Covering all grounds, he is worth it

I needed to document my journey to getting back someone who is very dear to me
I live in a strict household so i cant write this in a diary ao I’ll leave it here to keep track of it

I started my rituals and evoking on the 15th of june

Im taking a layered approach to this since i cant figure out the reason for our breakup, communication isnt an option since he’s having a hard time battling his own problems and im sure any attempt to talk this through would only result in completely cutting contact on his side and i dont want that

Also keeping track of the offerings i promised since i have a very awful memory

Evoked Duke Sallos on the 15th to sweeten him for me and bring his feelings back
Offerings: Apples , alcohol if i could get it and cigarettes if i couldnt
Asked for 2 months time frame

Evoked Duke Dantalion 2 days later to remove any negative thoughts ot feeling that might ve holding him back from me and also to change his mind about the breakup
Offerings:Roses , Spreading my gratitude and love for him anywhere i could
(During divination i asked if he didnt like the offerings and got a yes , i asked him if he could send me an image or dream of something that he’d prefer but didn’t get any answers yet, still trying to figure it out)
Asked for 2 months timeframe

Marquis Amon a week later to mend our relationship and reconcile (the phone/charging/sigil method)
Didnt give a time frame couldnt find what he might like as an offering and found that he didnt ask many for offering so i offered my sincere gratitude and thanks)

After a while i had a dream of what i assumed (by help from members) is goddess Astarte where i was told she might help me
So i did the powerful love ritual by C.kendall as a way of contacting her
Kept the remains in a box that had our date receipts and tickets and some of our trinkets
Didnt use our pictures since i couldnt get it so used full names and DOBs
Very subtle signs in the ritual (candle flame turning to two conjoined flames forming a heart/ candle wax melting until it reached and connected both papers containing our names made me satisfied)

Contacted King Belial a couple of days ago going in a different direction since i had a sudden realization that even if he still had feelings for me or my previous evokings worked he’d hold back due to his problems
Asked him to help with a big issue facing my ex thats completely up to fate
Wont know results until september or later
Offerings:Homebaked goods, All my respect and gratitude.my blood on his sigil

I feel like at this point ive covered all possible grounds i cant think of anything else that i could do so im trying my best to not lust for results but to not be doubtful at the same time

If anyone has tips and tricks for me id be very grateful afterall im somewhat new and trying my best
Will add any results or signs or new evokings i do here

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Contemplated contacting Rosier for giving him feelings of deep love that he has to act upon but ill give it some time or atleast wait till his problem is cleared , hopefully

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Did a small ritual for Amon last night since i was feeling restless and it was the new moon here

Woke up in an awful mood i feel like everything is dark and nothing it worth it anymore … im not sure why i feel like that all of a sudden but it feels awful
Im scared that it might’ve been all in my head what if no one is hearing me afterall
I know I shouldn’t doubt my magic for it to work but why does it feel like everyone gets what they want except me?
Why do i have to do all of this to begin with? Why couldn’t i be spending my summer doing something else? Worry-free?
I really need something… something big a big sign that just makes me stop questioning it all
I need to feel heard i need some love
Anything at all i cant stop my mind from wandering to dark places anymore honestly

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Going to pm you

Evoked Lord lucifer just to talk for a bit because im still really down , he’s always been there for me since the beginning before i even knew how to evoke or anything about magick yet I’ve never done a proper ritual or lit a candle which im very sorry for

So i finally did it , black candle, very small offering of cinnamon cookie but its the only presentable thing i had , played the enn chant and focused

For the first time i actually experienced what everyone mentioned… i saw the sigil disappear as i focused more and more into it so i was very satisfied with that but i still cant sense a presence or communicate but it’s okay

I asked him for guidance because of how empty i felt, i asked for healing from the depression i feel and i also asked for something small regarding a financial problem affecting my mom ,i hope tomorrow is better

Thank you lord lucifer for always being here with me

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You know, the Tower in your reading can indicate extreme distress, depression, anxiety or trauma. I just thought of this reading your entry. Hail Lucifer! I still remember being dragged down my bed when evoking him, I didnt mean disrespect, just doubted my ability and laid down.

You will endure through the other issues as well. Hit me up if you need.

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Thank you so much

Yes I remember doing two or more tarot readings right before the initial breakup and they always came up with the Tower card which i had a very bad feeling from so I’ve always associated the card with incoming traumatic experiences or depressive episodes

Hopefully things get better from now on

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Ive been seeing slight improvements and thanks to Lord Lucifer I’ve gotten over my breakdown that i had a couple of days

I think in order for magick ro work you have to have complete certainity that it’ll work but still let it go at the same time… as in come to terms that if it doesnt happen it’ll still be okay… and if it doesn’t happen its not due to magick not working but maybe because there’s something better in store… ive always read members saying that but i couldnt get myself to let go… now im finally doing it little by little

Hail Lord Lucifer :heart: thank you for healing me and my broken heart , youve always been great to me

Im torn between pounding on the metal while its hot and summoning dantalion for a little talk and stating my desires or letting everything slowly unfold as its supposed to now

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Forgot to mention i also drew the manifestation seal to protect me from unwanted imposters or parasites juat before summoning King Belial

The Seal of Manifestation

And ive noticed better communication with any spirit i summon ever since… ive been feeling stronger presence (even though im still a noob at that) and ive became way less scared

I also kind of wanna dedicate a day to Lord Lucifer and a day to King Belial just for talking and meditating but im scared of not being able to keep the routine going … i tend to procastinate alot and dont mean any disrespect so ill try to do it every now and then but without setting a specific day

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Summoned Duke Dantalion last night … since i still couldn’t figure out what to change about my offering and he didnt give me any signs i added a drop of my blood to The offerings I’ll give as thanks

Talked for a bit… restated my wishes and offered a cigarette

Im running out of candles for the evocations and i had a hard time finding them in the first place so now i resort to cuttting candles in half before dedicating them to a certain spirit so i dont use the same candle for 2 spirits

Was worried Dantalion might find it offensive or disrespectful since i burned my fingers trying to light it the first time
so i apologized and stated my reasoning… the half candle was pretty small and i was worried it’d run out before i finished so i asked him to keep the flame going if he isnt mad at me for using only half a candle

it stayed on for almost 20 minutea … there was literally no candle left but the flame kept going until i said my thanks and departed then it turned off slowly but itself i was very satisfied by that

Woke up 2 hours after i fell asleep and could feel a strong presence in my room…almost seeing shadows…felt somewhat scared for the first time in a while so half asleep i asked for whatever there was to depart in peace and fell asleep after
For some reason I remember whispering Asmoday before sleeping

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Keep going !! You are doing great

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Thank you! Im feeling some progress honestly and i feel spiritually stronger and more calm

Sometimes i think all of this happened so i can go through a spiritual journey i wouldnt have gone through otherwiae… as i knew of lucifer and King Paimon and would occasionally verbally ask them for protection or help with small issues but i never took a step to evoke or fully reach out to them until this happened

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I was given the opportunity and invited to a gathering which my ex will also attend … there wont be a lot of people so i believe this was given to me as a chance to get things going between us and im very thankful for it

I had the idea to petition an entity thatd influence my ex’s mind to percieve me as very likeable and attractive in order for things to speed up… i didnt know who’d be able to help me with this but a friend suggested i work with an entity I’ve already worked with before and would be better than wotking with a new entity

So i decided to work with the Great duke Dantalion again
I just petitioned him a couple of minutes ago … sadly didnt have anything on hand as an offering but i promised Blueberry tea once i come back from the date and have felt that everything went nicely

Ill also speak with Lord Lucifer tomorrow or the day after concerning that matter since i feel like he’s like a father to me that i like to talk to about everything with and ask for his blessings and help before an important matter

The gathering should be next week … hopefully everything goes well

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Forgot to mention my pet stayed with me in the room during the evocation… i didnt notice she was there at first i normally like to be alone in a closed room but she was very calm even with the candle fire going crazy and she just mesmerizingly stared at it
As soon as i felt a presence i saw her stare and fixate on a random spot in the room for a minute before going and laying there (not really a common spot for her to lay in)

So I’ll take it as an extra sign and be sure that he really was there with me and heard me
Hail Duke Dantalion

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I talked with Lord Lucifer yesterday , i thanked him for the development and asked him for help in that day for everything to go well

But honestly im very nervous… that would be the first time i see him in over 4 months… and i feel like i hate how i look in every way possible despite feeling good about my looks before

Today os also the first day i stop using sugar completely… i heard it has mutiple health benefits but i wonder if thats why i might be in a bad mood… i also saw people in the forum before use the pain they get from sugar restrictions and cravings as an offering… and was wondering who should i offer it to but honestly im unsure of this

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I just came back and honestly i don’t know what to make of anything

Hes very friendly we talked and he bought me a small gift …everything seems fine but i cant tell what his feelings are at all…
I kinda felt like he was bored by the end of it …we stayed quiet for a long time and he seemed out if it
i cant tell if he does the good things he did in a friendly kind of way just to not make things awkward between us or if he might actually have feelings for me still…im feeling very mixed signals and want to keep a postive mindset as much as i can but i couldnt help but cry on the way home

Maybe i expected too much too soon and this is going in a good direction … maybe i just can’t see it now
Would love some faith i feel a bit down but i trust in everything i did and i trust that the results are coming

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I dont know where i went wrong but everything seems to have gone back to how they used to be again

Everything was going so well the past week he even suggested watching movies together and doing stuff together but everything seema to have changed after the meeting to the worse again

I feel like im spiraling down again and this time i don’t know what to even focus my spells and summoning on

Maybe I’ll talk to Lord Lucifer again tonight hopefully it gets better

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You don’t give details on how it is everything changed for the worse again, so without that info maybe I’m wrong here, but I would say this:

You don’t know why it got worse. Maybe he felt attracted towards you again and for some reason he felt that is not a good idea right now? Maybe he’s confused? That doesn’t really mean that none of your spells are working, but to not let the 3D move you. It doesn’t matter what you saw and how is seemingly getting worse now. You have done your workings, your beliefs are aligned towards being together again and you’re just waiting for him to realise he’s crazy about you and can’t be away from you.

Of course, you know better and if this is hurting you, is up to you to decide you don’t want it anymore. But my point is, don’t get discouraged, please :blush:

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Thank you so much for your words

I was actually talking about it to a friend and he said the exact same thing which is a new perspective i havent thought of

Yeah he has a lot of issues going on his life right now that i suppose would discourage him from going in a relationship so you’re right

He also talked to me a bit after i wrote the last update and explained some of his problems that i had no idea about so i think that probably was an answer i needed to hear to know why things are the way they are right now

So ill continue to have faith and wait his problems out … thank you so much i really needed to hear that and it really helped me

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Sounds like you’re doing alot of lusting for results. Doubt can interfere with the workings. Maybe try doing your petitions and then thinking about something else afterwards, or if your mind won’t stop thinking about how the results are going to come try to immediately feel grateful that the result is coming and feel more sure of your self and the spirits you’ve petitioned. A calm patience with a smile is a more effective attitude with Magick than desperation

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