I unintentionally took a break from all my magickal activities, partly because I moved in with my partner and he doesn’t know about this side of me, and I prefer to keep it that way…
Anyway, I haven’t done anything for months. I haven’t connected with the two demons I had been working with (King Paimon and Duke Sallos) nor anything else. I recently started getting back into meditation and magick (LBRP etc.) and it just feels like I’m so far away from them and the guilt is huge as well. I spoke with King Paimon and asked him to look into my heart and feel the genuine regret I felt for abandoning my magickal practice for so long, and expressed my desire to return the path.
I want to be back where I was, feeling the connection with the universe and with these great beings, I think it will take a lot of time though. I just hope they aren’t displeased with me for my neglect.
Anyone else had a similar experience? How did you get back on track?
I had a similar thing. Like you abandon what you know, but in the back of your mind its still there. I would just meditate a lot and get back in the zone. When the doors open up you 'll pick up where you left off and continue with your accent. Feeling guilt might be the first step, but from there you can move forward.
Just dedicate yourself to your accent and you will grow back into it in no time.
I kept my meditations and my alter active, its got a stone a tab of paper, and some other stuff.
Start with breathing and focus. Then work your way into meditation with a dark mirror. I explained this here yesterday.
Welcome back to the practice
I’ve been in a similar position, and unfortunately was just starting off as well, though a large part of the reason for not practicing as much as I have been is actually because I’ve been seeing results. I asked Azazel to help me get my life back on track and reach a position where I was happy and stable. I also did some spells for money and employment after asking his help, and since then, things have fallen perfectly into place…BUT I’m insanely busy all of the time, and I’m usually exhausted by the time I get home. I was also trying to hide that certain aspects of my practice from my boyfriend, whom I now live with, but I’ve actually come out to him about it, and he’s okay with it, as long as I can banish anything negative that comes along, in his words, so I’m ready to start moving forward more and trying to make more time for my practice. I’ve just started to feel less like myself again in the last week, and I feel like I need to get back at it, and that’s why I feel off.
You shouldn’t worry much, we all take/took a break eventually. Duration varies! My break was for 10 years. When I returned, I wished to reach where I was and that, really, dragged me down so I decided to start anew. Where I am today it’s way different from where I was 10 years ago. I lost things but I gained waaay more.
Moral of the story: Return to your practices and don’t stress about it. As for your Demons, they’re really not that kind of beings to hold grudges. That’s what low beings do.