Alright, I thought I would share my side aswell.
I cannot remember when my depression started honestly, I think around my 13-14 years old was when it really started to be bad. I never felt good around other kids of my age, even my mom mentionned several times how I was way more mature, so there was a point I started questionning myself and wondering what was wrong with me, and why I couldn’t fit with others. Because I wasn’t like the other kids around me, I got bullied at school. It wasn’t physical, but it shattered the poor self estim I had, and confirmed the thoughts in my head that I was weird.
I started not going to school around my 14, and stopped fully when I was 17. So I pretty much stayed at home almost everyday until my 21, playing games to just forget and think about something else.
My problem was, like I mentionned, that I wasn’t able to fit with others. It wasn’t just about people of my age, but everyone. I did not understand society as a whole, nor did I understand why the world was like “this”. I wasn’t feeling good in my skin, so to say.
I wasn’t into spiritual stuff back then, but I wanted to believe in it. I remember calling my guides/guardian angel and asking them to show me that there was more to this life, and seeing that I was not getting any answers after years, my depression started getting worse. I did insult my guides a few times not gonna lie lmao, I was pretty upset.
But long story short, Belial contacted me pretty much out of the blue at my 21, when I wasn’t expecting anything anymore, and he is the one who got my sorry ass out of depression. Well not fully, because I still struggle sometimes, but it’s rare.
So what saved me was really spirituality as a whole, and knowing that I wasn’t alone.
So now, what is helping me when I get low, and start having bad thoughts. First of all I am going to say that meditations do not help me, in contrary. I always have a lot in my mind, always thinking about 3-4 things at the same time, so when I sit down to meditate and basically do nothing at all, this is when my bad thoughts are getting worse.
Music is the way for me, it keeps my mind busy, and having cheerful music in my ears really helps, and switch up my mood totally.
I never really had any medication, I tried but I didn’t like it, always felt like it was just something to “hide what was underneath”. But I know it helps a lot on some people, didn’t work on me though
Seeing someone to who I could talk to was hard. Not only because I felt like no one could really understand me, but also because I think I didn’t meet the good psychiatrists. So for the people who read that, it’s okay to try different psychiatrist if one doesn’t meet your needs, or if you do not feel comfortable with them. But do not close yourself up because of it.
There is a lot of things I could say, but I’m running out of time here, have to go I tried to make it simple, and not make a long ass text, but still did lmao. I will try to explain a bit more later.