Hi all! I had a dream which I wanted to understand more, why I had it, what it’s meaning is for the current me and I was drawn to doing a tarot spread with some oracle cards too.
In my dream I met with my ex who dumped me 1,5-2 years ago and the situation became very hostile… but in the dream we could talk like back then when we were dating and when we were happy. She hugged me and I kissed her and it felt great - but lately I wanted to move on and find something new (I made a thread about this). I used my Thoth tarot, Dark Mirror oracle, and the Magick of You oracle. The oracle cards were pretty easy to read:
Hiding your True Self (Dark Mirror), Become a loving mirror (Magick of You), How can you feed others when your own table is empty? (Magick of You)
I translated them to this: “You’re hiding your true self from others, because you haven’t come to terms with your painful past - you achieved much since then, and it’s time to look back and be grateful. You have to come to terms with what happened to your former lover and be happy about it. You cannot give yourself to another fully in a new relationship if you can’t stop hiding.”
My tarot reading on the other hand is hard for me to put into one coherent paragraph… The spread is the following:
2 of Cups, 8 of Swords, The Aeon (Judgement), 6 of Wands, Knight of Swords (King of Swords), 5 of Swords
What I did is really, just shuffled the decks and pulled out cards I felt I should draw and stopped with a deck when I felt like I’ve drawn enough. I think the reading order is what I wrote here…
My current interpretation is this:
“In your dream you felt union and happiness, a harmony you haven’t felt for a long time. But reflecting upon this harmony bombards you with all the memories and thoughts you wanted to avoid. Your thoughts and feelings are bouncing all over the place and when you tried making new connections, relationships, you couldn’t devote yourself as fully as you did previously. Because of that, you felt trapped and restricted in that new relationship, but all the negativity was only in your head - you walked away and became unburdened. You cast your light on this darkness, but really, it was your Higher Self who guided you here. Through this you could gain some clarity on both relationships. It is time to review your overall progress so far and be grateful what you achieved both in the mundane and the spiritual sense - it will help you unlock your potential. There will be still some negativity present, but you’ve risen above your darkness - be confident and go forward. Be passionate, and put your thoughts into action. Cultivate more discipline in your life and work on your daily routine, don’t slack off. If you will be honest with both yourself and everyone, you will become stronger - don’t let your emotions take you off the rails, govern yourself with your mind. When emotions try to overcome you, analyze them and then, only then decide your next course of action. After this you will have your victory, which will be tough and sometimes feel a little negative, but you fought for it - you will be whole again.”
Is this kinda correct or would someone interpret these meanings differently?
Those oracle decks are beautiful! Found myself being distracted and drooling over them instead of interpreting your spread lol. Anyway.
No one can answer that for you. Since you are the reader, you should trust in what your intuition told you the moment you flipped over the cards. Other tarot readers here can only provide you an intuitive guess which may help you along but should still be taken with a grain, if not truckloads, of salt as different readers may read entirely different from the way you do. Have a little faith and confidence in your interpretations, with or without external approval.
Furthermore, reading your current interp here, you seem to already grasped what the cards mean for you. Still, here’s my intuitive guess should you ever need another one to ponder on:
My first thought while looking at these was that you can get the answer for your “What does the dream mean?” and “Why did I have that dream?” questions from the oracle cards alone. There was no need to pull six more tarot cards to go along with it. I apologize if this might sound offensive, but this is telling me right off the bat that you may still not have completely moved on from either the ex or your relationship with her, as you seem to be unconsciously seeking out plenty more details (the extra tarot cards) about a dream that was interpreted by the oracle cards already. That, or maybe the need to trust and listen to your intuition more so you can really take in everything the oracle cards are telling you?
One or both of these statements may be the reason why you can’t put the cards “into one coherent paragraph”. I don’t know about you, but even the most patient people do not find it that fun to repeat themselves over and over again. Tarot cards can be that way as well.
I’ll only be interpreting the oracle cards as they seem to hold so much info already about the whats and whys of your dream.
I see the cards here a bit differently: the three oracle cards all show themes of fogginess and murkiness. These are giving off Neptunian/12th house vibes to me, which is not really surprising as dreams and all that usually fall under the 12H realm. However, this can also be interpreted as having dealt with Neptunian/12H themes throughout the relationship: was there anything about your relationship with this ex that involved illusions and deception? Lack of boundaries and/or self-awareness? Rose-colored glasses gone wrong? A sense of still not understanding how and why exactly things happened the way it did and answers eluded you no matter how many times you tried to think logically about it?
Or maybe these Neptunian/12H themes are all you and certain aspects of your life in general. The Firgun card in the middle may mean that the dream involving your ex may simply be a reflection of you: good and bad, and what you need to either emulate or change and learn from for the better. The figure seems to be reaching within his chest for a watery image of a woman’s shadow, and this could pertain to how, in some way, you may still be holding on to emotions she has evoked from you/you have evoked from her. Not judging here because you might be doing it unconsciously (very Neptunian/12H too), but you may also be looking at yourself in relation to her (the hand seemingly checking and searching within his “heart” for the woman’s shadow) or just romantic relationships in general. You may completely define yourself by relationships—who you are and how you act towards such—when honestly, that should simply be another aspect of your life and you are so much more than how romantic partners think or feel for you.
This echoes the Hiding Your True Self card. The vulnerable woman on the right who is holding her robes close = your need for relationships and loneliness/sense of not being so secure without someone beside you, longing for connections with others, maybe even ones in the past. The woman on the left facing us, who is considering loosening her grip on the robe, but still looks indecisive in doing so = your confusion over who you truly are once you finally let go of that robe which has served as your security blanket (whether it be emotions, relationships or tendency to follow the heart much more than the head, as the card still looks watery), stop looking in other directions and start looking directly at yourself (because her gaze being downward and unsure) with the knowledge and acceptance of who you truly are. Yes, just you—without another party or relationship involved. Also, while interpreting this card, I heard this song randomly play in my head:
I honestly think it describes you + my further interps of this card, but take what resonates of course.
The Maximus card is pretty obvious to read, though I do have something to ask about your interp: why must the meaning be automatically read in terms of a “new relationship”? Because to me, the card’s imagery is still pertaining to how you have not completely “come to terms” with either the former lover, the relationship or who you truly are to think in terms of “giving yourself fully to another”. Or at least, not at this point in time anyway (energy’s ever-changing so don’t worry). If you observe the dining table here, there are utensils and plates, sure, but they seem… off. The knife and fork are crossed over each other, not in alignment whatsoever with either a plate or a cup. Instead, a huge candelabra is awkwardly placed on the table, not to mention that this candelabra’s light bulb is surrounded by two moths. The other side, while a plate is in sight, does not have any utensils and the chair looks like it’s going to disappear any time soon. This tells me that while you may know and even have the tools to truly know yourself, dining table covered in elegant red and all, you may still not be utilizing them altogether in a way that works.
For example, this reading itself: you have plenty of beautiful and descriptive decks. You have the intuitive skills to go with it. Yet, you used ALL of these cards to answer only the whats and whys of the dream, when you could have also asked specific questions that can further guide you on this path. You could have used the tarot cards and put them in specific positions such as, “What can/should I learn from this dream?” and “How can I make this lesson applicable to my life?” etc. The two moths also reminds me of that idiom “like a moth to a flame”, which is often used when two people are strongly attracted to each other despite it being dangerous or hurtful in the long run. While this could represent you still being drawn to the ex/relationships or people similar to her, this could also mean that you still feel strongly drawn to romantic relationships in general. Like the moth, you still find your source of light, comfort and warmth in the flame = romance, passion and being with/looking for like-minded people who are also in love with love (the other moth in the card).
Again, apologies if I offended you in any way. If you still want to have the tarot cards interpreted, feel free to let me know but I think the oracle cards already said it all and more.
When asking for help in interpreting tarot for you, you need to mention the question, what vibe each card gave you as well, because those things change up the entire meaning of what each card means to the question.
Absolutely true, I tried to give context without being too personal… I had my Thoth deck for a year, but it’s kind of the first time I ever really used it - I never studied tarot and I’m still just trying to fumble through it.
Thank you for your comment! First I’d just like to say wow… you nailed a lot of things so well that it’s scary ! I know that others can’t answer my own questions, but I’m pretty much a rookie with about 0.1% knowledge in tarot and although I’m meditating a lot and doing rituals I still don’t fully trust my intuition… when I woke up, those were the only questions, because I felt that the dream ment something, but didn’t think of it as a lesson - when I asked my Higher Self, he just said “Do a tarot reading” and then I pulled the cards as I sensed them.
I would really like to thank you for your thoughts, because you gave me a lot to think about! I’m still familiarizing myself with the meanings, most of the time I look up the meanings, make a list of the words and phrases that I feel are relevant for each card and then try to work through them to put them together… I felt it too, that the Oracle cards hold the main meaning and although I thought I grasped their meaning, because they seem quite straightforward, your interpretations really opened up some stuff I didn’t feel. Don’t worry, you haven’t offended me, quite to opposite, I’m really amazed…
Lately I felt like that I finally was able to move on, and for months I haven’t dreamt about her and this dream was just like a sudden flash of lightning out of nowhere. My story here was that I really couldn’t let the relationship go and while I was working on myself I asked some spirits for someone who’s really similar to my ex and they gave me just that - the similarities and syncronicities were crazy! But after a few months I felt like something was off and I thought long and hard about breaking up with this new girl - it’s just the worst feeling when there’s nothing really wrong with them or the relationship and you have fun when you’re together, but there’s this unshakable feeling in the back of your mind that you shouldn’t be in that relationship and you can’t fully open up to them to make a real connection…
I spent my last year either learning more about magick, agonizing on the loss of that relationship which the spread is about (not the other one after it I asked for), and a lot of soul searching, trying to dig down as deep as I can go and figure myself out. I managed to know how and why I connect to others like I do, why my love language is the way it is, why I am (was?) hypersexual and other things like this. In another thread I made I gave out some other details:
For a long time I wasn’t really a grown up - rather than a big teen. The part where you talked about illusion and deception, lack of boundaries and self-awareness really speaks to me… I think we both were in some kind of an illusion; although we could pretty much talk out our every difference we never really seen each other’s other sides. We were always together for 1,5 years after she moved in with me and it was only by the end that she started to put up boundaries and I didn’t like that… it was a really defining relationship of my life, a new lens on how close people can be, when both you and them are blurred into one… it kinda defined what I want from a relationship. I still can’t let go of the want that I want to experience something very similar to this, but not that way like when I asked for it and it was empty. I’m kinda switching between the “I am an individual, I shouldn’t need a relationship to feel better”, but at the same time I want that deep connection where you’re both so intertwined with each other’s life that there’s no differentiation between the both of you.
During last year, when I did the psychoanalysis on myself I noticed exactly that - when I think about memories, eras, it’s usually the relationships I tend to look at first and how I felt during them. It’s kinda exhausting to be wanting to be an individual, but at the same time you don’t want to be one, because you want to lose yourself in the passion of a romantic relationship… I know I am secure without one and there are more aspects to life, but there’s that loneliness and also my sexuality which both drive me crazy sometimes…
It’s true that I still haven’t fully come to term with the past relationship, I think that’s exactly the reason why I had this dream after such a long time… and I still don’t know much about myself so I need to work more. I really like the “like moths to the flame” phrase there, I felt that too, but didn’t associate it with anything. I know I have all the tools that I need, all the rituals, spells, knowledge, skills to work through this - I really have to utilize them better. My only defense for your last before the last paragraph is that I was driven to pull more cards and I still don’t fully trust my intuition… Those questions sadly didn’t occur to me and I’m really thankful that you opened my eyes to them. You were really spot on with both me being drawn to my ex and people who are similar to her.
The funny thing is that I knew before I analysed myself or came to the occult that I was in love with love, but I always thought to myself that “how can other people be in a relationship when they aren’t as close to each other as flesh and bone? it’s empty that way”…
Thank you again and if it’s not much to ask I’d like to ask you to interpret the Tarot cards too - it’s not a bad thing to know more or maybe I’ll get to another new perspective I haven’t considered.
About the Oracle cards though - I was hunting high and low for something that’s not full of angels, fairies, tumblr-y things or corny imagery you’d find on a pulp romance novel’s cover… these 2 really resonated with me, I’m happy that I spent the money on them! I’m still thinking of getting more, but I only found like 2-3 which fit my aesthetic sense… and with dark, but not full of naked, sexualized women imagery they’re mostly focused on shadow work, which is why I bought the Dark Mirror deck (the card on the left is from that deck) and I don’t really need more of that. But I still feel drawn to decks like the Angelarium or Mausolea In the end I may become like those people on YouTube who show off their deck collection… The Supra Oracle and the Knowing Oracle decks look amazing too!
First off, I commend you for the self-awareness, OP! Apologies for the delayed reply because I’ve been taking a break from doing anything magickal lately, been catching up on rest and all that. I’m glad it resonated and it didn’t offend you because I’ve been reading your experiences ever since you linked it here. I understand you’ve been through a lot. Therefore, the last thing I’d want to do as someone who’s simply throwing in a suggestion or two is to make you feel criticized, hurt or burdened than you already are. Also, I’ve had my fair share of querents who disliked being “called out” and told straight to their faces that what they’re doing is not working out so well for them ATM so…
Reminds me of that mainstream quote about the definition of insanity lol. But I’m quite surprised myself with how even the song I linked does describe how you are/feeling currently, basing it from both this and the other thread you’ve created. Are you, by any chance a Pisces or have that sign/Neptune prominent in your natal chart? Or maybe you have personal planets in your 12th house?
Defense accepted. Am the last person to judge because I used to do that when I was brand new to Tarot: pulling cards repetitively on the situation because you want the cards to agree with how you want things to be, along with disregarding my intuition and trying to see if there’s a tiny bit of hope so you can justify going back and saving the relationship. Again. Takes one to know one. XD
Sure thing. But do you want me to do it here still or simply send it to you via PM so you’d have a sense of privacy with whatever details I read from the cards regarding your situation? Also, I may be able to do this tonight or tomorrow morning.
As someone who own various angle oracle decks and is a sucker for Tumblr-y themed decks, oof hahaha. clutches chest Kidding aside, thank you for providing the names of the oracle decks you used. Got my eye on them TBH. And hey, nothing wrong with being one of those people who show off their decks on YT. I watch them every now and then, drooling and dreaming of certain decks that are not available to be bought/shipped where I live lol. Also, will probably end up as one of your subscribers with your taste in oracle decks. XD
Thanks! I’m open to other perspectives and I’m always eager to learn more - if others can shine light on ways I haven’t considered then I’ll have some good stuff to ponder on!
Yeah, I had my fair share with insanity, but I always view it as a state/place/mindset from which you can come back from (well, not always or it can be hard to come back from sometimes)… I never really bothered to learn about them, I only knew that my sign was Capricorn, but I stopped reading horoscopes since they all tell me that I’m hard working and logical, where I’m mostly emotional and lazy af… I checked it with an online tool and it said that I have Pisces in my 12th house (what are houses btw and what’s their importance?). I’m thinking of having these professionally mapped or something after this current financial crazyness dies down…
Hm, I think personal message would be nice, I’m grateful, really!
Haha, sorry didn’t mean to bash on them I’m really drawn to certain aesthetics like minimalism and dark things, also secession art - I studied art a few years back and the teachers’ judgyness rubbed off on me a bit… About the drooling… SAME I tried to find as many as I could on places like Aliexpress and Ebay, I don’t really mind if they’re counterfeit. Currently I’m waiting for 3 decks to be shipped, because I ‘accidentally’ clicked on the ‘Buy Now’ button…
The funniest thing happened - yesterday I channeled who my Guardian Angel is and he encouraged me to work with all my Guides. I proclaimed that I want them to guide me. Before that I was browsing this forum and bookmarked some resources I want to read and tonight I was drawn to one which is a PUA book (I don’t like the whole PUA thing in general), but this one is different - a collection of forum posts by one user.
I started reading and in one of the “lessons” there was this:
“The difference is simple,” said the Pook. “The first young man is facing TOWARDS infancy. The second young man is facing AWAY from infancy. The first one wishes to climb back into the womb; the second one wants to fly from it. The first wishes a cushioned place in the world while the second one leaves the cushions behind.
You asked me stuff that steered me in the right direction, but if I look back on everything, I was recreating that motherly safety in every one of my relationships and then just stayed in that one place until the other party got fed up (with the staleness).
This was like a wall crashing down in pieces… and I have to say that REAL shadow-work is painful af… so I really have to face the question: “Who was I before I started defining myself by my relationships?”
Edit: After all this I also asked my guides what parts of my shadow should I work on and got this spread:
2 of Cups: affinity, relationship, harmony. This card has the potential to become the fully expressed VI The Lovers. I interpret this as your inner desire.
8 of Swords: restriction, incapacitated, entrapment. I believe this is referring to a past relationship.
The Aeon (Judgement): accountability, rebirth, absolution. This is why you had this dream. It wasn’t a clean ending. You may have also been at fault partially for why your previous relationship ended and you want to draw the energy of this card – to be accountable and to not cling onto old, detrimental behavior, into your life.
6 of Wands: victory, recognition, pride. I’m assuming this is your current mindset and you’ve achieved some success lately.
Knight of Swords (King of Swords): (being read as King of Swords): leader, logical, impartial. Either this is a coming love interest or qualities you need to bring out within yourself.
5 of Swords: self-interest, defeat, dishonorable. This position is either advice on what to work on the become accountable or the future. Your intuition will let you know.