When one door closes

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the kind words about losing my friend!

About that though- the door I had with him closed about October/November 2017. And it was SEALED when I found his obituary.Those of you who follow me know that I my partner is forward deployed on a peacekeeping mission in Africa. It got pretty ugly the other day with an explosion happening in Togo, but as far as we know, no Americans were hurt and Dennis, my partner is safe.

We have had a whirlwind relationship that actually started online and when I expressed my feelings about him, the usual hemm’s and haww’s were heard and my infamous roomie (who from now on will be known as “the Righteous One” had his own choice words spoken as only he can… time is getting short for him anyway, and not in a baneful way. Now, I’ve been strongly cautioned against casting any baneful magick cast on him, so I will heed the warning and not do so. But the moniker of “the Righteous One” seem’s sarcastically appropriate, for him, and now you will know who I am talking about in future posts within the forum, and it does add an air of levity and as he is not a member of the BALG enterprise, I’m not slandering anyone thus not breaking the rules. Lady_Eva, please advise me if I am wrong here

Back to the post- the aforementioned door now sealed, and the grieving process in “process”, my honey did me a HUGE solid today and sent me his favorite song via chat which nearly stopped my heart. In a good way. It was about us, how we met, what we’re going through right now being apart, the wonderful opportunity to get to fall in love all over again when he comes home, and our plans for the future. I had never heard this song before ever, yet it spoke to me like it had been written for me by him…

Many will say that is just coincidence and not a magickal occurrance in any way. Well, I say BULLSHIT. After losing a partner 7 years ago to suicide and one 2 years ago (that I just found out about and never will be able to say I’m sorry to), then my guy sends me this song that I’d never heard and its eerily similar to our exact situation, yes, I say Fuck You and Bullshit to naysayer’s. And here’s why:

I was doing some tarot work yesterday and things were not coming out as I could understand it. In other words, it did NOT make sense, but I sensed that there was a point to hang on to for some reason, and the reading did say that I would have a revelation very soon. Even more people may naysay on this point, too, but I will refer to my comments above referencing said naysayers. BTW- get a life!

So, there is a point to this odd little post that I was able to take away from this. When one door closes and is sealed forever, indeed another one opens. We may talk about some drastic or even terrifying subjects in this forum, but there are also the little gems that the spirits give us when we need them. Calling this Divine intervention would be very selfish indeed as i was doing the divination with Tarot. And being hurt so badly twice, so close together, even with a relatively new partner in terms of time together, had in a moment turned my darkest hours into the brightest ones. Black Magick isn’t just for hexes and curses, astral projection and soul travel, necromancy and darkness, regardless of what RHP and White Magick practitioners may say, it is also about love. That love can exist between two souls who complement one another and finish each others sentences because they are so well put together. Like two pieces of a puzzle that separately look odd and misshapen put together to make a beautiful picture or piece of art.

I felt like I needed to post something positive tonight as my past few days have been pretty difficult to bear. I even contacted a friend who is a venerated Buddhist monk regarding the sudden discovery of the obituary of my husband, and he knew how hard this was hitting me.

Of course this is a bright spot along the path of my life while grieving my former partner’s death. It is that indeed, BUT, after working with some spirit entities over the past few months (remember I originally signed on with a different name prior to this one), it is my opinion that what the cards were telling me to wait for was just what happened to me today. The workings of the spirits in the Universe are benevolent sometimes and for no other reason that 1) many people knew I was hurting and that energy was put out into the vastness and 2) the energy somehow coalesced into a bright spot that was sorely needed for another being within it.

Lately I had become impatient, terse and very disagreeable in my daily life, and then was hit hard with the bad news of Dustin (my former partner) passing away. And I have also been somewhat selfish in having engaged in “continued, justifiable mourning” for my partner who committed suicide. I leterally forced myself into becoming the proverbial “wandering widower”, became a homebody and missed out on so much life! I made myself do that believing I was honoring a dead soul! What rubbish and nonsense. I punished myself, missed so much everything that today’s wake up from my husband opened it all up for me. The doors were swung wide open in that moment when he sent me the song form our chat session.

I feel as if I have been all over the place with this post, and not very coherent, but if there is one take away that IS for certain, there is Love in Black Magick and I don’t care who say;s otherwise. You know, maybe the stars were just aligned my way today, or it just could have been a coincidence, plausible, but I don;t think so. There is a real part of Black Magick that is Love, and as we see so much pain in our lives working the Left Hand Path, we’d do well to recognize and remember that there is also peace, love and contentment in our practice too. It is powerful. It opens doors. Even as we [perform rituals, evocations and spellcasting, sometimes, doors open for us without them too.

I should correct the bit about honoring a “dead soul”. Chris’s body is dead and he has departed this physical realm, but I have felt his presence many times when an occasion came up that we would be in cahouts together in. So, I was not honoring a dead soul. I was wasting my time mourning selfishly over a dead body. I’ll not ever get the time back wasted while “justifiably mourning”, and I have to deal with that. But I also can say that what I was doing was done, even if it was pointless, out of love.

I said it once and I’ll say it again, I love you man. You soooooo deserve this and I am truly happy for you. Can’t wait to hear all the exciting updates you have yet to post.


Thank You again! Tonight, I feel the beauty of our practice of the LHP! You’re a friend pally!

True indeed, Opto. I always tell people the body is just a vessel carrying our soul, and once our body dies, our soul lives on. I hope you find peace and comfort in your mourning Shipmate, & I offer my condolences.

Thank You dear friend!

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