When to just give up on getting a specific person?

When do I just give up on manifesting a specific person? Here are the details summed up, overall this story is very complicated/detailed so I am summing up the most important parts.

About three years ago, when I was not even aware of magick, I met a very wealthy man. We hooked up a few times then stopped speaking. However, at the time he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and had a major drug problem. It should be noted, he a is a young heir to a major fortune and successful company. He is extremely wealthy and worth over hundreds of millions of dollars. He is older than me but not by a significant amount. I am upper middle class, educated, and extremely beautiful, and exactly his type physically. I just want to note that not to brag, but so the story is understood better.

Anyway, almost a year ago, he randomly texted me and asked to see me again. I had been practicing magick for about a year at this point, so I started doing love spells on him immediately. The love spells appeared to be working. He would see me every 2 weeks or so, and he would text me occasionally. As he is a recluse, barely has any friends, has a serious drug problem, and has anxiety/depression issues, seeing him this often signaled the spells were working to me. I was mostly using the love spell from Damon Brand’s Magickal Seduction, Turning Attraction into Love. I also worked with St. Expedite, St. Virgin Martha, Words of Power, and constantly visualized us together. I even did a spell from Damon Brand’s Angels of Wrath aimed at breaking down defenses, in case he had any spiritual protection. I would repeat the spells repeatedly, with calm confidence, as I truly wanted to marry him and wanted to truly state my intuition to the universe. I even called on two Goetic spirits in the beginning, to make him fall in love as well.

It should be noted, while performing the love spells on this young man, I was also performing love spells on an older man I am seeing as well. I want to keep this older man in love with me because he spoils me, has given me a job, travels with me, and I genuinely enjoy being with him. Due to our large gap, we may not be able to have a future together, which is why I was also pursuing the younger man. I’m not sure if the spells would interfere with each other? I always made statements at the end of each spell saying "Do what I command without harming my relationship with “N”.

Anyway, our relationship just does not seem to be progressing. I was patient, but we have been seeing each other casually for almost 1 year now. We barely go on dates, I haven’t met his family, and there hasn’t been any sign of commitment. On Valentine’s Day and birthdays, I received nothing except for a “happy birthday” message. I was quite fed up, so 2 weeks ago I did a layered love spell with four separate Goetic spirits. I am not saying which ones specifically, but they are known for love/mind control. I gave each of them similar tasks to get him to love me in a way that would make him spend time with me and be generous with me. I also did a working with a Goetic spirit to remove any hindering beliefs, thoughts, emotions, or distractions from letting this man date me and love me.

He has said many times that he likes me, and he is extremely sexually attracted to me. When we’re together we have an amazing time and laugh, so I truly don’t understand what the issue is. He does have some serious anxiety/depression, emotional baggage, and drug issues, which I think may be preventing this relationship from progressing? I would be a great wife for him, I’m beautiful, classy, young, educated, submissive, calm. He has even said that I’m what he needs.

Part of me wonders if he has just fried his brain with drugs so much that he can’t pursue a normal relationship. After doing the rituals with the Goetic spirits, I saw some movement as he took me out the next day. However he has barely contacted me since. I don’t want to pursue or text him first anymore, I just feel very worn over it all. I started the Turning Attraction Into Love ritual again last week, I am on the 6th day and it’s supposed to go to 11 days, but today I felt that I can’t even continue the ritual anymore. I just feel myself letting go and giving up. Not “giving up” in a negative way, I have the door open and believe we will be together one day, but I’m just worn and drained of all these rituals. I feel I may be wasting my time and want to focus on more self improvement rituals. Overall, I just feel myself letting go and not really caring anymore. I have wanted to manifest this relationship so badly and for so long, but I also feel I need to let go and stop doing magick on him at some point. I can aim my magick at money, meeting new people, and keeping the older guy wrapped around my finger (which requires constant upkeep since he’s also a good-looking multimillionaire with endless options who is a player).

Overall, I’m looking for general feedback. I realized today I don’t even have the desire in me anymore to finish the 11 day ritual on him. I’m just exasperated with the whole situation and feel I should try letting go and practicing magick on myself more.

Thank you in advance


maybe you just don’t really want that anymore and what you are doing is like “obligation” to yourself, even something to prove yourself
talk to yourself, is he really worthy? if so, take your forces and get him
if he isn’t, let him go and go on with your life


I’ve just already done so much work, in the last 2 weeks I called on four Goetic spirits, multiple angels, lust spirits, and I’m underwhelmed with the results. I feel like I’ve put so much time and effort in that at this point I just need to let go and move forward. It shouldn’t be this difficult, especially when he already genuinely likes me and is very attracted to me.

Also, I do want him. I would marry him in a heartbeat.


When doing so is such a detriment to your life that all your life has become about them , and you have become someone with nothing to offer except obsession. Which won’t work, anyway.


I do have much to offer, but I feel like I’m wasting time with repeated rituals. I think I should stop for at least 30 days and just let what I have done manifest.

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Good advice, if you can retract as much attention and focus from it as possible, that’s likely top help, but whatever happens you can;t let your life be all about this person.

This may help, in terms of handling the need for an idealised man:


Good. Continue the 11 days, and then forget it. Let go completely and focus on something else, while letting out hooks every so often to the guy.

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By “letting out hooks” do you mean texting him? I honestly don’t feel I have the desire in me to complete the 11 days, I think I burned it out by doing so much magick on him. I read that spell starts working even if you don’t go the full 11 days though.

Squeeze out all the feelings you got into the last few days, make sure nothing is left. If that’s it, just do them emotionless.

They will work even if it is just 6, but 11 would be optimal because of how the rituals are structured in Damon Brand’s work.

And yes, texting would work, just to keep more avenues for manifestation open.

I feel pathetic texting him since recently my birthday went by and he didn’t take me out or even give me a gift, yet we’re seeing each other and sleeping with each other. That was one of the final straws for me. I will consider continuing the ritual now though, and just do it emotionless. I wanted to text him tonight but didn’t.

Yes! You need to completely forget the ritual. Or, if you do think about It, imagine it as already being fulfilled and feel happy about the result that is coming. If you’ve worked with the Gallery of Magick style, you’ll know about emotional transmutation and how important that is. Yes it’s hard to forget about a result you want. I’m going through the same thing right now. But the message I keep getting from the spirits is to step into my own power and work on myself during the waiting period. It’s hard but it can be done. I’m finding as I do that more and more, and focus on my own life and goals, the feeling of desperation and sadness over not yet being with the man I want, lessens. Also, from what you are describing, it sounds like this man may be a twin flame. If you don’t know about those, look it up.

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It’s funny, I’ve felt we may be twin flames too, or great life partners. When I’m with him I feel like I’m with a male version of myself in many ways, I also feel like I’m with a best friend. It’s not necessarily really romantic and passionate, which I actually like. It’s calm and like I’m sitting with my best friend that I’m also physically attracted to. What made you think we sound like twin flames?

People can be ignorant. Seems plausible this is one of those cases, especially taking into account this guy has issues.

Since this seems to be the case, you would have to make the important moves, such as asking for commitment and telling him when something is coming up.

Keep in mind, if you’re going through with this, you should be ready to be the first mate to the captain, and push him forward to resolve his issues, otherwise you likely won’t be satisfied.

That’s why I posted the exercise above. :+1:


The fact that it sounds complicated and not easy with obstacles in the way, but that you seem to have some kind of connection. Also the age gap. That apparently is also a common thing in twin flame relatiobships. Im ten years younger than the man I have this connection with and that never happened to me before. I identify because I have been told numerous times in my situation, it is a twin flame - that’s why the problems etc. They are supposed to spur growth in you and often you both have to go through a lot before being together. I don’t know if I ever will be, although all the readings I’ve had say it will happen but just not now. What I do know is, if I fall into despair and grief, (which is a constant battle not to do), how likely is it that he will be attracted by that? So I’m trying to focus on my own life for now. But I completely understand what you say. Its v difficult to inderstand this connection myself, let alone explain it to others. It’s like he is part of me on all levels- it’s so much more than just a romantic attraction. Before this happened to me, I would have read this and thought it crazy. But the connection won’t go away despite the fact he is currently with someone else.


Wow, I feel for you and what you said sounds like what I’m going through. Our connection is unlike any connection I’ve had with someone. It feels like our souls knew each other in the past. The fact that we reconnected after 2 years when we had both grown more was odd to me. I am normally very turned off by men with issues and who are emotional, but his money and success (also I am attracted to him and have fun with him) made me come back. Usually I am the emotional one in relationships. However, I am extremely level headed and keep my emotions under control.

Also, random synchronistic things happen to us. I’m not sure if it means anything. For example, I went on vacation for the weekend with a guy who invited me. This guy happened to be friend’s with the ex girlfriend of the younger guy that I am doing spells on. We all went out to dinner together. No one knew about the connection between me & the girl except me. Then at dinner, the guy I am doing the spells on appeared. He was also on vacation in that town and his ex had texted him to come to dinner.

Anyway, he got kicked out because he immediately got in a fight with her.

I’m usually not into emotional guys at all, but when someone has this amount of wealth it’s also hard to let go. I’ve always wanted to be a trophy wife. Don’t get me wrong, I love working and have a career of my own, many hobbies and even have my own business. However, I’ve just always had an old soul and love being taken care of and the finer things in life. I would still work if we married, but work on what I genuinely love and not have to worry about paying bills, which has always been my dream. To do what I love while being extremely wealthy and being able to do whatever I want in life.

Funny, our age gap is about 10 years as well.

Also does anyone have an idea why the multiple love spell wouldn’t be working more powerfully, considering he already likes me and is very sexually attracted me? I expected/still expect huge results, since I’m working with very powerful results.

you are trying too hard, by plugging away at this over and over you are showing that you don’t trust the magick you have done to work