PREFACE
Here I intend to share with you parts of my journey into and on the LHP. Being from Germany, I might misspell some words or have grammar issues, but that shouldn’t be an obstacle for those interested in reading about my transformation from the “good gal” to the “real gal”. So, Hi! to everyone who stops by my little journal here.
It’s interesting, but as I am typing this, I feel that this is part of what ‘He’ wants me to do in order to be working with me. But let’s start with a bit of a background story…
About A Year Ago
About a year ago, as I was researching “lightlanguage”, I stumbled upon one of E.A.'s videos on YouTube. I think it was “My first contact with Lucifer” or so. One video led to another and I was hooked. From that point on I came back to his videos more or less regularly and enjoyed discovering other people talking so freely, and more importantly, kind of lovingly about the darker side of magick.
So I began questioning my beliefs about good & bad, white & black magick, and so on. The whole “black magic is evil.” and “what you send out comes back threefold” thing started to make less sense to me.
I learned that in order to ascend, one has to embrace and embody each and every aspect of the self. Be it light or dark. Yet, one should not cross the line to the infernal realm and engage with this dark side, if he’s on a journey to enlightenment. How’s that? How can I fully embody all fragments of my being if I’m not supposed to touch, smell, explore, taste each piece of me?
So when shadow work is the work to make peace with, and integrate your inner demons, and demons are a manifestation of your own subconscious and therefore are you yourself, why the buzz?
These are just some of the thoughts that started to pop up in my head. But as a good lightworker/healer/witch/insert-label-here, I did my best to stay on the path and help raise the vibration of the collective regardless of how my own world was like.
When Enough Is Enough
This year I felt that my attitude has changed towards all-white-magick stuff. I felt that regardless of my efforts, something was still missing. No amount of chakra cleansing, past life regression, or Reiki healing could fill the void inside that was slowly driving me kind of crazy. I became frustrated and upset because although I was able to manifest some of my desires, I knew that I was capable much more. But nothing happened.
It was almost like being the “good girl” was somehow blocking me from tapping into my fullest potential, leaving me suffering and struggling to the point of burn out.
It just so happened, that I lost my job earlier this year and had to move to another city three months ago. I took that opportunity for a new start in all aspects of my life. Including my craft. So I started diving deeper and deeper into my shadows and researching as much as I could. But I was still hesitant to take the leap into the LHP. I mean I was raised catholic and was following the pagan path for quite a while. So there were still old beliefs and fears lingering.
Did I Chose Him Or Has He Chosen Me?
During my research the name King Paimon kept popping up. In videos, in texts, and in my head. My intuition told me to look into that. So I started researching him and almost instantly felt drawn to him.
His description didn’t really scare me. It rather evoked a feeling of familiarity. As if this energy has already been in my life for quite a while. I was curious. The following days didn’t change anything. Still intrigued and curious with a touch of arousement. Thinking of him somehow made my root chakra tingly 
, and I knew that I had to try to contact him.
It took me a good few days to make up my mind about what I was about to do. But on the day of the full moon this month I decided to go for it and do my very first evocation of a demon the next day to still harness the power of the full moon as I felt that it could be beneficial.
I don’t know whether it was me who chose him or the other way around. Yet. But we shall see…
Hope you’ll enjoy it.
)
