I’ve had horrible things happen to me since working with the spirits of the Goetia like being harassed into psychosis and almost driven to suicide for some fucked up reason. However, since most demonolaters I talk to about this seem to insist that I was actually working with parasites I’ve started to reconsider if it was actually them.
When I first called upon Asmoday because I thought he was reaching out to me, I felt his energy come through very strongly and I knew I had connected with a higher power. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before and it confirmed to me that spirits exist. I also felt his energy while doing sex magick with him, and I even saw his torso manifest a little bit.
I’ve also felt Paimon, Belial, and Azazel’s energy. So can a lesser spirit mimic the energy of a deity or not? I think I really was working with them, and even if it was a parasite that caused my psychotic breakdown and not them, I have a right to be angry with them because I called out for Azazel’s help numerous times and nothing happened. They completely abandoned me if that’s the case.
Well I can’t ask them anymore because I’m on antipsychotics and my psychic senses are closed. Whenever I try to talk to them through the pendulum, they seem to lie to me about the oddest things so that’s not an option either. I think it was because my intrusive thoughts offended them, but a lot of practitioners claim that they don’t care about this so it could be anybody’s guess.
Yes I gave them plenty of offerings when I was working with them. I didn’t have enough space for an altar for all of them at the time, but they said that was fine and I could work on it with time.
Honestly I don’t know what kind of lesson there is to glean from having to be medicated for the rest of my life. Never before did I show symptoms of shizoaffective disorder until I started working with demons. I don’t think everything has to be a “lesson” with spirits. Sometimes they are just like that.
Yeah that’s nice but I’m not really keen on working with them again, because they’ve proven that if they can’t help protect me from parasitic entities then I have no business working with them. That goes double if they were the spirits who harassed me into psychosis through my clairaudience, which I have some reason to believe that they were, because like I said I believe my intrusive thoughts offended them. Either way I just wanted to make sure that I was working with their real energies, since so many people suggested that I wasn’t.
@virago I guess you won’t really know. I would keep working with them anyway and see if they bring closure in time instead of outright drawing the initial conclusion. What they value above all is loyalty. I asked them last night about what was going on with that and they suggested a divided loyalty on your part. That’s the impression I was left with anyway.
I tried to still work with Asmoday for awhile, but he (or an entity posing as him) gave me nightmares over something silly. That’s another problem I keep having with them too. I gave Asmoday offerings so he would help block the nightmares they were giving me, but over a year later I still have them. The entities in them claim to be demons, one of them even claimed to be Bael.
If my loyalty is divided it’s because I spent months being psychologically and sexually tortured by spirits claiming to be them, with no help from anybody. I mean I’ve had a spirit claiming to be King Paimon threaten to kill my family over some intrusive thought that I had the day before. Real fucked up stuff that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. If all of this is what working with them is going to entail then I don’t want any part of it.
I’m not the best at reading tarot, but I guess I can try Lenormand since it is more straightforward. If all else fails I’ll try to make my own Ouija board.
Absolutely. This happened to me when a fae mimicked Samael in order to have a conversation with me.
In this case it wasn’t malicious, but the entity would not have been able to follow through on the work Samael and I were doing, ot just didn’t have that skill or experience.
I will try to keep inquiring for you. You COULD try to appeal to one of the 72 angels of the Shem Ha Mephiresh to try and reconcile your relationship with Lucifer. That did work for me personally. Raziel’s Pathways is the book and the methodology is simple and fairly profound. Find an angel that reconciles relationships.
For things like this, going to other entities isn’t my way. I will pull out the burn it with fire before it lays eggs approach and remove it from my transit personally.
I find doing it personally and viciously sends a message as it were. Other parasites see this, and it warns them off you.
I also have multilayered wards, but being the nastiest thing in my local astral works for me. There’s nothing to be afraid of when you’re the monster.
lol well I am only human. Humans are a “warrior species” galactically speaking, very strong and extremely good at this, all we have to do is tap into our nature. At this level there’s no need to be a victim.
That’s disheartening to hear. One time while doing shadow work with “King Paimon” he said he didn’t know what to do about something, so now I’m really reconsidering if it was them all along. However, when working with Azazel he did follow through and give me a banishing ritual as an alternative to the LBRP, so there is at least some reason to believe I was in contact with them.
I’ll think about it. Again I’m not really interested in continuing a relationship with any of them, but if there’s really nothing else I can do it’s something I’ll have to consider. Thank you.
I’m just saying I wouldn’t jump to any conclusion until the situation is made clear by their own mouth. It’s not like this sort of thing doesn’t happen in other religions or worldviews. Just caution is all.
Yes. I keep getting the fox in my lenormand readings when I ask if it was really Asmoday when I first called on him, if it was King Paimon who threatened my family, if I connected with any of them at all etc. I’ve got it like three times in a row already. Not a good omen.
I’m going to feel really stupid if it wasn’t them at all. Reaching out to the spirits of the Goetia was my first time attempting spirit work, and I had the impression that as long as I felt the presence of a higher power then everything should be okay. It never occurred to me that a lesser spirit could mimic their energy.
A lot of things just don’t add up though. Like why would they attempt sex magic with me, help me with shadow work, give me a banishing ritual, help me with scrying etc. if they were parasites with purely malicious intentions? Much to think about.
@Virago None of that makes you stupid. Pinheaded minion darklings have always impersonated gods. Maybe you simply weren’t given a strong basis. If you were tricked, it’s not your fault. Blame the trickster- the fox.
I think if you try again with this book it will give clarity. You can find it on kindle. It calls on the angels who rule the goetic spirits. My personal understanding is that the ruling angel is the angelic aspect of each demon. Point being this can grant a greater clarity and refinement.
Humans are a “warrior species” galactically speaking, very strong and extremely good at this, all we have to do is tap into our nature. At this level there’s no need to be a victim.