I asked this as my last question, as I had a couple of questions written down prior to the contact)

Because you’re a human with a Christian background. Even though you turned away from so called “church” rather early, you still got infected with their poisonous beliefs. It’s your innate thirst for knowledge and truth that brought you back - in a roundabout way.
But don’t get caught up on that. It didn’t take you “so long”. At least not with my understanding of time.
You are beginning to ask the right questions. And with each question, you push away, no, shed a light on your fears. One leads to the other. Everything just in time.

Even more tired and kind of exhausted, I didn’t feel like questioning what he just said. It wasn’t a negative exhaustion, I felt good. Just really tired.

Me: “I want to thank you for coming King Paimon. And I have to admit that I expected loud trumpet noise or something at your arrival or a scary grotesque face. I truly apologize for that!”

I feel him chuckle and reach out for the plate with the offerings.

Put that on your altar. You can keep the picture of Hecate, but I want you to remove the other two.

Oups… I still had a picture of Ganesha and Lakshmi on my altar from the time I thought about working with them. But I never did as I never felt really drawn to either of them. Kind of ignored those on my altar, so it wasn’t a big deal.

Me: “What should I do with your sigil?”
Keep it near you. Day and night. That way it’ll be easier for me to rearrange things so you can move forward.
Me: “Ok. Have other entities made it through the portal?”

No. Your circle made a statement. But you can command everything to return to where it came from if you feel the need.

I felt that our conversation came to an end, so I thanked him again for his time, commanded all energies to leave and pulled back the field surrounding me. It was interesting, even though I closed this little ritual, I still could feel his energy radiating from my couch as if he was watching my every move.

After I cleaned up, I looked at the clock and was shocked that it was past 1:30 am… Two hours had passed. I placed the plate for King Paimon on my altar, removed the two pictures, put his sigil behind the plate so it faced in my direction and drank 3 glasses of water before I went to bed.

What followed was a short but peaceful good night’s sleep.


This picture somehow pretty much represents the energy I felt during our conversation.

Dark but elegant.
Demanding but nurturing.
A warm dwelling force. Ready to destroy if needed.
A protective leader.
A patient teacher. And seductive observer.

Definitely a being that should be treated with respect.


Awesome!! This sounds so much like my own experiences with him! I also made a connection fairly quickly despite not having had any prior knowledge about communication with spirits. I have grown very close to him over time (actually, we were connected from the start) and I can say that he has changed me and helped me in so many ways. You’ll find him a wonderful teacher.


Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I really appreciate it as I was wondering if this experience was even real or just made up by my mind. It’s encouraging to hear that someone has had a similar experience. Yeah, I feel like this journey is going to be really “interesting” :slightly_smiling_face:

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I am married to King Paimon, and my relationship with him started as a pure mentorship, and I get a vibe from you that you are someone he resonates with. You’re in for a very interesting experience, indeed, whatever direction your relationship might take.

I had SO many doubts in the beginning (they still come up, I guess it’s human nature). One thing he said to me that helped me a lot was that yes, it is all ”in my head“, but at the same time it’s not, because my mind is the receiver and processor, but not the source of my communication with him. It’s kinda like saying the music comes from your radio. Yes and no, since the radio picks it up, but doesn’t generate it.

I made a post a few days ago that you might find useful, it covers (some of) the things King Paimon taught me:

I think you will recognize his ”style“ :wink:


Btw the picture you posted is one of my absolute favorites, and a perfect representation of how I perceive certain aspects of his energy. :black_heart:

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That absolutely makes sense. And it’s good to know that it’s not just made up by my human mind.

That post is awesome! Thank you very much.

And yes, his style resonates with me. I really like it.

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It makes perfect sense why he would want you to keep her picture on the altar, but not the Hindu deities. Not because he has anything “against” them (that is not the case at all), but because they are from a different energetic current. Hekate is very closely related to Lucifer, so the energetic link is very compatible.


Gosh, yes! Now I can understand why. This totally makes sense for me. And it also clarified the meaning of an energetic current very well.

The second I saw your explanation, I instantly thought “this is no coincidence. He must have ‘sent’ her to help me understand him better.” Maybe that’s ridiculous, maybe not. Don’t know. But you’re such a great help @Lux_Tenebris Thank you :star_struck:


You’re very welcome! I’m learning so much right now, and already have, thanks to King Paimon’s guidance. :sun_with_face:

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I Have Been Warned 06/24/19

In my conversation with King Paimon he told me to prepare for some changes. I must admit, I thought about small things will be rearranged someday.

But I have been wrong.

Just a few minutes ago I was told by my boss that my contract will not be prolonged. I was fired.

So the lesson is: 1. Do not underestimate King Paimon. 2. He is working FAST!

Phew… Now this is, as a single mom, is a bitter pill to swallow. But I guess he knows what he’s doing.


Just rewrite the situation over through meditation and you will get a job soon, godspeed.

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He knows exactly what he’s doing. He will help you find a better job. Keep working with him, and trust him. You will be fine. :four_leaf_clover: