Hello. I was recently wounded very badly by a wishy-washy sort of indecisive person. She has been this way for 8 years, and when things are good they’ve been the best times of my life. But the back & forth annual flip-flopping has been torture. Long and short of it, she is in love with me, and comfortable with me, but feels like she is missing something in her life that will make her truly “Hallmark” happy, and so she has broken my heart again. She does this often, and says she comes back because she can’t stay away from me and can’t bear to see me hurt. This time she says, she is leaving for good though. I thought that we’d spend our lives together, grow old together. But the pain she has bought me this time and so many times over is more than I can stand.
She is still in love with me, I know. She still lusts for me. Every time this has happened, she can’t seem to resist me for long, and she caves sexually. I have always let her cave, rather than initiate anything myself. This way she could never use my “seduction” in a argument. But I can’t resist her either. I have tried, but I suppose I don’t want to at the core of it, so I don’t. My point is, the signs of imminent sexual eruption are flashing, after only a few days post break-up. She has never been able to enjoy sex with someone else she says, she has tried. I feel the same way.
I say all this, because it’s almost like there is already some sort of spell on us. We can’t seem to separate, not that I’ve ever wanted to. We have been apart for months, sometimes completely without contact, and we have been with other people, with no satisfaction until we’re with each other again. She thinks there is something wrong with that. I say it’s love.
But this time, I feel something different. She wants to leave me again, and I am angry. I have always been hurt, but never angry.
So I am hoping for some left-hand path practitioners here, or anymore amoral/neutral: are there any curses of obsession, submission, and/or obedience? I am tired of these games and I want to make her mine in all things.
Anything anyone is willing to share that works and you swear by?
Maybe making a pact?
I have never tried any magic until within this month really. But I was overcome with anger, so I cursed her. I took nine nails, wrote my curses of her obsession with and submission to me upon them, and hammered them into the bottom of one of her shoes as I said them aloud. I also burned some sigils I made with the intent for her and put the ash in the shoe. Then I wrapped in it one of her black shirts, put it in a black bag, walked it to the dumpster of a neighboring town, said my curse out loud one more time, and threw it out, walking home without looking back.
What I then did, was draw the sigils of several demons, focus on them, call out there names, and state my intention thoroughly. I also told them to work together and not against each other, and to work her tirelessly until the results come. These spirits are Sitri, Orias, Dantalion, Sallos, Belial, and Ladilok. I tasked them each according to their strengths in breaking her. I also asked them to strengthen the curses I put upon her.
I have never been able to see or hear the spirits. But I believe they are there.
But not seeing any results after a few days, I tried something else. I did the spell detailed at A heavy binding love spell . I tweaked it a bit. I made the effigy of her out of clay, on her knees, but atop her head I used a lot of her actual hair from her hairbrush, and I bound her hands behind her back with a strand of my hair. I called out as instructed for each pin, and then upon burying it. I buried her upside down, as if to turn her thoughts upside down. I did not, however do this on Friday. I have been operating under the understanding that any spell/ritual is a tool of the caster, and is as powerful as his/her will, and that I could basically tweak or create any I want as long as I put all my energy into it.
I don’t care that her will will be broken. I am not bothered that making her submit to me in all things and crave my approval is a violation of free will. This is her curse. I want her to literally beg for ME to take HER back. I want her to be obsessed in love and lust with me, and I don’t want her to ever entertain the thought of leaving me again. Many people her place curses on people, even death curses, with swift results. So please don’t moralize to me.
Another problem, is she has lots of secret fetishes she is too embarrassed to talk about or share with me. Even when I have caught her with certain stimuli, she wont admit it, and when I try to talk to her about it in a supportive manner, she gets flustered and denies theses things. I want all her inhibition gone. I want her shameless and unafraid to share her fantasies with me. But I suppose that will come with the submission/obedience.
I would greatly appreciate the advice of experienced practitioners to a novice, If I haven’t repelled all of you with my long-winded writing and mean intent. I know that it is hard to change the will of a person if it is strong, but I know she is already weak against me. I will do what it takes. I am not giving up. I will have her. I also know that many believe lust for results slows magic, and I am aware I am pretty obsessed myself.
Thank you all for any input you can grant me. If you think something is too much to put out there but works, please PM me.