S Connolly offers free books on her website
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Quitting came to mind. We’ll see I guess, we’ll see if I have to resort to other plans to get free.
Fuego, there is also a sub reddit demonolatrypractices where you can get advice and resources.
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I second this
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Astaroth
She fucks with time.
She can make you a slave.
The wicked witch of the west goes east and becomes a goddess.
Anyway, sounds like your shadow self kicking your ass. Also the Grimorium Verum Astaroth Sigil is way fucking overpowered.
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Fuego, you must understand that you asked this on this forum. Most answers will skew. Most don’t have actual experience in this area.
In videos gone by YouTube, even EA said there is a path using service to get to where the rest (lhp) would go. It’s conveniently forgotten on these forums and I had to be reminded, which is why I remembered.
There is no LHP. It requires a RHP to validate itself. Its a cute dichotomy that doesn’t serve anyone.
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Fuck me sideways dude, seriously? YOU are God, we are each our own God. God (NOT Yahweh, El, Shiva, Odin, or whoever else, but the true source and essence of creation) exists in every conscious being, including humans, including you.
I am sorry to hear about your pain and distress and the bad cards that life has dealt you, but you seem to be willfully ignoring mountains upon mountains of helpful advice from people on this forum.
YOU ARE GOD. Every time you curse your “bad luck” and tell yourself “Magick doesn’t work” you are reinforcing this negative worldview. At this point I literally think you should throw out and burn every single book you own on magickal practice (barring DoM, but at least put it literally on the back shelf for now), READ NEVILLE GODDARD, and start exploring YOUR OWN power as a creator.
Fuego, my friend, I really wish you the best, I can’t imagine what you are going through mentally, but it is PAINFUL to watch you repeatedly ask questions and ignore the multitudes of people who come in with a helpful answer, only for you to come back 24 hours later with the exact same defeatist mindset. You don’t even give yourself enough room to breathe and reflect on others’ input; how can you expect magick to work for you when you constantly doubt yourself?
Everyone here wants to see you succeed, we all live for success stories, and I guarantee you that you can turn your life around, you just need to… Well, in the words of Goddard, be still, and know that I AM God.
Seriously, everyone here is rooting for you, you CAN succeed. But you won’t if you keep doing the same thing over and over again.
All the best and seriously please do not hesitate to seek help and counselling in the mundane world if you need someone to talk to. I cannot stress this enough. Stay safe and be well 
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Maybe a better question to ask yourself is “what is your right hand path?”
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If I don’t believe that paths have value, why would I bother?
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Thats why I havent quit. Sure, due to me being me I will start something and abandon it, but I don’t quit. In fact, did a healing ritual. I would love to see vireo rates plummet downward because of it, but will be pleased with myself and relatives, and others be well.
I would really like to expand the ritual and make it completely solid for anyone to use and have a result immediately. This will take time and work.
Yep, I am magic, I am a human, and I am also a god. My magic works, because I will the ill to become well.
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I always like a former members take on this, which is that RHP is self defeating. The reason is similar to why people run foul of the Law of Attraction:
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For sure I had issues with the Hindu pantheon because we’re brought up into thinking that they’re our masters basically but the pantheon is quite cool
I think he said that Nyx embodies the true dark energy compared to the demons and other spirits who are a bit more chaotic with their darkness. I’m not too sure either
Why not try Ginunigagap (butchered the name), Kaos herself or the most high??
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One of the most primordial / acosmic expression of the source is the primordial void who is beyond any name and human depiction. This primal void is well exposed into The Deplorable Word from Erica Frevel and she gives instructions on how to be contaminated/parasited though her empowered art print ( you can empower it yourself)and finally shifted into something else, a void being who act as a channel of this current into the world. Here the practicer surrender completely and sacrifice themselves in order to become no-man or the Unborn being, there is ordeal of the Abyss as we can find in the Qliphoth. It’s a dangerous current perhaps one of the most predatory path. There is also the Black Path from Tariqa Azzedini and Devil Quran, here the void itself manifest into Shaitan and through a dark sufi practice who allow the practicer to be fully possessed by Shaitan in his most dangerous manifestation( the first predator). This practice can be disturbing and can lead to chaos insanity. The void practice is also given with a norse flavour into the ginnrunbok who is a good expostion on a void gnosis and sorcery link to the norse primal currents and beings ( not a thursian path). This is the same with the cult of the Black Cube with some veiled to remove to go beyond the mere Shani worship( the saturnian void expression) or the grimoire of Tiamat in which the practicer enter into Tiamat primordial void goddess to be reborn into children of Her for those who know what I mean… In the Abyss you are purged of every poison of personality,
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I don’t think Fuego is ready for that. Contact with that current using the wrong method could strip his sanity.
Chaos, the void, and the acausal/primordial/chaos currents aren’t exactly beginner currents.
Not that I actual know, I don’t really because I’m avoiding it cuz I’m not ready for it myself. There’ll be plenty of time for me to risk my sanity in the future and or future lives. Though given my aversion, I probably messed with it in a past life only to regret it.
I hope @Nightside will wait until he’s got more experience before messing with those currents (or that current).
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Nah,
Im laying low and hibernating as much as possible due to upcoming Michigan winter/spring.
So only doing:
Meditations,
QC/LRP/QC,
Adorations,
Low Magic, Candle Magic, and Witchcraft,
Master basic energy work, chakras,
Yoga, exercise,
psychic training through crystals and herbs.
I am basically just tying to master basic fundamentals of magic, low and high, and all prepatory immersion, spirit communication.
Angels and Demons, I appreciate and respect them, and believe and know they exist.
So no, no demonolatry, qlippoth etc atm. Not until I have a bit more self and mind control.
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I think Wisdom is the request you seek right now. Calm, collective wisdom.
Go ask Angelic for that and guidance on a successful path
Have you tried gallery of magic stuff? Thats been instant for me
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I don’t think I will add much as a lot has been said already.
I’ve seen numerous amounts of your posts on this forum and you seem to go through this cyclical period as I’ve seen similar posts from you before as to the one in your original post. You then come back ready to give magic another try before losing hope again. This is not a criticism as it happens to most of us. However I think the important thing to remember is to break the cycle. I appreciate that it’s easier said than done.
Perhaps take a break from magic. Get yourself in the right headspace.
Also your comment about India it’s inappropriate to malign an entire race just because a few people of that race may have wronged you. You never know how many Indians on this forum may want to help you.
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True, I don’t consider all Indians bad, as I don’t know most of them, and while the majority of folks from India, some I do appreciate. I’m sorry, I’m just as angry as the us businessmen behind it. Then again, everyone needs to live well.
Taking a break from magic but not the forum, at least high magic. I still believe some of it t to be harmless. Besides, I just found favor, a quartz stone, and a conch shell. I cannot ignore these.