Not yet… Maybe I already died tho its hard to say. No black horses or demonic laughter at the moment but I know they’re still waiting.
Cut that out. If it starts up again, take a very cold shower and have some hot food after. 
This shocks your system with a threat (cold raises stress levels) then show it you’re safe and comfortable and have survival needs.
Seriously.
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Last night was a trip beyond trips. Woke up feeling like my family had been raptured and then they show up and the first thing my cousin does is show me her new rick and morty lanyard that say peace among worlds on it “please tell me you know what this means” took me two seconds to catch her drift and ever since its been one confusing sentence after the next. I couldn’t bring myself to call them all out by name because I felt like they’d just deny it and I’d be crazy again… But my other cousin told me how this isn’t the first time we’ve had goats out at the Pullar house and I just about named him bael then and there
What I need more than anything rn let’s be honest
Then shiva (insert cousin beals girlfriend) was talking about the evil spirits we have out there were just gonna get me killed and how the world was too big not to see… I’d give my eyes just so I could see more clearly tho, that was one of the things me and god had talked about was my devotion to this. Maybe it’ll happen today maybe as soon as I push the button on this post. But either way I’m ready as I’ll ever be.
Fuck.
Again I really hope you’re okay. Not sure what makes you think you’re going to die… but sounds like some anxiety to me.
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I guess the term kundalini is growing on me. The Hindu did a great job of normalizing the spiritual experience. Their terms help us talk about it without sounding too grandiose.
I like the no pain no gain attitude when my experience gets overwhelming. You aren’t lying to yourself when you’re putting effort in to grounding out. The struggle to turn off the all magic before you fuck up the entire universe is a milestone in the path of master magicians.
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Anxiety doesn’t cover it. Excitement would be a more accurate term for what I’m feeling at the moment.
The only anxiety I have lies in my not knowing what’s about to happen
Took the words right outta my mouth 
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That my friend is the black flame within awakening to new heights.
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I completely and totally agree. 100%.
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