I have been working on the basics: remembering my dreams, meditation, chakras, astral projection, manifestation, and visualization. I have also done some evocations of Lucifer. Some of this I have been successful with, others, not so much. It is still a work in progress.
My question is where do I start with the changes within myself. There are many things that hold me back from leading a successful life. Most of these issues are my own. There are just too many to know where to start. I am passive, agreeable to a fault, and let other people’s thoughts, and opinions influence me. This list is what I can think of off the top of my head. There is much more. There are opportunities everywhere around me for growth; I am just too insecure in myself. I always hold myself back.
I have had several successful manifestations. My working manifestations were things I had alot of confidence in. I had worked hard on the mundane aspects and knew that the only outcome would be a desirable one.
Should I list the things I want to work on and conquer them one at a time. How do I get out of my own way? I can, literally, feel the wall blocking me. It is suffocating. I can’t move forward till I do something and I need to move forward. I am not asking for extravagant changes all at once. Small things, a little at a time, would work; as long as there is progress.
Thank you if you have made it this far. My writing can be a bit difficult to follow. I am working that as well.
I wonder if you have tried any sigil magick lately. It could be very helpful. BUT:
I believe that you should give it a rest for a little while. Take a break and ,like you said, write down the things you wanna change about yourself. Then ask yourself: Why do I do this? Why am I like this? What can I do to change this?
And I know I may sound like a therapist right now, even though I don’t wanna play that role. I just believe that most changes in one’s behavior can be achieved through introspection. Indulge in a productive conversation with yourself. Hope I helped. (and hopefully I didn’t get off topic here…)
From what i read it seems to me you have boundaries issues, by boundaries i mean knowing yourself and what you want and living from that. The fact that other people influence you easily is not good, i would start with that issue first, and by getting to know yourself better you create healthy boundaries and people cannot influence you anymore, the agreeableness issue goes away. Make a list of things you think hold you back, it helps to get it on paper, you can organize your thoughts better, then you slowly try to figure out why you got these issues, work with them. Trying to get away from your issues creates more resistance within yourself, instead try to get to understand yourself better. Find certain entities that can help you with each specific issue, angels, demons, goddesses/gods of whatever pantheon you resonate with.
Before you make a list, you need to make sure that you can accomplish what’s in that list.
You need a system that you can trust to get whatever you want because you tested it over and over again and it proved to you without a doubt that it works. Next you create a list, easier goals first, and use that system strategically to accomplish each goal. One at a time.
When you do that, you will be too busy to be under any influence by anybody. When you reach the first goal, then the next one… other people’s opinions will start to become less important to you than they are now. They’ll have their place but not on top of your own opinion or your own word, they may guide you but they won’t lead you.
Try to get or form a working system that you can absolutely trust and have full confidence in, that’s what I think is holding you back. When you have it, you will start moving forward and see progress. And that will change everything else.
@Magerim I have not used sigils for anything other than invoking Lucifer. Much of the time I find them awkward to work with. Lucifers sigil just clicked with me. That seemed to be a sign I was meant to work with him. While trying to figure this out, I did start to do shadow work. My biggest issue with that so far, is the obvious discomfort, but I am working through it.
@olenna Boundaries are something I definitely need to work on. In the past I had written down a list, but never followed through. Fear was a big factor. I’m turning 36 years old so I need to get over that.
@PrinceX I will work on finding one. When I had the money for books I spent it on the building blocks such as astral projection, energy work, and chakras, among others. I will see what I can find online or within the forum.
Thank y’all for your help. When all your problems are because of you: it’s a hard pill to swallow.
I suggest that you focus on what brings results, then expand your knowledge and practice later on. I will send you a PM with some useful resources. Hope it helps