I am pretty sure of myself now, but I was curious of what I could get with cards. Looks pretty good to me. Lot of fire cards, and both decks are saying the same thing pretty much.
Question was : “What will be the outcome if I start on the path of necromancy ?”
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Alright something amazing happened.
I usually like to nap during the day, mostly because I get a lot of messages during that time, in my dreams or else. Meditations do not work that well for me yet, same for divination, I assume it will take some time for me to get used to it.
So I had a dream earlier, which was totally fucked up at start, but got better after a bit. At one point, I was fighting with my sister in our house, I was trying to show to her boyfriend how crazy and manipulative she was (in real life she isn’t, and I really love her). We end up going in the dining room, me still angry at her.
I then turn around, and I see my grandpa sitting on the ground behind me. It’s like everything else didn’t exist anymore, although I could still “hear” my sister behind me, I didn’t care anymore. I went to sit on his right side.
He was showing me something, that looked like a corn flake for some reason, and he said :
“What you are looking for is right here.”
I looked at it, didn’t really understand what he was trying to tell me so I said ;
“I don’t know, it looks like a C (the letter) reversed, or a horseshoe. I don’t understand, please don’t talk in riddles”
He looked a bit concerned, almost wondering what was he allowed to say (that’s the feeling I got), he then told me a name, which is Raoul. I shall explain later that part.
So I’m like “Yeah, it kind of rings a bell for me but, not really”.
He takes my right hand, almost like he was trying to read the lines on it, shows me the spot under my thumb, Venus mount, and then the spot under my little finger (which looks like the marriage line or something), while saying :
“You see, you will find the answer either inside, or outside”.
Again, I was confused. I wanted to ask him if he was still here with us, or was he able to pass peacefully but the dream ended up here.
So first of all, my grandpa died few years ago. Although at the end I wasn’t that close to him, mostly because I was depressed as fuck, I loved him when I was younger. He was really kind, and loved us even tho he didn’t show it. I never had any dreams about him before he died, nor I had right after. I started dreaming about him last year, which was pretty curious to me.
Second, who is Raoul ? Raoul was, or at least I thought it was one of the spirit who was visiting me for a while, and who wanted to help me, before I told him to go away. I say “I thought” because he didn’t give me that name, he never gave me any name, but it was the first name that came in my mind when I wanted to know it. But I didn’t really believe the information I got was real. So not sure if it’s him or not.
So all of that let me really confuse, I don’t understand any of it. But I’m still happy to have seen my grandpa, he looked well and in peace, it’s what matters to me the most right now.
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On another topic, I’ve tried getting in touch with my father again, and sent him a message 2-3 days ago.
The last time we talked with each other, I was 11 (I am now 23), and I was the one who didn’t want to see him anymore. He is a true psychopath, he manipulates people to get what he wants, and he always did. He likes to torture people, in his own way. He is highly intelligent, like most psychopaths and knows exactly how to get into people’s mind.
So why the hell would I want to talk to him again ? Because there is a part of my life I need to close, and he is part of it. I am not going to go into all the details, but when I was a kid, he did things to me a father shouldn’t do, sexually. And it’s only when I was 11, I understood it was wrong, and decided to get him out of my life. My mom agreed to it, and she was more than happy about it.
But because of what he did, I’ve had issues with men my whole life. I attracted people like him to me, without even knowing it, and I ended up suffering for nothing. Even now I have a hard time with men.
So 2 days ago, after the message was sent, I asked Belial to make sure things would go well, that I wouldn’t get “trapped” in his shit. Went to sleep right after, and had a really busy night. Had a few sleep paralysis, never had that many, and I’m suspecting it was probably Belial’s doing, I don’t know how but the timing was just too good. I ended up dreaming about him, in which he was hugging me, almost like to tell me he was here. Anyway.
My father called me earlier, and we stayed on the phone for 2 hours. The man didn’t change, he is still the same as before, if not worse. I called on Belial during the call, at the very beginning, because I was afraid I was going to lose my shit, I was shaking and was about to cry. I’m impressed how I was able to stand up to him, when he tried to get me many times during the call. He tried during the first hour to get above me, trying to stir shit up. Acting like an idiot, trying to make me say things I didn’t say. But nothing worked, and by the end of the first hour, he started to calm down, seeing how what he did wasn’t working. We then talked “casually” for the rest of the call. I think he was completly destabilised, mostly when I said at one point “You know, I don’t resent you anymore”. He didn’t expect that one, and went silent for a good 5-10 secs. He did not expect me to stand up to him, at all. I think when he called me, he was probably expecting me to scream at him, blame him for what he did and cry. That’s what he wanted, and the fact that I didn’t give him that pleasure, that I did not play his game, and that I was able to turn it against him, he didn’t like it AT ALL.
I am really proud of myself, and I am really thankful to Belial, because I am sure if I was able to react like that, it’s thanks to him.
@anon39079500 I’m tagging you on that one, thought you would be interested to know about it. And if you need a target for one of your workings, I have one for you 
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That took some real courage and I applaud you for it.
Knowing his relationship to you is all I needed 
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Thank you ! It was a big thing for me, I feel so much lighter honestly. Really proud of me on that one.
Relationship is a big word, there isn’t much connection anymore 
But yeah, feel free to do whatever you want to him my friend !
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Same here
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Well, this journal might get a bit more active really soon.
I’ve mentioned it already I think but I get a lot of sleep paralysis, and sometimes I end up going out of my body (astral/etheric projection or whatever, I don’t know the difference yet). When it was happening months ago, there was always a random spirit around me, so I ended up assuming they were the one getting me out of my body. Not sure what is the truth honestly, but it doesn’t really matter anymore.
Lately, I realised how easy it was for me to get those sleep paralysis. When I say easy, I mean a 90% chance for me to get one when I take a nap during the day. They rarely happens during the night tho. And so I thought I could try and turning it to my advantage, to try to get out of my body, somehow.
I was a bit freaked out at start, mostly because I didn’t understand what was happening at all. Now I’m slowly getting used to it, and I’m not only getting more conscious during them (things are less blurry, and I am able to analyse things more easily), but my dreams are also getting affected.
I am finally able to lucid dream, thing that never happened before.
In the second lucid dream I had, which was less than a week ago, I was casually walking in the streets of some unknown country, looking for my dog who got stolen by some people. I then stop, and say “But… I don’t have a dog, Alto died years ago (which is true, I had a dog few years ago). So that means I’m dreaming !” The moment I said that, I started flying and going really high in the sky, to the point I could see the stars. I was laughing like a mad woman, and decided to call on Belial. Yeah, I was so fucking happy that I couldn’t resist lmao.
After maybe 10 secs, I ended up in a giant room which was pretty bright. I couldn’t even see the walls, nor the ceiling. There was a table in front of me, with a piece of paper on it. I don’t remember what was written on it fully, but it was like “Congratulations…”. I suddently felt someone behind me, and freaked out, falling on the floor. And who was it ? Belial. I was like shit, awesome. I couldn’t really see his face, but he looked “human”, physically. He looked proud of me (that’s how I felt it), and he said something like “… someone I like very much”, talking about me, but I didn’t quite catch the first part. He then walked away, and I woke up instantly.
Literally the best dream I’ve ever had.
I shall post more about my sleep paralysis and OBE’s experiences later, still trying to understand some things first.
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Some things that happened few days ago but forgot to write them down.
As I mentioned in another message, I am trying to astral project since a while now. Although it did happen a few times already, I was never fully conscious during them, never really aware of my surroundings and there was always a spirit present (which made me assume they were the ones getting me out of my body).
Now that I am working on it fully, by myself, things seems to happen more… naturally I guess, more smoothly. But that’s where things gets confusing for me. Because my dreams are now getting so vivid, and lucid, that I sometimes have a hard time deciding if I am dreaming, or actually astral projecting.
Like this experience, which happened few days ago. I felt myself fall on my bed, then after a bit, I got out of my body, sitting on my bed and walking around in my room. I was wondering if I was actually dreaming, or in the astral and out of my body. So I was like alright, let’s go downstairs and see if I can find my mom. I go down, call her and could hear her answer from the bathroom. I go find her and explain what happens to her (me feeling myself fall on the bed and thinking I am in the astral) and she is like “Oh yeah, that’s weird”. She was reacting in the same way she would in the real life.
I woke up a bit after, so freaking confused of what happened.
Another one, which happened 2 days ago.
I was actually astral projecting this time, with the help of a spirit, no idea who it was. I kept getting put back in my body for some reason, like 3 or 4 times. Then after the last time, I was put in some really weird place, some kind of forest. I was wondering where the fuck I was, then I remembered something I read one day, that if you say you wanna go to a certain place or to a person, you will automatically go (no idea if its true, but wanted to try it), so I was like alright, I wanna go back to that spirit I was with earlier. Boom, teleported in some random house, which was totally not mine. No one was here, so I repeated the same stuff, and got teleported in my street, maybe 100 meters away from my house. Again, no one around. I got upset, and said " I wanna try something else then".
Something appeared in front of me, almost like the menu of a game (yeah I know, weird), and I could see Belial’s name on the right side, and Beliel on the left for some reason. I focused on Belial’s name, trying to get to him. In the same time, I could see the image of some big rusty chains in front of me, moving a bit. After a few seconds of nothing happening, I said “Well, seems like I’m not allowed there or something”.
And who appeared right next to me ? Yeah, you guessed it, Belial. Like the last time, I kind of got scared, mostly because I wasnt expecting it (seems like he likes to appear behind me to freak me out or something).
I started messing around, saying something like “Oh I wonder who you could be”, to which he answered with an amused look “I wonder yeah, who do you think I am huh ?”, and then I couldn’t resist and just hugged him. Not gonna lie, I was a bit scared he would be upset at me for that, but seemed quite happy with it.
And so we talked for a little bit, not enough for my taste tho. He mentioned a block he removed from me, and said he was surprised of how I kinda went in a rampage when it was gone (in a good way, I just dont know how to translate it).
I was really surprised of how he looked like, nothing I would have imagined. He was dressed like those bikers that ride Harleys, with reddish semi-long hair. When he appeared at start, he had a scaly skin with 2 horns on his head, that disapeared after a bit.
I woke up a bit after, freaking pumped up by what happened, and wondering again if that was a really lucid dream, or in the astral. Either way, I was still really happy about it !
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Today I’ve learned something new, the dreamscape. I had no idea what it was, although I’ve seen it mentioned on the forum a few times, I’ve never really looked into it until today. So things are starting to make a bit more sense for me.
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Now comes the issue of recognizing when I’m actually dreaming, and when I’m out of my body. Maybe I understand things badly I don’t know, maybe it’s really simple.
Usually before, I would get all the “signs” that I’m about to get out, so my body would vibrate, I could hear a lot of noise but then, I would just be out of my body, no in-between. I couldn’t really “see” myself rolling around and then sit on the bed, but now I do, and it’s way more vivid, I’m way more conscious aswell.
Today I even managed to go look at my face in the mirror, and damn it was weird. It wasn’t scary, but it didn’t look like my face at all, it was all distorted, my face kept moving around and I could see some kind of writing on it too.
Honestly ? I have no idea what’s going on 
It doesn’t really bother me though, I think it will make more sense for me at some point.
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Just writing that down really quick.
Months ago I had a strange dream, in which I saw an eagle fly upside down (so legs up), to come right in front of my kitchen’s window. It was basically just hovering there watching me, until I got the message in my head “Pact in September”.
I questioned that dream for a bit, then totally forgot about it. You will see why I talked about that dream in a bit.
Until earlier when I went to practice astral projection. First of all it went quite smoothly, so smooth that when I actually came out the first time, I thought I failed and moved my physical body 
So I went back in bed and tried to “fall back asleep”. Pretty sure I heard a spirit mocking me at that time, because I got spooked for a bit, and was like “Did I just hear a spirit ?”
But anyway. Second time, I could feel my whole body vibrate (as always) but I could also feel the presence of a spirit right next to me, which again spooked me a bit but nothing crazy. Until I could feel it grab my legs, and start pulling really slowly. I asked him to stop but nop, just pulled me out of the bed fully. I was kind of getting attacked, and was panicking a bit. Not gonna lie I am not really proud of my reaction, I had no idea what to do.
Since I could feel my physical body, I was trying to move it with all my will but couldnt, even tried focusing on one finger or one toe, but nothing, I was probably too panicked.
After a bit it stopped fully, and a girl came next to me. She looked around my age, so in her 20’s, maybe younger. I dont remember what she said at start, but she did say at some point that something was going to happen in September. At start I was wondering what it could be, then I actually remembered the dream I mentioned and told her, that it wasnt the first time I heard that something was going to happen in September. She was like “Ah ! You see ?” I asked her if it was something just about me, or about everyone but she did not answer, although I had a heavy feeling it was for me.
She then started going out of the house, me still following her. When she went out of the gate, I decided I could try and enjoy the fact that I was out, and test a few things. Instead of opening the gate, I decided to go through it, which was my first time doing it and I was really surprised it worked.
I then starting calling Belial (yes again, what can I say, I am determined to talk to him everytime I get the chance ).
I couldn’t see him, even turned around to see if he was appearing behind me again but nop. I did see a big house cat following me though, which was greyish, with a really long fur. I wonder if this wasnt a familiar of Belial. Also, it isnt the first time I see cats around me when I go out of my body, so I’m wondering whats up with that.
Anyway. I ended up flying around, and was wondering if I would be able to meet any entities in the astral. I started going through a really really dark place, and when I almost couldn’t see anything, I turned around and went back towards the light, and woke up right after that. No idea what it was, but quite spooky.
Oh and little edit, this one was the most vivid I’ve ever had. It wasnt blurry at all, and I was fully conscious during it. I actually thought about it while I was out and flying, and pointed out how real it felt like.
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A bit of a weird dream I had, I barely remember it so I need to write it down before I forget fully.
There was a cluster of people, just pushing each other for an unknown reason. I was behind them, watching. I could see Belial on top of them all. It almost looked like they were trying to reach out to him. I thought the scene looked funny, so I asked him was he was doing. Then I dont recall what happened next, but it was like we became one, him and me. I could feel his feelings and emotions and he could feel mine. It felt really personnal to a deep level. It was like he chosed me out of all those people (and trust me I dont like saying that ive been “chosen”, I feel really uncomfortable with that idea). I remember I said “I love you” at the end, but this wasn’t in a romantic way, more like what someone would say to a member of their family.
Honestly its really hard to describe what happened and what I felt in that dream, because I never had that. I also want to know what it means, even though I have a slight idea, I find it weird.
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“Overthinking will be your undoing” was all I could think of while looking at this. Then, “look before you leap”. Seemingly contradictory but good advice nonetheless. 
True Black is such a pretty deck 
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Yep, that would be me ! I tend to over analyze and over think everything, this can be really annoying sometimes.
And yes I love that deck ! I have another one in a complete different style, it’s the Lubanko Tarot, and god it looks amazing.
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Tonight King Paimon showed up in one of my dreams, by just showing me his sigil. His sigil was golden, but with a kind of blue/cyan aura dancing around it. There was nothing more to that dream.
He came twice in my dreams in the past, months ago, when I wasn’t even really interested to work with him. Lately I thought about finally contacting him, but didn’t yet. I wanted his help regarding a book I am trying to write. So I wonder two things.
Does he want to help me with my book, or with something else, since he already showed up before ?
I also remember seeing Lucifer’s sigil in another dream, but can’t remember much about it.
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Interesting thing that happened today during a nap I took. Dream or OBE, I don’t Know 
A spirit was here, and we talked for quite a while. Although I do not remember some parts, like the start and the end, I remember the middle quite well. So I’m just gonna say some bits of it.
At some point I was drifting in and out.
Me : It’s getting annoying, I don’t know why it keeps happening.
He laughed a bit, and said he could help with that.
Me : So since I’m conscious right now I need to ask but what’s the deal with me ? Why do I attract so many of you guys ? I know there is something but I just don’t know what.
It looked like he was thinking for a second. He did not answer but went behind me and started to examine my back for some reason. He did a little “Oh” sound, which sounded a bit worried when he started to check my sides. I told him that I got attacked by something once or twice, and it was always on my sides.
He procceded to touch my left side for maybe 10 secs, then my right shoulderplate. It felt like something was leaking from both, something thick which disgusted me a bit.
He said “Good” and didn’t seems worried anymore.
Fast forward.
Me : Is it a good idea for me to even try getting out of my body ?
Him : Well it can be dangerous (implying it was dangerous FOR ME mostly).
Me : Hmm. Well even if I don’t do it, I still do it without even realising. I mean, it still happen even if I don’t want to.
Those were the most important stuff that happened. He was walking around my room in the end, just investigating it.
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I was feeling a bit down yesterday night, right before going to sleep. I can not compare it to how I used to feel 2-3 years ago, that’s for sure, now it is way better. But still, I have my moments, like I guess everyone else.
In those moments I will just talk to Belial, and tell him what’s wrong. Of course I don’t hear him back but I don’t mind it too much, because I know he hears me.
So I was telling him how I have no idea where to go in my life, nothing is really appealing to me job/studies wise. I’m a bit of a perfectionnist, and in the same time I keep putting myself down, so everytime I want to start something I think “There is no way for me to go to the end of it”.
I didn’t talk for too long, I got tired and just fell asleep after some time.
He came in my dreams again though, like he always do. It was a really weird dream I’m not gonna lie. I cannot remember most of the first part of it. I know at some point I had the constellation of the Hunter in head (which is Orion), and then it switched. I was in front of a black candle who was burning normally. I had some silly thoughts in that moment, asking if it was possible for him, Belial, to move the candle. To which I think he responded with something like “Why would I do that” lmao.
The flame started to move really fast, expanding and shrinking over and over. When it settled, there was 2 flames next to each other. The main one, big and tall, and the second one way smaller, but burning with the same intensity. It made me think of Belial and me for some reason, don’t know why.
Then the dream became a bit fucky, I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I had something wrapped around my legs, which reminded me of the skin of a serpent when I started removing it. The skin under it looked horrible, burned almost. It wasn’t painful, but it was for sure not nice to the eye. And then it got suddently better, the skin getting a better look.
The dream ended here, and I woke up right after it around 7am, which was quite early for me. But right when I woke up, I could have bet I heard Belial’s voice. I don’t remember what he said at all, but his voice surprised me. It wasn’t as strong as I was expecting, but really pleasant that’s for sure.
Oh and funny thing, when I started writing the post, this music started playing. I started listening this kind of music quite recently (ACDC mostly), but never this group. “Scorpions” uhh ? 
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It’s been a while I haven’t posted, and I will try to post more stuff in my journal when I have some free time.
I had a lot of stuff on my mind, so I had to take some time to think about all of it.
I am writing a text about Belial lately, mostly about the little experience I have with him but I don’t know, I felt like I should do it. The text isn’t ready yet, and I am not even sure if I will put it on my journal, but will see.
And so I had another lucid dream about Belial last night, and that one was really out of the ordinary.
I was in an unknown room, which I assumed was in my house, and I wanted to call on Belial. I could see his name appearing in front of me, like a shadow on the wall. Then he appeared right next to me, on my left like always (or behind). He looked exactly like Tom Ellis in Lucifer, the name popped up in my head actually in the dream. I was happy to see him, but he started getting a bit upset, telling me to make sure it was really him next time and not another spirit. I don’t think he was really angry, but that he wanted to make sure I don’t run into a parasite or something. While he was talking, his face transformed into something scary, something really demon-like, not sure why.
I said “But I know it’s you, for sure”. He calmed down, took me in his arms and kissed me.
We later went outside in my garden, and I told him I was getting afraid that the connection would get weaker but he didn’t seems to mind or worry about it at all.
The dream ended a bit after, and I woke up at 4am, just really confused about this whole thing.
Why confused ? Belial often acted in a loving way, often hugging me and reassuring me, but never in a romantic or sexual way, and I always was fine with that because I didn’t want more.
But this time was different. I know it’s “just” a dream, but my dreams for me are mostly full of meaning, and its never some random stuff. And Belial always communicate with me through dreams. And for him to kiss me like that… I don’t know. I am not sure how to react honestly. I will for sure tell him to not go further, and put some boundaries down.
But overall I am just confused, I might need some grounding to make sure I don’t panic or get lost in this whole situation.
Yes Belial was always here for me, and he is the one I trust the most, even compared to my family, but since the start I always considered him like a paternal figure, and I didn’t want more for a few reasons. So yeah. Gonna have to discuss this whole thing with him. I know he likes women, a lot, but I don’t want to have to kick him out of my life if he doesn’t respect what I want. I am sure he won’t do that, but you never know fully someone.
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Small entry for today, but will post more soon (when I find the motivation).
I woke up with Prince Orobas in mind this morning, which is quite unusual because I never thought about working with him, ever. So hm yeah, it could be my mind fucking with me, which I doubt it is the case, but I will still wait to see how it goes.
I had a little talk with Belial yesterday night, before going to sleep. Well, it was just me talking lol. I asked him to help me to be more confident about myself and my capacities, because this is blocking me a lot in my life at the moment. I’m afraid to go forward when it comes to certain things, because I’m scared I won’t do well, that I won’t do good enough. And my “good enough” is quite high. Night was pretty calm overall, no weird dreams or stuff happening, beside the Orobas thing in the morning, which MAYBE, could be linked to that ? But I don’t know, I will let things happens and see.
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