[Æons Shadowlog]

So I figured I’d start logging in here episodes of my periodic sleep paralysis and my own personal experiences with shadow people.
Might even throw some of my art they’ve inspired in me eventually. Although im not sure I’m brave enough to show you guys too much of my crazy yet :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:

Feel free to comment, or spark discussion on any of my entries if you whish. I don’t mind. Just please keep it respectful as it’s a little personal for me and took alot of support from friends before I considered actually sharing this sh** lolz.

5 Likes

Alright so here goes. I guess it all started when I was very young. About 6 or 7 years old I would begin waking up with a painful chest and feeling I was unable to breathe.
Once I shared it with my mother I was taken to the doctor and diagnosed with asthma and insomnia. But I was to nervous to share the fact that I was seeing things at the same time i was experiencing these episodes.
First I would feel a tingling sensation in the base of my skull and the back of my neck that shoots up to the crown of my head. Then it’s followed by an intense vibration all over my body like pins and needles and a strong sense of fear or a presence.

Sometimes my ears would pop when an episode starts although this doesn’t happen very often :thinking: not sure if it’s a marker for another underlying condition or what. Just sharing.

Anyways, once I felt a presence I would wake up a panic but I would feel heavy, like a lead blanket was draped all across my body. Unable to move anything but my eyes I would always notice a tall gangly outline of a figure. No features no face just a dark shadowy faceless mass at the foot of my bed.

I would literally try my hardest to scream… but it would seem even though every fiber in my body was trying to fight the paralysis I was still powerless. Not even the slightest sound could ever announce from my vocal cords. (Like seriously, if one of these things decided it was a perv, ida been in a world of hurt accidentally falling asleep with my mouth open lol jk I have a perverted mind)
But anyways…
After observing me for a bit the figure would either

disappear,

Walk to the side of my bed and bear over me

Pet me (with long pointy sharp fingers that literally made me wet the bed)

Or just pace back and forth very disturbingly untill it got bored and walked out of my room. (Sometimes using the nearest wall instead of the door)

5 Likes

Pretty interested about it, since I have the same kind of issues. Though, I am able to get out of the paralysis state sometimes.

How often do you get them ? And could you tell when or why you are getting them the most ?

2 Likes

First off,
thank you so much for asking!!!
:black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:
Im really happy to network with people like us!!! (I Know, I know “I NEED TO USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION”) but anyways. lolz

I typically only get it now when I’m sleep deprived, day napping, drinking alot of caffeine or soda, just witnessed a death or am traveling alot.

I’ve gone through phases when it was easy for me to get out of it but it’s inconsistent. Same thing for controlling my perceived shadowy people and not allowing them to manifest but it’s not easy for me.

1 Like

When I was a child I would get it probably atleast weekly from about 5 years old to about 9 or 10. Then it completely stopped with the onset of puberty for a sec until around a few years later.

I started getting episodes again every blue moon but nowhere near as much as my prepubescent years

1 Like

I think I only had one or two when I was young, but since maybe a year I get them way more often. It’s not all the time shadow people, the last one I got yes, he even talked to me lol. I get a bit of everything, shadow people, dead spirits and other entities…

I’ll usually get out of it by moving a finger, or scream, and it will either wake me up fully, or it will make me come out of my body. Compared to you I will only have them when I’m not tired, but I’ve seen that I’m getting them the most when I take a nap during the day, and I’ll be in that state when I’m half awake/half asleep.

2 Likes

Interesting you say its not all shadow people. It wasn’t until about 2016 that I finally had my first definite not shadow person experience. Ive got about 20 entries saved in my computer ill be uploading over the course of the next few days.
I am very curious and have to ask… Have you ever practiced using sleep paralysis for invocation or evocation? quite the experience!!! Especially for communicating with a Deity or the Gatekeepers.

2 Likes

That’s something I’m trying to do yes, but I am still not controlling it fully so yeah. I think I’ve tried calling on Belial once in that state, but I can’t remember what happened next. I mostly call on one of my guides.
And actually, I met my main guide in one of the first sleep paralysis I got, or at least the first one which was pretty violent (and sexual :grimacing:). He helped me out by kicking out whatever spirit was around, gave me his name and told me to call when I need it. So yeah, sometimes I call him when things get too scary for me.

3 Likes

I cant believe you said Belial!!! omg literally once I started my path working with the gatekeepers I was attacked by something and was like, “wait a minute, I know some one who’s bigger and badder than this” and started thinking “Belial, Belial, Belial” in my head over and over.
literally Belial appeared like some sort of fire like demonic mix of a balrog and one of those fish monsters from the film “underwater”. lots of fire and teeth. The shadow literally screeched in fear as he devoured it. Yet my fear was soon replaced by fear of Belial lol.

I guess the First experience that was a little more extra than a shadow person was around the time I was 8. We had just moved to a new house and it was a nice change from living on a native american burial ground. I thought mabye the episodes would go away until one morning there I was again, Frozen and unable to move Whilst sleeping on my side.
Luckily I heard my door crack open as my Grandmother walked in to wake me up for school. Except as I peered down the room towards my door, the female figure standing in my doorway was NOT my grandma. It was dark, faceless and well built yet still feminine with long hair, a skinny waist, wide hips and large breasts. (Hair was literally like Angelina Jolies in that poor animated Beowulf movie).
At the time it was the first thing with any defining features besides the typical shadow people I had so grown accustomed to.
I closed my eyes and was just trying to imagine it wasn’t there and IT WORKED!!! But the thing that left me uneasy was my door still standing wide open. I was never able to close it either being paralyzed as normal. -_-

Now heres where it gets weird…
She started coming back with a friend that had a similar dark aura but was also female and repeatedly opened my door just to watch me sleep. Even when other shadows were present she would show up and they would scatter in a frantic hurry as if terrified of her and what i’ve come to believe is liker her sister. I was kinda happy about having my own personal guardians but it came with a price. They would take turns sitting by me on my bed, leaning over me and siphoning some kind of energy from my head. Sort of like the dementors in harry potter.
I would feel the bed sink in when they would sit down and it would freak me the f*** out. Then theyd lean in reeeeeeeeally close like they were going to kiss me (to close for comfort) and it was like if I opened my eyes I was probably going to die of fright. This was long past hair standing up on the back of your neck and feeling something was wrong. I was legitimately scared and my heart was pounding as the air pressure would shift and I could feel how close her face was to mine. Then she would make a sort of heavy breathing or inhaling sound and I would feel VERY dizzy. To dizzy to even comprehend what was happening anymore and my world would spin me back to sleep.

Thats literally most of what I can remember from my Childhood. Then The episodes decided to take a break. once I was like 16 I had a couple more but no shadow people. Then I joined the Marine corps. After a few years of service I think it was the Suicide of my cousin coupled with the Marines sleep cycle changing consistantly that brought the episodes back. Watching someone die and trying to resuscitate him in a pool of blood really attracted the shadows like sugar to ants. I lost 5 people to suicide that year back to back.
To make matters worse I was almost killed in a hate crime for taking my boyfriend to the Marine corps ball and I started waking up paralyzed full force every night. The tingling pressure at the base of my skull, the crushing sensation in my chest, the ringing in my ears and pins and needles, the presence of shadow figures, and the inability to move while wanting to scream to no avail. It all came back.

Needless to say my Family was like “pray it away” but as a homosexual pagan child put in a christian school, I had more faith in magic then god. As an adult I turned my attention to taking my witchcraft more seriously. I had never been properly initiated so I began researching on self initiation and made a pact with the Greek Hecate. I had a little more of a familiar feeling towards greek deities even though Im an Irish, Saxon, Scandinavian mut. I dont know why, but I always say go with your gut since it transcends limits.

4 Likes

Well, he is what you would call a Patron for me. Our communication isn’t the best, but he has been with me since the start so, yep yep :stuck_out_tongue: And that’s funny, because I’ve never really “seen” him, he always appeared to me as a red smoke in my dreams, and the only time he had a body, I couldn’t see his face.

Your experiences are all really scary :slightly_frowning_face: Did you ever had any which were “good” ?

2 Likes

Now that catch up is all out of the way, the first dated entry I made was the
21st of Feb 2016.

I had just self initiated with Hecate in my living room with a few candles and some oil. I found a figure of her at a local shop and it REALLY gave me a vibe every time I passed it so I didn’t ignore it. I purchased it for an altar and will never part with it.

However that night it wasn’t Hecate that approached me. There was a sound of boots marching outside my bedroom door in the hallway. Then a Stalky tall figure wearing a trench coat and a top hat walked into my room. It was holding a staff and I could hear every tap on the tile floor. He (because im assuming it was male from the deep raspy breathing) just stood at the foot of my bed breathing very loudly over and over again like he was waiting for me to address him or respond. Then he clashed his staff to the floor making a loud metal like sound and disappeared.

3 Likes

As a matter of fact Ive had a few good experiences. It started when I began looking into lucid dreaming and applying it to sleep paralysis.
I started using music as a way to sort of “change the vibe” during an episode and it makes me very much in control of the situation. I just think of a very motivating or powerful song with meaning to me. Then I begin imagining it empowering me.

Met one of my guides this way as well :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:

2 Likes

May 14th 2016

I wasn’t quite sure if the ritual of initiation i did with Hecate in the living room was heard or working or if it was even real so I decided to just sit and pray or think to Hecate before going to bed that I was very serious and would appreciate a sign of some sorts. AAAAAnd believe me when I say I got one.
I awoke in the usual manner. pins and needles, fear and paralyzed. However there was this BOOOMING presence stronger than anything I had experienced in sleep paralysis to date. A tall, pointy, rock shaped silhouette manifested at the foot of my bed to the sound of a thousand deathly moans. It was like I could hear the gates of hell opening and the souls of the dammed shouting and twisting. Then it kind of fluttered and I thought, “omg just my luck… a f***ing ring wraith from lord of the rings or some shiiiiit???”
But wait… it had cleavage?!? then lifted its face to show a pale, young, female face keeping her eyes covered by the shade of a hood. And there was this lowwwww humming sound like an electric generator the size of NYC was vibrating my room. I thought in my head, “Is this you? Are you Hecate?” and after a pause she gave a slight nod of affirmation. I asked in my head If she required anything from me and she didn’t respond… she literally just stood there very seriously with her energy humming and vibrating the whole room. Again I thought in my head, “Do I need to do anything??? is there anything you have for me or need…???” She immediately vanished and reappeared on the side of my bed but the side that my boyfriend was sleeping on. Then shifted her gaze from me immediately down to him as if she was annoyed, angry, or expecting me to be get rid of him!!! Then dissappeared. She didn’t say anything, but the vibe I got was that she wasn’t pleased with the fact that I had let him into my life.
Shortly after my current relationship started showing its true colors. My boyfriend remained jobless, began racking up debt barrowing money from everyone and cheating people out of deals. After creating an army of enemies I had to disassociate from his friends because they would all come to me with his problems. I was left to provide for both of us by myself as he became addicted to drugs and alcohol. This made him mentally and physically abusive slowly chipping away at my self value, self esteem and ability to validate myself through my own mind. He made me feel unworthy, worthless, yet he would play the victim of life or circumstances with no ability to provide for himself. Mind you I was 22 years old at the time and he was 40.
Hecate literally remained silent and invisible throughout this time period like she had vanished without a trace. No interaction, no appearance, no attempts to communicate. Then I pleaded with her to give me some sort of sign or direction (annoyingly to im sure as she had already given me all the instruction I needed). But boy did she give me what I wanted. I fell into another sleep paralysis spell almost immediately after falling asleep and she appeared much in the same manner. Booming vibration, hooded, and hearing cries and moans as she manifested at the foot of my bed.
Being unable to speak as usual in sleep paralysis, (and probably too scared to do so anyways from her presence even if I wasn’t) I started trying to initiate my question again telepathically:

     "Im stuck, Im lost. I think I know you want me to get out of my current relationship predicament..... but Hecate, what if I need it????" I thought to her, "To feel a sense of belonging, to have someone there even if its not healthy for me, why don't I have the balls to do something???? I need to know for sure Hecate, Is this what I need to do for you? To better myself?? Is this what I NEED???!!!!"

Immediately and almost in response to my thoughts she began morphing into something. She was growling and snarling and her eyes turned a luminescent red. Her teeth began Growing and her face elongated into a snout. Once she was done she was no longer a light skinned maiden in a dark hooded robe… But a Large, black and angry hell hound, nashing its teeth and roaring at me while I lay helpless in bed. I literally began announcing in my head, “IM SORRY, IM SORRY, IM SORRY, I GET IT, ILL DO IT, ILL GET RID OF HIM AND DO IT FOR MYSELF TOO, I CANT BELIEVE I DIDN’T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY, DON’T EAT ME, DON’T EAT ME, DON’T EAT ME!!!”

and she vanished.

In the following days I packed up and ran away out of state cutting all ties to him as he angrily and begrudgingly did everything in his power to find me. I knew he would. But I blocked all his lines of communication. and when he would create another number or profile I would block it too. His responses went from false love attestations to anger, back to love and apologies, and then again back to anger and threats. But I was not going to let him find me or touch me again and I never responded.

Once I settled down out of state my first dream was of Hecate embracing and holding me as I laid in bed crying my eyes out. Emotions flooded me with sweet relief and a mix of sorrow, confusion, self hatred and self appreciation.

2 Likes

This Is now on my Altar for Hecate as I find It to be closest to the vibes I got from my experience. I hope people who associate with her find it useful as well. She will always be a part of my life now.

3 Likes

Alright, on to the next entry lol

After the first Hecate experience, but before I got the balls to leave my abusive boyfriend at the time, I began dabbling in different vibes of witchcraft including joining a wiccan coven (much to the annoyance of that abusive boyfriend).
Sad to say though the wiccan path was a little too… hmmm fluffy bunny I guess for me. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed having a safe space away from my current predicament at the time, and they were very supportive. But it felt more like just another organized religion. Not to mention it was very heteronormative. Me being a gay male found it not very inclusive especially regarding the certain obvious rites, ceremonies and it left me longing for a different set of mysteries.
Those that I knew in the Asatru realm were very much on the toxic masculinity side at the time and my abusive boyfriend claimed to be from a druidic order that mainly consisted of his friends and family, (they were not like any “REAL” druidic order, but consisted mostly of self absorbed larpers giving me a huge misrepresentation of druidism at the time. I however had no way of knowing and simply turned away from anything related to druidism until much later when I discovered a much larger pagan community and proper representation of their system). Then I found EA Koettings channel on youtube.
Around this time I came across the Video “why “god hates you”” on the “become a living god” channel, and it spoke to me. Like REALLY spoke to me. I mean I typically frowned upon anything related to luciferianism, or satanism. Mostly from knowing plenty of “Reverse Christians” at the time who just replaced god with satan. However I had recently exchanged harsh words with Jehova witnesses at my door so I was a little more than curious I guess lol. So I began delving a little deeper in to the Goetian side of magic. Thats when I ran into Asmodeus.

June 17th 2016
My First Gatekeeper experience

I had started using lucid dreaming techniques and applied it to sleep paralysis at this time. This allowed me to control my fear during sleep paralysis. The shadow people and the like always manifested out of my fear and the less of it I fed them, the harder it was for them to appear. If however they managed to psych me enough to get passed that I also toyed with manifesting weapons or since I was paralyzed, imaginary limbs to fight them off, although this was less successful. My go to was pincers that came out of my back and would stab at them keeping them at bay, sort of like Marcus’s vampire wings in underworld evolution.
Anyways I awoke on my stomach and therefore unable to see sh** but some one was breathing down my neck. Then a very deep voice whispered in my ear, “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”. Quickly I manifested my imaginary appendage out of my back but the presence disappeared with lightning fast reflexes. Stuck on my stomach and not sensing anything else I fell back asleep. I awoke again very quickly to the same presence chocking me and squeezing my neck, growling: “What are you doing here”… I tried wiggling my fingers enough to wake up and then as I came to it was gone again.
I felt more like this entity was trying to work with me but at the time I let my fear get the better of me and it responded in anger. I still don’t quite understand to this day what he meant by “what are you doing here” but after meditating on the spirit for awhile and asking for signs, Asmodeus’s name started popping up everywhere. He has never again approached me in sleep paralysis to this date, but shortly after I began having clairaudient experiences with him. This typicall is regarding advice, path workings and even full on apparitions of familiars he’s given me to work with.
I now use this to establish a connection with him and i feel we have a great working relationship.

2 Likes

Here is the closest thing to my hat man experience. Found this online because I find the drawings lacking. But it was blur, the only thing missing is his staff.

21febuary 2016 citrona Odin

I can’t confirm this either no matter how hard ive tried… but the vibes I got were eerily similar to the History vikings series odin when he first appeared in episode one… Like I said tho these are just vibes and I havn’t seen him since.

1 Like

Im going to tag a few peeps I think might find this interesting
@LVX111fer @N.D_Blackwood @Keteriya (something is really tugging me to include you :thinking:) @Tekidor (heres a refresher if you ever wanted to reread some of what I shared)

Indeed, shadows brought me into the situation where I was taught this knowledge. They did not teach it directly, but opened the pathways for me to find it. The actual teachers are… well its complicated, as all things spirits are. Ill say, they were an atavistic presence in our human evolution. Basically, a species extinct that we evolved from long ago. Think like, around the time we started evolving on land and not in the water. There is a but there, because recently I learned how they resemble another classical deity, but I cant share who.

Since these things had no language when they existed, a “medium” needed to be invented to allow me to interact with their knowledge. That medium manifested as a “religion”, which was the main issue with my original post. Im not saying this is all true or that I worship these things, but the concept of “religion” is the vessel used to pass the knowledge on to me.

In short, their primordial brains viewed reality like this:

Their gods were in an eternal war. The large ones for eons preyed on the smaller gods and destroyed them. You see, these gods are always hungry, and other gods are their food. In time, the smaller gods merged or coalesced into each other to rival the larger gods strength with their combined power.

Eventually, an effort to stop the fighting began. From each God a small bit was taken, and that energy was used to create our reality. Biological life is like a tree that produces food for these gods, and after death the fruit sprouts. Each God then moves to the soul and takes from it, in equal proportion to how much they gave for creation.

The creatures from who this come from believed there were two ways to prevent yourself from being eaten (forever) by their gods. In short, mastery of either the predator energy, or the prey energy, would allow you to rival the gods strength after death (since after death you sprout with the energy the gods consume and are made of). (Caveat on this, im told by other spirits this knowledge extends way beyond the predator/prey dichotomy but I have been unsuccessful in separating it from that system, or adding onto it).

The energy in both cases adds extra strength to your spirit/soul. Existence then, is designed to squeeze biological life to constantly create that energy within you. So, the more of this energy you have to deal with, the larger your fruit will be after death.

To correctly use this energy they believed you first had to go through “death while alive”, or as ive found a death-rebirth ritual. This sprouts the fruit that the Gods eat, but since your body is still alive they may not prey on it. You may then work to feed it to literally become a god (or at the very least fend off the gods from eating you forever). This “Golden Death Body”, as they called it, can also steal that energy from others. If you dominate, or submit to someone (nicer way of saying it) in the correct manner, after their passing that energy will flow into your own death body.

To remove ourselves from their beliefs, the predator/prey dichotomy can be seen as a “dark” manifestation of yin/Yang or fem/masc. It also speaks volumes to perspectives on life from very simple creatures. We live lives of relative comfort, our struggles are usually not literally life and death like they were all the time for our ancestors.

Ive also found, on a personal note, ties to Greece and Egypt within this practice.

And again, im not saying “these are my gods” or to go out and harm anyone, just trying to share very powerful information to people who might be receptive too it. My original post had a lot of vocab, instructions on how to contact the specific shadows that brought me to it, as well as a deeper dive into the dichotomy and how it plays out, but I think its better not to share. Anyways, all are welcome to this knowledge, should you so be open to it. The Hidden Ones are ever present (as unknowing is everywhere), so if you are receptive they might reach out.

6 Likes

:pleading_face::heartbeat::fire:
Did you sign up for the nine gatekeepers ritual? Would you like to? Plz PM me if there are financial obstacles.

sleep paralysis is called Karabasan , and is similar to other stories of demonic visitation during sleep. A supernatural being, commonly known as a jinn ( cin in Turkish), comes to the victim’s room, holds him or her down hard enough not to allow any kind of movement, and starts to strangle the person

1 Like

I’ve got to say this right here has been the majority of my experiences, but I wonder really what they mean to do and if a relationship is possible or if I should ignore all the parasitic ones entirely.
I’ve tried communicating with most them to no avail as they seem to only care about holding me down and attacking me before trying to like inhale me or something from me.
The acceptions are the hat man and Hecate I’ve listed above and a few others I haven’t logged yet.
The Asmodeus one maintained communication afterwards and stopped attacking me however there was still the initial attempt.

2 Likes