Mindfulness isn’t even defined so no one can even say whether anyone is doing it in the first place. I do meditate daily. To be more clear about how mindfulness isn’t defined. Mindfulness is allegedly just being focused on the present moment, but people with cluster-b personality disorders allegedly can’t do anything but be focused on the present moment, although it is not accurate to say people with cluster-b have achieved mindfulness, somehow. It is a proof be contradiction, mindfulness can’t be defined as being focused on the present moment.
I spent enough time in psychotherapy to get a diagnosis, and Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the main mode in the here in the United States.
I tried using fictional characters to reflect validation, but it isn’t real enough to fool me, and I just feel crazy.
Mindfulness, you raise a good point. There isnt exactly a test you can use to determine if you have it or not. In that sense its a bit like magickal ability I guess, you either do or you dont, and you tend to know if you do.
What has helped me is trying to dig down to the root of the issue. Accept the way things are now, and now they will be that way for a little longer. For every thought, every emotion, as yourself why? Until you cant any longer and the truth itself is singing inside of you.
The root doesn’t seem like something I have the ability to fix in a realistic way, so I am just looking for a loophole I can use to get by. It explains my high affinity with chthonic deities, but doesn’t actually help me fix anything.
Hey, even if you dont believe you can fix it in a realistic way, I still believe you can, and im sure Eris does also. Through chaos all things are possible. I dont want to discourage you for looking for a loophole if thats where you think you will be most successful, but I also dont want you to exclude the possibility.
I came to the conclusion that I am really just fundamentally flawed and I need to do some kind of retcon. A physical retcon via a time crash would take an inconceivable amount of energy. A social retcon would require a large, but conceivable amount of wealth, but if I had it, there would be no reason to do the retcon, because I would have the validation in hand. A spiritual retcon isn’t useful, because reincarnation in this universe is just recycling the molecules I am composed of. A psychological retcon is possible, but if I could do it unaided, I would have done it by now. My best case is getting lucky stumbling through the labyrinth of scams while avoiding the urge punish myself for not getting anything to work, because I am just going to be told it is my fault over and over again and requested to hand out more money and time to scammers.
I thought something very different when I heard CBT.
You sound like a man that could benefit from an exercise called induced chi flow.
Learn it from a book by wong kiew kit called Making the most of your vital chi energy.
That book also has many exercises for mental health too, that I didnt pay attention to in many details
I know a lot of people who are addicted to validation. They will do anything for the praise and being told how great they are all the time, and struggle to survive without it. I’ve seen how it can negatively effect ones career trajectory especially, because it is like they need the validation from work, and sometimes in other areas as well.
A person suffering from this need, would do well to simply hire someone to fulfill it, just like you can hire someone for almost any other task. The key is figuring out what professional would do this task best.
Generally people don’t like to hand out what they feel is unwarranted praise, or they have some kind of agenda to inflict up on the person they are praising.
One place to look would be at life coaches, but it is important to note that not all life coaches are equal, and they are, like any other professional of varying quality and suitability for a given client.
Really screwed up my career. It made me believe volunteer work would be a way to get a good job. I ended up devaluing my labor I can’t even get up the the bottom of the pay scale in the career I wasted thousands of dollars getting an an education in. If I had a chance to start over, I would have either skipped my IT education to build websites debt free or I would have became an Electronic Engineer. Now I am in too deep and need a way to dig out. Psychotherapy has no answers for that, so I don’t want to waste any more time or money talking to psychotherapists about it.
Don’t look to others for validation, look within and understand yourself. If you see something you don’t like, change it. Proper mindfulness is awareness of the self and the desire to better oneself through that awareness, not awareness of the present moment.
Also, you might want to consider how certain acronyms might cause misunderstandings, because the hornier people on this forum might get the wrong idea.
Another thing, try reading up on philosophy, any kind really. If you’re ok with a maybe long or maybe really long wait time, then philosophy with enlighten you on not giving a flying Fword(omg sorry for the bad language)
Try the opposite, imagine they’re right, you have no “validity” (whatever the fuck that means, you’re not a credit card) and even when people aren’t talking about you, they mean people exactly like you.
You’ll still wake up in the morning, still breathe, eat, drink, use the lavatory etc.
What does validation give you?
What does feeling its absence or opposite give you?
Those are the issues, IMO, not trying to fine-tune your feels on shaky foundations, or trying to find a way to make everyone love and approve of you.
I had to go look up the “dirty” meaning of the word because apparently I don’t spend enough time studying porn. I’m familiar with cognitive behavior therapy explanation however.
On the other hand, Astaroth states, when words sound similar or the same, there is a special “meaning” there, a way that language can be “used”. She is always using words in this way, and I still don’t quite get it.
Validation makes me feel normal and an upstanding member of society, and the opposite makes me feel like a monster that should be put down, but I don’t want to put myself down because it doesn’t benefit me.
I largely been there done that when it came to self help products. I haven’t used Youper yet, but I don’t think I can validate myself with a chat bot because I can’t suspend my disbelief enough. I been working out the mental gymnastics on my balg blog Oflameo's Doom Bunker - #21 by Oflameo but I just don’t have it yet.
I am in Pittsburgh, PA. I went through Vocational Rehabilitation but it is hot garbage all of the way around. I stopped not because the program worked but I got my immediate issues solved with connections. The therapy never addressed the core issues it it was just patchwork at best. I went to a private psychotherapist for a couple years after my immediate needs were met because the state covered the bill.
I was convinced I had aptitude, my teachers and my grades show that I had aptitude, and I am using Linux now, but the market showed me that it was bullshit. I could only get what Joshua Fluke would describe as garbage jobs. I am not even working in IT right now, I am in logistics right now, but I am getting paid more now did I did when I was in IT. There is no refunds for those courses. I have to find the money somewhere.
It does suck.
You say that like I haven’t thought about it. Go back to 4 please.
Dude, you’re literally saying you can’t work to improve yourself because you suck and hate yourself and can’t change yourself. Exactly like in the thread I linked.
Stop being a defeatist L.O.S.E.R.#1 and take responsibility for your own poor state. Grow a spine and take some proper effort to better yourself instead of bitching about it on an occult forum.
