Thank You.
I might think about it. For now, I am taking a break until Winter Solstice.
I am keeping silent on one of the Angels/Demons that has come to me.
I seek the Light and to own my Darkness.
I seek my blood to boil as the Dragon comes forth.
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I have decided this will be my very last post on the forum for a bit and the details do not matter. I am grateful for the opportunity to have learned from others; however, I am learning I must take a step back to be silent.
People will point fingers and shout names on who sets the standards for the Left Hand Path, Black Magick, Satanism, White Magick, etc - I have had enough of this!
Lesson learned: No one sets the boundaries or standards for my life. The only person who can is the person I have to look at in the mirror everyday.
The is no RHP or LHP in my life, they are one in the same in my path. The Goddess who recently tapped me on the shoulder has given the instruction to slow down, to breathe, and to be aware. To allow myself to heal completely, that what I need to learn isn’t through YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, or even this site.
The Southern winds never meant a person; it has always meant to run wild and free in a landscape of the unknown. It means making sacrifices in order to see something through.
It means owning the darkest parts of my thoughts, my abilities. It means owning me.
For Isis sings within the lowest hums and only those humanized can hear her. I don’t need anyone to perform my rituals or give me guidance, I need to trust myself in this hour of darkness.
He brings every negative thought and energy to the surface; the details of working through this is my own business. Yet, it’s between the Goddess who tapped me on the shoulder in the astral plane and Goddess Isis who always pulls the posion out when the lessons have been finished.
There are things I do not write or say. This time I just need time.
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Take care, Jenna.
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It was a pleasure conversing.
Good for you, stick to your own path and agreed there is just the path.
All the best on your journey.
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12 Days is 1 + 2 and this equals three. Three points of a triangle, no matter the size.
The cross makes a triangle.
Good puppy!
This Law of Attraction is going to be the death of me.
Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof!
I take a couple of weeks off, poor myself into the stories of the Bible and whoosh, learning lessons abound. Poof!
Dear Whomever:
Stop linking destiny!
Thank You!
They laugh! I laughed harder at myself!
I give my two weeks notice: I quit!
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Poof.
Odin equals the eyes of the wolf.
Call your lover your Mother, you ought not lay with her.
Call your lover by the wrong name, you have yet to find your destiny. Yet, destiny is like the river and I belong to no one.
King James used the Bible as a political pamphlet.
You say the name of your abusers, you accuse them in this life. Oh, the fingers pointing back at you when you’ve realized the wrongs you cannot make right.
Throw love away a third time, even though the bones and the heart know - you’re still blinded by your own pain.
Thrice? One, two. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Ding. Ding. Ding. Awoke upon the witching hour. The day before, my energies were sent to the desert. The clock strikes will strike three more times between now and the 21st.
If I stand with her, I stand with you.
First Strike: The past comes to awaken how you have treated others - especially me!
Second Strike: The present comes into view - do you see me?
Third Strike: The future of your pathetic pathworking if you continue on this path without me.
The robes that bind have fallen. The hoot of the owl has called and has been heard.
You know not the meaning of destiny, for I saw you in my dreams as a boy.
I’ve said it twice. I’ll not say it again until the river runs through the course of your dreams where the eyes of the wolf penetrate your entire being.
My Father called.
Correction: The only thing in life that is pathetic, is a life not lived.
Just live.
From Ahriman to Odin, and being handed back to Ahriman.
My sister knows.
The conversation happened.
“Jen, you’re going to have to decide. You cannot stay in limbo between Satanism and the Christianity you know.”
For unto us a child is born…for unto a story was created.
Give me my silence.
I’m talking to and about myself, the thoughts come to fast. To intense. I only wanted to break a chain.
Instead, I broke a dam and the wolves have come. Everything has come back. All of it. Poof!
Every single memory from early childhood until now. Poof. Poof. Poof. Poof!
“The eyes of the wolf see the soul. This is your reality, it’s whatever you make of it.”
Blurp! 
My own pathetic pathworking will suffer if I don’t change the present. 
Blurp! Poof!
My Mother raised a lunatic.
Meaning:
Lunatic is an antiquated term referring to a person who is seen as mentally ill, dangerous, foolish, or crazy—conditions once attributed to " lunacy ." The word derives from lunaticus meaning “of the moon” or “moonstruck”.
Aye! She’s done it again. I’ve been stupified by myself. Poof!
Oh, so this is love?
It’s loving someone so much that you’re willing to set aside the differences to look at what you have in common.
Me to Ahriman: This Law of Attraction thing is still going to kill me.
“Not unless I do it first if you don’t stop with the questions.”
Me: But you told me to ask.
“Now I understand why you drove your Mother nuts.”
Me: Hey. That’s not nice.
“I am being nice.”
Me: I gave you my blood. Now focus with me.
“That wasn’t pomegranates seeds…”
Me: No
“Why blood?”
Me: Now I understand why you drive me to madness.
“Can we get to work?”
Me: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.
Poof!
“You annoy me.”
Me: Good!
I can post as I feel safe to do so here. No one knows about me - the woman who roams the gardens in the gate beyond the gate. I cannot right my wrongs nor change the past; yet, I can change to set intentions for the future.
Sunday, 12/20/2020
Sunrise 7:51 AM MST
Sunset 5:01 PM MST
Key Thing 
Last ritiual of 2020
Working with Ahriman Keys
Be honest
Learn to let go
Accept change
Learn to trust
Jealousy has no place in relationships
Ahriman: “You’re gonna have to learn how to trust. I cannot and will not allow you to be your own destruction. I’ve seen enough of your pathetic nature.”
And if I go another year being single, all alone without ever being to tell people what I think?
Ahriman: “How many times have you’ve been warned about the intense aloneness on the path you’ve embraced?”
At least a thousand times.
The rest of the invokation with Ahriman does not matter, as I was handed off to Goddess Isis to realize the humaness of my soul. The shadow work has not been easy, it hasn’t been fun and there is more that I must do.
Goddess Isis: “Are you ready for all of this?”
No.
Goddess Isis: “You know you’re going to be okay, all of this will end the way it’s supposed to.”
The memories.
Goddess Isis: “I told you what would happen if you broken the chains. You did it knowing full well what would happen.”
How did I get here?
Goddess Isis: “A lifetime of feeling like you needed to be perfect.”
The snow doesn’t ever stop.
Goddess Isis: She just smiled
For she wanted Egypt, and a Pharaoh.
What she found was the blood dried among the thrones, the candles still flickered, and her life had become pathtically dull. 2020 was a lesson - stop being dull.
Goddess Isis: “Egypt?”
My last ritiual will be Sunday morning.
Goddess Isis: “You’ve hidden something.”
I’m bound to honesty. So, I simply offer her more honey and tell her what I have done. If you love something, you let it go and hope it will flourish. You put all your energy into something, knowi g you have loved something. It’s like I threw a boomerang, not expecting it to come back because the boomerang turned into a bird. And it flew away.
Goddess Isis: “What if it came back?”
I have to be content with what I have.
I can only strip naked for myself, I’m the one who put up the walls.
Goddess Isis: “Why are you giving me an offering of blood?”
Poof!
“The winters rise on 12/21. She just allows herself to be.”
Pathtic - this word keeps coming up a lot
Oh! Lesson learned.
Time goes backward, then it goes forward?
Have I really been mourning over the loss of what I had with him for the last two years?
Oh my god, yes, I have! Ewwww gross! 
Jealously is what held me back?
My friends: Bingo!
Me: But, why, how…huh, what?
Best Friend Forever: Earth to Jen, come back to earth.
Me: Have I really been that miserable to be around?
BFF: Yep!
Me: I’m so sorry!!!
Them: Yah, sometimes you were a moody bitch.
Me:
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I’ve chosen.
The Winter Solstice brings good tidings to those who have been kind to me along my journey. Those who have lied about my existence and have used me against my knowledge, the egg of Russia cracks. The curses put against me will become lifeless.
Hekate is not happy.
Neither is the Virgin Mary or Goddess Diana.
Move along. Nothing to see.
Those who know how to find the complete workings and memories, yay! Any others, all birds snicker.
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Me to Ahriman: It was never The Age of Aquarius, was it?
There’s been nothing but silence for 48 hours from the spirit world.
I guess I get to figure out the next part of my journey on my own.
Once in a while, an extremely rare “in a while”, it happens… I come across someone, and out of the sudden, without anything that seems to trigger it or something I’m aware of, it feels as if I view something not mine. Something, that - without being able to explain why - it feels to relate strongly and only with the person I came across.
It happened, as I were going through the very first lines of your very first post.
What I “saw”, or rather felt, was beauty. Not your everyday beauty, not the outer beauty that fades away as the skin ages, but great beauty, like deeply rooted within the very core.
A bright beauty, stemming from the very self deeply within one. But, in some way, yet, hidden. I cannot say, if hidden from one self. Or just hidden to the outside world.
As if it were, somehow, waiting to be discovered. And almost like screaming, void of words or sounds though, “Here I am, that’s who I am”… but without asking “Don’t you see me?” … just waiting, patiently … maybe held back from the things happened in their life? Maybe, something not allowing it to blossom into this? I cannot say…
As if, some things that surround that beauty, are holding her back from being that very self deep within.
It felt, as if this strong sensation is the very person who’s words I started reading then.
There were some more impressions I cannot easily explain in words… and I’m not even sure, if I explain well further above (I tried my best, but words are not my strongest skill).
I rarely, if ever, share these things… I may not make any sense right now, even, I don’t know. But let me tell you, I felt, this time I had to share it and just allowed myself to act out of this feeling, or instinct, if you may want to call it that. I hope, it does not offend you in any way.
I admit, I were not even really interested in the topic title, but something felt drawing me to click it.
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Youre definitely attuned to the other side.
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@thejimy - Thank You! 
Your words mean a lot to me, beauty is something that I do mask a lot. My creativeness comes out in words (and dance) and a lot of people think I am a larp. Haha!
@itsnathanm7 - I try! There are a few people I know I can count on to steer me into the right direction when I have questions. Thank you for telling me I am attune, I just do my thing and let myself fly.
You both have made my day!
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