You could also try putting your revenge on the backburner. Give yourself that little smug satisfaction that one day, when you are better, you will do what you must (and you have to have a target, if you just hate everyone it will harm you from ascending. You can be indifferent towards the rest of humanity if that suits you).
Until then, focus on YOU. Make yourself strong in every area of life. Pick yourself up, grab ahold of your mental and physical bodies and train like you are Rocky. Depression CAN be beaten.
Perhaps when your mind is free from the warped perception of clinical depression you will be able to see that most people treated you badly because you allowed them (or asked them). They only reacted to cause and effect.
I believe sometimes we do not act on our own accord. Sometimes we play the role that was set in front of us, that the other subconsciously asked us to play.
You can be the sweetest, kindest person in the world but if deep down you believe you are worthless or have little self respect, people will react accordingly. Not because they are bad people, but because you asked them to.
This is a touchy subject of victim blaming but it proven true for me every time I look around.
Reprogram your mind and change your reality. Itās painful but not impossible.
Those are the rules. If you learn the rules life is as fun as you want it to be.
I absolutely agree with this, and if people also feel that someoneās just yearning to get them back, they have even more reason to feel a primal kind of revulsion.
Whether thatās right or wrong doesnāt change peopleās instinctive reaction.
Yes, that doesnāt mean I have to be preoccupied with revenge, and Iām not saying you can never strike back, just that if your attitude contains resentment and the desire to do harm, people will instinctively pick up on that and have even more reason to shun you.
Thereās healthy self-defence, thereās meting out justice for past wrongs, then thereās simmering in resentment and wanting to lash out at people, but knowing youāre too weak for that.
The last one can control you and this is not healthy, not for you, not for the way people will react.
Get yourself strengthened in mind if not body and then see how things are once youāre happy and having a better life.
Do you think you can change that? Why are you just admitting to being bullied when you can do something against the bullying? Just ignore them, they are a waste of time. And if they bother you, punch them in the face (physically or magically).
You already have power, the question is what are you going to do with it. Admitting defeat is pretty much throwing everything away.