Whoah there

wow this… what is this I don’t even…

http://www.ebay.com/itm/King-Genie-Djinn-invocation-/111058157310?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19db94fefe

I thought they made sales like this illegal?
Its only $2 so I bet that King Genie feels like a bit of a whore

Now those are some BOLD claims to say the least. It would be just my luck if it was real, and then I trolled it because of profile animation. But this is definitely… weird?! I think I gotta go with defectron, “What is this I don’t even…”

funny xD “hurr durr buy this and you’ll have 1000 genies”

The King Genie is awesome! He got me off crystal meth, back into my trailer and made my penis grow 2 inches, the ladies LOVE my new 3 inch penis. Thanks King Genie!

They used to have one for like 900K ebay is awsome

Perfect!

Now if it was the real Barbara Eden from " I dream of Genie" I’d buy that in a flash !!

Perfect![/quote]

Best 5 bucks I ever spent! I had just got done washing myself in the sink at the Quiktrip when I stumbled across the ad. I said to myself “Self you can go out there and get yourself 2 tallboys and 3 single Kools or you can take a chance on Mr. King Genie making all your fantasies come true.” So I grabbed my beers and smokes, robbed a fat guy in a motorized cart and the rest is history.

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Perfect![/quote]

Best 5 bucks I ever spent! I had just got done washing myself in the sink at the Quiktrip when I stumbled across the ad. I said to myself “Self you can go out there and get yourself 2 tallboys and 3 single Kools or you can take a chance on Mr. King Genie making all your fantasies come true.” So I grabbed my beers and smokes, robbed a fat guy in a motorized cart and the rest is history.[/quote]

Too funny

I’m glad to see the power of info commercials aren’t being wasted. If that guy says “King Genie” one more time I’m going to sacrifice him !

they totally shouldn’t make shit like that illegal.

people with that much money and so little sense don’t deserve to be allowed to keep their money whole, and in one piece. seriously, considering how hard i work for my cash (well, used to until the government started helping me out), you’d be lucky to pry five bucks out of my hand for a sandwich and a coke. i don’t think anyone should be protected from their own stupidity if they’re willing to piss their savings away on something that ludicrous.

i guess it’s better than charity, though…

-j

Hell 5 bucks ain’t bad the link says they’re valued at $350 so if you guys don’t jump on this I will!

Wondering Fool, I never knew you were such a funny guy. It’s good we can have a laugh now and then on this site.

In regards to the “King Genie” … What a sales technique. I wonder where I heard of a similar one…I wonder where…

Genius! I will trace King Genie’s sigil using the rose cross tonight and I will evoke him, so i can have his help and get bonus 999 genies for free.

Im already at google finding a new car and house. Im so excited for tonight.

Fuck yeah Divinaror! That’s genius.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NORSE-WARLOCK-WHITE-OPAL-ENERGY-SHIELD-4-PRACTITIONER-MAGICK-WICCA-METAPHYSICAL-/290873197614?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item43b964c42e

Here is the story behind the guy I warn you it is not for the faint of heart abast yee eyes maties My Story

Many Years Ago…

the ice broke and my family found their way across the water in a small vessel. They settled miles beyond the nearest village and lived in near solitude for years. My sister and brother were born before me. I was born in December at the onset of the nine year winter. Each year the ice broke later and later. My family nearly starved. My father attempted to lengthen the fishing season by navigating the dangerous waters. In November of the ninth year, he never returned from the sea. We knew the ice and water had claimed him. Nearly a month passed before my mother and elder brother prepared to move the family to live in the nearest village. The four of us set out in the morning, by noon the weather changed and the temperature dropped. As the ice storm began I could see the fear in my mother’s eyes. Within an hour, we had lost our way. We huddled under a tree hoping the storm would pass. The three held me in the center to stay warm. The next day, I woke to the sun to find my mother, sister and brother frozen to death. I sat for an hour or more crying in the snow before a large man on a huge horse appeared. He dismounted and picked me up. He carried me to them and told me to say goodbye. I cried as he put me on the horse. He told me I would be special, but said nothing more as we rode all day and into the night. I fell asleep as darkness became blackness. I awoke still on the horse, pounding down a hillside toward a small house in the center of a green field. There was no snow or ice to be seen. For that, if nothing more, I was happy. Damen spoke softly when I woke that morning on the horse. He said I would be known as Gallan The Norse Warlock and would apprentice with him until I was ready to be on my own. I would spend the next twelve years with Damen, learning to live by The Nine Noble Virtues.

After I finished my apprenticeship, I returned many times to seek Damen’s advice. Each time I departed wiser and more powerful. For me solitude was torture. It reminded me of my long lonely winters as a child, and the loneliness I felt even in the company of Damen. I longed for more adventure, and vowed to spend my time in the busy cities of the world.

Early on, it was one escapade and conquest after another. I have lived at the four corners of the world. I have collected treasures, achieved immense power, and enjoyed friendship of many. My time has come, and my manifestations are spent. During this lifetime, I must cast out all my treasure before my day of reckoning. Each has something special to offer!

Wicca…

seems legit.

I have this recurring fantasy that when I’m advanced enough to make charged, really powerful talismans and grimoires, I will totally come up with shit that sounds so crazy that nearly everybody thinks it’s fake.

I’ve been a big admirer of Finbarr-style shit for years and I would LOVE to write something that tacky with an insane sales pitch and crappy cover design under a ludicrous pseudonym, only it’s actually a charged talisman that works so well it’s dangerous. (Basically, it would work for ME, not the owner, even tough it’s “job” would be granting someone else’s wishes.)

Another recurring fantasy is a massive, cookbook-style “batshit” grimoire of spells that really work, but that it’s hard to imagine anyone actually wanting to use. Think of the “dancing monkeys” Abramelin square. I imagine big, ornate headings with things like… “To obtain large quantities of inedible objects which resemble fruit,” or, “To cause an enemy to suffer halitosis for a fortnight.” If I was feeling extra clever, I would hide lots of genuinely useful secrets between the lines.

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