A lot has happened in the last two days with Lord Belial. I have said before that I have problems with a wendigo. My “mother” is one. A wendigo split off a piece of its soul and sent it to incarnate because it wanted to spread its evil here. It’s also extremely delusional and narcissistic. It thought that once it arrived in this world, the humans would immediately recognize it as superior and make it their god. It seriously believed that all of humanity would stop what they were doing upon its arrival and kneel to it. All. of. the. humans. Then the humans would excitedly offer themselves and their babies for it to eat. “Eat me!” they’d all scream, flinging themselves at it.
Why babies? Because “their meat is the most tender.”
Its fantasy is the most delusional shit I’ve ever heard. At first, I thought it was fucking with me and didn’t actually believe that shit. Then I realized that it does. What. the. fucking. fuck.
I don’t know how aware its physical incarnation, my “mother,” is of what she really is or her “mission,” but she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The gods told me that NPD is a form of “wendigo sickness.” I don’t know if that’s true of every case, but many of the symptoms overlap such as:
*Both never let go of their victims. You can cut the narcissist out of your life, and twenty years later, they’re still obsessing over you and stewing in hatred against you.
*Insatiable greed. Narcissism is insatiable greed for “narcissistic supply.” Nothing will ever be enough for them.
*Wendigo literally devour their victims; narcissists do it in a metaphorical sense, leaving their victims an empty husk.
My “mother” is extremely entitled. She believes she should be a celebrity for no reason. Everyone should admire her, hand her whatever she wants (money, fancy clothes, etc.), and basically worship the ground she walks on. Why? Just because she’s better than everyone else, that’s why.
Both the human part of her and the discarnate part are giant balls of rage because humanity won’t bend to their delusional fantasies. Both want all humans to suffer and die and the world to burn as punishment for “defying” them. What I mean by “defying” is that humans just go about their day, living their lives, instead of dedicating everything they have (time, energy, money, etc.) to her.
God, it’s fucked up. I can’t even imagine being that entitled and delusional.
She includes me as enemy #1 in her “defiant people” list. Her discarnate form has been constantly cursing and attacking me all my life. I will try some sort of magic, like a binding spell, and it will work for a day or two and then the bitch is back. I have been destroying bits of her over the years. She is greatly weakened.
Part of the problem with her is that it’s not just her. Both the human and discarnate self are servants of Apophis, the Serpent Foe. She is its puppet. It protects her and tells her what to do with promises that she will get everything she wants if she continues to do its bidding. The snake has been stringing her along her whole life, delivering mere crumbs and promising, “soon, soon.” What an idiot. You’d think she’d realize, “Hey, I’m an old dying woman. I’ve been serving this thing my whole life. Where are my wealth and fame?”
So anyway, the serpent backing her is why she’s so hard to get rid of.
So…in comes Belial. He just appeared and destroyed what is left of her discarnate self, which is strongly attached to me and refuses to fucking leave.
“You are free now!” said Belial. “You can do as you please!”
For the first time in my life, I felt peace and calm. Words can’t express what it feels like to just relax. Before I had to use everything I had every day just to keep this bitch at bay and keep her from completely devouring me.
“That thing devoured your confidence and self-esteem! I will give it back to you!” says Belial. He gave me tips to a stronger, more assertive person.
I can’t thank Belial enough.
Hail King Belial!
