Alright that’s enough - @Davyboi if you want a scan, go to the scan SWAP topic you’ve been linked, if you want to just read and watch videos that’s cool, go here: Some Member Resources & Tips.
This book will cover most seeming paradoxes you’ll find regarding what’s “real” and what’s “just in your mind”: The Kybalion PDF, archived link (we don’t trade PDFs on here as a general rule but this one is okay, the text is out of copyright and the edition was given for download from the site that created it).
Do some magick, open a sigil maybe:
See what happens and then come back with questions after you’ve done some of these things. 