A Walk Between Worlds

[Mei]

Hey hey I’m back !

I’ve been pretty inactive in the last few months, mostly doing… Nothing. I will admit, I was very lazy, I stopped doing meditations, stopped doing OBE’s training, or anything spiritual or magick related. Trying to get back on track again now, slowly.
I have a lot of books I need to read, but uuuh again, lazy. So I made a small list of books I should read first, or work with. I started reading most of them but never finished

Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming, by Stephen LaBerge PhD and Howard Rheingold. This one is important for me, because I dream a lot, so I want to be able to control my dreams.

Magickal Protection, by Damon Brand. I already went through it, did the Sword banishing for a while, then stopped. I also did the Master Protection Ritual last year (if I remember the name correctly). So I want to work again with it, more seriously and properly.

Energy Work and Astral Dynamics, by Robert Bruce. I think both goes together, as a lot of informations and exercices are in both books. But yeah, as I mentioned a few times in my journal, I’ve had a few experiences with Astral projection/OBE’s, so I really want to master it.

The Root of Chinese Qigong, by Yang Jwing-Ming. This got me interested, I started reading it not long ago, but it’s not something you can finish in a week, it takes time, lot of work.

Initiation Into Hermetics, by Franz Bardon. And then there is this book… I am really conflicted about it because it is pretty difficult for me, it forces me to get out of my confort zone way too much. It’s good in a way, but… Yeah. I will take my time with it. Bought it a while ago, went a bit through it and started doing the first exercices but quickly stopped.

So those are the main ones, but I’ve got a bunch of other books I need to read at some point. Some doesn’t need me to do anything, it’s just reading, no exercices really. Raymond Buckland’s work, C.G. Jung, Mauro Biglino, Zecharia Sitchin and a few other. Really interesting books.

There is a lot of things I still need to talk about, but that will wait for tomorrow. I also made my dream journal, so I’ll be able to finally write most, if not all my dreams, so my main journal doesn’t have a bunch of everything mixed in it lol.

[Mei]

Today I got offered a new oracle deck ! My cousin gave it to me, I can’t remember how she got it, but I think it was with a game she bought.
I really like it, getting good vibes from it.

[dagar]

its so pretty!!

[anon39079500]

Looks well done. Please share when ready

[Mei]

I had a music playing in my dream tonight, and even when I woke up it was just filling my whole mind. It was from Katty Perry, “The One That Got Away”.
Pretty sure a spirit put that song in my head, cause I didn’t hear that music in ages lmao. Also because my whole body was vibrating after waking up. It was mostly the chorus playing, and not the rest of the song.

I’ve had that happening a few weeks ago, but I couldn’t remember the song, I can only assume it was from Imagine Dragons. And same thing happened as my whole body was vibrating, but I wasn’t dreaming when I heard the music. It was between sleeping and being awake, as if someone was keeping me in that state, and the music kept playing in my head. I remember thinking about Belial during the same time, and that I should plug in my headphones and listen to the song before I forget.
But yeah, was tired so thought to myself “I will remember”, and I didn’t Shit happens I guess ahah.

[Mei]

Quick update on things.

Today I was feeling pretty shitty not gonna lie, didn’t feel like doing anything. Didn’t have that good of a sleep, because my sister is actually living again with us, and she is in the room right next to mine. So she got up at 6:30am this morning for her work, waking me up. I got up 40 mins later maybe, thought it would be a good idea to try something. In the book I’m reading about lucid dreaming, they say you have more chances to get lucid dreams when going back to sleep after some time. So I got up, did my things for two good hours, and went back to sleep.
No dreams, but got into that trance state again, when I can get out of my body if I want for example. And during that time, a spirit came to visit. No idea who that was, but he was pretty chill. I haven’t got a visit like that since months (if I don’t count Belial), December to be exact.
We talked a tiny bit, and interesting thing was that he was talking in spanish at first. But I could understand him ! I haven’t talked spanish since school, so I forgot everything. But it just made sense in my mind, I don’t think it was the language I understood, but more like the meanings of what he was saying. I don’t know if that make sense.
And so I asked him : “Why are you talking in spanish ?”, he laughed and switched to french, my language, and said “Oh I’m sorry, I just like it”.

Really really strange thing. I’ve had that happening a few times in my dreams, as someone would talk in japonese and I could understand everything they were saying.

Then around 4pm, I took a little nap, I was tired. I got my periods yesterday, so this plus the lack of sleep… Not good. Then I had that strange dream, which I talked about in my other journal.

Mei's Dream Journal

I wanted to edit the above post but couldn’t, so new message it is. Just took a little nap, in which I had a rather interesting dream. The details of the dream at the start aren’t interesting. It was a mix of everything, so nothing to see here. Fast forward in the dream, I find the journal of my sister. It wasn’t a book, but more looked like a kind of document holder. I remember the color clearly, as it was red. Not a bright red, but rather more dark. In the dream, I knew she has been doing re…

Also bought and read “Belial: A History”, written by Baal Kadmon. I was like “why not” afted that dream.

Starting on “Energy Work” by Robert Bruce, and “Initiation Into Hermetics” by Franz Bardon. Let’s hope my motivation doesn’t die again on the way, because that would be frustrating. Belial, give me some strength please, or a good kick in the butt if it happens
Just joking around, but he knows what motivates me. He knows me too well, it is upsetting almost
Also, I am still reading the Qigong book, taking my time with it. Yeah, I am reading 4 books at the same time, might not be a great idea but that’s how I work.

I think that’s all for today. I will try to update more the journal, to write down my progresses with the 2 books. And I will probably write a few things regarding some shadow work I’ve been doing. I say “a few”, but there is quite a lot actually. I was doing shadow work before even knowing it was a thing, every week, if not every day. It does help to have a super active mind sometimes

[Mei]

Sharing a music I discovered yesterday. I usually not listen to this, but this is pretty nice. The lyrics and the clip are interesting.

Neoni x Easy Mccoy - MAYHEM (Official Lyric Video)

[Mei]

Just a small update on something.

I’m going to be living at my cousin’s flat for 15 days, because she is going in vacation in Egypt (asked her to bring me a little Anubis statue if she can find ), and she needed someone to take care of her cats.
So I brought my books with me, and my tablet, so I have a few things to do, and my PC.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. The last time I went to sleep at her flat, and it was the first time, I had a feeling I was being watched. And indeed, when I went to sleep I heard someone in my sleep say “Are you sleeping ?”, and that wasn’t my cousin but a male’s voice.
Today again, I had a hard time sleeping, couldn’t stay asleep for long. After some time, I was able to get myself in that trance state, so I can get out of my body. That’s interesting how I can do it by myself now, I still have some troubles with it, it’s far from being easy. Sometimes when it happens by itself, I will move some body parts like my feet to shake it off, cause I just want to sleep and not feel my body shake and vibrate. Hates this feeling btw lmao.
So I was focusing on my body, and I felt… someone, something was around. I thought to myself “whatever, will see what happens”. Dude helped me get out of my body it felt like, cause I had a hard time
Super weird thing was that I had the feeling I knew him, and I even asked him “Why did you take that form ?”, which I can’t remember what he answered exactly, but I think he said it was the form of someone I knew. I don’t know anyone looking like that, but alright, I will take the bait He wasn’t agressive with me or anything, but something felt odd, and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
But it’s not my home, I guess I will probably find some unpleasant spirits while I stay, it is expected. I will put up some more protections for myself.

Also, I wasn’t able to see my body, neither my cousin’s body which was sleeping next to me. Never was able to see my body while I was out to be honest. I don’t know what’s up with that, I always heard people saying they could.

But yeah, my cousin’s place feels too alive. I don’t like it.

[Mei]

Little summary of my progress with Initiation Into Hermetics.

I decided I was done with the first exercises of the Step I, which are Thought Control, Thought Discipline and Mastery of Thoughts. Those exercises are quite complicated for me I have to admit, that’s why even though I am going to start the next exercices, I will continue those for as long as I can. Practice makes perfect right ?

The first one was about observing my train of thoughts, and remembering them. This wasn’t too hard. I’ve tried to put my thoughts in two categories. The first one would be “Ephemeral/meaningless thoughts”, which are thoughts that comes and go, that aren’t really about something special, they are just random stuff. So for me those aren’t really worth taking notice of. The second category would be “Substantial/significant thoughts”, which are thoughts about daily/weekly issues, things that you think about quite often, situations that we deem importants (notice how I am writing that, we think some of them are of importance, when in reality they aren’t, but we spend and waste our time thinking about them). Those, in my opinion, are worth observing, and remembering. This wasn’t an exercice in the book, but I decided it would be a good thing to do.

The second exercice is about focusing on one task/thought. An example in the book would be if we are at work, we should not think about private life things, but focus our thoughts on our work exclusively. But also if we are thinking about something in particuliar, like let’s say you are thinking about what to write in your next post in your journal. Concentrate on that thought until you are done with it, and don’t let yourself think about something else. That might be a shitty example, but you get it.

The third exercice is about well… not thinking about anything pretty much. I used to be horrible at it, and now it got way better. I don’t think I could do it for a good 20-30 minutes though, not for now at least.

So now I am entering the new exercice, which is Introspection (Self-Cognizance). I see that as a kind of shadow work, so this will be pretty easy I think, as I am pretty deep in it by now.
This is about recording our negative characteristics, our flaws, and write them all down. Then you have to divide them into categories, the four elements (fire air water and earth), and an other one which would be “Indifferent”. Then into three groups, which goes by the most important flaws that influence your life the most, to the less important ones.
Then when this is done, I will have to do the same thing, but about positive characteristics. I will not record those on this journal, as it is adviced in the book to not show it to anyone. BUT, I will write a few things down about the shadow work I’ve been doing since Belial entered my life. I don’t know when I am going to do this, hopefully during those 15 days I am away from my home. I have to try to occupy myself with other things than going on my PC and play, watch videos or series/movies. That’s something I’ve been doing less and less by the way, playing games at least. I used to spend my time on them, and now there is sometimes days when I won’t play, which is a really good thing.

Also, I have to work on my defenses again. Pretty sure those are lacking, because I haven’t been working on them since a while. I do feel protected, but I don’t know. Not confident enough I guess.

[Mei]

Just a little past-present-future reading. The question was : Where am I at in my growth ?

Well, this is pretty accurate I think. I was expecting more a darker card for the past, but The Star actually describes it better, to my surprise.

Past - The Star : Hope, purpose, faith, those are the words that this card gives. In this deck however, it also says : “The Star is about an understanding of one’s sincere self”. And it is true, I found myself 3 years ago. Yes I have quite a dark past, but it is not important anymore, what is important is what happened after. This card is accurate.

Present - Page of Swords : This one seems also accurate. Talks about going forward towards a goal, knowledge and stuff.

Future - King of Cups : Now we are talking. This one is about mastering one’s emotions, not letting them “run you over”. This reminds me of what I talked about with Norse in my dream journal.

A bit lazy to write more at the moment, and tired aswell.

[anon39079500]

King of Cups, you say?

Æther Realm - King of Cups

[Mei]

I have no idea who that guy was, but what’s being said in the video resonates a lot. Even more now because since a few days, I’ve had tarots readings telling me to get out of my confort zone and keep pushing. Great video.

"What It's All About" - A Memorial Tribute To The Beautiful Life of Josh Neuman

[Mei]

I’ve had a though in my head two days ago (or a message from a spirit ?), which was to look at things like a child would do.
I mean, we were all children so we did it, but we forgot. So the question now is how do they do that ? What does that mean, to look at things like a child would ? Like if everything was new ? Without judgement ? Or maybe to enjoy every single thing and not think about what comes after ?

Time to learn again.

[anon39079500]

@Mei

we were all children so we did it, but we forgot.

Usually means to look at things for a more “basic” perception. I applied this to myself recently (last few days). It isn’t necessarily a means to lower us back to 0 or where we did this last. Rather, it’s a way to be thankful for progress and, hopefully, realign from 0. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I need this from time-to-time.

[Mei]

Well I’ve never looked into it, never interested me. Like yeah, I’ve heard people mentioning it but that’s it. And now it sparkled my interest, like I’m missing something important.
I kinda thought that it’s a change in how we perceive things.

[Mei]

Thanks for your imput, I haven’t really had much time to think about it, but now I’m back from my cousin’s flat, I will be able to go deeper into this.

[Mei]

Small meditation with Anubis, listened to a kind of meditation video on youtube, which wasn’t that great honestly BUT, when the video ended, I decided to not move yet and see what would be the next video to play.
I don’t think I have heard of this, but gosh, there is something to it. My whole body was vibrating just listening to this, and my mind was starting to go elsewhere. I am 100% sure Anubis sent it to me, this is great.

Also on another note, the “black hole” dream I had recently, it was probably from him too.

A'an - The Tablets of Thoth (Psychedelic Reading)

[Mei]

I’ve had something a bit weird happening this morning. I woke up at some point, and tried to make my whole body vibrate like for an OBE. I was trying to keep my feet moving but still feel the vibration, so I wasn’t in a total state of sleep paralysis, but I could feel that this state I was in was becoming deeper. I thought to myself I could try calling on Belial since I was like this, but instead I heard a voice on my right side, just next to my ear. The voice was really strong, and hoarsh. It told me a few things but I can’t remember much honestly.
Then I saw a man standing next to my bed, and his face was half dog half man. It wasn’t Anubis, of that I am sure. He said “What do you see ?”, so I told him how I saw him. We talked quite a bit, I am surprised for how long I was able to stay in that state honestly. At some point it was becoming so vivid (because it’s usually quite blurry for me), I asked him if I was actually awake And he laughed at me, but didn’t really answer. I told him I was afraid I would lose the connexion soon, but he didn’t seems to worry about it much, even though I did wake up for good right after.

The weird thing now, is that in my head, I had Bael’s name. Never worked with him, never wanted to. So there is 3 possibilities. The first one it was really Bael, the second one it was Belial (which I highly doubt, he would have said it, and I recognize him by now), and then the third, it is a complete different spirit. So it could totally be an imposter, I keep that in mind.
If it’s Bael, he didn’t appear to me in his frog, cat or spider form, but had some face features of a dog (white dog to be exact) BUT, he did have multiple arms at some point, like a spider I guess. He also said a bunch of cryptic stuff, that made me think a lot. But overall I didn’t feel like I was in danger, I did tell him at some point “I did not invite you here”, and he just had an apological laugh.

Sorry for the tag @Mike_Bee , but I remember you being quite close to Bael, so I thought I could ask you if whatever I said should be considered as a red flag, or not.

Right after that, I fell back asleep and had a really strange dream, in which I was entering a house, got killed by someone, and revived by him right after.

[Mike_Bee]

@Mei

Sorry for the tag @Mike_Bee , but I remember you being quite close to Bael, so I thought I could ask you if whatever I said should be considered as a red flag, or not.

Ok, first, no problem tagging me. I’m happy to help.

Second, this doesn’t raise red flags to me. For one the type of conversation you report having, the circumstances you had this conversation in, and the cryptic nature of it does not sound like an imposter spirit to me. Most imposter spirits I’ve seen typically show up to evocations to pretend they’re something they’re not and freeload on offerings and try to keep those offerings coming in the future. Sure there are other types but that’s what I’ve commonly seen so far.

Third, funny bit of synchronicity that you thought to ask me this on this very day. I went on a VK jehennum binge earlier and one thing he said that I strongly agreed with and was happy his experience corroborates mine is that spirits do not always show up in thier textbook forms “spider, cat, toad, ect.” I’ve experienced different forms of Goetic spirits frequently in my own work with the 72.

So my gut feeling and best guess is that you were visited by King Bael. Something about the way you mentioned his hoarse voice struck a knowing cord in me and I strongly intuit that it really was him. Take that for what it’s worth my friend.

My unsolicited advice would be take a look at your life surroundings and circumstances now, take stock. My experience with King Bael has been he is an excellent teacher in the art and practice of getting your shit together and being a true ruler, the undisputed monarch of your kingdom and life. Perhaps this is what his interest is with you. Perhaps not.

Good luck my friend.

[Mei]

Thank you for the answer !

I don’t really do evocations, it’s not really my thing, so I never ran into an imposter in that situation. However, I often have OBE’s, either while I sleep, when I’m falling asleep or when I wake up, so spirits mostly reach out to me in that state. Problem is, it seems I attract spirits like crazy, so there was a time I would get a lot of visits, which weren’t all good and friendly. It got way better now but, I still try to be careful with the spirits who comes randomly, like Bael (if it’s really him). I mean, when I said to him that I did not invite him, his reaction was kinda like “Yeah, shit sorry” lol.

Talk about synchronicities, I’ve had so many in the past 2 weeks it’s actually crazy But yeah, I don’t have much experiences with spirits, outside of Belial and Anubis now, so I wasn’t too sure.

It could be honestly, even though I’ve got my life sorted quite a bit now, thanks to Belial, it’s far from being perfect. I struggle a lot with finding a job, or even studies I would like to do, so it blocks me at the moment for many things. I will try to talk to him and ask him directly I guess, and see what comes out.